Mediocritastic
@mediocritastic.bsky.social
adrift in a sea of low-fat balsamic vinaigrette
Reposted by Mediocritastic
we’re about to find out if loving SimCity makes you a better mayor
Mamdani was asked in 2002 by NY Mag what he wanted for Christmas and said SimCity 3000
Mamdani was asked in 2002 by NY Mag what he wanted for Christmas and said SimCity 3000
June 25, 2025 at 2:58 PM
we’re about to find out if loving SimCity makes you a better mayor
Mamdani was asked in 2002 by NY Mag what he wanted for Christmas and said SimCity 3000
Mamdani was asked in 2002 by NY Mag what he wanted for Christmas and said SimCity 3000
A dating service that matches you up with someone who drives the same speed as you on the highway
June 13, 2025 at 1:27 PM
A dating service that matches you up with someone who drives the same speed as you on the highway
Reposted by Mediocritastic
well, the two scoops really only applies to those raised in captivity. most folks don’t know that you’re looking at four, maybe even five, scoops if you can find a box of raisin bran in the wild
June 8, 2025 at 1:47 PM
well, the two scoops really only applies to those raised in captivity. most folks don’t know that you’re looking at four, maybe even five, scoops if you can find a box of raisin bran in the wild
The richer you get the more tired you should have to be, like by the time you’re a billionaire you should be lounging on a luxurious settee for 23 hours a day, way too sleepy to consider destabilizing a government or whatever. That feels fair.
May 5, 2025 at 8:52 PM
The richer you get the more tired you should have to be, like by the time you’re a billionaire you should be lounging on a luxurious settee for 23 hours a day, way too sleepy to consider destabilizing a government or whatever. That feels fair.
Convinced that this ER waiting room has The Equalizer playing on the TV just to remind us how much worse our injuries could be. Like yeah, that sucks that you sliced your hand open playing soccer, at least no one murdered YOU with a drill
April 25, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Convinced that this ER waiting room has The Equalizer playing on the TV just to remind us how much worse our injuries could be. Like yeah, that sucks that you sliced your hand open playing soccer, at least no one murdered YOU with a drill
These documentaries about the fall of the Roman Empire have become a lot more “lol so true” lately
April 2, 2025 at 10:48 PM
These documentaries about the fall of the Roman Empire have become a lot more “lol so true” lately
Reposted by Mediocritastic
COLUMBO: Just one more thing, Cap’n. By all accounts you run a tight ship here. So how is it an “Oops” like “All Berries” manages not only to slip by quality control, but also to ship by the truckload all over the country? That just don’t seem like an accident.
March 13, 2025 at 11:48 PM
COLUMBO: Just one more thing, Cap’n. By all accounts you run a tight ship here. So how is it an “Oops” like “All Berries” manages not only to slip by quality control, but also to ship by the truckload all over the country? That just don’t seem like an accident.
Spotify discover weekly is such a weird playlist. One song that exactly fits your taste, two dozen more that are inoffensive but not good, and then every now and then they’ll throw in a check to make sure that you’re familiar with Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk
March 12, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Spotify discover weekly is such a weird playlist. One song that exactly fits your taste, two dozen more that are inoffensive but not good, and then every now and then they’ll throw in a check to make sure that you’re familiar with Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk
It’s not quite as outrageous as what’s happening at the federal level but my Republican governor just appointed his retired CEO buddy as the State Tax Commissioner, replacing a career public servant and truly, I miss when any of them felt like they had to pretend to follow rules
March 6, 2025 at 12:01 AM
It’s not quite as outrageous as what’s happening at the federal level but my Republican governor just appointed his retired CEO buddy as the State Tax Commissioner, replacing a career public servant and truly, I miss when any of them felt like they had to pretend to follow rules
Reposted by Mediocritastic
"anarcho-communist? oh, no, you misheard me.
I'm an arachno-communist. I believe we shouldn't have private property, and also the only legitimate form of government is THE SPIDER"
I'm an arachno-communist. I believe we shouldn't have private property, and also the only legitimate form of government is THE SPIDER"
February 23, 2025 at 7:31 PM
"anarcho-communist? oh, no, you misheard me.
I'm an arachno-communist. I believe we shouldn't have private property, and also the only legitimate form of government is THE SPIDER"
I'm an arachno-communist. I believe we shouldn't have private property, and also the only legitimate form of government is THE SPIDER"
Reposted by Mediocritastic
me: *holds up drawing* is this the guy?
witness: that looks nothing like him
me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN
witness: that looks nothing like him
me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN
February 20, 2025 at 7:57 PM
me: *holds up drawing* is this the guy?
witness: that looks nothing like him
me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN
witness: that looks nothing like him
me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN
Reposted by Mediocritastic
My phone tried to connect to my clothes dryer the other day, I was like wtf, you two have nothing to talk to each other about.
