Caden
@thecaden.bsky.social
📍Orlando • ✝️ • 💍 • 👩🍼👩🍼🎗️ • 🐶🐶 • 🧠AuDHD • 🩺RN • 🚙CPST • 🗣️EBP + child safety + mental health + equity + justice
The kids don’t yet have the abstract thought needed for jokes so they’ve latched onto a knock-knock joke where the tag line is “it’s cold out here, let me in!” So, like:
— Knock knock
——— Who’s there?
— Water
——— Water who?
— IT’S COLD OUT HERE, LET ME IN HAHAHAHAHA
— Knock knock
——— Who’s there?
— Water
——— Water who?
— IT’S COLD OUT HERE, LET ME IN HAHAHAHAHA
October 30, 2023 at 11:25 PM
The kids don’t yet have the abstract thought needed for jokes so they’ve latched onto a knock-knock joke where the tag line is “it’s cold out here, let me in!” So, like:
— Knock knock
——— Who’s there?
— Water
——— Water who?
— IT’S COLD OUT HERE, LET ME IN HAHAHAHAHA
— Knock knock
——— Who’s there?
— Water
——— Water who?
— IT’S COLD OUT HERE, LET ME IN HAHAHAHAHA
I keep meaning to use this site more bc I know that Twitter may very well permanently break on any given day, but change is hard.
October 30, 2023 at 9:16 PM
I keep meaning to use this site more bc I know that Twitter may very well permanently break on any given day, but change is hard.
Reposted by Caden
I think a pretty good prank on trick or treaters is to give one of them a whole cake. Because they’ll think they just hit the jackpot, but now they have to carry around a whole ass cake for the rest of the night. And if they’re a real small kid, they’re almost certainly going to drop it.
October 29, 2023 at 2:28 PM
I think a pretty good prank on trick or treaters is to give one of them a whole cake. Because they’ll think they just hit the jackpot, but now they have to carry around a whole ass cake for the rest of the night. And if they’re a real small kid, they’re almost certainly going to drop it.
I am here at my appointment 35 minutes early bc the timer I set to do …something??… before I needed to leave went off and I automatically got up and headed out the door bc 95% of the timers I set are to remind myself to stop working and leave
September 21, 2023 at 5:27 PM
I am here at my appointment 35 minutes early bc the timer I set to do …something??… before I needed to leave went off and I automatically got up and headed out the door bc 95% of the timers I set are to remind myself to stop working and leave
My husband’s self-reported superpower is being able to tell which panties I’m wearing by touching my butt
September 12, 2023 at 11:15 PM
My husband’s self-reported superpower is being able to tell which panties I’m wearing by touching my butt
I’m flying to Atlanta tomorrow morning for a work conference that lasts through Sunday evening and I have so much to do before I leave 😭
September 6, 2023 at 3:03 PM
I’m flying to Atlanta tomorrow morning for a work conference that lasts through Sunday evening and I have so much to do before I leave 😭
I can always tell when my brother-in-law’s wife, who is absolutely insane, has our mother-in-law blocked again because my poor mother-in-law starts sending me more Pinterest links
September 5, 2023 at 12:06 AM
I can always tell when my brother-in-law’s wife, who is absolutely insane, has our mother-in-law blocked again because my poor mother-in-law starts sending me more Pinterest links
Reposted by Caden
maslow’s hierarchy of needs according to my children
September 4, 2023 at 1:09 AM
maslow’s hierarchy of needs according to my children
Reposted by Caden
me, adhd haver, eating a meal with many small accompaniments:
yes!! hahaha yeah!!!
me, the same adhd haver, *preparing* a meal with more than two ingredients:
[weeping] we were never meant to count to three
yes!! hahaha yeah!!!
me, the same adhd haver, *preparing* a meal with more than two ingredients:
[weeping] we were never meant to count to three
September 3, 2023 at 8:30 PM
me, adhd haver, eating a meal with many small accompaniments:
yes!! hahaha yeah!!!
me, the same adhd haver, *preparing* a meal with more than two ingredients:
[weeping] we were never meant to count to three
yes!! hahaha yeah!!!
me, the same adhd haver, *preparing* a meal with more than two ingredients:
[weeping] we were never meant to count to three
Reposted by Caden
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
September 3, 2023 at 9:08 PM
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
Since I can’t participate in Twitter Selfie Sunday, I’m doing my own here! Reply or quote with a selfie of your beautiful, worthy, accepted self so I can give you a virtual Mom Hug™! 🥰
September 3, 2023 at 4:22 PM
Since I can’t participate in Twitter Selfie Sunday, I’m doing my own here! Reply or quote with a selfie of your beautiful, worthy, accepted self so I can give you a virtual Mom Hug™! 🥰
Reposted by Caden
your secret is safe with me because there was a moderate amount of background noise so i only absorbed 1/3 of it and chose not to say “what?” to get you to repeat it a couple more times
August 31, 2023 at 5:08 AM
your secret is safe with me because there was a moderate amount of background noise so i only absorbed 1/3 of it and chose not to say “what?” to get you to repeat it a couple more times
I have girlbossed too close to the sun by doing too a good job on a case and now the fate of a $2M contract is going to be thwarted by my lack of desire to drive to Tampa. 🙃
August 31, 2023 at 5:54 PM
I have girlbossed too close to the sun by doing too a good job on a case and now the fate of a $2M contract is going to be thwarted by my lack of desire to drive to Tampa. 🙃
This is exactly what I need because I have a big collection of vinyl crafting stuff that I haven’t touched in…um… a while.
