Max Miller
@ohhelloitsmax.bsky.social
Co-host of Bob’s Credits - A Bob’s Burgers Podcast
Pinned
Max Miller
@ohhelloitsmax.bsky.social
· Dec 21
On a scale of one to “I’ve shoved a used paper towel into my pocket rather than ask a new acquaintance where the trash is in their house”, how much of an introvert are you?
Important Aging Life Hack: Make all your doctors appointments in October when they have bowls of Halloween candy out at the front desk.
October 17, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Important Aging Life Hack: Make all your doctors appointments in October when they have bowls of Halloween candy out at the front desk.
Me checking my favorite coffee shop to make sure they’re open after the Rapture.
September 22, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Me checking my favorite coffee shop to make sure they’re open after the Rapture.
Messing with spammers is one of the few joys that remain in life
March 20, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Messing with spammers is one of the few joys that remain in life
Me after 30 seconds of scrolling on my phone:
March 3, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Me after 30 seconds of scrolling on my phone:
Reposted by Max Miller
The Best Picture Nominees Told in Bob’s Burgers Quotes:
January 30, 2025 at 7:42 PM
The Best Picture Nominees Told in Bob’s Burgers Quotes:
January:
an older woman is crying and says it 's been 84 years
ALT: an older woman is crying and says it 's been 84 years
media.tenor.com
January 27, 2025 at 7:06 PM
January:
This is the only photo that brings me any joy right now.
January 23, 2025 at 8:08 PM
This is the only photo that brings me any joy right now.
Paddington 2 should just be allowed to be nominated for Best Picture every year until it wins.
January 23, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Paddington 2 should just be allowed to be nominated for Best Picture every year until it wins.
Current Mental State: Pasta Pot Gremlin from “Gremlins 2”
January 18, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Current Mental State: Pasta Pot Gremlin from “Gremlins 2”
Me: New Years Eve is the day after Christmas!
My Calendar: *takes off glasses and grabs the bridge of its nose with its thumb and forefinger* Must we go through this every year?
My Calendar: *takes off glasses and grabs the bridge of its nose with its thumb and forefinger* Must we go through this every year?
December 26, 2024 at 8:27 PM
Me: New Years Eve is the day after Christmas!
My Calendar: *takes off glasses and grabs the bridge of its nose with its thumb and forefinger* Must we go through this every year?
My Calendar: *takes off glasses and grabs the bridge of its nose with its thumb and forefinger* Must we go through this every year?
Reposted by Max Miller
Me at approximately 11am on Christmas Day:
December 25, 2024 at 7:59 PM
Me at approximately 11am on Christmas Day:
Reposted by Max Miller
GENIE: what is your first wish
JOE: i want to be rich
GENIE: granted. and what is your second wish
RICH: i want lots of money
JOE: i want to be rich
GENIE: granted. and what is your second wish
RICH: i want lots of money
June 15, 2023 at 3:28 PM
GENIE: what is your first wish
JOE: i want to be rich
GENIE: granted. and what is your second wish
RICH: i want lots of money
JOE: i want to be rich
GENIE: granted. and what is your second wish
RICH: i want lots of money
Reposted by Max Miller
MARY JANE: sorry about your uncle dan
PETER PARKER: it’s ben
MARY JANE: 🎵one week since you looked at me
PETER PARKER: it’s ben
MARY JANE: 🎵one week since you looked at me
August 31, 2024 at 3:53 AM
MARY JANE: sorry about your uncle dan
PETER PARKER: it’s ben
MARY JANE: 🎵one week since you looked at me
PETER PARKER: it’s ben
MARY JANE: 🎵one week since you looked at me
Reposted by Max Miller
I swear to god if i see another fucking person posting with a pic of their cat or dog i will like it and possibly leave a delightful reply
December 8, 2024 at 1:36 AM
I swear to god if i see another fucking person posting with a pic of their cat or dog i will like it and possibly leave a delightful reply
Reposted by Max Miller
Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband?
