Mrs Tales
@mrstales.bsky.social
• The thinking person's crumpet 😘
• Neurodivergent OCD fighter
• 50 y/o bbw, poly, enm ♾️🍍, bi-playful and demi, UK-based
• https://linktr.ee/MrsTales - for my NGL and other stuff!
• Sometimes nsfw. 🔞
• Neurodivergent OCD fighter
• 50 y/o bbw, poly, enm ♾️🍍, bi-playful and demi, UK-based
• https://linktr.ee/MrsTales - for my NGL and other stuff!
• Sometimes nsfw. 🔞
Pinned
Mrs Tales
@mrstales.bsky.social
· Nov 24
My kinks?
- trust
- respect
- chemistry
- an open, sexy mind
and
- a sense of humour.
I know, I know...
I'm *really* fucking perverted! 😈
- trust
- respect
- chemistry
- an open, sexy mind
and
- a sense of humour.
I know, I know...
I'm *really* fucking perverted! 😈
So...I don't have a boob pic for you today.
But you are going to *love* tomorrow!
But you are going to *love* tomorrow!
February 10, 2026 at 10:56 PM
So...I don't have a boob pic for you today.
But you are going to *love* tomorrow!
But you are going to *love* tomorrow!
The second guy here is hot as fuck.
Be that guy.
Be that guy.
Humans are just weird bags of flesh and rocks and liquid and self-doubt. Helping someone feel comfortable in your bedroom is more important than how you have sex.
NEW blog: blood on the bedsheets, and banishing shame.
www.girlonthenet.com/blog/blood-b...
Fabulous art by @stuartcb.bsky.social
NEW blog: blood on the bedsheets, and banishing shame.
www.girlonthenet.com/blog/blood-b...
Fabulous art by @stuartcb.bsky.social
February 10, 2026 at 10:17 PM
The second guy here is hot as fuck.
Be that guy.
Be that guy.
We have both Valentine's Day and Pancake Day coming up very soon - which are you looking forward to more, and why? 😊
February 10, 2026 at 12:55 PM
We have both Valentine's Day and Pancake Day coming up very soon - which are you looking forward to more, and why? 😊
I was all for this until I got to the "rampaging bull" part.
Though a bull 😈 rather than a bull 🐮 could be fun...🤔☺️
Though a bull 😈 rather than a bull 🐮 could be fun...🤔☺️
The "Death of Dirce" depicts the story of two brothers strapping Dirce, a queen of Thebes to a rampaging bull, as punishment for her being mean to their mum 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums
1906, Charles Lawes-Wittewronge, outside @tate.bsky.social @artukdotorg.bsky.social 😁
1906, Charles Lawes-Wittewronge, outside @tate.bsky.social @artukdotorg.bsky.social 😁
February 10, 2026 at 7:39 AM
I was all for this until I got to the "rampaging bull" part.
Though a bull 😈 rather than a bull 🐮 could be fun...🤔☺️
Though a bull 😈 rather than a bull 🐮 could be fun...🤔☺️
You know it's been a good weekend when your brain is so fried by sex, you can't remember how many orgasms you had...😍
(B/W photo also provided for #MonochromeMonday)
(B/W photo also provided for #MonochromeMonday)
February 9, 2026 at 5:55 PM
You know it's been a good weekend when your brain is so fried by sex, you can't remember how many orgasms you had...😍
(B/W photo also provided for #MonochromeMonday)
(B/W photo also provided for #MonochromeMonday)
Cannot browse the timeline because you've all got your willies out!
Not that *I'm* complaining but my fellow British Rail passengers tend not to approve of such Priapian displays. 😏
Not that *I'm* complaining but my fellow British Rail passengers tend not to approve of such Priapian displays. 😏
February 7, 2026 at 8:42 AM
Cannot browse the timeline because you've all got your willies out!
Not that *I'm* complaining but my fellow British Rail passengers tend not to approve of such Priapian displays. 😏
Not that *I'm* complaining but my fellow British Rail passengers tend not to approve of such Priapian displays. 😏
On the train to heading to the West Country (and straight into a weather warning for wetness - insert own joke here) for escape room shenanigans during the day and decidedly more, ahem, *restrained* ⛓️😈 shenanigans overnight.
If feeling pretty, might take photos. 😉
Plus aquatic art!
Busy day!
