OMG your new BFF Rose
@roseoftexas.bsky.social
I live in Connecticut. If my Bluesky time were my age, I’d be a newborn.
Wait, Dick Cheney can die???
November 4, 2025 at 11:57 AM
Wait, Dick Cheney can die???
The Louvre wedding I went to yesterday was giving out the coolest party favors!
October 20, 2025 at 12:11 AM
The Louvre wedding I went to yesterday was giving out the coolest party favors!
Don’t get too upset if the Rapture skips you — it’s not the end of the world.
September 23, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Don’t get too upset if the Rapture skips you — it’s not the end of the world.
Your English teacher and your debate teacher are getting married
August 27, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Your English teacher and your debate teacher are getting married
If you throw a shrimp po’ boy at a cop, it’s technically nuclear warfare
August 19, 2025 at 11:01 PM
If you throw a shrimp po’ boy at a cop, it’s technically nuclear warfare
I made shrimp hush puppies
August 19, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I made shrimp hush puppies
“Do you have a license to carry that dangerous weapon?”
“Sure do:”
“Sure do:”
August 15, 2025 at 7:53 PM
“Do you have a license to carry that dangerous weapon?”
“Sure do:”
“Sure do:”
My husband and me coming out of the theater after the new Naked Gun movie
August 3, 2025 at 12:48 AM
My husband and me coming out of the theater after the new Naked Gun movie
Giving the jobs numbers the old Hurricane Dorian treatment
August 1, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Giving the jobs numbers the old Hurricane Dorian treatment
I also will not tolerate my employees reporting unflattering data
August 1, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I also will not tolerate my employees reporting unflattering data
Every 12-24 months, you need to take your kids to a festival in order to remind yourself that your kids are not cut out for going to festivals
July 26, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Every 12-24 months, you need to take your kids to a festival in order to remind yourself that your kids are not cut out for going to festivals
BREAKING: Sauron vehemently denies his name appears at multiple points in the dusty archives, will also not release them, also suggests they were forged
July 23, 2025 at 9:42 PM
BREAKING: Sauron vehemently denies his name appears at multiple points in the dusty archives, will also not release them, also suggests they were forged
Me, bravely going out on a limb when a plot point appears to wrap up at this point in the book:
“I don’t think that’s the end of this story.”
“I don’t think that’s the end of this story.”
July 23, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Me, bravely going out on a limb when a plot point appears to wrap up at this point in the book:
“I don’t think that’s the end of this story.”
“I don’t think that’s the end of this story.”
This guy has sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map
July 21, 2025 at 7:56 PM
This guy has sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map
Jim never listens to Coldplay at home
July 17, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Jim never listens to Coldplay at home
Honestly, this is the most culturally relevant Coldplay has been in years
July 17, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Honestly, this is the most culturally relevant Coldplay has been in years
The coldest play will be when his wife serves him with divorce papers
July 17, 2025 at 4:25 PM
The coldest play will be when his wife serves him with divorce papers
Reposted by OMG your new BFF Rose
for the record, I am completely for journalists whipping out their phone mid-interview to look things up
July 16, 2025 at 10:06 PM
for the record, I am completely for journalists whipping out their phone mid-interview to look things up
Reposted by OMG your new BFF Rose
I guess you could say I ate the Epstein files and they’re in my belly.
July 12, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I guess you could say I ate the Epstein files and they’re in my belly.
Why do presidential terms have to be four years? This sucks. How long have we been doing this??
June 27, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Why do presidential terms have to be four years? This sucks. How long have we been doing this??
If I use this emoji, I want you to 👏 please 👏 hand 👏 me 👏 all the 👏 grey 👏 Doritos 👏
June 26, 2025 at 9:28 PM
If I use this emoji, I want you to 👏 please 👏 hand 👏 me 👏 all the 👏 grey 👏 Doritos 👏
Reposted by OMG your new BFF Rose
As far back as I can remember I always wanted to die to keep Benjamin Netanyahu out of prison
June 22, 2025 at 12:49 AM
As far back as I can remember I always wanted to die to keep Benjamin Netanyahu out of prison
Reposted by OMG your new BFF Rose
hey panera can we have the lemonade that kills us again
June 22, 2025 at 12:35 AM
hey panera can we have the lemonade that kills us again
NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE, I yell after punching somebody in the face
June 22, 2025 at 12:17 AM
NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE, I yell after punching somebody in the face
Not me getting all cozy and cuddly after the hygienist puts the lead apron on me like a weighted blanket ☺️
June 17, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Not me getting all cozy and cuddly after the hygienist puts the lead apron on me like a weighted blanket ☺️