Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
@suitti.bsky.social
Amateur astronomer - Astronomy for Everyone show since 2009 https://www.youtube.com/c/astronomyforeveryone
Writing a book. Have dogs.
Tell jokes - I used to tell dad jokes. Sometimes he'd laugh.
Something with computers for a living.
I don't really do DMs.
Writing a book. Have dogs.
Tell jokes - I used to tell dad jokes. Sometimes he'd laugh.
Something with computers for a living.
I don't really do DMs.
Pinned
I'm giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I'm giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
#joke
#joke
General advice:
Once you lick the frosting off of a cupcake, it becomes a muffin. And muffins are healthy. ... You're welcome.
Once you lick the frosting off of a cupcake, it becomes a muffin. And muffins are healthy. ... You're welcome.
January 4, 2026 at 7:29 PM
General advice:
Once you lick the frosting off of a cupcake, it becomes a muffin. And muffins are healthy. ... You're welcome.
Once you lick the frosting off of a cupcake, it becomes a muffin. And muffins are healthy. ... You're welcome.
The Top 15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
#joke 4 of n
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
#joke 4 of n
January 4, 2026 at 7:26 PM
The Top 15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
#joke 4 of n
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
#joke 4 of n
January 4, 2026 at 7:25 PM
January 4, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Reposted by Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
I think it’s unfair to claim that Trump is only attacking Venezuela because he wants to sell their oil to his rich friends. It’s also possible Trump is attacking Venezuela because he wants to sell their children to his rich friends.
January 3, 2026 at 4:09 PM
I think it’s unfair to claim that Trump is only attacking Venezuela because he wants to sell their oil to his rich friends. It’s also possible Trump is attacking Venezuela because he wants to sell their children to his rich friends.
Reposted by Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
Trump just ordered strikes and arrested Maduro and his wife without congressional approval. Then he went on TV to admit that he wants to control a regime change in Venezuela. He celebrated the violence of it all and then set eyes on Mexico next.
And Congress will do nothing. We are a failed nation.
And Congress will do nothing. We are a failed nation.
January 3, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Trump just ordered strikes and arrested Maduro and his wife without congressional approval. Then he went on TV to admit that he wants to control a regime change in Venezuela. He celebrated the violence of it all and then set eyes on Mexico next.
And Congress will do nothing. We are a failed nation.
And Congress will do nothing. We are a failed nation.
Reposted by Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
It isn't about fentanyl.
If so, he would've attacked Mexico and China.
It isn't about drug trafficking.
If so, he wouldn't have pardoned the President of Honduras.
It isn't about election integrity.
If so, he wouldn't have tried to steal an election here.
It's. About. The. Oil.
If so, he would've attacked Mexico and China.
It isn't about drug trafficking.
If so, he wouldn't have pardoned the President of Honduras.
It isn't about election integrity.
If so, he wouldn't have tried to steal an election here.
It's. About. The. Oil.
January 3, 2026 at 4:49 PM
It isn't about fentanyl.
If so, he would've attacked Mexico and China.
It isn't about drug trafficking.
If so, he wouldn't have pardoned the President of Honduras.
It isn't about election integrity.
If so, he wouldn't have tried to steal an election here.
It's. About. The. Oil.
If so, he would've attacked Mexico and China.
It isn't about drug trafficking.
If so, he wouldn't have pardoned the President of Honduras.
It isn't about election integrity.
If so, he wouldn't have tried to steal an election here.
It's. About. The. Oil.
January 3, 2026 at 4:57 PM
January 3, 2026 at 4:54 PM
January 3, 2026 at 4:53 PM
1. My cat died. I want another one just like it.
2. What? You want two dead cats?
2. What? You want two dead cats?
January 3, 2026 at 4:50 PM
1. My cat died. I want another one just like it.
2. What? You want two dead cats?
2. What? You want two dead cats?
How to Survive 2026
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
How to Survive 2026
Try this. It works.
open.substack.com
January 3, 2026 at 12:43 AM
How to Survive 2026
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
I've had it with my dog. She'll chase anyone on a bicycle. I'm considering confiscating her bike.
January 2, 2026 at 10:52 PM
I've had it with my dog. She'll chase anyone on a bicycle. I'm considering confiscating her bike.
Q: Three people were in a boat. They all fell out. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
A: Because he was bald!
A: Because he was bald!
January 2, 2026 at 10:42 PM
Q: Three people were in a boat. They all fell out. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
A: Because he was bald!
A: Because he was bald!
January 2, 2026 at 10:34 PM
“I went into a restaurant that had a sign saying, ‘Breakfast Anytime.’ So, I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
- Comedian Steven Wright
#joke
- Comedian Steven Wright
#joke
January 2, 2026 at 10:32 PM
“I went into a restaurant that had a sign saying, ‘Breakfast Anytime.’ So, I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
- Comedian Steven Wright
#joke
- Comedian Steven Wright
#joke
Life of Brian:
Brian: You don't have to follow me. You don't have to follow anybody. You're all individuals.
Crowd (in unison): We're all individuals.
Brian: You're all different.
Crowd (in unison): We're all different.
One guy in crowd: I'm not.
#joke
Brian: You don't have to follow me. You don't have to follow anybody. You're all individuals.
Crowd (in unison): We're all individuals.
Brian: You're all different.
Crowd (in unison): We're all different.
One guy in crowd: I'm not.
#joke
January 2, 2026 at 10:31 PM
Life of Brian:
Brian: You don't have to follow me. You don't have to follow anybody. You're all individuals.
Crowd (in unison): We're all individuals.
Brian: You're all different.
Crowd (in unison): We're all different.
One guy in crowd: I'm not.
#joke
Brian: You don't have to follow me. You don't have to follow anybody. You're all individuals.
Crowd (in unison): We're all individuals.
Brian: You're all different.
Crowd (in unison): We're all different.
One guy in crowd: I'm not.
#joke