@morganc14.bsky.social
Incident response nerd, imposter chasing the syndrome. He/him.
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“Oh, what a crock-load of mierda—¿qué?—¿qué está pasando? ” said local 43-year-old Randy Hance
Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance (‘¡Dios Mío!’ Cry Millions Of Panicking Republicans)
BOISE, ID—Crying out “¡Dios mío!” and “¡Ayúdame!” as soon as they heard the opening notes of the Puerto Rican superstar’s “EoO,” millions of terrified conservatives reportedly lost the ability to spea...
theonion.com
February 9, 2026 at 7:40 PM
“Oh, what a crock-load of mierda—¿qué?—¿qué está pasando? ” said local 43-year-old Randy Hance
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I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
February 9, 2026 at 2:11 AM
I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
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Conservatives Outraged Super Bowl Happening In Foreign City Of Santa Clara
Conservatives Outraged Super Bowl Happening In Foreign City Of Santa Clara
WASHINGTON—Infuriated at the sullying of a cherished American tradition, angry conservatives across the country vented their outrage Friday over this weekend’s Super Bowl being held in the foreign cit...
theonion.com
February 8, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Conservatives Outraged Super Bowl Happening In Foreign City Of Santa Clara
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Scientists Confirm Shingleback Lizards Only Reptiles That Mate For Sake Of Aging Mothers https://theonion.com/scientists-confirm-shingleback-lizards-only-reptiles-that-mate-for-sake-of-aging-mothers/
February 8, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Scientists Confirm Shingleback Lizards Only Reptiles That Mate For Sake Of Aging Mothers https://theonion.com/scientists-confirm-shingleback-lizards-only-reptiles-that-mate-for-sake-of-aging-mothers/
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My goal as a parent was always to raise better men than me
I just received a video from one son of my other son juggling dildos outside the Whipple Building
There are many things I could have done better but I can't really argue with the results
I just received a video from one son of my other son juggling dildos outside the Whipple Building
There are many things I could have done better but I can't really argue with the results
February 7, 2026 at 6:34 PM
My goal as a parent was always to raise better men than me
I just received a video from one son of my other son juggling dildos outside the Whipple Building
There are many things I could have done better but I can't really argue with the results
I just received a video from one son of my other son juggling dildos outside the Whipple Building
There are many things I could have done better but I can't really argue with the results
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An opinion I pretty firmly hold is that everyone should make a song, paint a painting, act in something, and write a book even if all of those things end up being objectively terrible
February 8, 2026 at 5:41 AM
An opinion I pretty firmly hold is that everyone should make a song, paint a painting, act in something, and write a book even if all of those things end up being objectively terrible
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Hang it in the Louvre
February 7, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Hang it in the Louvre
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Amazing photos here
At Whipple where expired dicks are being thrown at ICE vehicles and those believed to be agitators. The area has been a place of protest since thousands of federal agents arrived in the city.
Near Minneapolis February 7, 2026
Near Minneapolis February 7, 2026
February 7, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Amazing photos here
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the Spectator accidentally recycled a subhed from a previous day’s article about Tehran
February 6, 2026 at 6:07 PM
the Spectator accidentally recycled a subhed from a previous day’s article about Tehran
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Community Leather Coat Drive Helps Bad Boys In Need https://theonion.com/community-leather-coat-drive-helps-bad-boys-in-need/
February 6, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Community Leather Coat Drive Helps Bad Boys In Need https://theonion.com/community-leather-coat-drive-helps-bad-boys-in-need/
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Scotland has passed a law that all new buildings must install ‘swift bricks’ which are hollowed out bricks to help nesting swifts and other endangered birds! Swifts are especially endangered because so many chimneys now have chimney caps. Swifts return to the same nesting spot year after year.
February 6, 2026 at 3:01 AM
Scotland has passed a law that all new buildings must install ‘swift bricks’ which are hollowed out bricks to help nesting swifts and other endangered birds! Swifts are especially endangered because so many chimneys now have chimney caps. Swifts return to the same nesting spot year after year.
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Olympic Torch Followed By Thousands Of Wailing, Black-Shawled Italian Women https://theonion.com/olympic-torch-followed-by-thousands-of-wailing-black-shawled-italian-women/
February 6, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Olympic Torch Followed By Thousands Of Wailing, Black-Shawled Italian Women https://theonion.com/olympic-torch-followed-by-thousands-of-wailing-black-shawled-italian-women/
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Today's newsletter is my take on Bezos' gutting of the Washington Post and what I think his goal is with all of this: www.readtpa.com/p/jeff-bezos...
Jeff Bezos Gutted the Newsroom. He Kept the Megaphone.
Bezos didn’t abandon the Washington Post. He just decided which part of it he wanted.
www.readtpa.com
February 6, 2026 at 7:04 PM
Today's newsletter is my take on Bezos' gutting of the Washington Post and what I think his goal is with all of this: www.readtpa.com/p/jeff-bezos...
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Props to NPR for leading the newscast w/ the president's racist post. But, c'mon...they're not false narratives. They're lies. Words matter (Once again, don't give me the 'but we don't know what he knows or is thinking.')
February 6, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Props to NPR for leading the newscast w/ the president's racist post. But, c'mon...they're not false narratives. They're lies. Words matter (Once again, don't give me the 'but we don't know what he knows or is thinking.')
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Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading https://theonion.com/trove-of-emails-about-pedophilia-reignites-nations-love-of-reading/
February 5, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading https://theonion.com/trove-of-emails-about-pedophilia-reignites-nations-love-of-reading/
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AI Chatbot That Only Responds ‘Huh’ Valued At $200 Billion https://theonion.com/ai-chatbot-that-only-responds-huh-valued-at-200-billion/
February 5, 2026 at 4:00 PM
AI Chatbot That Only Responds ‘Huh’ Valued At $200 Billion https://theonion.com/ai-chatbot-that-only-responds-huh-valued-at-200-billion/
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A 45-year-old man has been charged with two counts of assault after getting into a fistfight with a group of Texas teenagers who were protesting Immigration Customs and Enforcement.
thebarbedwire.com/2026/02/05/m...
thebarbedwire.com/2026/02/05/m...
45-Year-Old Man Beaten Up By High Schoolers After Allegedly Attacking Them During ICE Walkout
A Texas man has been charged after getting into a fistfight with a group of teenagers who staged an ICE walkout
thebarbedwire.com
February 5, 2026 at 5:11 PM
A 45-year-old man has been charged with two counts of assault after getting into a fistfight with a group of Texas teenagers who were protesting Immigration Customs and Enforcement.
thebarbedwire.com/2026/02/05/m...
thebarbedwire.com/2026/02/05/m...
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wow! can’t wait to see how the sports section of my hometown paper covers this trade!
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks are trading Anthony Davis to the Washington Wizards, The Athletic confirms.
February 4, 2026 at 7:06 PM
wow! can’t wait to see how the sports section of my hometown paper covers this trade!
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Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
February 4, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
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Reptile Handler At Birthday Party Ruthlessly Heckled By 6-Year-Old For Showing Amphibian https://theonion.com/reptile-handler-at-birthday-party-ruthlessly-heckled-by-6-year-old-for-showing-amphibian/
February 3, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Reptile Handler At Birthday Party Ruthlessly Heckled By 6-Year-Old For Showing Amphibian https://theonion.com/reptile-handler-at-birthday-party-ruthlessly-heckled-by-6-year-old-for-showing-amphibian/
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Crying laughing better editing than most a24 horror movies
February 3, 2026 at 7:13 AM
Crying laughing better editing than most a24 horror movies