there should be some sort of hyperfixation exchange system where people post the $200 of crap they bought for a hobby they never fucking did and it can go to the next person who thinks they want to do resin crafts or whatever
August 30, 2023 at 11:59 PM
This is exactly what I need because I have a big collection of vinyl crafting stuff that I haven’t touched in…um… a while.
One uncle held the presidential office at several universities and is a published author. The other one had a food truck so was clearly winning.
I don't need the lore behind your favorite posters... tell me about your uncles
August 30, 2023 at 11:53 PM
One uncle held the presidential office at several universities and is a published author. The other one had a food truck so was clearly winning.
*sigh* If you’re going to commit workers’ compensation fraud — which you shouldn’t, bc it’s super illegal — then for the love of everything don’t post public stuff on social media that will show up on a simple Google search and dismantle your claim. Please.
August 30, 2023 at 6:03 PM
*sigh* If you’re going to commit workers’ compensation fraud — which you shouldn’t, bc it’s super illegal — then for the love of everything don’t post public stuff on social media that will show up on a simple Google search and dismantle your claim. Please.
No word from Twitter as to when I might be able to get back into my account. I’ve missed it more than I’d expected! Bluesky feels like I’m the new kid in a big school bc I just don’t see the content from my friends like I did on Twitter. 😢
August 30, 2023 at 2:11 PM
No word from Twitter as to when I might be able to get back into my account. I’ve missed it more than I’d expected! Bluesky feels like I’m the new kid in a big school bc I just don’t see the content from my friends like I did on Twitter. 😢
Josh and the 3 y/o are positive for COVID. The 5 y/o and I are not (yet). Just another week of giving away work hours, I guess. 😭😭😭
August 29, 2023 at 12:13 PM
Josh and the 3 y/o are positive for COVID. The 5 y/o and I are not (yet). Just another week of giving away work hours, I guess. 😭😭😭
Before the 5 y/o was diagnosed with cancer in June and I dropped my work hours drastically, we paid an unexpected $7K in taxes and today we got notice that the IRS sent us to collections for something unknown owed from 2021??? I just can’t. There’s got to be a break somewhere for us.
August 28, 2023 at 9:53 PM
Before the 5 y/o was diagnosed with cancer in June and I dropped my work hours drastically, we paid an unexpected $7K in taxes and today we got notice that the IRS sent us to collections for something unknown owed from 2021??? I just can’t. There’s got to be a break somewhere for us.
Cool, Twitter locked me out of my account after I changed my display name to “Caden” so now I’m just at the mercy of whenever they review my appeal. 🙃
August 26, 2023 at 3:07 PM
Cool, Twitter locked me out of my account after I changed my display name to “Caden” so now I’m just at the mercy of whenever they review my appeal. 🙃
5 y/o: “Mommy, you and Daddy can go to your room to have some private time and do your favorite wife/husband thing.”
Josh: “…um, what do you think our favorite thing to do is?”
5 y/o: “Watching TV and eating snacks!”
Josh: “…um, what do you think our favorite thing to do is?”
5 y/o: “Watching TV and eating snacks!”
August 24, 2023 at 9:42 PM
5 y/o: “Mommy, you and Daddy can go to your room to have some private time and do your favorite wife/husband thing.”
Josh: “…um, what do you think our favorite thing to do is?”
5 y/o: “Watching TV and eating snacks!”
Josh: “…um, what do you think our favorite thing to do is?”
5 y/o: “Watching TV and eating snacks!”
I gleefully read an NYT article about psyllium husk and thought “oh man I desperately need some of that fiber yeah buddy” and gosh even though I like the confidence I’m gaining with age I hate myself lolol
August 19, 2023 at 3:24 PM
I gleefully read an NYT article about psyllium husk and thought “oh man I desperately need some of that fiber yeah buddy” and gosh even though I like the confidence I’m gaining with age I hate myself lolol
The college I went to that had an ABSOLUTE no-touching rule (like, even no high-fives) between men/women had bizarre “dating outings” with hand-holding games so the first time I held my now-husband’s hand was in a corn-shucking relay 🫠
“shucking” as a word. could stand to feel about 20% less horny.
August 13, 2023 at 10:27 PM
The college I went to that had an ABSOLUTE no-touching rule (like, even no high-fives) between men/women had bizarre “dating outings” with hand-holding games so the first time I held my now-husband’s hand was in a corn-shucking relay 🫠