Matt Cornah
@mattcornah.bsky.social
Inventor, entrepreneur, poet, scientist, life coach, fast runner and Donkey Kong enthusiast. Mainly the last thing.
I really like the aesthetic of stuff like Thunderbirds. Not so much the puppets, but there should be a word for it like "steampunk" but not quite that - the aesthetic of what people from the 1960s and 1970s thought THE FUTURE might be like.
Maybe "reel-to-reel tape machine-punk".
Maybe "reel-to-reel tape machine-punk".
February 18, 2026 at 8:05 AM
I really like the aesthetic of stuff like Thunderbirds. Not so much the puppets, but there should be a word for it like "steampunk" but not quite that - the aesthetic of what people from the 1960s and 1970s thought THE FUTURE might be like.
Maybe "reel-to-reel tape machine-punk".
Maybe "reel-to-reel tape machine-punk".
Didn't know Lewis Carroll was born in a bin.
February 14, 2026 at 1:13 PM
Didn't know Lewis Carroll was born in a bin.
Things my grandma says will make you go blind (in probability order):
• Swearing in a church
• Wanking
• Looking at an eclipse (without use of a cardboard box)
• Putting poo in your eyes
• Swearing in a church
• Wanking
• Looking at an eclipse (without use of a cardboard box)
• Putting poo in your eyes
February 11, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Things my grandma says will make you go blind (in probability order):
• Swearing in a church
• Wanking
• Looking at an eclipse (without use of a cardboard box)
• Putting poo in your eyes
• Swearing in a church
• Wanking
• Looking at an eclipse (without use of a cardboard box)
• Putting poo in your eyes
INCORRECT DOCTOR WHO OPINION
Colin Baker was rehabilitated by Big Finish.
CORRECT DOCTOR WHO OPINION
Colin Baker was amazing to begin with what are you talking about.
Colin Baker was rehabilitated by Big Finish.
CORRECT DOCTOR WHO OPINION
Colin Baker was amazing to begin with what are you talking about.
February 6, 2026 at 3:57 PM
INCORRECT DOCTOR WHO OPINION
Colin Baker was rehabilitated by Big Finish.
CORRECT DOCTOR WHO OPINION
Colin Baker was amazing to begin with what are you talking about.
Colin Baker was rehabilitated by Big Finish.
CORRECT DOCTOR WHO OPINION
Colin Baker was amazing to begin with what are you talking about.
Gonna buy a barge pole so that I can not touch some things with it.
January 29, 2026 at 5:24 PM
Gonna buy a barge pole so that I can not touch some things with it.
What is it with other people's houses never having fizzy drinks in? Not everybody wants tea or booze. I WANT BUBBLES.
January 25, 2026 at 9:33 AM
What is it with other people's houses never having fizzy drinks in? Not everybody wants tea or booze. I WANT BUBBLES.
Gonna recalibrate face ID so it recognises my bum instead of my face.
January 22, 2026 at 6:43 PM
Gonna recalibrate face ID so it recognises my bum instead of my face.
Had to miss Bin Day over Christmas so today is the first proper Bin Day since November.
I'm just saying, I really think today is going to go down in history.
I'm just saying, I really think today is going to go down in history.
January 21, 2026 at 12:32 PM
Had to miss Bin Day over Christmas so today is the first proper Bin Day since November.
I'm just saying, I really think today is going to go down in history.
I'm just saying, I really think today is going to go down in history.
Hello I'd like to make a claim on my insurance.
Is it because of a thing that happened?
Yes.
I'm sorry, our policies only cover things that would never happen.
Is it because of a thing that happened?
Yes.
I'm sorry, our policies only cover things that would never happen.
January 17, 2026 at 8:42 AM
Hello I'd like to make a claim on my insurance.
Is it because of a thing that happened?
Yes.
I'm sorry, our policies only cover things that would never happen.
Is it because of a thing that happened?
Yes.
I'm sorry, our policies only cover things that would never happen.
I once dated JRR Tolkien. He was a fantasist.
I once dated a pantomime dame. OH NO YOU DIDN’T.
I once dated a medium. She ghosted me.
January 16, 2026 at 8:20 AM
I once dated JRR Tolkien. He was a fantasist.
Tripped over my shoelaces this morning.
Gonna be on high alert for banana skins, suspiciously-placed rakes, etc.
Gonna be on high alert for banana skins, suspiciously-placed rakes, etc.
January 16, 2026 at 8:00 AM
Tripped over my shoelaces this morning.