If feeling pretty, might take photos. 😉
Plus aquatic art!
Busy day!
February 7, 2026 at 8:29 AM
On the train to heading to the West Country (and straight into a weather warning for wetness - insert own joke here) for escape room shenanigans during the day and decidedly more, ahem, *restrained* ⛓️😈 shenanigans overnight.
If feeling pretty, might take photos. 😉
Plus aquatic art!
Busy day!
If feeling pretty, might take photos. 😉
Plus aquatic art!
Busy day!
NGL: I want to apologise for leaving so many likes ❤️
Never apologise for that - we all thrive on those little drops of dopamine here!
Never apologise for that - we all thrive on those little drops of dopamine here!
February 6, 2026 at 11:13 PM
NGL: I want to apologise for leaving so many likes ❤️
Never apologise for that - we all thrive on those little drops of dopamine here!
Never apologise for that - we all thrive on those little drops of dopamine here!
February 6, 2026 at 10:35 PM
NGL: Are u single? What country town city u from
If you had attention to detail, you'd already know my answers to these questions. And attention to detail is *so* important in a lover, don't you think? 😏
If you had attention to detail, you'd already know my answers to these questions. And attention to detail is *so* important in a lover, don't you think? 😏
February 6, 2026 at 9:13 PM
NGL: Are u single? What country town city u from
If you had attention to detail, you'd already know my answers to these questions. And attention to detail is *so* important in a lover, don't you think? 😏
If you had attention to detail, you'd already know my answers to these questions. And attention to detail is *so* important in a lover, don't you think? 😏
NGL: Would you rather flirt or be chased?
Why choose? The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Why choose? The two aren't mutually exclusive.
February 6, 2026 at 9:10 PM
NGL: Would you rather flirt or be chased?
Why choose? The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Why choose? The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Another NGL: Have you ever had, or would you be willing to have, a bi mm threesome where the guys play together and with you as well?
Never had but would be interested in having. That said, having an mfm where *I'm* the centre of attention is pretty much the top of my To Do list.
Never had but would be interested in having. That said, having an mfm where *I'm* the centre of attention is pretty much the top of my To Do list.
February 6, 2026 at 9:06 PM
Another NGL: Have you ever had, or would you be willing to have, a bi mm threesome where the guys play together and with you as well?
Never had but would be interested in having. That said, having an mfm where *I'm* the centre of attention is pretty much the top of my To Do list.
Never had but would be interested in having. That said, having an mfm where *I'm* the centre of attention is pretty much the top of my To Do list.
NGL: Where can I see the sexiest pics of u as u r amazing
Hmm, they would be on my lovers' phones...for their eyes only, I'm afraid!
Hmm, they would be on my lovers' phones...for their eyes only, I'm afraid!
February 6, 2026 at 8:52 PM
NGL: Where can I see the sexiest pics of u as u r amazing
Hmm, they would be on my lovers' phones...for their eyes only, I'm afraid!
Hmm, they would be on my lovers' phones...for their eyes only, I'm afraid!
February 6, 2026 at 8:37 PM
I think I forgot to mention it, but as of a few weeks ago, I'm no longer a redhead.
Gone back to brunette.
Problem?
Am missing the red a bit, have to admit...
Gone back to brunette.
Problem?
Am missing the red a bit, have to admit...
February 6, 2026 at 8:30 PM
I think I forgot to mention it, but as of a few weeks ago, I'm no longer a redhead.
Gone back to brunette.
Problem?
Am missing the red a bit, have to admit...
Gone back to brunette.
Problem?
Am missing the red a bit, have to admit...
No longer home alone & Bridgerton has given way to the Winter Olympics opening ceremony.
Ah well.
I have fun plans for the weekend though - horror escape room w/ friends (may go v. v. wrong!), swimming under a celestial art installation and Hotel du Vin for some salacious sex...😈
What about you?
Ah well.
I have fun plans for the weekend though - horror escape room w/ friends (may go v. v. wrong!), swimming under a celestial art installation and Hotel du Vin for some salacious sex...😈
What about you?
February 6, 2026 at 8:14 PM
No longer home alone & Bridgerton has given way to the Winter Olympics opening ceremony.
Ah well.
I have fun plans for the weekend though - horror escape room w/ friends (may go v. v. wrong!), swimming under a celestial art installation and Hotel du Vin for some salacious sex...😈
What about you?
