Pinned
Sean Leahy
@thepunningman.bsky.social
· Dec 2
"The bond's Name. James Name"
Pleased to... what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"
Pleased to... what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"
Reposted by Sean Leahy
I hope this ishmael finds you whale
September 9, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I hope this ishmael finds you whale
Combing donkeys is illegal.
Sorry, I don’t rake the mules.
Sorry, I don’t rake the mules.
September 3, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Combing donkeys is illegal.
Sorry, I don’t rake the mules.
Sorry, I don’t rake the mules.
Welcome to Bookbinding for Beginners, please make yourself a tome.
July 23, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Welcome to Bookbinding for Beginners, please make yourself a tome.
Reposted by Sean Leahy
wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
May 18, 2025 at 9:13 PM
wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
Just how Popey was the Pope today?
(From the archives, 2015)
(From the archives, 2015)
May 8, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Just how Popey was the Pope today?
(From the archives, 2015)
(From the archives, 2015)
Time to dust off an old classic I guess…
May 8, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Time to dust off an old classic I guess…
Reposted by Sean Leahy
but im a jeep
im a vehicle
what the hell am i doing here
beep beep honk honk steer
im a vehicle
what the hell am i doing here
beep beep honk honk steer
April 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
but im a jeep
im a vehicle
what the hell am i doing here
beep beep honk honk steer
im a vehicle
what the hell am i doing here
beep beep honk honk steer
Reposted by Sean Leahy
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
February 8, 2025 at 4:07 AM
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
Hocus Pocus (1993) follows a villainous comedic trio of witches who are inadvertently resurrected by a teenage boy in Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night.
February 3, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Hocus Pocus (1993) follows a villainous comedic trio of witches who are inadvertently resurrected by a teenage boy in Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night.
Reposted by Sean Leahy
Funerals should have a bit where they ask the congregation to speak up if there’s any lawful reason why the dead person shouldn’t be buried
January 24, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Funerals should have a bit where they ask the congregation to speak up if there’s any lawful reason why the dead person shouldn’t be buried
Tony Slattery was an uncageable comic for whom Whose Line..? was built for. A true clown. What a talent.
January 14, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Tony Slattery was an uncageable comic for whom Whose Line..? was built for. A true clown. What a talent.
I owe my sandwich toaster a lot of money, but debtor the breville you know.
December 20, 2024 at 2:18 PM
I owe my sandwich toaster a lot of money, but debtor the breville you know.
Wife: What is this?
Me: [covered head to toe in ketchup] Santa Sauce is coming to town
Wife: Sean, we've talked about this
Me: Happy hollandaise
Wife: You promised
Me: [shouting at the car as she drives away] …AND MAYO YOUR CHRISTMASES BE W–
Me: [covered head to toe in ketchup] Santa Sauce is coming to town
Wife: Sean, we've talked about this
Me: Happy hollandaise
Wife: You promised
Me: [shouting at the car as she drives away] …AND MAYO YOUR CHRISTMASES BE W–
December 20, 2024 at 12:22 PM
Wife: What is this?
Me: [covered head to toe in ketchup] Santa Sauce is coming to town
Wife: Sean, we've talked about this
Me: Happy hollandaise
Wife: You promised
Me: [shouting at the car as she drives away] …AND MAYO YOUR CHRISTMASES BE W–
Me: [covered head to toe in ketchup] Santa Sauce is coming to town
Wife: Sean, we've talked about this
Me: Happy hollandaise
Wife: You promised
Me: [shouting at the car as she drives away] …AND MAYO YOUR CHRISTMASES BE W–
Me: Janet’s boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi
Wife: He looks nothing like him
Janet’s bf: [tapping on car window] Don’t forget about Gandhi
Wife: He looks nothing like him
Janet’s bf: [tapping on car window] Don’t forget about Gandhi
December 18, 2024 at 9:49 AM
Me: Janet’s boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi
Wife: He looks nothing like him
Janet’s bf: [tapping on car window] Don’t forget about Gandhi
Wife: He looks nothing like him
Janet’s bf: [tapping on car window] Don’t forget about Gandhi
Reposted by Sean Leahy
Getting fired in the Open Office Geodesic Dome, the Hurt Yurt, the Fear Sphere, the Dodecadownsizer
July 17, 2024 at 11:23 PM
Getting fired in the Open Office Geodesic Dome, the Hurt Yurt, the Fear Sphere, the Dodecadownsizer
The police said I’d be locked up if I’m caught stealing kitchen utensils again, but I’m willing to take the whisk.
