SLapstick Roberts
@slapstickroberts.bsky.social
Pinned
I cast Shut Up at your mom’s level
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
The fact that a second strike like that in an armed conflict is definitely a war crime should not completely negate the fact that *there is no war* and ALL the strikes are cold-blooded murder. The whole chain of command are murderers.
December 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
The fact that a second strike like that in an armed conflict is definitely a war crime should not completely negate the fact that *there is no war* and ALL the strikes are cold-blooded murder. The whole chain of command are murderers.
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
“The category is Superhero Before and After,” Pat says.
I look to the mostly solved Wheel of Fortune board:
_ A T M A N A N D R O _ I N H O O D
ME: WHAT IS BOOSTER GOLDEN SHOWER
I look to the mostly solved Wheel of Fortune board:
_ A T M A N A N D R O _ I N H O O D
ME: WHAT IS BOOSTER GOLDEN SHOWER
July 13, 2024 at 1:12 AM
“The category is Superhero Before and After,” Pat says.
I look to the mostly solved Wheel of Fortune board:
_ A T M A N A N D R O _ I N H O O D
ME: WHAT IS BOOSTER GOLDEN SHOWER
I look to the mostly solved Wheel of Fortune board:
_ A T M A N A N D R O _ I N H O O D
ME: WHAT IS BOOSTER GOLDEN SHOWER
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
Rand Paul just posted this letter from the Coast Guard confirming that 1/4 of the boats they stop carry no contraband. The likelihood that Hegseth & Bradley ordered the murder of innocent civilians is very high.
December 2, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Rand Paul just posted this letter from the Coast Guard confirming that 1/4 of the boats they stop carry no contraband. The likelihood that Hegseth & Bradley ordered the murder of innocent civilians is very high.
I’m wary of big tech. You know, cus cynical baby thieves, wanting to spy on us all, etc.
But I’m optimistic of our chances.
Why?
They’ve been desperate to addict us to their nonsense for decades. And yet the predominate touch interface is still glass.
Glass.
Who loves fondling glass?
But I’m optimistic of our chances.
Why?
They’ve been desperate to addict us to their nonsense for decades. And yet the predominate touch interface is still glass.
Glass.
Who loves fondling glass?
December 1, 2025 at 11:26 AM
I’m wary of big tech. You know, cus cynical baby thieves, wanting to spy on us all, etc.
But I’m optimistic of our chances.
Why?
They’ve been desperate to addict us to their nonsense for decades. And yet the predominate touch interface is still glass.
Glass.
Who loves fondling glass?
But I’m optimistic of our chances.
Why?
They’ve been desperate to addict us to their nonsense for decades. And yet the predominate touch interface is still glass.
Glass.
Who loves fondling glass?
But what if we made it so people could earnestly tell themselves, “There’s no advantage to me being an asshole here”?
November 30, 2025 at 11:30 AM
But what if we made it so people could earnestly tell themselves, “There’s no advantage to me being an asshole here”?
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
social media teaches us to stop caring about spelling, or logic, or manners, or humanity
November 27, 2025 at 2:29 AM
social media teaches us to stop caring about spelling, or logic, or manners, or humanity
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
“We’re the FBI and we’re here to investigate whether you committed a crime by urging people not to commit crimes.”
MS NOW confirms: The FBI is working with Capitol Police to schedule interviews with the six Democratic lawmakers who urged service members to refuse to comply with illegal orders.
November 25, 2025 at 5:57 PM
“We’re the FBI and we’re here to investigate whether you committed a crime by urging people not to commit crimes.”
My bedroom smells like boiled salmon.
I have no rational explanation for this, only conspiracy theories.
Most of them involve your mom
I have no rational explanation for this, only conspiracy theories.
Most of them involve your mom
November 25, 2025 at 11:29 AM
My bedroom smells like boiled salmon.
I have no rational explanation for this, only conspiracy theories.
Most of them involve your mom
I have no rational explanation for this, only conspiracy theories.
Most of them involve your mom
A reminder:
“Money” is an abstract concept.
An aberration of the social contract.
It relies on cooperation.
Those with enormous “wealth” really have nothing beyond our consent.
If someone is obscenely rich, don’t help them. They’ve taken far too much.
When they demand you serve, just say no.
“Money” is an abstract concept.
An aberration of the social contract.
It relies on cooperation.
Those with enormous “wealth” really have nothing beyond our consent.
If someone is obscenely rich, don’t help them. They’ve taken far too much.
When they demand you serve, just say no.
November 17, 2025 at 7:34 AM
A reminder:
“Money” is an abstract concept.
An aberration of the social contract.
It relies on cooperation.
Those with enormous “wealth” really have nothing beyond our consent.
If someone is obscenely rich, don’t help them. They’ve taken far too much.
When they demand you serve, just say no.
“Money” is an abstract concept.
An aberration of the social contract.
It relies on cooperation.
Those with enormous “wealth” really have nothing beyond our consent.
If someone is obscenely rich, don’t help them. They’ve taken far too much.
