Max™
@maxthyme.bsky.social
Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal...
(He/Him)
(He/Him)
Pinned
Max™
@maxthyme.bsky.social
· Jul 23
Ok fine I admit it, I'm the one taking bites out of nerf footballs
Red Aurora is an omen for the death of kings huh?
Remember universe: nobody gives a fuck about Charles, it's the orange one we hate.
Remember universe: nobody gives a fuck about Charles, it's the orange one we hate.
November 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Red Aurora is an omen for the death of kings huh?
Remember universe: nobody gives a fuck about Charles, it's the orange one we hate.
Remember universe: nobody gives a fuck about Charles, it's the orange one we hate.
Reposted by Max™
i hit a button on my newly invented switchblade broadsword and the whole thing launches out of my hands and disappears over the horizon. i never explained what it was supposed to do so everyone is cheering and going nuts
November 11, 2025 at 10:00 AM
i hit a button on my newly invented switchblade broadsword and the whole thing launches out of my hands and disappears over the horizon. i never explained what it was supposed to do so everyone is cheering and going nuts
Reposted by Max™
my Edmund Fitzgerald was a Great Lakes freighter for 17 years. i walked with her load of iron ore, twenty-six thousand tons more than she weighed empty. you wouldn't survive 3 seconds in her vagina when the gales of November come early.
i miss her terribly.
i miss her terribly.
November 10, 2025 at 11:32 PM
my Edmund Fitzgerald was a Great Lakes freighter for 17 years. i walked with her load of iron ore, twenty-six thousand tons more than she weighed empty. you wouldn't survive 3 seconds in her vagina when the gales of November come early.
i miss her terribly.
i miss her terribly.
Reposted by Max™
watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
this movie is so good holy shit?
I love Chow Yun Fat and Michelle Yeoh 🥹
this movie is so good holy shit?
I love Chow Yun Fat and Michelle Yeoh 🥹
November 10, 2025 at 7:41 PM
watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
this movie is so good holy shit?
I love Chow Yun Fat and Michelle Yeoh 🥹
this movie is so good holy shit?
I love Chow Yun Fat and Michelle Yeoh 🥹
Reposted by Max™
Schumer can be removed from his Dem leadership role this week - 23 Dems (and/or independents) just have to vote to depose him
And they should, given this is his fault.
And they should, given this is his fault.
This is a lovely sentiment but Schumer isn't up for re-election until 2028 and he knows this. At which point he will be 77/78. There's no mechanism to recall a sitting senator AFAIK.
Let’s be clear: Chuck Schumer is the one ending this shutdown, no matter how the votes read.
Chuck Schumer is claiming that he’s voting no, while letting other Senators (Fetterman, Kaine, King, etc) do HIS dirty work.
He must be removed from his leadership & primaried for the sake of this country
Chuck Schumer is claiming that he’s voting no, while letting other Senators (Fetterman, Kaine, King, etc) do HIS dirty work.
He must be removed from his leadership & primaried for the sake of this country
November 10, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Schumer can be removed from his Dem leadership role this week - 23 Dems (and/or independents) just have to vote to depose him
And they should, given this is his fault.
And they should, given this is his fault.
Reposted by Max™
I can’t wait for the day I wake up and it’s finally the funniest day on the internet
November 9, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I can’t wait for the day I wake up and it’s finally the funniest day on the internet
[cursed]
me: *finishes off gallon of jerry*
everyone: what the fuck
me: *finishes off gallon of jerry*
everyone: what the fuck
[jeopardy]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
ken jennings: jerry, you control the board
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
ken jennings: jerry, you control the board
[hot ones]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
November 8, 2025 at 3:36 AM
[cursed]
me: *finishes off gallon of jerry*
everyone: what the fuck
me: *finishes off gallon of jerry*
everyone: what the fuck
Reposted by Max™
I would have been happy to go the rest of my life without having to think about that man ever again. His decisions cost innumerable lives and he never once seemed even remotely apologetic about it.
"I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."-Clarence Darrow
"I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."-Clarence Darrow
November 5, 2025 at 11:23 PM
I would have been happy to go the rest of my life without having to think about that man ever again. His decisions cost innumerable lives and he never once seemed even remotely apologetic about it.
"I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."-Clarence Darrow
"I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."-Clarence Darrow
If you see this QTP with a female anime character you love
November 6, 2025 at 7:42 AM
If you see this QTP with a female anime character you love
I got to hold a big wolf spider today!
She was fleeing while we washed out the carport but kept trying to jump off my hand until finally she was water logged enough to give up and let me rescue her to a safer bush.
She was big enough I could feel her weight, big pretty girl.
She was fleeing while we washed out the carport but kept trying to jump off my hand until finally she was water logged enough to give up and let me rescue her to a safer bush.
She was big enough I could feel her weight, big pretty girl.
November 6, 2025 at 7:10 AM
I got to hold a big wolf spider today!
She was fleeing while we washed out the carport but kept trying to jump off my hand until finally she was water logged enough to give up and let me rescue her to a safer bush.
