Noahconstrictor
@noahconstrictor.bsky.social
He/him
Bears, NFL, MTG, sports, metal, and whatever other nonsense I feel like posting
Bears, NFL, MTG, sports, metal, and whatever other nonsense I feel like posting
I'm going to think about this image for the rest of the week good LORD find someone that looks at you the way Ben Johnson looks at Caleb Williams
November 17, 2025 at 6:02 AM
I'm going to think about this image for the rest of the week good LORD find someone that looks at you the way Ben Johnson looks at Caleb Williams
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
NFC North standings after 11 weeks:
Bears 7-3
Packers 6-3-1
Lions 6-4
Vikings 4-6
Bears 7-3
Packers 6-3-1
Lions 6-4
Vikings 4-6
November 17, 2025 at 4:33 AM
NFC North standings after 11 weeks:
Bears 7-3
Packers 6-3-1
Lions 6-4
Vikings 4-6
Bears 7-3
Packers 6-3-1
Lions 6-4
Vikings 4-6
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Jared Goff, you can quick kick without permission, nobody can stop you
November 17, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Jared Goff, you can quick kick without permission, nobody can stop you
Gibbs is absolutely insane. How is he that fast.
November 17, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Gibbs is absolutely insane. How is he that fast.
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Bo Nix looks like one of those 50s athletes trying to sell you ovaltine
November 17, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Bo Nix looks like one of those 50s athletes trying to sell you ovaltine
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
This team, man.
Bears 19, Vikings 17
Ben Johnson gets his first division win. More to come.
Bears 19, Vikings 17
Ben Johnson gets his first division win. More to come.
November 16, 2025 at 9:03 PM
This team, man.
Bears 19, Vikings 17
Ben Johnson gets his first division win. More to come.
Bears 19, Vikings 17
Ben Johnson gets his first division win. More to come.
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/
November 16, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
How do you miss this?
November 16, 2025 at 7:51 PM
How do you miss this?
Absolutely vile missed face mask call.
November 16, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Absolutely vile missed face mask call.
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
That was a no call on the face mask in the Bears game??????
November 16, 2025 at 7:49 PM
That was a no call on the face mask in the Bears game??????
this is what I want to see from Steelers offensive players by the way, just the largest man you've ever seen bowling over some poor sap in a Bengals jersey
November 16, 2025 at 7:30 PM
this is what I want to see from Steelers offensive players by the way, just the largest man you've ever seen bowling over some poor sap in a Bengals jersey
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Y’all that INT was Nine’s fault, not JJ
November 16, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Y’all that INT was Nine’s fault, not JJ
Kyle Monangai got that dawg in him man, I love this guy
November 16, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Kyle Monangai got that dawg in him man, I love this guy
Baker Mayfield out here folding up like a pretzel, I love that man
November 16, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Baker Mayfield out here folding up like a pretzel, I love that man
Bears vs Vikings: who can overthrow more
November 16, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Bears vs Vikings: who can overthrow more
shut the fuck up you goddamn orange buffoon holy shit, how can anyone read anything this man ever says and think "yeah this is a good thing to support"
Everyone who capitulated to this guy over the last 9 months should be ridiculed mercilessly
November 16, 2025 at 6:19 PM
shut the fuck up you goddamn orange buffoon holy shit, how can anyone read anything this man ever says and think "yeah this is a good thing to support"
Oh shit, we doing a k-pop band live show after this?
November 14, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Oh shit, we doing a k-pop band live show after this?
My dad: "that punt sums up the Jets season"
November 14, 2025 at 3:39 AM
My dad: "that punt sums up the Jets season"
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Watching the Patriots
November 14, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Watching the Patriots
Really great article here. This is absolutely damning.
I went deeper into the at-bats where Luis Ortiz is accused of throwing balls on purpose.
1) These pitches didn't just compromise games. They helped flip them. Twice.
2) It's the player props, man
3) This is NOT a case where legal sports betting improved the situation slate.com/technology/2...
1) These pitches didn't just compromise games. They helped flip them. Twice.
2) It's the player props, man
3) This is NOT a case where legal sports betting improved the situation slate.com/technology/2...
A Huge Scandal Is Rocking Baseball. Here’s What Needs to Change.
The indictments of two major league pitchers are just the clearest examples yet of the scourge of the prop bet.
slate.com
November 12, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Really great article here. This is absolutely damning.
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Green Bay had two timeouts there. Why are you not using one to actually get a set play for 4th and 1? Absolutely terrible coaching job from LaFleur.
November 11, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Green Bay had two timeouts there. Why are you not using one to actually get a set play for 4th and 1? Absolutely terrible coaching job from LaFleur.
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Troy Aikman picks up his microphone
blood shoots out of every orifice
he grinds his teeth, shards of enamel slide from his gums
his blood shot eyes meet the camera
right as the anuerysm hits, he manages one sentence
"The analytics say"
blood shoots out of every orifice
he grinds his teeth, shards of enamel slide from his gums
his blood shot eyes meet the camera
right as the anuerysm hits, he manages one sentence
"The analytics say"
November 11, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Troy Aikman picks up his microphone
blood shoots out of every orifice
he grinds his teeth, shards of enamel slide from his gums
his blood shot eyes meet the camera
right as the anuerysm hits, he manages one sentence
"The analytics say"
blood shoots out of every orifice
he grinds his teeth, shards of enamel slide from his gums
his blood shot eyes meet the camera
right as the anuerysm hits, he manages one sentence
"The analytics say"
Reposted by Noahconstrictor
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
November 10, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage