@sans.bsky.social
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I don't know what's happened on air force one but I assume either he did a Logan Roy or he wrecked the toilet again.
January 21, 2026 at 8:28 AM
I don't know what's happened on air force one but I assume either he did a Logan Roy or he wrecked the toilet again.
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Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement https://theonion.com/stephen-miller-reminds-picky-eater-son-that-there-starving-kids-in-basement/
January 20, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement https://theonion.com/stephen-miller-reminds-picky-eater-son-that-there-starving-kids-in-basement/
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Maybe Greenland could invade us instead?
January 20, 2026 at 11:16 AM
Maybe Greenland could invade us instead?
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If only someone was desperate to impress Jodie Foster right now
January 17, 2026 at 4:12 PM
If only someone was desperate to impress Jodie Foster right now
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The US Ambassador to Iceland saying he’s going to make it “the 52nd State” good luck with that, they regularly provide about half the competitors for World’s Strongest Man despite having a smaller population than Stockport and beat Britain TWICE at Naval warfare despite not having a Navy.
January 16, 2026 at 8:59 PM
The US Ambassador to Iceland saying he’s going to make it “the 52nd State” good luck with that, they regularly provide about half the competitors for World’s Strongest Man despite having a smaller population than Stockport and beat Britain TWICE at Naval warfare despite not having a Navy.
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Good morning.
A regular reminder: a tiny few hoard staggering wealth and own much of the media, while millions struggle to survive.
That’s not an accident. It’s a choice made by those in power.
Tax wealth. Fund public services. Build an economy for everyone - not the 1%.
A regular reminder: a tiny few hoard staggering wealth and own much of the media, while millions struggle to survive.
That’s not an accident. It’s a choice made by those in power.
Tax wealth. Fund public services. Build an economy for everyone - not the 1%.
January 14, 2026 at 8:59 AM
Good morning.
A regular reminder: a tiny few hoard staggering wealth and own much of the media, while millions struggle to survive.
That’s not an accident. It’s a choice made by those in power.
Tax wealth. Fund public services. Build an economy for everyone - not the 1%.
A regular reminder: a tiny few hoard staggering wealth and own much of the media, while millions struggle to survive.
That’s not an accident. It’s a choice made by those in power.
Tax wealth. Fund public services. Build an economy for everyone - not the 1%.
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🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
January 12, 2026 at 9:33 PM
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
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Donald Trump - Motivation - Iran - Oil
January 12, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Donald Trump - Motivation - Iran - Oil
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Wanda Sykes presented an award at the Golden Globes to Ricky Gervais, who didn’t show up. ‘He would like to thank God,’ she said, ‘and the trans community,”
Wanda Sykes Uses Ricky Gervais’s Absence to Thank the Trans Community
Wanda Sykes presented an award at the Golden Globes to Ricky Gervais, who didn’t show up. ‘He would like to thank God,’ she said, ‘and the trans community,”
www.vulture.com
January 12, 2026 at 4:10 AM
Wanda Sykes presented an award at the Golden Globes to Ricky Gervais, who didn’t show up. ‘He would like to thank God,’ she said, ‘and the trans community,”
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First of all, I didn’t “karate chop” your baby. We were sparring
December 9, 2024 at 6:48 PM
First of all, I didn’t “karate chop” your baby. We were sparring
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Who called it “becoming more conservative as you age” and not alt-rightzheimers
June 23, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Who called it “becoming more conservative as you age” and not alt-rightzheimers
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Menopause: Myth Vs. Fact https://theonion.com/menopause-myth-vs-fact/
January 5, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Menopause: Myth Vs. Fact https://theonion.com/menopause-myth-vs-fact/
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Not now, haunted Victorian shoes
Mystery as hundreds of Victorian shoes wash up on Ogmore beach
Mystery as hundreds of Victorian shoes wash up on Ogmore beach
More than 400 leather hobnailed boots, thought to date back to the 19th Century, have been found.
www.bbc.com
December 23, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Not now, haunted Victorian shoes
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Someone signed up a friend’s work email to a dating website using my name, they knew it wasn’t me doing it accidentally as the person is looking for men, and if I was doing that my ad would read
You: non-smoker, healthy pancreas and kidneys, must be interested in ice baths and anaesthesia
You: non-smoker, healthy pancreas and kidneys, must be interested in ice baths and anaesthesia
December 19, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Someone signed up a friend’s work email to a dating website using my name, they knew it wasn’t me doing it accidentally as the person is looking for men, and if I was doing that my ad would read
You: non-smoker, healthy pancreas and kidneys, must be interested in ice baths and anaesthesia
You: non-smoker, healthy pancreas and kidneys, must be interested in ice baths and anaesthesia
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They terrify me! So horny, and good at singing
December 19, 2025 at 9:25 PM
They terrify me! So horny, and good at singing
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Duck Quacks Ass Off All Day To Come Home To This Shit https://theonion.com/duck-quacks-ass-off-all-day-to-come-home-to-this-shit-1851177872/
December 17, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Duck Quacks Ass Off All Day To Come Home To This Shit https://theonion.com/duck-quacks-ass-off-all-day-to-come-home-to-this-shit-1851177872/
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I wil never take ozempic, because what if the time finally comes to eat the rich and I have no appetite?
December 13, 2025 at 8:21 AM
I wil never take ozempic, because what if the time finally comes to eat the rich and I have no appetite?
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Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
December 4, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
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26 years ago today, we got The Simpsons greatest “deeply buried dirty semi-joke” (and many of us didn’t get it until years later). “E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)” premiered November 7, 1999.
November 7, 2025 at 3:24 PM
26 years ago today, we got The Simpsons greatest “deeply buried dirty semi-joke” (and many of us didn’t get it until years later). “E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)” premiered November 7, 1999.
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Great to see *checks notes* two time Emmy nominee Nick Mohammed finally breaking through.
November 7, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Great to see *checks notes* two time Emmy nominee Nick Mohammed finally breaking through.
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Feeling awful. This is the last time I buy sushi off vinted
November 4, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Feeling awful. This is the last time I buy sushi off vinted
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How I see myself in the kitchen vs how Mrs Beth sees me
November 2, 2025 at 7:51 PM
How I see myself in the kitchen vs how Mrs Beth sees me
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Cigarettes used to be cheap enough that you could give a whole pack out to each trick or treater instead of just one or two loosies. Failed fucking empire
October 31, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Cigarettes used to be cheap enough that you could give a whole pack out to each trick or treater instead of just one or two loosies. Failed fucking empire