When they demand you serve, just say no.
Just saw a commercial where they showed someone spreading the J directly on top of the PB, on the same slice of bread, and I instinctively shouted at the screen: “What are you, a fucking psychopath?!”
November 12, 2025 at 7:13 AM
Just saw a commercial where they showed someone spreading the J directly on top of the PB, on the same slice of bread, and I instinctively shouted at the screen: “What are you, a fucking psychopath?!”
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
Here’s video of federal agents doing a drive by pepper spraying that hit a father and his one-year old on Saturday when the Feds were hitting Little Village and Cicero
November 9, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Here’s video of federal agents doing a drive by pepper spraying that hit a father and his one-year old on Saturday when the Feds were hitting Little Village and Cicero
Mamdani is going to implement Sheneneh law. The main precept is ”If you see something, say something. Specifically: OH NO THEY DIDN’T!”
Mamdani is going to implement Shuriken law. All must study the blade.
Mamdani is going to implement Shakira law. Hips will no longer be able to lie.
November 10, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Mamdani is going to implement Sheneneh law. The main precept is ”If you see something, say something. Specifically: OH NO THEY DIDN’T!”
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
The world’s first trillionaire initiated a move that has left more than half a million people dead, most of whom are children.
November 7, 2025 at 7:39 AM
The world’s first trillionaire initiated a move that has left more than half a million people dead, most of whom are children.
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
What defines Republican politicians as traitors? The fact that as Trump shows he's mentally unfit and acts like a dictator, they enable his madness. He has a mysterious charisma charming dumb people and racists, and they don't. So they betray their country for a small slice of his money and power.
November 1, 2025 at 12:46 PM
What defines Republican politicians as traitors? The fact that as Trump shows he's mentally unfit and acts like a dictator, they enable his madness. He has a mysterious charisma charming dumb people and racists, and they don't. So they betray their country for a small slice of his money and power.
This is fucking serious:
My phone changed its own wallpaper twice in the past 3 days, BY ITSELF. I did not initiate the change. Did NOT!
Also, my government doesn’t function and the culture in general is being fire-hosed by gleefully boastful corruption, cruelty, and brutality.
Prolly connected
My phone changed its own wallpaper twice in the past 3 days, BY ITSELF. I did not initiate the change. Did NOT!
Also, my government doesn’t function and the culture in general is being fire-hosed by gleefully boastful corruption, cruelty, and brutality.
Prolly connected
November 3, 2025 at 8:55 AM
This is fucking serious:
My phone changed its own wallpaper twice in the past 3 days, BY ITSELF. I did not initiate the change. Did NOT!
Also, my government doesn’t function and the culture in general is being fire-hosed by gleefully boastful corruption, cruelty, and brutality.
Prolly connected
My phone changed its own wallpaper twice in the past 3 days, BY ITSELF. I did not initiate the change. Did NOT!
Also, my government doesn’t function and the culture in general is being fire-hosed by gleefully boastful corruption, cruelty, and brutality.
Prolly connected
Are 75% of modern horror films mostly about wallpaper?
November 1, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Are 75% of modern horror films mostly about wallpaper?
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
Which presidential duties require deliberate, targeted murder of civilians?
Regardless, SCOTUS does not have the authority to grant new powers, such as legal immunity, to another branch of government. It’s not law. Never was.
If we can’t prosecute people who boast of their murders, we have no laws
Regardless, SCOTUS does not have the authority to grant new powers, such as legal immunity, to another branch of government. It’s not law. Never was.
If we can’t prosecute people who boast of their murders, we have no laws
October 31, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Which presidential duties require deliberate, targeted murder of civilians?
Regardless, SCOTUS does not have the authority to grant new powers, such as legal immunity, to another branch of government. It’s not law. Never was.
If we can’t prosecute people who boast of their murders, we have no laws
Regardless, SCOTUS does not have the authority to grant new powers, such as legal immunity, to another branch of government. It’s not law. Never was.
If we can’t prosecute people who boast of their murders, we have no laws
Kinda living my life as if the radio broadcast from Night of the Living Dead were both current and factual
October 31, 2025 at 8:09 AM
Kinda living my life as if the radio broadcast from Night of the Living Dead were both current and factual
Every show with DOJ or FBI or other acronyms used to portray serious gov agencies is fucking ruined now.
I’ve seen the heads of both on the TVs. They’re not looking for threats to the state, they’re into reputation warfare. Threats to their bitch-ass faces. Can’t be bothered to protect Americans
I’ve seen the heads of both on the TVs. They’re not looking for threats to the state, they’re into reputation warfare. Threats to their bitch-ass faces. Can’t be bothered to protect Americans
October 28, 2025 at 9:26 AM
Every show with DOJ or FBI or other acronyms used to portray serious gov agencies is fucking ruined now.
