The girl with the Garfield tattoo
@themaplewitch.bsky.social
Retired Manic Pixie Dreamgirl.
Smarter than I act online.
Overeducated and understimulated.
Co-owner and editor for With an X Books
https://bsky.app/profile/withanxbooks.bsky.social
https://www.withanxbooks.com/
Smarter than I act online.
Overeducated and understimulated.
Co-owner and editor for With an X Books
https://bsky.app/profile/withanxbooks.bsky.social
https://www.withanxbooks.com/
Pinned
I don’t know how to better explain this, but if you have feelings for me, you’re gay. Even if you think you’re a cis man who has a crush on me, a ciswoman, you’re wrong. You’re gay.
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
The reason dating sucks so much in north eastern Ohio is that your options are pretty much a Kelce or a Paul or the most socially awkward programmer with an unkempt beard.
December 21, 2025 at 5:19 PM
The reason dating sucks so much in north eastern Ohio is that your options are pretty much a Kelce or a Paul or the most socially awkward programmer with an unkempt beard.
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
I think "Freddy Got Fingered" has artistic value. I didn't enjoy the movie like I would a regular comedy but watching a purely unfiltered vision of someone like Tom Green with no regard for marketability, conventions, or other 2001 versions of "the algorithm" is one unique experience.
February 11, 2026 at 1:43 PM
I think "Freddy Got Fingered" has artistic value. I didn't enjoy the movie like I would a regular comedy but watching a purely unfiltered vision of someone like Tom Green with no regard for marketability, conventions, or other 2001 versions of "the algorithm" is one unique experience.
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
Dating is slowly turning me into an avoidant because anytime a man is kind to me an air raid siren goes off in the back of my head.
January 2, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Dating is slowly turning me into an avoidant because anytime a man is kind to me an air raid siren goes off in the back of my head.
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
one day i'll learn not to trust men who are too nice to me. one day.
November 2, 2025 at 1:46 PM
one day i'll learn not to trust men who are too nice to me. one day.
 Are you aware that Kermit’s voice is Wrong in the Muppet show remake or are you Neurotypical?
February 10, 2026 at 9:50 PM
 Are you aware that Kermit’s voice is Wrong in the Muppet show remake or are you Neurotypical?
Missing him feels like PTSD I forget how to breathe when I remember his gap toothed smile
February 10, 2026 at 8:45 PM
Missing him feels like PTSD I forget how to breathe when I remember his gap toothed smile
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
McIVER: Do you consider yourself a religious man?
LYONS: Yes mam
McIVER: How do you think judgment day will work for you with so much blood on your hands?
LYONS: I'm not going to entertain that question
McIVER: Do you think you're going to hell, Mr Lyons?
LYONS: Yes mam
McIVER: How do you think judgment day will work for you with so much blood on your hands?
LYONS: I'm not going to entertain that question
McIVER: Do you think you're going to hell, Mr Lyons?
February 10, 2026 at 5:34 PM
McIVER: Do you consider yourself a religious man?
LYONS: Yes mam
McIVER: How do you think judgment day will work for you with so much blood on your hands?
LYONS: I'm not going to entertain that question
McIVER: Do you think you're going to hell, Mr Lyons?
LYONS: Yes mam
McIVER: How do you think judgment day will work for you with so much blood on your hands?
LYONS: I'm not going to entertain that question
McIVER: Do you think you're going to hell, Mr Lyons?
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
February 10, 2026 at 4:21 AM
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Ask someone who loves Asian pop music I don’t understand why everyone’s complaining about the Super Bowl being in a different language. Do y’all really need words to enjoy something.
February 9, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Ask someone who loves Asian pop music I don’t understand why everyone’s complaining about the Super Bowl being in a different language. Do y’all really need words to enjoy something.
Nothing annoys me more than when a man tries to pull the I’m a stupid Luddite who doesn’t use apps move as an excuse to be harder to reach. like I see you using an Instagram correctly. You know how to FaceTime.
February 9, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Nothing annoys me more than when a man tries to pull the I’m a stupid Luddite who doesn’t use apps move as an excuse to be harder to reach. like I see you using an Instagram correctly. You know how to FaceTime.
Meet me at
February 9, 2026 at 12:52 PM
Meet me at
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
MY KIDS: so why are there muppets in the AUDIENCE
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
February 8, 2026 at 3:59 AM
MY KIDS: so why are there muppets in the AUDIENCE
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
no eres mis casa bonita
no eres mis esposa bonita
no eres mis esposa bonita
February 9, 2026 at 1:33 AM
no eres mis casa bonita
no eres mis esposa bonita
no eres mis esposa bonita
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
TELL EM ABOUT THE POWER GRID BENITO
February 9, 2026 at 1:31 AM
TELL EM ABOUT THE POWER GRID BENITO
Glad to see Green Day taking some pressure off of Bad Bunny by being edgy white people
February 9, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Glad to see Green Day taking some pressure off of Bad Bunny by being edgy white people
we need to talk about how the undertaker just looks like a goth Kelsey Grammar more often
February 8, 2026 at 9:16 PM
we need to talk about how the undertaker just looks like a goth Kelsey Grammar more often
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
If you don’t have curtains on your house, I assume that you grew up well off because you lived in a place where you trusted your neighbors.
February 7, 2026 at 11:39 PM
If you don’t have curtains on your house, I assume that you grew up well off because you lived in a place where you trusted your neighbors.
Everyone brings up a Muppets Christmas Carol as an example of a movie where the human actor plays against Muppets like it’s serious film, but what if we made A completely human movie, however the female lead is Miss piggy, completely straight laced, as if it is Miss piggy’s dramatic acting debut.
February 6, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Everyone brings up a Muppets Christmas Carol as an example of a movie where the human actor plays against Muppets like it’s serious film, but what if we made A completely human movie, however the female lead is Miss piggy, completely straight laced, as if it is Miss piggy’s dramatic acting debut.
Talk about All-American Rejects...
Was this very mid-2000s emo person press-ganged into ICE servitude?
February 6, 2026 at 2:19 PM
Talk about All-American Rejects...
Am I really your dream girl, or do I just listen to you infodump inbetween bouts of very athletic sex because I have ADHD
February 5, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Am I really your dream girl, or do I just listen to you infodump inbetween bouts of very athletic sex because I have ADHD
Sabrina Carpenter singing her song with gonzo’s chickens and using the line “cluck my life” is just making me entirely too happy
February 5, 2026 at 12:26 AM
Sabrina Carpenter singing her song with gonzo’s chickens and using the line “cluck my life” is just making me entirely too happy
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/
February 2, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/
Reposted by The girl with the Garfield tattoo
Heroes come in many forms and this is one of them
February 1, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Heroes come in many forms and this is one of them
What do you call a boyfriend on the side who is less than 6ft?:
poly pocket
poly pocket
February 1, 2026 at 6:16 PM
What do you call a boyfriend on the side who is less than 6ft?:
poly pocket
poly pocket