Wife: he gives me no privacy
Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true
Wife: he gives me no privacy
Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true
December 16, 2024 at 9:06 PM
Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband?
Wife: he gives me no privacy
Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true
Wife: he gives me no privacy
Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true
Reposted by Max Miller
[hearing that someone has died]
oh no that guy hated dying
oh no that guy hated dying
November 1, 2023 at 12:54 PM
[hearing that someone has died]
oh no that guy hated dying
oh no that guy hated dying
Reposted by Max Miller
good job online today, everyone. i just saw all the posts
December 18, 2024 at 11:38 PM
good job online today, everyone. i just saw all the posts
Reposted by Max Miller
waiter: don’t touch the plate it’s very hot *sets plate down in the weirdest place*
November 29, 2024 at 11:30 PM
waiter: don’t touch the plate it’s very hot *sets plate down in the weirdest place*
On a scale of one to “I’ve shoved a used paper towel into my pocket rather than ask a new acquaintance where the trash is in their house”, how much of an introvert are you?
December 21, 2024 at 10:29 PM
On a scale of one to “I’ve shoved a used paper towel into my pocket rather than ask a new acquaintance where the trash is in their house”, how much of an introvert are you?
After I send an email: “Why is it taking so long for them to respond?!”
After I receive an email: “I’ll respond to this after I’ve done everything else in life.”
After I receive an email: “I’ll respond to this after I’ve done everything else in life.”
December 17, 2024 at 10:36 PM
After I send an email: “Why is it taking so long for them to respond?!”
After I receive an email: “I’ll respond to this after I’ve done everything else in life.”
After I receive an email: “I’ll respond to this after I’ve done everything else in life.”
My body at 10:45pm: Time to get some rest.
My brain: DO YOU THINK WILLY WONKA CHANGED OUT THE WALLPAPER HE LET EVERYBODY LICK OR WAS IT THE SAME WALLPAPER HE AND THE OOMPA LOOMPAS HAD BEEN SAMPLING UP UNTIL THAT POINT
My brain: DO YOU THINK WILLY WONKA CHANGED OUT THE WALLPAPER HE LET EVERYBODY LICK OR WAS IT THE SAME WALLPAPER HE AND THE OOMPA LOOMPAS HAD BEEN SAMPLING UP UNTIL THAT POINT
December 15, 2024 at 9:57 PM
My body at 10:45pm: Time to get some rest.
My brain: DO YOU THINK WILLY WONKA CHANGED OUT THE WALLPAPER HE LET EVERYBODY LICK OR WAS IT THE SAME WALLPAPER HE AND THE OOMPA LOOMPAS HAD BEEN SAMPLING UP UNTIL THAT POINT
My brain: DO YOU THINK WILLY WONKA CHANGED OUT THE WALLPAPER HE LET EVERYBODY LICK OR WAS IT THE SAME WALLPAPER HE AND THE OOMPA LOOMPAS HAD BEEN SAMPLING UP UNTIL THAT POINT
Hear me out here.
For just one year, movies have to be under 2 hours to be nominated for Best Picture.
For just one year, movies have to be under 2 hours to be nominated for Best Picture.
December 15, 2024 at 3:55 AM
Hear me out here.
For just one year, movies have to be under 2 hours to be nominated for Best Picture.
For just one year, movies have to be under 2 hours to be nominated for Best Picture.
Blurry photography?
December 14, 2024 at 8:22 PM
Blurry photography?
Reposted by Max Miller
THERAPIST: listen, I really need you to relax
ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR
ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR
November 23, 2024 at 4:52 PM
THERAPIST: listen, I really need you to relax
ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR
ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR
Reposted by Max Miller
running into your old statistics professor be like “what are the chances”
November 30, 2024 at 5:43 PM
running into your old statistics professor be like “what are the chances”