Shitlawns
@shitlawns.bsky.social
Showcasing the hideous trend of plastic lawns. Cutting through greenwash & exposing examples of garden habitats being replaced by sterile and lifeless astroturf
Reposted by Shitlawns
The bit the plastic grass sellers don't tell you!
@shitlawns.bsky.social
@shitlawns.bsky.social
August 31, 2025 at 2:37 PM
The bit the plastic grass sellers don't tell you!
@shitlawns.bsky.social
@shitlawns.bsky.social
Reposted by Shitlawns
If there is more life on a kids nit comb than a garden, we need Government to step in and end the trend. Please sign to ban domestic use of Plastic Grass
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
July 14, 2025 at 3:04 PM
If there is more life on a kids nit comb than a garden, we need Government to step in and end the trend. Please sign to ban domestic use of Plastic Grass
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
"We've got a spare ball boss, what do we do with it?"
"Just plonk it randomly like you did with the plants!"
"Just plonk it randomly like you did with the plants!"
July 13, 2025 at 7:53 PM
"We've got a spare ball boss, what do we do with it?"
"Just plonk it randomly like you did with the plants!"
"Just plonk it randomly like you did with the plants!"
Reposted by Shitlawns
Artificial grass: the gift that keeps on giving.
Artificial grass catches fire at Derbyshire farm in heatwave
A plume of black smoke is rising from a farm in Stanton, near Swadlincote.
www.bbc.co.uk
July 12, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Artificial grass: the gift that keeps on giving.
What in the Rishi Sunak's Helipad is wrong with people!
May 25, 2025 at 5:58 PM
What in the Rishi Sunak's Helipad is wrong with people!
With record temperatures and very little rain before Summer has even begun, we need to start taking better care of our natural world for wildlife and climate. An easy start is to ban lifeless plastic gardens 📝
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
May 4, 2025 at 6:31 AM
With record temperatures and very little rain before Summer has even begun, we need to start taking better care of our natural world for wildlife and climate. An easy start is to ban lifeless plastic gardens 📝
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
At a time when gardens are at their most important for helping wildlife cling on and as mitigation for climate impacts we need people to do the right thing. They don't, so now we need Government to...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
Petition: Ban the residential use of artificial grass
We urge the Government to introduce a ban on both the use and sale of artificial grass in residential settings. This should include prohibiting its installation in private gardens and outdoor spaces, ...
petition.parliament.uk
April 13, 2025 at 4:23 PM
At a time when gardens are at their most important for helping wildlife cling on and as mitigation for climate impacts we need people to do the right thing. They don't, so now we need Government to...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
Reposted by Shitlawns
We’re upgrading our historic Great Lawn to use durable ArtiGrass™, helping to save on maintenance costs and improve aesthetics.
April 1, 2025 at 7:06 AM
We’re upgrading our historic Great Lawn to use durable ArtiGrass™, helping to save on maintenance costs and improve aesthetics.
Reposted by Shitlawns
People who have fake grass installed at home are cunts, there are no exceptions
March 14, 2025 at 6:55 PM
People who have fake grass installed at home are cunts, there are no exceptions
Reposted by Shitlawns
@shitlawns.bsky.social No, I'm not sure why either..?
March 16, 2025 at 4:54 PM
@shitlawns.bsky.social No, I'm not sure why either..?
Reposted by Shitlawns
Depressingly there's enough business to support a brick and mortar fake grass shop near me, but I did laugh at the advert in the window. So much for the reduced maintenance and cost saving from not mowing!
£40 to RENT or £200 to buy an artificial grass hoover!
What a crazy world we live in!
£40 to RENT or £200 to buy an artificial grass hoover!
What a crazy world we live in!
February 26, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Depressingly there's enough business to support a brick and mortar fake grass shop near me, but I did laugh at the advert in the window. So much for the reduced maintenance and cost saving from not mowing!
£40 to RENT or £200 to buy an artificial grass hoover!
What a crazy world we live in!
£40 to RENT or £200 to buy an artificial grass hoover!
What a crazy world we live in!
Enough to drive anyone to madness...unless of course you had that problem already
@shitlawns.bsky.social What now seems to be the default standard for garden make-overs :(
March 6, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Enough to drive anyone to madness...unless of course you had that problem already
Lady Penelope wants her living room back
I thought @fizzandnonsense.bsky.social was having me on, but pink astroturf. #FacebookNews
February 24, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Lady Penelope wants her living room back
Spot on!
This morning I got my hands dirty planting seeds with a local community food garden, and later I got myself blocked on facebook by a company selling plastic turf for replying to one of their advertised posts with my thoughts about how awful they are for the environment. @shitlawns.bsky.social
February 24, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Spot on!
Reposted by Shitlawns
@shitlawns.bsky.social Royal Borough of Greenwich has forgotten it has a Biodiversity Action Plan. Surely this would have been better the other way around 😕
January 31, 2025 at 6:16 PM
@shitlawns.bsky.social Royal Borough of Greenwich has forgotten it has a Biodiversity Action Plan. Surely this would have been better the other way around 😕
When you had a funny shaped offcut from your last job... #PlonkItDown #JobsAGoodun
January 17, 2025 at 8:16 PM
When you had a funny shaped offcut from your last job... #PlonkItDown #JobsAGoodun
Landscapers that lay astroturf profit from destroying your local ecosystem. Neither consumer or contractor pays the true cost of damages. Pavan Sukhdev calls this concept the "Economic Invisibility of Nature" and this is something that our Government need to start acknowledging.
January 3, 2025 at 9:02 AM
Landscapers that lay astroturf profit from destroying your local ecosystem. Neither consumer or contractor pays the true cost of damages. Pavan Sukhdev calls this concept the "Economic Invisibility of Nature" and this is something that our Government need to start acknowledging.
When you do your whole foodshop in Waitrose but have to pop into Iceland because you prefer their cheap crumpets
December 12, 2024 at 5:35 PM
When you do your whole foodshop in Waitrose but have to pop into Iceland because you prefer their cheap crumpets
Reposted by Shitlawns
November 28, 2024 at 10:20 AM
When the only plants you can see belong to your neighbours, it's time to slip on your shiny paving and knock some sense into yourself
November 22, 2024 at 8:25 AM
When the only plants you can see belong to your neighbours, it's time to slip on your shiny paving and knock some sense into yourself
Tell me you've never studied garden design without telling me...
November 21, 2024 at 8:14 PM
Tell me you've never studied garden design without telling me...
Who's ready for a #ShitLawnOfTheYear candidate?
Don't stub your toe on your crushed velvet sofa on the way to the back door will you! #LiveLaughLoathe
Don't stub your toe on your crushed velvet sofa on the way to the back door will you! #LiveLaughLoathe
November 18, 2024 at 5:00 PM
Who's ready for a #ShitLawnOfTheYear candidate?
Don't stub your toe on your crushed velvet sofa on the way to the back door will you! #LiveLaughLoathe
Don't stub your toe on your crushed velvet sofa on the way to the back door will you! #LiveLaughLoathe
We're taxed for driving polluting vehicles, drinking and smoking because it can be harmful and costly to humanity as a collective. But this, you can get away with scot free
November 18, 2024 at 4:59 PM
We're taxed for driving polluting vehicles, drinking and smoking because it can be harmful and costly to humanity as a collective. But this, you can get away with scot free