Cool Garfield is ONLINE
@mtvzach.bsky.social
Im the CEO of Garfield.
I fucking hate the associated press style book
I fucking hate the associated press style book
This place needs an algorithm and a sense of humor
October 15, 2025 at 9:51 PM
This place needs an algorithm and a sense of humor
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
WAIT A MINUTE THEYRE DOING IT FOR REPUBLICANS? THEYRE NOT EVEN FEEDING MEMBERS OF THEIR COMMUNITY THEYRE JUST PUTTING A TACO TRUCK OUTSIDE AND GOING "THAT OUGHTA DO IT" GOD DAMN IT I HATE THESE STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUST HELP SOMEBODY LITERALLY ANYONE
Under communism, everyone would get free tacos, not just Republicans like under the Democrats
June 3, 2025 at 4:23 PM
WAIT A MINUTE THEYRE DOING IT FOR REPUBLICANS? THEYRE NOT EVEN FEEDING MEMBERS OF THEIR COMMUNITY THEYRE JUST PUTTING A TACO TRUCK OUTSIDE AND GOING "THAT OUGHTA DO IT" GOD DAMN IT I HATE THESE STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUST HELP SOMEBODY LITERALLY ANYONE
This is the best part about being in your 30s.
A lot of you are ungrateful
A lot of you are ungrateful
i don’t understand when my fellow thirtysomethings panic about no longer understanding what the kids like and how they dress. the most perfect serenity ever devised by man or heaven is within reach and you’re pushing it away with both hands
May 15, 2025 at 6:12 PM
This is the best part about being in your 30s.
A lot of you are ungrateful
A lot of you are ungrateful
Every time I remember this site exists I wanna put a nerd in a locker
May 15, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Every time I remember this site exists I wanna put a nerd in a locker
I’m still on Twitter bc nobody on this app has any fun
April 8, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I’m still on Twitter bc nobody on this app has any fun
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
What kendrick did to drake, I need bill burr to do to ben shapiro comedically and professionally
February 28, 2025 at 12:12 AM
What kendrick did to drake, I need bill burr to do to ben shapiro comedically and professionally
🎶"shes got weeeed, and she knows how to smoke ittt"🎶
February 19, 2025 at 7:05 PM
🎶"shes got weeeed, and she knows how to smoke ittt"🎶
just invented a new depression treatment called "ZZ Top Therapy" where i smoke a joint and blast my skull with ZZ Top songs as loud as my headphones will go
February 19, 2025 at 6:51 PM
just invented a new depression treatment called "ZZ Top Therapy" where i smoke a joint and blast my skull with ZZ Top songs as loud as my headphones will go
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
digimon fan who's never heard of a werewolf watching horror movies: oh my god he's turning into some sort of WereGarurumon
November 7, 2024 at 8:09 PM
digimon fan who's never heard of a werewolf watching horror movies: oh my god he's turning into some sort of WereGarurumon
How mylo treats me minutes after I just fed him
February 19, 2025 at 6:04 AM
How mylo treats me minutes after I just fed him
Would kill to be down like 25 lbs rn
February 19, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Would kill to be down like 25 lbs rn
There’s still time
I’ve lowkey avoided crashing out on main really well this year. You guys should be proud of me
February 15, 2025 at 7:05 PM
There’s still time
Men only want one thing and it’s fucking delicious
February 14, 2025 at 8:18 AM
Men only want one thing and it’s fucking delicious
I’ve lowkey avoided crashing out on main really well this year. You guys should be proud of me
February 13, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I’ve lowkey avoided crashing out on main really well this year. You guys should be proud of me
Gonna shoot myself in the face if sound soup doesn’t ask me to do a fucking album list
February 12, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Gonna shoot myself in the face if sound soup doesn’t ask me to do a fucking album list
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
i have dug the arrow out of my back. I am picking back up the weapon that put it there. i am on petfinder. i am looking at the sweetest of faces. i am nocking another arrow, and i am aiming it at myself. i am emailing the adoption counselor
February 11, 2025 at 10:05 PM
i have dug the arrow out of my back. I am picking back up the weapon that put it there. i am on petfinder. i am looking at the sweetest of faces. i am nocking another arrow, and i am aiming it at myself. i am emailing the adoption counselor
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
having a pet is so fucking stupid. you're just pre-purchasing yourself the worst pain you'll ever feel in your life and we just keep doing it, like idiots, because the only thing worse than losing them is never having them at all
February 11, 2025 at 9:29 PM
having a pet is so fucking stupid. you're just pre-purchasing yourself the worst pain you'll ever feel in your life and we just keep doing it, like idiots, because the only thing worse than losing them is never having them at all
This is why games like Marvel Rivals and Balatro are so popular. There’s no bullshit to get to the gameplay
i play a lot of games hacked or with cheats and it's really striking how little actual Game there is in most games once you take out the constant slog of busywork they force you to do
February 8, 2025 at 9:06 PM
This is why games like Marvel Rivals and Balatro are so popular. There’s no bullshit to get to the gameplay
Been posting on ig stories less to seem more mysterious do you guys think it’s working?
February 7, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Been posting on ig stories less to seem more mysterious do you guys think it’s working?
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
No, it’s Trump’s fault, and the fault of his army of Nazi bigots, who explicitly build their politics around tormenting the weak for fun. Trans people were simply the most vulnerable target. After they’re gone any of you might be next. None of this repulsive apologia, fight back
February 6, 2025 at 6:13 PM
No, it’s Trump’s fault, and the fault of his army of Nazi bigots, who explicitly build their politics around tormenting the weak for fun. Trans people were simply the most vulnerable target. After they’re gone any of you might be next. None of this repulsive apologia, fight back
dont worry about it too much, but we're working on something
February 5, 2025 at 5:51 AM
dont worry about it too much, but we're working on something
Reposted by Cool Garfield is ONLINE
it’s definitely easier to destroy shit than build something but i don’t think i’ll ever stop thinking about how we were told biden couldn’t do anything at all, ever, while elon musk and donald trump run around like rats gnawing on cables stopping the governments functionality completely
February 4, 2025 at 5:35 PM
it’s definitely easier to destroy shit than build something but i don’t think i’ll ever stop thinking about how we were told biden couldn’t do anything at all, ever, while elon musk and donald trump run around like rats gnawing on cables stopping the governments functionality completely
Cookie Monster would never say this… like 😏
[cookie monster quietly to himself just before going on camera]
it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job
[camera rolls]
(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE
it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job
[camera rolls]
(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE
February 1, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Cookie Monster would never say this… like 😏