Sheila Wray Gregoire
@sheilagregoire.bsky.social
Changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage! Author of The Great Sex Rescue and The Marriage You Want. Find me at BareMarriage.com. Twitter/X handle @sheilagregoire
We all know what toxic masculinity is. But what is healthy masculinity?
Here's my attempt to define it in a non-weird way, wher eit's not all "be strong!" or "lead!"
baremarriage.com/2025/09/what...
Here's my attempt to define it in a non-weird way, wher eit's not all "be strong!" or "lead!"
baremarriage.com/2025/09/what...
What Is Healthy Masculinity? - Bare Marriage
Any biblical definition of healthy masculinity has to take in mind biology--men's privilege in being stronger and less constrained by biology.
baremarriage.com
September 3, 2025 at 11:19 AM
We all know what toxic masculinity is. But what is healthy masculinity?
Here's my attempt to define it in a non-weird way, wher eit's not all "be strong!" or "lead!"
baremarriage.com/2025/09/what...
Here's my attempt to define it in a non-weird way, wher eit's not all "be strong!" or "lead!"
baremarriage.com/2025/09/what...
Reposted by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Thank you @sheilagregoire.bsky.social!
August 22, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Thank you @sheilagregoire.bsky.social!
Marriages that harm us are not God’s will.
Marriages that hurt our children are not God’s will.
And marriages where staying together enables someone else to be selfish and cruel—not God’s will.
We make a mockery of God, and of marriage, when we treat it like it is!
Marriages that hurt our children are not God’s will.
And marriages where staying together enables someone else to be selfish and cruel—not God’s will.
We make a mockery of God, and of marriage, when we treat it like it is!
August 26, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Marriages that harm us are not God’s will.
Marriages that hurt our children are not God’s will.
And marriages where staying together enables someone else to be selfish and cruel—not God’s will.
We make a mockery of God, and of marriage, when we treat it like it is!
Marriages that hurt our children are not God’s will.
And marriages where staying together enables someone else to be selfish and cruel—not God’s will.
We make a mockery of God, and of marriage, when we treat it like it is!
Reposted by Sheila Wray Gregoire
These influencers are the byproduct/ Frankensteins of biblical womanhood/ purity culture books in 70s-80s/ Dobson etc & reap the financial rewards at the expense of innocent children. @sheilagregoire.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
Young Social Media Influencers Are Becoming the New Toxic Evangelical Spaces
What if we defeat the book Love & Respect, but all these young influencers still teach the concepts?
open.substack.com
August 16, 2025 at 10:35 AM
These influencers are the byproduct/ Frankensteins of biblical womanhood/ purity culture books in 70s-80s/ Dobson etc & reap the financial rewards at the expense of innocent children. @sheilagregoire.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
In Doug Wilson's Omnibus III curriculum, meant for 14-year-olds, he assigns Mein Kampf (by Hitler!).
August 15, 2025 at 2:41 PM
In Doug Wilson's Omnibus III curriculum, meant for 14-year-olds, he assigns Mein Kampf (by Hitler!).
My daughter Rebecca's asking a question today: Why do things stay toxic in the church? Because too few of us are willing to speak up and, in the words of the Matilda musical, be a little bit naughty.
It's my Substack today!
open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
It's my Substack today!
open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
Sometimes You Have to Be a Little Bit Naughty
Maybe it's time for us to start speaking up
open.substack.com
August 15, 2025 at 12:44 PM
My daughter Rebecca's asking a question today: Why do things stay toxic in the church? Because too few of us are willing to speak up and, in the words of the Matilda musical, be a little bit naughty.
It's my Substack today!
open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
It's my Substack today!
open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
Reposted by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Just listened to @sheilagregoire.bsky.social on @sonsofpatriarchy.bsky.social and it was phenomenal!
All well said and I look forward to hearing more in the future. Some of those stats were really eye opening.
Guess it’s time to buy some more books. I’m going to need a proper library soon.
All well said and I look forward to hearing more in the future. Some of those stats were really eye opening.
Guess it’s time to buy some more books. I’m going to need a proper library soon.
August 5, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Just listened to @sheilagregoire.bsky.social on @sonsofpatriarchy.bsky.social and it was phenomenal!
All well said and I look forward to hearing more in the future. Some of those stats were really eye opening.
Guess it’s time to buy some more books. I’m going to need a proper library soon.
