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rarecryptid.bsky.social
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@rarecryptid.bsky.social
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[Doing an unboxing video of the child I just got back from a "full treatment" in Seoul and its just a placid baby face staring up from a quivering sheet of perfectly smooth skin, smiling from box]

15$ SUPERCHAT: 🥞🥞🥞

[Tearily smiling at the camera] he looks so... perfect.. wow! thanks for donation!
February 17, 2026 at 12:30 AM
I actually did most of the labors of Hercules for him and then he never fucking paid me.
February 17, 2026 at 12:22 AM
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Blew my three leg parlay on omenbook, I got calf with the face of a man and a clap of thunder in a clear sky but no fucking two hawks fighting which is crazy because I figured hawks were always fighting
February 15, 2026 at 5:45 PM
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The Epstein files include an order for 55-gallon drums of acid; Bannon abandoned a Florida rental where the Jacuzzi had been wrecked with acid www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general...
February 16, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Locking eyes and exchanging the Player's Embrace
February 16, 2026 at 8:46 PM
The instincts of a tiger on the prowl
February 16, 2026 at 8:36 PM
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I have to use a parabolic mic because my wife only lets me listen to 3 or 4 birds at a time
February 15, 2026 at 10:43 PM
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February 16, 2026 at 3:06 PM
Its Monday
February 16, 2026 at 1:50 PM
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February 16, 2026 at 4:19 AM
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February 16, 2026 at 2:26 AM
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I'm hyperventilating
February 15, 2026 at 10:52 PM
"Mythic Bastionland"
February 16, 2026 at 2:42 AM
Giving a thumbs up to nobody as they lower me into the pit, speakers blasting "Real Hero" by College as the hogs start eating me from the toes up.
February 16, 2026 at 2:25 AM
Imagine how quickly you could eat food with three sets of teeth. It would usher in a new era of leisure and delight.
February 16, 2026 at 1:37 AM
Eating a particularly good spinach dip at my friend's house and kidnapping his wife so she can make it for me every day. "Woah man, you look different," he says, noticing how fat and sleek my new diet has made me, "oh, uh Carol? I guess she's still in Philly at that conference." He has no idea😂
February 16, 2026 at 1:34 AM
Kneeling in supplication before the Dread Seer of the Triple God, seeking wisdom:
February 15, 2026 at 9:29 PM
You're about to hear the worst Mike D and Ad Rock rhymes in the world.
February 15, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Got to be a huge [reddit gold mining] industry in using AI to generate "oh no, using AI fucked up my business" posts
February 15, 2026 at 3:09 PM
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Hayao Miyazaki
February 14, 2026 at 12:00 PM
The elusive homie...
February 13, 2026 at 1:42 PM
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Bro has gone small
February 13, 2026 at 1:40 PM
[Standing behind the new guy finger in his back] 2x damage! Haha. Im Rick, the office Rogue. Who's showing you around... Oh, hey Cheryl [whisper] listen, let me know if you need anything stolen or someone poisoned. Sick of Cheryl?

[Cheryl] excuse me?

[Innocently] Cheryl, coffee taste normal today?
February 13, 2026 at 12:54 PM
Man in a big top hat keeps following me around saying Id be "perfect for the circus" and a "remarkable specimen".
February 13, 2026 at 12:48 PM
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It can be unclear to the reader what an editor does. My two biggest "wins" during my career were convincing Tolkien to not include the appendix that spelled out which fantasy race corresponds to which real world people group, and making Nader focus on cars and not tricycles in Unsafe at Any Speed.
February 13, 2026 at 12:01 PM