I’ve seen the heads of both on the TVs. They’re not looking for threats to the state, they’re into reputation warfare. Threats to their bitch-ass faces. Can’t be bothered to protect Americans
I’ve seen the heads of both on the TVs. They’re not looking for threats to the state, they’re into reputation warfare. Threats to their bitch-ass faces. Can’t be bothered to protect Americans
Just saw a commercial where the flesh on the local weatherman’s face was shifting and bulging like he was auditioning for a Cronenberg film.
Thanks a lot, AI. Now I have to constantly worry that someone spiked my water supply with mescaline.
Thanks a lot, AI. Now I have to constantly worry that someone spiked my water supply with mescaline.
October 26, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Just saw a commercial where the flesh on the local weatherman’s face was shifting and bulging like he was auditioning for a Cronenberg film.
Thanks a lot, AI. Now I have to constantly worry that someone spiked my water supply with mescaline.
Thanks a lot, AI. Now I have to constantly worry that someone spiked my water supply with mescaline.
Again, thanks for all the gifties, Internet. Good stuff. It’s amazing how many people sent pigeons though. A few too many.
I’d love it if you could spare a moment to hear my work. Maybe catch the feels a bit. Is good.
#timeforfeelings #timeforgiggles #timefordatabasemanagement #giftcoordination
I’d love it if you could spare a moment to hear my work. Maybe catch the feels a bit. Is good.
#timeforfeelings #timeforgiggles #timefordatabasemanagement #giftcoordination
A Little Funsies, by Slapstick Roberts
8 track album
slapstickroberts.bandcamp.com
October 25, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Again, thanks for all the gifties, Internet. Good stuff. It’s amazing how many people sent pigeons though. A few too many.
I’d love it if you could spare a moment to hear my work. Maybe catch the feels a bit. Is good.
#timeforfeelings #timeforgiggles #timefordatabasemanagement #giftcoordination
I’d love it if you could spare a moment to hear my work. Maybe catch the feels a bit. Is good.
#timeforfeelings #timeforgiggles #timefordatabasemanagement #giftcoordination
Mad Stems
is about a living, sentient, ancient forest coming to the realization that its entire expanse is under attack from human activity, so it fights back.
No really.
#conceptual #trees #battlecry #fantasymusic #councilofelderberries #axestrikes #leafburns #coexist
is about a living, sentient, ancient forest coming to the realization that its entire expanse is under attack from human activity, so it fights back.
No really.
#conceptual #trees #battlecry #fantasymusic #councilofelderberries #axestrikes #leafburns #coexist
October 25, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Mad Stems
is about a living, sentient, ancient forest coming to the realization that its entire expanse is under attack from human activity, so it fights back.
No really.
#conceptual #trees #battlecry #fantasymusic #councilofelderberries #axestrikes #leafburns #coexist
is about a living, sentient, ancient forest coming to the realization that its entire expanse is under attack from human activity, so it fights back.
No really.
#conceptual #trees #battlecry #fantasymusic #councilofelderberries #axestrikes #leafburns #coexist
Don’t Listen to This
is dirty. And fun. And dirty again. You don’t need me to explain, you can hear it. Yeah you can.
I asked you not to listen.
I take it back, the piece is about database management.
#workthosefiles #unscheduledmaintenance #systembackdoor
Stop it. Ssshhhhh. YOU make it dirty
is dirty. And fun. And dirty again. You don’t need me to explain, you can hear it. Yeah you can.
I asked you not to listen.
I take it back, the piece is about database management.
#workthosefiles #unscheduledmaintenance #systembackdoor
Stop it. Ssshhhhh. YOU make it dirty
October 25, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Don’t Listen to This
is dirty. And fun. And dirty again. You don’t need me to explain, you can hear it. Yeah you can.
I asked you not to listen.
I take it back, the piece is about database management.
#workthosefiles #unscheduledmaintenance #systembackdoor
Stop it. Ssshhhhh. YOU make it dirty
is dirty. And fun. And dirty again. You don’t need me to explain, you can hear it. Yeah you can.
I asked you not to listen.
I take it back, the piece is about database management.
#workthosefiles #unscheduledmaintenance #systembackdoor
Stop it. Ssshhhhh. YOU make it dirty
Time to Get Up
is about waking up each day to the realization that I still live in this world, with all this fucked up shit going on. You know what it is.
You wanna hear some shit about the same crap you feel everyday, but still somehow ends hopeful?
#criminalsinpower #violentcowards #catharsis
is about waking up each day to the realization that I still live in this world, with all this fucked up shit going on. You know what it is.
You wanna hear some shit about the same crap you feel everyday, but still somehow ends hopeful?
#criminalsinpower #violentcowards #catharsis
October 25, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Time to Get Up
is about waking up each day to the realization that I still live in this world, with all this fucked up shit going on. You know what it is.
You wanna hear some shit about the same crap you feel everyday, but still somehow ends hopeful?
#criminalsinpower #violentcowards #catharsis
is about waking up each day to the realization that I still live in this world, with all this fucked up shit going on. You know what it is.
You wanna hear some shit about the same crap you feel everyday, but still somehow ends hopeful?
#criminalsinpower #violentcowards #catharsis