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stealmytesla.bsky.social
Steal My Tesla
@stealmytesla.bsky.social
Don't waste any more time trying to sell your Tesla.
We'll take it from here...

https://stealmytesla.com/
We tried Steal My Mattress as a concept but there's just too many out on the curb already.
I couldn't remember where I'd heard of this company before and then it clicked
October 22, 2025 at 12:39 AM
😁
Working on my next piece of fuckery. Can't wait to share it when ready. 🤡
July 14, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Couldn't agree more! Bluesky has helped us grow our "export" business by 386%

Plus I don't think Musk would have appreciated our presence on his platform.
I don’t really care what this place is or isn’t. Alls I know is it’s been great for the business of The Onion and that both Zuck and Musk have experience cooking and/or hiding the books on their own traffic. Doesn’t really matter if there are more page views if they’re not real people.
Both X and Threads have far more users than Bluesky. But X is a Nazi pit and Threads is exceptionally boring—and if you're looking to drive traffic, Bluesky outperforms both. So don't feel anxious that you're missing out by using this smaller platform. If you enjoy it, happily continue to do so.
July 9, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Sorry folks, we only deal in acquiring Teslas. Although we are exploring new emerging verticals and markets with some syndicate partners.
Instant Pot Brands plans to offer a “45/47 Collaboration” featuring various products branded with those numbers and Trump’s signature “Make America Great Again” tagline.
Home-goods companies prepare new Trump-linked products
From bedsheets to appliances, a number of businesses are finding that MAGA has commercial appeal.
www.semafor.com
June 16, 2025 at 3:46 PM
We heard about this late last night. Ask us how we know.

😏
Fox is reporting that Trump is getting rid of the Tesla that Musk gave him.
June 6, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Lots of MAGA sign-ups today. 🥷🏽 🚘 💰 😏

stealmytesla.com
June 6, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Reposted by Steal My Tesla
Elon tearfully installing a "I bought Trump before I knew he was crazy" bumper sticker on his jet
June 4, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Are you a Cybertruck owner? Got dem Depreciation Blues? We can get that Tesla off your hands and put you in back in the black.
“.. Now we have learned that things are getting worse for Cybertruck owners: The Cybertruck has depreciated by 45% after only one year ..”

@fastcompany.com $TSLA
www.fastcompany.com/91338704/tes...
May 22, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Reposted by Steal My Tesla
SPECIAL LIVESTREAM: Tomorrow at 6 pm Pacific/9 pm Eastern, the Tesla Haters Union Local 42069 will be gathering to hate on today's Elon Musk media blitz.

Featuring yours truly and @esghound.com, back hating together again.

Hope you can join us!

youtube.com/live/YUOCx7P...
TESLA HATERS UNION LOCAL 42069
The hardworking men of the Tesla Haters Union Local 42069 gather to discuss Elon Musk's massive media blitz this week, pushing the idea that the planet's most unlovable billionaire is "getting back to...
youtube.com
May 21, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Reposted by Steal My Tesla
Adversarial as an art form.
April 27, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Reposted by Steal My Tesla
April 28, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Steal My Tesla is brought to you by VanHighs.com

We officially launched our store today. Come buy our merch and support our fuckery.

Happy 420! Happy Easter!

#420bunny #fourtwenty #easterbunny
April 20, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Or those owners can give us a call if they're really desperate.

🤙🏼🥷🏼🚘💰😏
April 11, 2025 at 8:41 AM
It's midnight and Trump's tarrifs are in full effect. What does that mean for Steal My Tesla?

Nothing.

Seriously, we operate on the black market and there's literally zero policing or oversight at this point.

Fraud all you want, baby! You can't spell America without crime.
April 9, 2025 at 4:30 AM
If you can't trade in your Cybertruck, we have other means available...

🥷🏽🚘💰😏
ICYMI: the Cybertruck is such a dud that Tesla won't even let you trade it in for a new Tesla. Imagine how bad things must be if Tesla won't take its own flagship product back to bolster its tanking sales numbers. Incredible #teslatakedown
Nobody wants to buy Cybertrucks so Tesla has stopped taking Cybertruck trade-ins LOL
April 9, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Or if you need to take some more extreme measures, we're here for ya....

🥷🏽🚘💰😏
Yo Seattle—Stuck in a Tesla but don't want it to be quite so obvious? Your friendly neighborhood #teslatakedown is here to help. Come down to Tesla SODO this Sat from 10-12. We'll take your Tesla badges off for free. If you want new ones slapped on, it's BYOB(adges) actionnetwork.org/events/tesla...
Tesla Regret De-Badging Event
Did you buy a Tesla thinking you were doing something good for the world? Maybe you just wanted a cool car. Now, your friends and family don't want to be seen in your car, and strangers on the street ...
actionnetwork.org
April 8, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Marketing our services to distressed Tesla owners, of course!
Elon Musk is telling his minions that Democrats don’t know why they were at the Hands Off! events last weekend.

🙄

Why were you there?
April 8, 2025 at 4:16 PM
We beg to differ.
April 7, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Hollywood, CA

🥷🏼🚘💰😏

#HandsOff2025 #TeslaTakedown
April 5, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Reposted by Steal My Tesla
Apologies for the brief delay in our services today. We're giving our street acquisition teams the day off so they can participate in handsoff2025.com

Hope to see you out there!

#handsoff2025 #teslatakedown
Hands Off!
Donald Trump and Elon Musk think this country belongs to them. They're taking everything they can get their hands on and daring the world to stop them. On Saturday, April 5th, we're taking to the stre...
handsoff2025.com
April 5, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Apologies for the brief delay in our services today. We're giving our street acquisition teams the day off so they can participate in handsoff2025.com

Hope to see you out there!

#handsoff2025 #teslatakedown
Hands Off!
Donald Trump and Elon Musk think this country belongs to them. They're taking everything they can get their hands on and daring the world to stop them. On Saturday, April 5th, we're taking to the stre...
handsoff2025.com
April 5, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Friday jams by The Fever Pistol

youtu.be/jD_H441XsYc?...
The Fever Pistol - Steal The Money (2025)
YouTube video by thefeverpistol
youtu.be
April 4, 2025 at 6:58 PM
And if you can't trade yours in... we gotchu 😏
April 4, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Reposted by Steal My Tesla
There is some good news. Like Mr. Rogers says, look to the helpers, such as @teslatakedown.com.
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
April 4, 2025 at 10:45 AM