February 18, 2025 at 1:56 PM
My phone tried to connect to my clothes dryer the other day, I was like wtf, you two have nothing to talk to each other about.
This morning I listened to a gruff southern construction worker use “The Secret Life of Pets” as an analogy to describe construction equipment issues to his coworker. Both times required an in depth explanation of the plot to the other full grown adult man on the other side of the phone
February 8, 2025 at 11:46 PM
This morning I listened to a gruff southern construction worker use “The Secret Life of Pets” as an analogy to describe construction equipment issues to his coworker. Both times required an in depth explanation of the plot to the other full grown adult man on the other side of the phone
Reposted by Mediocritastic
If by work from home you mean a return to agrarian serfdom, I have good news for you!
February 5, 2025 at 4:19 AM
If by work from home you mean a return to agrarian serfdom, I have good news for you!
Everybody slap your fascist uncle for me next chance you get please. I know it will ruin your niece’s baby shower, but god knows they’re not going to face any other consequences for their role in this
February 3, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Everybody slap your fascist uncle for me next chance you get please. I know it will ruin your niece’s baby shower, but god knows they’re not going to face any other consequences for their role in this
Reposted by Mediocritastic
Accidentally revealed too much about my journey of revenge to Confucius so now I'm going to have to dig three graves.
February 3, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Accidentally revealed too much about my journey of revenge to Confucius so now I'm going to have to dig three graves.
Considering a pivot to writing world’s worst romance novels for a living. I bet I could do an incredible “The Billionaire Police Officer’s Secret Baby” if I really put my mind to it
January 31, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Considering a pivot to writing world’s worst romance novels for a living. I bet I could do an incredible “The Billionaire Police Officer’s Secret Baby” if I really put my mind to it
Reposted by Mediocritastic
if you wish to go far, go together. if you wish to go fast, go alone. if you wish to go cheaply, go to my trebuchet range after closing time; bring cash
January 31, 2025 at 2:04 AM
if you wish to go far, go together. if you wish to go fast, go alone. if you wish to go cheaply, go to my trebuchet range after closing time; bring cash
There’s a very Schrödinger’s crawlspace element to homeownership where you just put off checking if those noises are raccoons in your attic or just House Sounds™️ because the second you come face to face with an unexpected raccoon you’re going to need to do something about it
January 22, 2025 at 10:54 PM
There’s a very Schrödinger’s crawlspace element to homeownership where you just put off checking if those noises are raccoons in your attic or just House Sounds™️ because the second you come face to face with an unexpected raccoon you’re going to need to do something about it
It’s remarkable how much time I spend doing stuff that makes me unhappy for no good reason. I will wake up in the morning, put on a sweater that I know itches, eat a breakfast bar that tastes like feet, and then listen to songs I don’t really like on my way to work without even thinking about it
January 3, 2025 at 12:31 AM
It’s remarkable how much time I spend doing stuff that makes me unhappy for no good reason. I will wake up in the morning, put on a sweater that I know itches, eat a breakfast bar that tastes like feet, and then listen to songs I don’t really like on my way to work without even thinking about it
Reposted by Mediocritastic
Think twice before gifting someone an M dwarf this holiday season
December 22, 2024 at 4:22 AM
Think twice before gifting someone an M dwarf this holiday season
I imagine this is going to be controversial but can I just say that the kerning on the 1933-1935 United Airlines logo was insane?
December 22, 2024 at 2:09 AM
I imagine this is going to be controversial but can I just say that the kerning on the 1933-1935 United Airlines logo was insane?
Going to your mothers house with clean clothes instead of laundry in your suitcase feels like a good hallmark of adulthood and, by that metric, my mother has three lovely children in their late 20s
December 21, 2024 at 2:10 PM
Going to your mothers house with clean clothes instead of laundry in your suitcase feels like a good hallmark of adulthood and, by that metric, my mother has three lovely children in their late 20s
Facebook assumes most people want to see an average amount of low quality spam posts but gives you a (buried) setting to see less and it all just makes me wonder if there’s a single normal human being working there
December 19, 2024 at 6:12 PM
Facebook assumes most people want to see an average amount of low quality spam posts but gives you a (buried) setting to see less and it all just makes me wonder if there’s a single normal human being working there
Reposted by Mediocritastic
I pry open the crab shell but instead of sweet crabmeat I find a tiny, bustling city filled with people who have my face. It tastes terrible
December 14, 2024 at 7:10 PM
I pry open the crab shell but instead of sweet crabmeat I find a tiny, bustling city filled with people who have my face. It tastes terrible