Gonna be on high alert for banana skins, suspiciously-placed rakes, etc.
Gonna be on high alert for banana skins, suspiciously-placed rakes, etc.
I'm wearing a new pair of trousers today and I want everyone to know they're extremely comfortable.
They're the most boring trousers you've ever seen. I don't even know what possessed me to buy them.
But I did. And I'm wearing them now. And they're comfortable as fuck.
They're the most boring trousers you've ever seen. I don't even know what possessed me to buy them.
But I did. And I'm wearing them now. And they're comfortable as fuck.
January 12, 2026 at 9:08 AM
I'm wearing a new pair of trousers today and I want everyone to know they're extremely comfortable.
They're the most boring trousers you've ever seen. I don't even know what possessed me to buy them.
But I did. And I'm wearing them now. And they're comfortable as fuck.
They're the most boring trousers you've ever seen. I don't even know what possessed me to buy them.
But I did. And I'm wearing them now. And they're comfortable as fuck.
Reposted by Matt Cornah
You can judge a person by the size of their moral circle. Trump, for instance, has the smallest possible moral circle, containing only him. Be the opposite: expand your circle. Include, for example, animals currently raised for food. We shut them out of our consciences. It's time to bring them in.
January 11, 2026 at 9:08 AM
You can judge a person by the size of their moral circle. Trump, for instance, has the smallest possible moral circle, containing only him. Be the opposite: expand your circle. Include, for example, animals currently raised for food. We shut them out of our consciences. It's time to bring them in.
I'm fed up of normalising things.
January 9, 2026 at 12:24 PM
I'm fed up of normalising things.
Fun fact: track 2 of the Hounds of Love album is also quite good.
December 31, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Fun fact: track 2 of the Hounds of Love album is also quite good.
Whatever it is you think I'm thinking about: you're wrong.
Unless you think I'm thinking about biscuits in which case you're bang on.
Unless you think I'm thinking about biscuits in which case you're bang on.
December 30, 2025 at 9:07 AM
Whatever it is you think I'm thinking about: you're wrong.
Unless you think I'm thinking about biscuits in which case you're bang on.
Unless you think I'm thinking about biscuits in which case you're bang on.
Beginning to wonder if eating loads of chocolate for breakfast four days on the trot was, in fact, the best policy for my continued physical and mental wellbeing.
December 28, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Beginning to wonder if eating loads of chocolate for breakfast four days on the trot was, in fact, the best policy for my continued physical and mental wellbeing.
Reposted by Matt Cornah
The algorithm continues to serve up content with the pinpoint accuracy of workmates who have identified your gender, sexual orientation and one TV show you mentioned liking, and will buy you a similar secret Santa gift based on that data every year until you quit.
December 28, 2025 at 7:26 AM
The algorithm continues to serve up content with the pinpoint accuracy of workmates who have identified your gender, sexual orientation and one TV show you mentioned liking, and will buy you a similar secret Santa gift based on that data every year until you quit.
I'd have married Reginald Rake.
December 26, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I'd have married Reginald Rake.
Do you think Father Boxing will come?
December 25, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Do you think Father Boxing will come?
Both BBC 1 AND ITV have a TV show called "The King" on at exactly the same time tomorrow afternoon. That's pretty embarrassing for them both, you'd think someone would've spotted it.
December 24, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Both BBC 1 AND ITV have a TV show called "The King" on at exactly the same time tomorrow afternoon. That's pretty embarrassing for them both, you'd think someone would've spotted it.
When I was very small the only Beach Boys song I'd ever heard was "Little Saint Nick", consequently all of the Beach Boys' music sounds Christmassy to me even though it's mainly about surfing and stuff.
December 24, 2025 at 2:27 PM
When I was very small the only Beach Boys song I'd ever heard was "Little Saint Nick", consequently all of the Beach Boys' music sounds Christmassy to me even though it's mainly about surfing and stuff.
RIP Father C. He had a good innings.
December 21, 2025 at 7:38 PM
RIP Father C. He had a good innings.
AS LONG AS THE ACTORS ARE ATTRACTIVE I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SCRIPT IS LIKE.
December 20, 2025 at 9:05 AM
AS LONG AS THE ACTORS ARE ATTRACTIVE I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SCRIPT IS LIKE.
The best bit of QI is the bit at the start where they all do the buzzers.
December 19, 2025 at 2:48 PM
The best bit of QI is the bit at the start where they all do the buzzers.