moss
@mosstalgia.bsky.social
part-time writer, full time procrastinator.
“If that cat shits in my van, you’re gonna new a new cat.”
He’s not even our cat! 😭
…But he’s now locked up in the pool room where he (is safe and) can’t try to steal the builder’s van again.
He’s not even our cat! 😭
…But he’s now locked up in the pool room where he (is safe and) can’t try to steal the builder’s van again.
May 26, 2025 at 11:15 AM
“If that cat shits in my van, you’re gonna new a new cat.”
He’s not even our cat! 😭
…But he’s now locked up in the pool room where he (is safe and) can’t try to steal the builder’s van again.
He’s not even our cat! 😭
…But he’s now locked up in the pool room where he (is safe and) can’t try to steal the builder’s van again.
Who else saw this and assumed it was a prequel for Brokeback Mountain?
(...I saw it at a distance and couldn't read the names or make out the faces very well.)
(...I saw it at a distance and couldn't read the names or make out the faces very well.)
May 11, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Who else saw this and assumed it was a prequel for Brokeback Mountain?
(...I saw it at a distance and couldn't read the names or make out the faces very well.)
(...I saw it at a distance and couldn't read the names or make out the faces very well.)
A reminder for all Ireland/UK people: IT’S NOT MOTHER’S DAY THERE. Ours was back in March. Yes, you did already have it this year. You have not forgotten. You are not in trouble. There is no need for distress.
May 11, 2025 at 12:32 PM
A reminder for all Ireland/UK people: IT’S NOT MOTHER’S DAY THERE. Ours was back in March. Yes, you did already have it this year. You have not forgotten. You are not in trouble. There is no need for distress.
“I really miss winter, rain, and grey skies.”
If kidnapped, what would you post that would alarm your followers without the kidnappers knowing you're asking for help?
"I'm thinking about buying a Tesla."
"I'm thinking about buying a Tesla."
If kidnapped, what would you post that would alarm your followers without the kidnappers knowing you're asking for help?
"Sorry I can't talk right now I'm getting a Brazilian wax"
"Sorry I can't talk right now I'm getting a Brazilian wax"
May 11, 2025 at 12:28 PM
“I really miss winter, rain, and grey skies.”
Google Maps desperately needs a “this road is ass; stop suggesting it to me” feature.
Maybe there are more potholes than road. Maybe your ex lives there. Maybe it’s where the scary clown hangs out. Maybe the police are there a lot. (Maybe those last three are the same guy.)
Whatever.
WE NEED IT.
Maybe there are more potholes than road. Maybe your ex lives there. Maybe it’s where the scary clown hangs out. Maybe the police are there a lot. (Maybe those last three are the same guy.)
Whatever.
WE NEED IT.
May 2, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Google Maps desperately needs a “this road is ass; stop suggesting it to me” feature.
Maybe there are more potholes than road. Maybe your ex lives there. Maybe it’s where the scary clown hangs out. Maybe the police are there a lot. (Maybe those last three are the same guy.)
Whatever.
WE NEED IT.
Maybe there are more potholes than road. Maybe your ex lives there. Maybe it’s where the scary clown hangs out. Maybe the police are there a lot. (Maybe those last three are the same guy.)
Whatever.
WE NEED IT.
Me: I would like a waterproof keyboard so I could type stuff in the pool
Me, thirty seconds later, realising what other uses a “waterproof keyboard” could have: …Oh wow I have utterly fucked my recommendations in perpetuity, huh.
Me, thirty seconds later, realising what other uses a “waterproof keyboard” could have: …Oh wow I have utterly fucked my recommendations in perpetuity, huh.
May 1, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Me: I would like a waterproof keyboard so I could type stuff in the pool
Me, thirty seconds later, realising what other uses a “waterproof keyboard” could have: …Oh wow I have utterly fucked my recommendations in perpetuity, huh.
Me, thirty seconds later, realising what other uses a “waterproof keyboard” could have: …Oh wow I have utterly fucked my recommendations in perpetuity, huh.
Ten doesn’t seem like that many fingers until they are all covered in plaster and need every millimetre scrubbing individually.
April 30, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Ten doesn’t seem like that many fingers until they are all covered in plaster and need every millimetre scrubbing individually.
My mother tried to throw out my second best mop head, so I had to explain that they operate on a maiden/mother/crone lifecycle that cannot be interrupted.
I am pretty sure she is considering calling the police.