She was big enough I could feel her weight, big pretty girl.
She was fleeing while we washed out the carport but kept trying to jump off my hand until finally she was water logged enough to give up and let me rescue her to a safer bush.
She was big enough I could feel her weight, big pretty girl.
Here's how Cuomo can still win if Mike pence has the courage
November 5, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Here's how Cuomo can still win if Mike pence has the courage
Reposted by Max™
Dick Cheney Was Doing War Crimes in Exactly the Right Way, by Ezra Klein.
November 4, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Dick Cheney Was Doing War Crimes in Exactly the Right Way, by Ezra Klein.
Reposted by Max™
Name an anime that would kill it as a remake.
I'll start.
I'll start.
November 3, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Name an anime that would kill it as a remake.
I'll start.
I'll start.
I honestly think every woman should get one free pass to just kill a guy, no excuses needed, no reason, nothing, just turn in your killed a guy card.
November 4, 2025 at 4:56 AM
I honestly think every woman should get one free pass to just kill a guy, no excuses needed, no reason, nothing, just turn in your killed a guy card.
Had a dream there was a frankly terrifying disease infecting creatures with shadowy eyes like wrath from full metal alchemist.
It was awful and scary and serious until I woke up and remembered the name was "borgertism" which saps the horror right back out.
It was awful and scary and serious until I woke up and remembered the name was "borgertism" which saps the horror right back out.
November 3, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Had a dream there was a frankly terrifying disease infecting creatures with shadowy eyes like wrath from full metal alchemist.
It was awful and scary and serious until I woke up and remembered the name was "borgertism" which saps the horror right back out.
It was awful and scary and serious until I woke up and remembered the name was "borgertism" which saps the horror right back out.
So I guess with all this baseball talk I should go ahead and admit something embarrassing: I have no idea what a Toronto is.
November 2, 2025 at 7:53 AM
So I guess with all this baseball talk I should go ahead and admit something embarrassing: I have no idea what a Toronto is.
Reposted by Max™
A Bluesky user told me Discover feed keeps showing him jerryposts so I asked how many jerryposts he's liked and he said he just goes to my timeline and likes a new jerrypost afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding jerryposts to Discover feed and then his daughter started crying.
November 1, 2025 at 7:54 PM
A Bluesky user told me Discover feed keeps showing him jerryposts so I asked how many jerryposts he's liked and he said he just goes to my timeline and likes a new jerrypost afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding jerryposts to Discover feed and then his daughter started crying.
So the latest xkcd mentioned making fun of geologists for assuming that heart mountain: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_M... was displaced in a rock slide that went so far because it was suspended like a hovercraft on a natural gas cushion... but that is a viable explanation?
Heart Mountain (Wyoming) - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
November 1, 2025 at 7:42 PM
So the latest xkcd mentioned making fun of geologists for assuming that heart mountain: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_M... was displaced in a rock slide that went so far because it was suspended like a hovercraft on a natural gas cushion... but that is a viable explanation?
Reposted by Max™
reskeeting cuz hidden
Jay doesn't want to limit the Nazi pedo losers, those are her favorite people
November 1, 2025 at 10:55 AM
reskeeting cuz hidden
Reposted by Max™
Jay doesn't want to limit the Nazi pedo losers, those are her favorite people
November 1, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Jay doesn't want to limit the Nazi pedo losers, those are her favorite people
So a big giant raccoon took an absolutely monster sized dump on the porch by one of the trees the other day and I am still in awe at the thought of this beefy unit roaming around taking these powerful shits everywhere.
We had a large dog that didn't shit like this, what the hell?
We had a large dog that didn't shit like this, what the hell?
November 1, 2025 at 6:36 PM
So a big giant raccoon took an absolutely monster sized dump on the porch by one of the trees the other day and I am still in awe at the thought of this beefy unit roaming around taking these powerful shits everywhere.
We had a large dog that didn't shit like this, what the hell?
We had a large dog that didn't shit like this, what the hell?
Reposted by Max™
During tonight’s Trick-or-Treating, our 3-year-old got more and more excited.
“More houses! More candy!”
Until he suddenly looked to the sky and shouted (verbatim):
“Can I eat the moon!?”
Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t, little one. Be the cosmic horror you want to see in the world.
“More houses! More candy!”
Until he suddenly looked to the sky and shouted (verbatim):
“Can I eat the moon!?”
Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t, little one. Be the cosmic horror you want to see in the world.
November 1, 2025 at 2:44 AM
During tonight’s Trick-or-Treating, our 3-year-old got more and more excited.
“More houses! More candy!”
Until he suddenly looked to the sky and shouted (verbatim):
“Can I eat the moon!?”
Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t, little one. Be the cosmic horror you want to see in the world.
“More houses! More candy!”
Until he suddenly looked to the sky and shouted (verbatim):
“Can I eat the moon!?”
Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t, little one. Be the cosmic horror you want to see in the world.
Woke up with the phrase "giant psychic ghost cat pact" in my head.
November 1, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Woke up with the phrase "giant psychic ghost cat pact" in my head.