the mysterious pervert
@octopusgigolo.bsky.social
trans. gay. i will probably show you my tits if you ask politely
she/her
she/her
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
February 9, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
No Kings includes Draft Kings
February 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
No Kings includes Draft Kings
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
ENDURANCE - Have you engaged the shit compressor? This task won't permit any looseness on your part, mentally or physically…
YOU - Have you *seen* my shit recently? I've really gotten it together.
YOU - Have you *seen* my shit recently? I've really gotten it together.
February 8, 2026 at 3:15 PM
ENDURANCE - Have you engaged the shit compressor? This task won't permit any looseness on your part, mentally or physically…
YOU - Have you *seen* my shit recently? I've really gotten it together.
YOU - Have you *seen* my shit recently? I've really gotten it together.
im gonna do it
February 8, 2026 at 2:38 PM
im gonna do it
when you die on the toilet you go to either toilet hell or toilet heaven
February 7, 2026 at 1:41 PM
when you die on the toilet you go to either toilet hell or toilet heaven
I'm slurping up the carbon dioxide. I'm personally solving the climate crisis because I'm thirsty for greenhouse gasses.
February 7, 2026 at 4:32 AM
I'm slurping up the carbon dioxide. I'm personally solving the climate crisis because I'm thirsty for greenhouse gasses.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
People think the highest Michelin rating is 3 stars, but there is a hidden 4th level where the Michelin Man comes and kills everyone at your restaurant and mixes your ashes in tire rubber. Then he exalts you by wearing you around his waist for all eternity
February 7, 2026 at 3:47 AM
People think the highest Michelin rating is 3 stars, but there is a hidden 4th level where the Michelin Man comes and kills everyone at your restaurant and mixes your ashes in tire rubber. Then he exalts you by wearing you around his waist for all eternity
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
short story - “suicide vest”
February 6, 2026 at 7:53 PM
short story - “suicide vest”
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
![m@thew
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
cashier: can take your order?
me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)
November 10, 2024 at 8:13 PM](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:vzh3zzjcbamllzjadsmfooxq/bafkreihnaa3wavqhichjncrcsjpihf5q6v7kn5227d3hyfzq7x6js2xqei@jpeg)
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
Could be worse. Probably will be.
February 5, 2026 at 7:30 PM
Could be worse. Probably will be.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
Good morning! 🌅 Its "Feeling the Walls Closing In" Thursday! ➡️😨⬅️ Please panic immediately, they're onto you! 😱
January 29, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Good morning! 🌅 Its "Feeling the Walls Closing In" Thursday! ➡️😨⬅️ Please panic immediately, they're onto you! 😱
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
jc denton: paul. i've decided i'm not going to work for unatco.
paul denton: oh yeah? what's your new career, then?
jc: being the guy who makes up names for store brand sodas.
paul: hit me with your best.
jc: 'mr. flavor'.
paul, internally: god damn he's good.
paul denton: oh yeah? what's your new career, then?
jc: being the guy who makes up names for store brand sodas.
paul: hit me with your best.
jc: 'mr. flavor'.
paul, internally: god damn he's good.
March 5, 2025 at 11:38 PM
jc denton: paul. i've decided i'm not going to work for unatco.
paul denton: oh yeah? what's your new career, then?
jc: being the guy who makes up names for store brand sodas.
paul: hit me with your best.
jc: 'mr. flavor'.
paul, internally: god damn he's good.
paul denton: oh yeah? what's your new career, then?
jc: being the guy who makes up names for store brand sodas.
paul: hit me with your best.
jc: 'mr. flavor'.
paul, internally: god damn he's good.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
deus ex npc: i like goth chicks.
jc denton: are we talking bauhaus and siouxsie sioux goth or this more of a psychobilly situation. or maybe more industrial?
deus ex npc:
denton: don't tell me you don't know the difference.
deus ex npc:
deus ex npc: i like goth chicks.
denton: me too.
jc denton: are we talking bauhaus and siouxsie sioux goth or this more of a psychobilly situation. or maybe more industrial?
deus ex npc:
denton: don't tell me you don't know the difference.
deus ex npc:
deus ex npc: i like goth chicks.
denton: me too.
July 17, 2025 at 6:19 AM
deus ex npc: i like goth chicks.
jc denton: are we talking bauhaus and siouxsie sioux goth or this more of a psychobilly situation. or maybe more industrial?
deus ex npc:
denton: don't tell me you don't know the difference.
deus ex npc:
deus ex npc: i like goth chicks.
denton: me too.
jc denton: are we talking bauhaus and siouxsie sioux goth or this more of a psychobilly situation. or maybe more industrial?
deus ex npc:
denton: don't tell me you don't know the difference.
deus ex npc:
deus ex npc: i like goth chicks.
denton: me too.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
jc denton: i hear the government is even working on a penis explosion chamber.
paul: JC, i'm trying to tell you about ACTUAL conspiracies.
ELSEWHERE
bob page: how goes development of the penis explosion chamber.
illuminati scientist: we thought that was a joke.
bob page: why would it be a joke.
paul: JC, i'm trying to tell you about ACTUAL conspiracies.
ELSEWHERE
bob page: how goes development of the penis explosion chamber.
illuminati scientist: we thought that was a joke.
bob page: why would it be a joke.
August 5, 2025 at 4:54 AM
jc denton: i hear the government is even working on a penis explosion chamber.
paul: JC, i'm trying to tell you about ACTUAL conspiracies.
ELSEWHERE
bob page: how goes development of the penis explosion chamber.
illuminati scientist: we thought that was a joke.
bob page: why would it be a joke.
paul: JC, i'm trying to tell you about ACTUAL conspiracies.
