vlad
@vladbluesky.bsky.social
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
My eyes become large
Guys Literally Only Want One Thing And It's Fucking Disgusting
December 1, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Guys Literally Only Want One Thing And It's Fucking Disgusting
what if she described your penis as travel-size
November 28, 2025 at 2:26 AM
what if she described your penis as travel-size
GPS telling me to “head west” like I’m Bear Grylls or something
November 18, 2025 at 1:32 AM
GPS telling me to “head west” like I’m Bear Grylls or something
conversing with a predictive text algorithm is like playing peekaboo with a toaster
September 17, 2025 at 6:24 AM
conversing with a predictive text algorithm is like playing peekaboo with a toaster
cracking open a cold can of beans at the party 😩👌
September 6, 2025 at 11:23 PM
cracking open a cold can of beans at the party 😩👌
more like SLOPIFY am i right? im sure im the first one to think of this
August 20, 2025 at 6:43 PM
more like SLOPIFY am i right? im sure im the first one to think of this
i bring a real not today energy to my everyday tasks
August 18, 2025 at 7:16 AM
i bring a real not today energy to my everyday tasks
everybody got this lamp
August 17, 2025 at 3:05 AM
everybody got this lamp
the vibe of your deodorant may affect the vibe of your haircut
July 30, 2025 at 9:18 PM
the vibe of your deodorant may affect the vibe of your haircut
when im at the sushi i count the seconds to my appetizer like 1-misosoupie,2-
July 30, 2025 at 9:14 PM
when im at the sushi i count the seconds to my appetizer like 1-misosoupie,2-
*me coming out of the bathroom
eagle-eye mike: ya popped da zit
eagle-eye mike: ya popped da zit
June 17, 2025 at 2:18 AM
*me coming out of the bathroom
eagle-eye mike: ya popped da zit
eagle-eye mike: ya popped da zit
Reposted by vlad
future historians debating whether dow jones, nasdaq, and S&P 500 were three separate gods of ancient America, or just three aspects of the same god
April 7, 2025 at 5:28 AM
future historians debating whether dow jones, nasdaq, and S&P 500 were three separate gods of ancient America, or just three aspects of the same god
for awhile i didn’t know what FAQ meant so i just half decided it was a weird spelling of “facts”
March 23, 2025 at 7:47 AM
for awhile i didn’t know what FAQ meant so i just half decided it was a weird spelling of “facts”
someone really looked at a bat and said ‘a bunch of those in a circle would be quite effective against precipitation’
March 13, 2025 at 12:12 AM
someone really looked at a bat and said ‘a bunch of those in a circle would be quite effective against precipitation’
we’re living in the future yet i can’t thumbs up a voicemail 🤔
January 19, 2025 at 4:01 AM
we’re living in the future yet i can’t thumbs up a voicemail 🤔
Reposted by vlad
*rich guy freaking out* Hey does anyone have any spare fire butlers that I could borrow
January 8, 2025 at 3:11 PM
*rich guy freaking out* Hey does anyone have any spare fire butlers that I could borrow
Reposted by vlad
me: *gets something in my eye*
brain: put your finger in there too
brain: put your finger in there too
January 7, 2025 at 11:42 PM
me: *gets something in my eye*
brain: put your finger in there too
brain: put your finger in there too
Reposted by vlad
If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.
January 7, 2025 at 1:18 PM
If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.
it’s a dog-eat-treats world
January 7, 2025 at 8:54 PM
it’s a dog-eat-treats world
Reposted by vlad
just got so sad thinking about how much my cat sees me looking at screens
November 20, 2023 at 2:25 PM
just got so sad thinking about how much my cat sees me looking at screens