All well said and I look forward to hearing more in the future. Some of those stats were really eye opening.
Guess it’s time to buy some more books. I’m going to need a proper library soon.
Healthy marriages aren’t based in competition, they are based in working as equals on the same team.
A marriage where you have to fight for a voice isn’t a Christian one—it’s a dysfunctional one.
A marriage where you have to fight for a voice isn’t a Christian one—it’s a dysfunctional one.
August 7, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Healthy marriages aren’t based in competition, they are based in working as equals on the same team.
A marriage where you have to fight for a voice isn’t a Christian one—it’s a dysfunctional one.
A marriage where you have to fight for a voice isn’t a Christian one—it’s a dysfunctional one.
Yes, the Madison Prewett "it will be hilarious to spank our daughter" controversy matters, because it shows 4 concerning trends in evangelical influencer culture.
We're making headway against toxic books, but now influencers are just parrotting their messages!
baremarriage.com/2025/08/madi...
We're making headway against toxic books, but now influencers are just parrotting their messages!
baremarriage.com/2025/08/madi...
4 Things the "Spanking Our Daughter Is Hilarious" Controversy Tells Us about Evangelical Influencer Advice Culture - Bare Marriage
Madison Prewett & Grant Troutt think spanking their daughter will be "hilarious". 3 things this reveals about how evangelical influencer culture went awry.
baremarriage.com
August 4, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Yes, the Madison Prewett "it will be hilarious to spank our daughter" controversy matters, because it shows 4 concerning trends in evangelical influencer culture.
We're making headway against toxic books, but now influencers are just parrotting their messages!
baremarriage.com/2025/08/madi...
We're making headway against toxic books, but now influencers are just parrotting their messages!
baremarriage.com/2025/08/madi...
"Marriage is hard." That's taught constantly in evangelical circles!
We need to change that narrative.
LIFE is hard. And marriage adds complexities.
But marriage should make burdens lighter--not be the cause of those burdens.
1/2
We need to change that narrative.
LIFE is hard. And marriage adds complexities.
But marriage should make burdens lighter--not be the cause of those burdens.
1/2
July 31, 2025 at 1:15 PM
"Marriage is hard." That's taught constantly in evangelical circles!
We need to change that narrative.
LIFE is hard. And marriage adds complexities.
But marriage should make burdens lighter--not be the cause of those burdens.
1/2
We need to change that narrative.
LIFE is hard. And marriage adds complexities.
But marriage should make burdens lighter--not be the cause of those burdens.
1/2
Christian marriage authors often ignore the BIGGEST marriage problems.
When it comes to sex, evangelical books overwhelmingly emphasize frequency, telling women to give husbands more sex.
You know what they DON’T talk about? The 47 point orgasm gap, and the 2x rate of sexual pain disorders.
1/7
When it comes to sex, evangelical books overwhelmingly emphasize frequency, telling women to give husbands more sex.
You know what they DON’T talk about? The 47 point orgasm gap, and the 2x rate of sexual pain disorders.
1/7
July 30, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Christian marriage authors often ignore the BIGGEST marriage problems.
When it comes to sex, evangelical books overwhelmingly emphasize frequency, telling women to give husbands more sex.
You know what they DON’T talk about? The 47 point orgasm gap, and the 2x rate of sexual pain disorders.
1/7
When it comes to sex, evangelical books overwhelmingly emphasize frequency, telling women to give husbands more sex.
You know what they DON’T talk about? The 47 point orgasm gap, and the 2x rate of sexual pain disorders.
1/7
I mean, you don't have to consent to lots of things! But we really need to change the narrative.
Sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both.
If sex is only for him--YOU are the one being deprived. It's okay to say, "I won't be treated like a sex toy anymore."
Sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both.
If sex is only for him--YOU are the one being deprived. It's okay to say, "I won't be treated like a sex toy anymore."
July 10, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I mean, you don't have to consent to lots of things! But we really need to change the narrative.
Sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both.
If sex is only for him--YOU are the one being deprived. It's okay to say, "I won't be treated like a sex toy anymore."
Sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both.
If sex is only for him--YOU are the one being deprived. It's okay to say, "I won't be treated like a sex toy anymore."
Don’t use prayer as an excuse not to draw boundaries!
July 8, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Don’t use prayer as an excuse not to draw boundaries!