ELSEWHERE
bob page: how goes development of the penis explosion chamber.
illuminati scientist: we thought that was a joke.
bob page: why would it be a joke.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
jc denton: okay. so, GOAT means 'Greatest Of All Time', and GOATED is just an extension of that. i think i get it.
paul denton: great. that only took 10 minutes.
jc: now, explain to me what 'the sauce' is.
paul:
paul, staring at the floor:
jc: i've got time.
paul: i know.
paul denton: great. that only took 10 minutes.
jc: now, explain to me what 'the sauce' is.
paul:
paul, staring at the floor:
jc: i've got time.
paul: i know.
August 17, 2025 at 12:28 AM
jc denton: okay. so, GOAT means 'Greatest Of All Time', and GOATED is just an extension of that. i think i get it.
paul denton: great. that only took 10 minutes.
jc: now, explain to me what 'the sauce' is.
paul:
paul, staring at the floor:
jc: i've got time.
paul: i know.
paul denton: great. that only took 10 minutes.
jc: now, explain to me what 'the sauce' is.
paul:
paul, staring at the floor:
jc: i've got time.
paul: i know.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
jc denton: paul. i'm gonna have the last grapefruit seltzer.
paul denton: don't do it, jc. you haven't eaten all day and will give yourself an upset stomach.
jc: you underestimate what i'm capable of.
30 MINUTES LATER
jc: paul.
paul: what is it?
jc: my tummy hurts.
paul denton: don't do it, jc. you haven't eaten all day and will give yourself an upset stomach.
jc: you underestimate what i'm capable of.
30 MINUTES LATER
jc: paul.
paul: what is it?
jc: my tummy hurts.
November 15, 2025 at 1:16 AM
jc denton: paul. i'm gonna have the last grapefruit seltzer.
paul denton: don't do it, jc. you haven't eaten all day and will give yourself an upset stomach.
jc: you underestimate what i'm capable of.
30 MINUTES LATER
jc: paul.
paul: what is it?
jc: my tummy hurts.
paul denton: don't do it, jc. you haven't eaten all day and will give yourself an upset stomach.
jc: you underestimate what i'm capable of.
30 MINUTES LATER
jc: paul.
paul: what is it?
jc: my tummy hurts.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
jc denton: water is honestly GOATed when hydration is the vibe.
jc: [doubletaps an nsf agent without hesitation]
jc:
jc: doritos and pepsi in one family night package? you might even call that snackalicious.
jc: [doubletaps an nsf agent without hesitation]
jc:
jc: doritos and pepsi in one family night package? you might even call that snackalicious.
November 20, 2025 at 6:51 PM
jc denton: water is honestly GOATed when hydration is the vibe.
jc: [doubletaps an nsf agent without hesitation]
jc:
jc: doritos and pepsi in one family night package? you might even call that snackalicious.
jc: [doubletaps an nsf agent without hesitation]
jc:
jc: doritos and pepsi in one family night package? you might even call that snackalicious.
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
jc denton: it's back. pretzel bacon pub cheeseburger. add fries and a drink.
jc:
jc: [crouches]
jc: [uncrouches]
jc: [bunnyhops to the coke freestyle]
jc:
jc:
jc: [crouches]
jc: [uncrouches]
jc: [bunnyhops to the coke freestyle]
jc:
December 6, 2025 at 3:01 AM
jc denton: it's back. pretzel bacon pub cheeseburger. add fries and a drink.
jc:
jc: [crouches]
jc: [uncrouches]
jc: [bunnyhops to the coke freestyle]
jc:
jc:
jc: [crouches]
jc: [uncrouches]
jc: [bunnyhops to the coke freestyle]
jc:
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
04 Feb 2026
February 4, 2026 at 7:58 PM
04 Feb 2026
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
An account you control, @PagliacciDaClown, has been suspended for the following post: "Who up doing clown shit, lmao? I'm thinking about ending my own life."
Our moderation policies aim to encourage healthy discourse. For an example of a user we think exemplifies this spirit, see @PagliacciDaClown
Our moderation policies aim to encourage healthy discourse. For an example of a user we think exemplifies this spirit, see @PagliacciDaClown
February 4, 2026 at 4:36 PM
An account you control, @PagliacciDaClown, has been suspended for the following post: "Who up doing clown shit, lmao? I'm thinking about ending my own life."
Our moderation policies aim to encourage healthy discourse. For an example of a user we think exemplifies this spirit, see @PagliacciDaClown
Our moderation policies aim to encourage healthy discourse. For an example of a user we think exemplifies this spirit, see @PagliacciDaClown
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
Guy who's convinced that the dogs who lose the Puppy Bowl are all put down, but tries to not let that affect his enjoyment of the game
February 3, 2026 at 1:45 PM
Guy who's convinced that the dogs who lose the Puppy Bowl are all put down, but tries to not let that affect his enjoyment of the game
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
It's not that girls are weapons, actually. It's that weapons, as objects coveted by men who view the possession and conspicuous use of them as intrinsically demonstrative of their masculinity, are a type of woman.
February 1, 2026 at 11:30 PM
It's not that girls are weapons, actually. It's that weapons, as objects coveted by men who view the possession and conspicuous use of them as intrinsically demonstrative of their masculinity, are a type of woman.
does anyone have a wedding they could invite me to. im really looking to get my wedding fix
February 3, 2026 at 2:41 AM
does anyone have a wedding they could invite me to. im really looking to get my wedding fix
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
Reposted by the mysterious pervert
No. I can't help you. That's a Western style. No one is interested in that style here. But you might try the High Elf Falanaamo. He has a shop in Caldera, and he specializes in the traditional Western styles.
February 2, 2026 at 11:30 PM
No. I can't help you. That's a Western style. No one is interested in that style here. But you might try the High Elf Falanaamo. He has a shop in Caldera, and he specializes in the traditional Western styles.