December 16, 2024 at 11:12 AM
The police said I’d be locked up if I’m caught stealing kitchen utensils again, but I’m willing to take the whisk.
Father Christmas isn’t particularly handsome in rainy weather…
But he’s dashing through the snow.
But he’s dashing through the snow.
December 13, 2024 at 10:05 AM
Father Christmas isn’t particularly handsome in rainy weather…
But he’s dashing through the snow.
But he’s dashing through the snow.
Enid Blyton knew
December 11, 2024 at 8:33 PM
Enid Blyton knew
Back in 2015 I asked my then 3 year old daughter to guess the names of old wrestlers.
December 11, 2024 at 10:21 AM
Back in 2015 I asked my then 3 year old daughter to guess the names of old wrestlers.
Reposted by Sean Leahy
Excruciating barber experience please
I sold out of this print a while back, wish I'd made more. I think barbers must have been buying it lol
I sold out of this print a while back, wish I'd made more. I think barbers must have been buying it lol
November 15, 2024 at 10:05 PM
Excruciating barber experience please
I sold out of this print a while back, wish I'd made more. I think barbers must have been buying it lol
I sold out of this print a while back, wish I'd made more. I think barbers must have been buying it lol
[hunting]
“In order to attract the stag, I’ll perform the special call”
[clears throat, cups hands round mouth]
“GET OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK”
“In order to attract the stag, I’ll perform the special call”
[clears throat, cups hands round mouth]
“GET OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK”
December 10, 2024 at 10:41 AM
[hunting]
“In order to attract the stag, I’ll perform the special call”
[clears throat, cups hands round mouth]
“GET OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK”
“In order to attract the stag, I’ll perform the special call”
[clears throat, cups hands round mouth]
“GET OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK”
Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin’
December 9, 2024 at 3:17 PM
Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin’
Waiter: “Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?”
Me: “Yes please”
Waiter: [clears throat] “THIS TOWN, AHH AHHH, IS COMIN’ LIKE A GHOST TOWN”
Me: “Yes please”
Waiter: [clears throat] “THIS TOWN, AHH AHHH, IS COMIN’ LIKE A GHOST TOWN”
December 9, 2024 at 11:50 AM
Waiter: “Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?”
Me: “Yes please”
Waiter: [clears throat] “THIS TOWN, AHH AHHH, IS COMIN’ LIKE A GHOST TOWN”
Me: “Yes please”
Waiter: [clears throat] “THIS TOWN, AHH AHHH, IS COMIN’ LIKE A GHOST TOWN”
[murder scene]
Detective: “So the victim drowned?”
Cop: “After suffering a blow to the head”
Detective: “What’s he doing?”
Me: [trying to draw chalk outline on the river]
Detective: “So the victim drowned?”
Cop: “After suffering a blow to the head”
Detective: “What’s he doing?”
Me: [trying to draw chalk outline on the river]
December 8, 2024 at 1:04 PM
[murder scene]
Detective: “So the victim drowned?”
Cop: “After suffering a blow to the head”
Detective: “What’s he doing?”
Me: [trying to draw chalk outline on the river]
Detective: “So the victim drowned?”
Cop: “After suffering a blow to the head”
Detective: “What’s he doing?”
Me: [trying to draw chalk outline on the river]
Boss: Isn’t your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move?
Crab: [to HR person] See, this is what I’m talking about.
Crab: [to HR person] See, this is what I’m talking about.
December 7, 2024 at 3:31 PM
Boss: Isn’t your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move?
Crab: [to HR person] See, this is what I’m talking about.
Crab: [to HR person] See, this is what I’m talking about.