Ah well.
I have fun plans for the weekend though - horror escape room w/ friends (may go v. v. wrong!), swimming under a celestial art installation and Hotel du Vin for some salacious sex...😈
What about you?
Reposted by Mrs Tales
Context: this speech is from SIR THOMAS MORE, a history written, as near as scholars can tell, in the early 1600s by 6 or 7 people including Dekker, Heywood, Chettle, Shakespeare, and Munday.
It was never performed, because Jacobean England was a police state and it was banned by the censor.
It was never performed, because Jacobean England was a police state and it was banned by the censor.
Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again.
#Pinks #ProudBlue
#Pinks #ProudBlue
February 5, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Context: this speech is from SIR THOMAS MORE, a history written, as near as scholars can tell, in the early 1600s by 6 or 7 people including Dekker, Heywood, Chettle, Shakespeare, and Munday.
It was never performed, because Jacobean England was a police state and it was banned by the censor.
It was never performed, because Jacobean England was a police state and it was banned by the censor.
Reposted by Mrs Tales
The Olympics lost all value when they stopped competitive poetry. They have been on a downwards slide for a long time. They know how to fix it.
February 5, 2026 at 10:55 PM
The Olympics lost all value when they stopped competitive poetry. They have been on a downwards slide for a long time. They know how to fix it.
Fortunately, I don't have that issue... 🍆😉
February 5, 2026 at 11:54 PM
Fortunately, I don't have that issue... 🍆😉
Reposted by Mrs Tales
HERB RITTS (1952–2002)
Headless Male Nude
Hollywood, 1988
Headless Male Nude
Hollywood, 1988
February 5, 2026 at 7:16 PM
HERB RITTS (1952–2002)
Headless Male Nude
Hollywood, 1988
Headless Male Nude
Hollywood, 1988
Reposted by Mrs Tales
Two important things:
1) after tomorrow the sun will not set before 5pm again in the UK…until October
2) if you’re struggling just now *please* be kind to yourself
1) after tomorrow the sun will not set before 5pm again in the UK…until October
2) if you’re struggling just now *please* be kind to yourself
February 5, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Two important things:
1) after tomorrow the sun will not set before 5pm again in the UK…until October
2) if you’re struggling just now *please* be kind to yourself
1) after tomorrow the sun will not set before 5pm again in the UK…until October
2) if you’re struggling just now *please* be kind to yourself
I'm so glad that Violet is finally getting some D.
Am home alone parenting tomorrow night, so have a TV appointment to binge watch Bridgerton.
Will doubtless be feral afterwards and particularly susceptible to beautiful women in corsets and rakes in tight breeches.
Am home alone parenting tomorrow night, so have a TV appointment to binge watch Bridgerton.
Will doubtless be feral afterwards and particularly susceptible to beautiful women in corsets and rakes in tight breeches.
a man and a woman are sitting next to each other with netflix written on the bottom right
ALT: a man and a woman are sitting next to each other with netflix written on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
February 5, 2026 at 9:21 PM
I'm so glad that Violet is finally getting some D.
Am home alone parenting tomorrow night, so have a TV appointment to binge watch Bridgerton.
Will doubtless be feral afterwards and particularly susceptible to beautiful women in corsets and rakes in tight breeches.
Am home alone parenting tomorrow night, so have a TV appointment to binge watch Bridgerton.
Will doubtless be feral afterwards and particularly susceptible to beautiful women in corsets and rakes in tight breeches.
One for my To Do list...
More #AudioPorn from the archive...
I'd completely forgotten I did/wrote this, but you should all try it cos it's fucking awesome www.girlonthenet.com/blog/rubber-...
I'd completely forgotten I did/wrote this, but you should all try it cos it's fucking awesome www.girlonthenet.com/blog/rubber-...
Weird sex tips: the Rubber Hand Illusion of fucking | Girl on the Net
Possibly the weirdest sex tip I know. You'll need: a partner, some excellent porn, and a sense of adventure. This is the Rubber Hand Illusion of fucking.
www.girlonthenet.com
February 4, 2026 at 10:28 PM
One for my To Do list...
Reposted by Mrs Tales
Reposted by Mrs Tales
New set, who dis? 💋
February 4, 2026 at 6:20 PM
New set, who dis? 💋