A woman writes: “Years ago, I read “Every Man’s Battle” as a young married woman ( after some issues in my marriage) to hopefully help me better understand my husband. Well, it caused me more issues! I hated men! It made me believe all men were just pigs and had absolutely no respect for women.
1/5
1/5
July 7, 2025 at 1:43 PM
A woman writes: “Years ago, I read “Every Man’s Battle” as a young married woman ( after some issues in my marriage) to hopefully help me better understand my husband. Well, it caused me more issues! I hated men! It made me believe all men were just pigs and had absolutely no respect for women.
1/5
1/5
At first glance this logic makes no sense. How can women be these sexually ravenous temptresses, and at the same time be asexual in marriage?
But there is a commonality, and when you see it, you can’t unsee it: women are at fault for everything, and women exist to serve men.
1/6
But there is a commonality, and when you see it, you can’t unsee it: women are at fault for everything, and women exist to serve men.
1/6
June 17, 2025 at 1:06 PM
At first glance this logic makes no sense. How can women be these sexually ravenous temptresses, and at the same time be asexual in marriage?
But there is a commonality, and when you see it, you can’t unsee it: women are at fault for everything, and women exist to serve men.
1/6
But there is a commonality, and when you see it, you can’t unsee it: women are at fault for everything, and women exist to serve men.
1/6
I remember a social media post I made, about a decade ago, talking about how important the marriage vows are, because they keep the marriage together through the difficult times so that you're able to weather them to get to the happy times again.
I said it very eloquently, but I regret it now.
1/3
I said it very eloquently, but I regret it now.
1/3
June 10, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I remember a social media post I made, about a decade ago, talking about how important the marriage vows are, because they keep the marriage together through the difficult times so that you're able to weather them to get to the happy times again.
I said it very eloquently, but I regret it now.
1/3
I said it very eloquently, but I regret it now.
1/3
Ever noticed this?
We’re told simultaneously that the purpose for marriage is holiness, not happiness, but we’re ALSO told that we need to keep our husband happy.
Just an interesting dichotomy, and thank you to commenter LH on Facebook today for pointing this out!
We’re told simultaneously that the purpose for marriage is holiness, not happiness, but we’re ALSO told that we need to keep our husband happy.
Just an interesting dichotomy, and thank you to commenter LH on Facebook today for pointing this out!
June 5, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Ever noticed this?
We’re told simultaneously that the purpose for marriage is holiness, not happiness, but we’re ALSO told that we need to keep our husband happy.
Just an interesting dichotomy, and thank you to commenter LH on Facebook today for pointing this out!
We’re told simultaneously that the purpose for marriage is holiness, not happiness, but we’re ALSO told that we need to keep our husband happy.
Just an interesting dichotomy, and thank you to commenter LH on Facebook today for pointing this out!
Trying to explain to someone who’s knee-deep in complementarianism that it actually is very possible to function in marriage without him being a tie-breaker is like trying to explain the green to someone who is colour-blind.
They just can’t see it. And it’s so sad.
May Jesus take the blinders off.
They just can’t see it. And it’s so sad.
May Jesus take the blinders off.
May 27, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Trying to explain to someone who’s knee-deep in complementarianism that it actually is very possible to function in marriage without him being a tie-breaker is like trying to explain the green to someone who is colour-blind.
They just can’t see it. And it’s so sad.
May Jesus take the blinders off.
They just can’t see it. And it’s so sad.
May Jesus take the blinders off.
If a woman is "choosing" to have sex, but also doesn't want to climax, then she's likely having sex she doesn't really want to have.
Listen in to episode 284 of the Bare Marriage podcast for more on the issues with the book His Needs, Her Needs!
The podcast dropped today!
Listen in to episode 284 of the Bare Marriage podcast for more on the issues with the book His Needs, Her Needs!
The podcast dropped today!
May 22, 2025 at 5:10 PM
If a woman is "choosing" to have sex, but also doesn't want to climax, then she's likely having sex she doesn't really want to have.
Listen in to episode 284 of the Bare Marriage podcast for more on the issues with the book His Needs, Her Needs!
The podcast dropped today!
Listen in to episode 284 of the Bare Marriage podcast for more on the issues with the book His Needs, Her Needs!
The podcast dropped today!
Lying for Jesus isn’t cool.