I am pretty sure she is considering calling the police.
April 12, 2025 at 11:39 PM
My mother tried to throw out my second best mop head, so I had to explain that they operate on a maiden/mother/crone lifecycle that cannot be interrupted.
I am pretty sure she is considering calling the police.
I am pretty sure she is considering calling the police.
The builder, looking at the broken toilet that can’t be fixed tonight: Oh, well. Shit happens.
Me: If it didn’t, we wouldn’t need toilets.
I’ve peaked, it’s all downhill from here.
Me: If it didn’t, we wouldn’t need toilets.
I’ve peaked, it’s all downhill from here.
March 27, 2025 at 3:42 PM
The builder, looking at the broken toilet that can’t be fixed tonight: Oh, well. Shit happens.
Me: If it didn’t, we wouldn’t need toilets.
I’ve peaked, it’s all downhill from here.
Me: If it didn’t, we wouldn’t need toilets.
I’ve peaked, it’s all downhill from here.
I always wonder if cats have the concept of hands vs. feet. When I pet the cat with my foot because my hands are clean/busy, does he consider it different?
"Oh, I'm getting the floor paw now, huh? Your sandwich is more important than I am? I see how it is."
"Oh, I'm getting the floor paw now, huh? Your sandwich is more important than I am? I see how it is."
March 21, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I always wonder if cats have the concept of hands vs. feet. When I pet the cat with my foot because my hands are clean/busy, does he consider it different?
"Oh, I'm getting the floor paw now, huh? Your sandwich is more important than I am? I see how it is."
"Oh, I'm getting the floor paw now, huh? Your sandwich is more important than I am? I see how it is."
Yes, cancelling plans is like crack, but you ever get into a thread on Reddit where the other person is posting the most unhinged takes so you look up their profile to reassure yourself that the problem isn't you and it turns out that problem is VERY MUCH not you? That shit is heroin.
March 19, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Yes, cancelling plans is like crack, but you ever get into a thread on Reddit where the other person is posting the most unhinged takes so you look up their profile to reassure yourself that the problem isn't you and it turns out that problem is VERY MUCH not you? That shit is heroin.
There are two types of people in the world when you are given a box of chocolates: those who eat the ones they don't like first to get them out of the way, and those who eat their favourite first to enjoy them immediately. Which kind are you?
March 13, 2025 at 8:37 PM
There are two types of people in the world when you are given a box of chocolates: those who eat the ones they don't like first to get them out of the way, and those who eat their favourite first to enjoy them immediately. Which kind are you?
You ever send a message that reads completely unhinged, but makes perfect sense with context?
March 9, 2025 at 11:46 PM
You ever send a message that reads completely unhinged, but makes perfect sense with context?
You ever see a meme and just be like, "Oh, wow, this is a personal attack tailor made for me...!"
March 9, 2025 at 1:54 AM
You ever see a meme and just be like, "Oh, wow, this is a personal attack tailor made for me...!"
My mom is telling about a cochineal farm and has said the word “Beetlejuice” so often I lost count and now I don’t know if he’s here or get sent back and it’s mad stressful.
March 7, 2025 at 3:08 PM
My mom is telling about a cochineal farm and has said the word “Beetlejuice” so often I lost count and now I don’t know if he’s here or get sent back and it’s mad stressful.
"How would you rate your general anxiety level?"
Thirty minutes ago I closed the Chat GPT tab without thanking it, and I still feel guilty, so... Whatever that goes on the scale is where I'm at.
Thirty minutes ago I closed the Chat GPT tab without thanking it, and I still feel guilty, so... Whatever that goes on the scale is where I'm at.
March 5, 2025 at 9:47 PM
"How would you rate your general anxiety level?"
Thirty minutes ago I closed the Chat GPT tab without thanking it, and I still feel guilty, so... Whatever that goes on the scale is where I'm at.
Thirty minutes ago I closed the Chat GPT tab without thanking it, and I still feel guilty, so... Whatever that goes on the scale is where I'm at.
Coming up with character names as an adult is hard, because it’s like:
Can’t use that; that’s my accountant’s name. That’s my lawyer. My crappy old supervisor. My cousin. Cousin’s kid. Kid’s dog.
I miss when I only knew like 12 guys, and 6 of them were named Jim.
Can’t use that; that’s my accountant’s name. That’s my lawyer. My crappy old supervisor. My cousin. Cousin’s kid. Kid’s dog.
