Matt Hansen
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stoneranger.me
Matt Hansen
@stoneranger.me
170 followers 81 following 140 posts
Believe me, I’m very impressive.
Posts Replies Media Videos
stoneranger.me
Does it really take him 30 minutes to guess who slapped him?
January 23, 2024 at 12:43 AM
stoneranger.me
This is cool! The Weather app shows you where your farts go.
The Wind Map on the iOS Weather app, showing the path that wind is taking. One of my farts is heading to Wichita Falls right now.
January 21, 2024 at 4:01 PM
stoneranger.me
Smashing Pumpkins at a Disney Christmas concert HUH
December 25, 2023 at 4:44 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
rem.bsjky.team
important!
Bluesky is public We want Bluesky to be the home for breaking news, commentary and analysis, jokes and more. And we're taking one step closer to this goal by making posts publicly viewable, which means that you don't have to be logged in to see posts on Bluesky. All posts on Bluesky were already public, but prior to today, our application and many others chose to only allow logged-in users to view them. To ease this transition, we've included an opt-out setting. If you want your profile to continue to be seen only by logged-in users, you can opt out by following these steps: 1. Update Bluesky to the latest version 1.60.0 2. Click Moderation in the menu on the left side 3. Toggle on Logged-out visibility
December 23, 2023 at 2:34 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
c0nc0rdance.bsky.social
🎵 Oh Chemistree, Oh Chemistree

🎶 How lovely are your beakers. ⚗️
A tree-shaped chemistry rig with ring clamps and beakers. Image by: LTS Lohmann Therapy-Systems Corp
December 21, 2023 at 1:27 PM
stoneranger.me
Considering rebranding from StoneRanger to BurnoutBoy, the Twitch streamer who plays the Burnout video game series in an attempt to enjoy life again. Streams will be unwatchable and wildly infrequent.
December 17, 2023 at 6:23 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
422skadoo.bsky.social
Fantastic piece by @amywestervelt.bsky.social
on how oil companies captured some of our biggest and most trusted news outlets.
Warning: it’s sleazy, sleazy stuff.

drilled.media/news/drilled...
December 5, 2023 at 10:28 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
bakoon.bsky.social
thank you mario. thank you metroid. thank you balloon fight man
November 25, 2023 at 4:07 AM
stoneranger.me
New rule: winners of official Scrabble championships get a prize of inventing a new word
November 24, 2023 at 6:40 PM
stoneranger.me
I would like to announce that I’m suspending ads on Twitter.
November 22, 2023 at 11:11 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
nycsouthpaw.bsky.social
This is the sort of talk that tends to preface mass killing.
robertmaguire.bsky.social Robert Maguire @robertmaguire.bsky.social · Nov 12
Just absolutely fucking unhinged
November 12, 2023 at 1:45 AM
stoneranger.me
Money is not the root of all evil, but Shakespeare was!
November 9, 2023 at 2:36 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
poppyhaze.bsky.social
Omegle has ended its service with a brutal good-bye message
www.omegle.com
Omegle
www.omegle.com
November 9, 2023 at 2:33 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
wendycloudberry.com
Please enjoy this, the most breathless and accurate description of a javelina ever penned (see alt for easier-to-read copy):
A screenshot of an article in SALON with the heading “Wild pig-like animals are tearing up an Arizona golf course”. The accompanying photo is of a javelina in recline, presumably on said golf course. Excerpt reads as follows: “She's an eco-vengeance iconoclast who loves coyote pee and running at manic speeds. She's an unstoppable chaos queen with a stink-nipple on her butt, who turns luxury Arizona golf courses into free range charcuterie boards for her grub-worm girl dinner. She's a guerilla class-warfare legend whose mating call sounds like the hissing warb-garble of a cappuccino machine milk-steamer. She's the internet's most beloved trash-eating ungulate - the uncompromising, the indefatigable, the lovely javelina.”
November 5, 2023 at 4:28 PM
stoneranger.me
No, Santa Bowser!
Don't do it again!
Don't do it again!
I'll be a good boy!
I'll be a good boy!
I promise!
Bowser dressed up as Santa
November 5, 2023 at 1:40 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
faineg.bsky.social
look at the bears eating apples
A bunch of black bears happily eating apples
November 2, 2023 at 12:06 PM
stoneranger.me
BALLGAME
November 2, 2023 at 3:02 AM
stoneranger.me
TV commercials have gotten so much better over the last 12 or so years in that I can ignore them and play little games on my little phone
November 2, 2023 at 2:22 AM
stoneranger.me
FUCK YES. FUCK. YES.
washingtonpost.com The Washington Post @washingtonpost.com · Oct 26
The U.S. economy grew by an annual rate of 4.9 percent in the third quarter, the strongest pace since 2021, as spending — by families, businesses and the government — accelerated, even in the face of fast-rising borrowing costs.
U.S. economy grows at blockbuster pace in third quarter
The U.S. economy is expected to have grown at a blistering pace in the third quarter.
www.washingtonpost.com
October 26, 2023 at 1:07 PM
stoneranger.me
Important update: there are 5 Gatorades
Texas Rangers pitcher Andrew Heaney warms up in the bullpen, during a game versus the Houston Astros. Behind Heaney are 5 Gatorades, perfectly placed next to each other, on top of a table. From left to right, the flavors look to be: Glacier Cherry, Glacier Freeze, Lemon-Lime, Fruit Punch, Orange
October 24, 2023 at 1:56 AM
stoneranger.me
Sorry, guys with instagram handle stickers on their cars, but I’m not going to look at your instagram
October 15, 2023 at 12:04 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
celebrityhottub.bsky.social
matt rhule looks a little bit like a cartoon porcupine (this is a compliment)
October 7, 2023 at 2:56 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
samthielman.com
[sitting bolt upright in bed at 1am] most of the ways the coyote tries to kill the roadrunner would, if successful, render it totally inedible
October 6, 2023 at 2:38 PM