And just because you think a fake stat “tells a true story” doesn’t mean you get to spread that fake stat.
Instead, it’s worth asking, “if the research doesn’t support what I’m saying, then could it be that I’m actually wrong?”
And just because you think a fake stat “tells a true story” doesn’t mean you get to spread that fake stat.
Instead, it’s worth asking, “if the research doesn’t support what I’m saying, then could it be that I’m actually wrong?”
May 17, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Lying for Jesus isn’t cool.
And just because you think a fake stat “tells a true story” doesn’t mean you get to spread that fake stat.
Instead, it’s worth asking, “if the research doesn’t support what I’m saying, then could it be that I’m actually wrong?”
And just because you think a fake stat “tells a true story” doesn’t mean you get to spread that fake stat.
Instead, it’s worth asking, “if the research doesn’t support what I’m saying, then could it be that I’m actually wrong?”
Biblical counseling doesn’t just mean counseling done by Christians. Instead, it’s a specific school, or type, of counseling which frames problems through a faith/sin lens.
So when you’re at your lowest and most desperate, you’re told that you’re failing God.
So when you’re at your lowest and most desperate, you’re told that you’re failing God.
May 13, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Biblical counseling doesn’t just mean counseling done by Christians. Instead, it’s a specific school, or type, of counseling which frames problems through a faith/sin lens.
So when you’re at your lowest and most desperate, you’re told that you’re failing God.
So when you’re at your lowest and most desperate, you’re told that you’re failing God.
It’s time for something healthy and evidence-based!
Plus it’s time for women’s perspective on marriage to matter too.
Check out The Marriage You Want!
Plus it’s time for women’s perspective on marriage to matter too.
Check out The Marriage You Want!
May 8, 2025 at 8:04 PM
It’s time for something healthy and evidence-based!
Plus it’s time for women’s perspective on marriage to matter too.
Check out The Marriage You Want!
Plus it’s time for women’s perspective on marriage to matter too.
Check out The Marriage You Want!
Woo hoo! And we made the Evangelical Christian Publishers' Association bestselling list too!
Thank you everyone! And if you haven't read it yet--pick it up. It's the book that can change how evangelicals talk about marriage! Now there's finally a healthy alternative.
Thank you everyone! And if you haven't read it yet--pick it up. It's the book that can change how evangelicals talk about marriage! Now there's finally a healthy alternative.
May 6, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Woo hoo! And we made the Evangelical Christian Publishers' Association bestselling list too!
Thank you everyone! And if you haven't read it yet--pick it up. It's the book that can change how evangelicals talk about marriage! Now there's finally a healthy alternative.
Thank you everyone! And if you haven't read it yet--pick it up. It's the book that can change how evangelicals talk about marriage! Now there's finally a healthy alternative.
Debi Pearl thinks the pinnacle for women is staying in a marriage they hate.
Encouraging women to look away when so-called Christian husbands ignore their vows has nothing to do with Jesus.
We can do better.
Check out HEALTHY marriage books like The Marriage You Want instead!
Encouraging women to look away when so-called Christian husbands ignore their vows has nothing to do with Jesus.
We can do better.
Check out HEALTHY marriage books like The Marriage You Want instead!
May 2, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Debi Pearl thinks the pinnacle for women is staying in a marriage they hate.
Encouraging women to look away when so-called Christian husbands ignore their vows has nothing to do with Jesus.
We can do better.
Check out HEALTHY marriage books like The Marriage You Want instead!
Encouraging women to look away when so-called Christian husbands ignore their vows has nothing to do with Jesus.
We can do better.
Check out HEALTHY marriage books like The Marriage You Want instead!
If anyone ever tells you we're not "biblical" in our approach, think about this paragraph that we wrote for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex:
"If your wife experiences sexual pain after childbirth, treat this as an issue that you will get through together, rather than as a disappointment...
1/4
"If your wife experiences sexual pain after childbirth, treat this as an issue that you will get through together, rather than as a disappointment...
1/4
April 30, 2025 at 4:32 PM
If anyone ever tells you we're not "biblical" in our approach, think about this paragraph that we wrote for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex:
"If your wife experiences sexual pain after childbirth, treat this as an issue that you will get through together, rather than as a disappointment...
1/4
"If your wife experiences sexual pain after childbirth, treat this as an issue that you will get through together, rather than as a disappointment...
1/4