I miss when I only knew like 12 guys, and 6 of them were named Jim.
March 1, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Coming up with character names as an adult is hard, because it’s like:
Can’t use that; that’s my accountant’s name. That’s my lawyer. My crappy old supervisor. My cousin. Cousin’s kid. Kid’s dog.
I miss when I only knew like 12 guys, and 6 of them were named Jim.
Can’t use that; that’s my accountant’s name. That’s my lawyer. My crappy old supervisor. My cousin. Cousin’s kid. Kid’s dog.
I miss when I only knew like 12 guys, and 6 of them were named Jim.
Personally, I would just like a quick guide to making connections on BlueSky when you’re Insufficiently American to retweet yourself without expiring from self-consciousness.
What’s your current social media strategy?
Did I have a strategy? 🤔
Did I have a strategy? 🤔
February 25, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Personally, I would just like a quick guide to making connections on BlueSky when you’re Insufficiently American to retweet yourself without expiring from self-consciousness.
Nobody:
Absolutely fucking nobody:
Not one single person:
The neighbour’s cat: So, a great way to add excitement and liveliness to a kitchen is to drop a lizard in it–
Absolutely fucking nobody:
Not one single person:
The neighbour’s cat: So, a great way to add excitement and liveliness to a kitchen is to drop a lizard in it–
February 25, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Nobody:
Absolutely fucking nobody:
Not one single person:
The neighbour’s cat: So, a great way to add excitement and liveliness to a kitchen is to drop a lizard in it–
Absolutely fucking nobody:
Not one single person:
The neighbour’s cat: So, a great way to add excitement and liveliness to a kitchen is to drop a lizard in it–
Tales from the grocery store: saw a man’s soul leave his body as he watched the full carton of quail eggs he’d just paid for smash at his feet, one meter from the checkout.
He’ll never financially recover from this.
He’ll never financially recover from this.
February 25, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Tales from the grocery store: saw a man’s soul leave his body as he watched the full carton of quail eggs he’d just paid for smash at his feet, one meter from the checkout.
He’ll never financially recover from this.
He’ll never financially recover from this.
I have come to the end of the stuff I was editing, and now I have to *write* again.
God damn it all to hell.
God damn it all to hell.
February 25, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I have come to the end of the stuff I was editing, and now I have to *write* again.
God damn it all to hell.
God damn it all to hell.
Also high on the Fantastic Feelings list: you’re reading back over old work you have no memory of, just like, “Wow, this is amazing, this solves loads of problems. This is great shit, who wrote all this?!”
And unless you have elves (I don’t have elves), the answer is…
“Me. I wrote all this.”
And unless you have elves (I don’t have elves), the answer is…
“Me. I wrote all this.”
February 24, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Also high on the Fantastic Feelings list: you’re reading back over old work you have no memory of, just like, “Wow, this is amazing, this solves loads of problems. This is great shit, who wrote all this?!”
And unless you have elves (I don’t have elves), the answer is…
“Me. I wrote all this.”
And unless you have elves (I don’t have elves), the answer is…
“Me. I wrote all this.”
Top tier writer experiences: leaving something you’ve written to sit for so long that you can proof it with an editor’s mind instead of an author’s.
Bliss.
Bliss.
February 18, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Top tier writer experiences: leaving something you’ve written to sit for so long that you can proof it with an editor’s mind instead of an author’s.
Bliss.
Bliss.
When the cat is pissed off with me, he’ll go lie in front of the door to the gym.
“If you don’t have time for me, you don’t have time for this. Oh, you weren’t going in anyway? Wow. You lazy prick. I’m embarrassed for you.”
Which is a lot of attitude from a guy who sleeps 20 hours a day.
“If you don’t have time for me, you don’t have time for this. Oh, you weren’t going in anyway? Wow. You lazy prick. I’m embarrassed for you.”
Which is a lot of attitude from a guy who sleeps 20 hours a day.
February 14, 2025 at 5:15 PM
When the cat is pissed off with me, he’ll go lie in front of the door to the gym.
“If you don’t have time for me, you don’t have time for this. Oh, you weren’t going in anyway? Wow. You lazy prick. I’m embarrassed for you.”
Which is a lot of attitude from a guy who sleeps 20 hours a day.
“If you don’t have time for me, you don’t have time for this. Oh, you weren’t going in anyway? Wow. You lazy prick. I’m embarrassed for you.”
Which is a lot of attitude from a guy who sleeps 20 hours a day.