Matt Hansen
stoneranger.me
Matt Hansen
@stoneranger.me
Believe me, I’m very impressive.
Does it really take him 30 minutes to guess who slapped him?
January 23, 2024 at 12:43 AM
This is cool! The Weather app shows you where your farts go.
January 21, 2024 at 4:01 PM
Smashing Pumpkins at a Disney Christmas concert HUH
December 25, 2023 at 4:44 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
important!
December 23, 2023 at 2:34 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
🎵 Oh Chemistree, Oh Chemistree

🎶 How lovely are your beakers. ⚗️
December 21, 2023 at 1:27 PM
Considering rebranding from StoneRanger to BurnoutBoy, the Twitch streamer who plays the Burnout video game series in an attempt to enjoy life again. Streams will be unwatchable and wildly infrequent.
December 17, 2023 at 6:23 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
Fantastic piece by @amywestervelt.bsky.social
on how oil companies captured some of our biggest and most trusted news outlets.
Warning: it’s sleazy, sleazy stuff.

drilled.media/news/drilled...
December 5, 2023 at 10:28 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
thank you mario. thank you metroid. thank you balloon fight man
November 25, 2023 at 4:07 AM
New rule: winners of official Scrabble championships get a prize of inventing a new word
November 24, 2023 at 6:40 PM
I would like to announce that I’m suspending ads on Twitter.
November 22, 2023 at 11:11 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
This is the sort of talk that tends to preface mass killing.
Just absolutely fucking unhinged
November 12, 2023 at 1:45 AM
Money is not the root of all evil, but Shakespeare was!
November 9, 2023 at 2:36 PM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
Omegle has ended its service with a brutal good-bye message
www.omegle.com
Omegle
www.omegle.com
November 9, 2023 at 2:33 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
Please enjoy this, the most breathless and accurate description of a javelina ever penned (see alt for easier-to-read copy):
November 5, 2023 at 4:28 PM
No, Santa Bowser!
Don't do it again!
Don't do it again!
I'll be a good boy!
I'll be a good boy!
I promise!
November 5, 2023 at 1:40 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
look at the bears eating apples
November 2, 2023 at 12:06 PM
BALLGAME
November 2, 2023 at 3:02 AM
TV commercials have gotten so much better over the last 12 or so years in that I can ignore them and play little games on my little phone
November 2, 2023 at 2:22 AM
FUCK YES. FUCK. YES.
The U.S. economy grew by an annual rate of 4.9 percent in the third quarter, the strongest pace since 2021, as spending — by families, businesses and the government — accelerated, even in the face of fast-rising borrowing costs.
U.S. economy grows at blockbuster pace in third quarter
The U.S. economy is expected to have grown at a blistering pace in the third quarter.
www.washingtonpost.com
October 26, 2023 at 1:07 PM
Important update: there are 5 Gatorades
October 24, 2023 at 1:56 AM
Sorry, guys with instagram handle stickers on their cars, but I’m not going to look at your instagram
October 15, 2023 at 12:04 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
matt rhule looks a little bit like a cartoon porcupine (this is a compliment)
October 7, 2023 at 2:56 AM
Reposted by Matt Hansen
[sitting bolt upright in bed at 1am] most of the ways the coyote tries to kill the roadrunner would, if successful, render it totally inedible
October 6, 2023 at 2:38 PM