Matt Cornah
@mattcornah.bsky.social
Inventor, entrepreneur, poet, scientist, life coach, fast runner and Donkey Kong enthusiast. Mainly the last thing.
Renaming the internet browser Firefox to "Star Fox" on every computer to which I have access and the ability to do so is exhausting work. But worthwhile work.
November 20, 2025 at 7:48 AM
Renaming the internet browser Firefox to "Star Fox" on every computer to which I have access and the ability to do so is exhausting work. But worthwhile work.
Very thoughtful of the council to ensure International Men's Day coincides with Bin Day.
November 19, 2025 at 6:22 AM
Very thoughtful of the council to ensure International Men's Day coincides with Bin Day.
When I was a little boy I played Mario RPG for the first time having no experience of JRPGs outside of Pokémon. As a result I became CONVINCED that Pokémon was a rip-off of Mario RPG, and told all my school friends they were idiots for loving Pokémon so much when CLEARLY Mario did it all first.
November 18, 2025 at 7:04 AM
When I was a little boy I played Mario RPG for the first time having no experience of JRPGs outside of Pokémon. As a result I became CONVINCED that Pokémon was a rip-off of Mario RPG, and told all my school friends they were idiots for loving Pokémon so much when CLEARLY Mario did it all first.
I think I'd make a brilliant bouncer.
November 7, 2025 at 11:12 AM
I think I'd make a brilliant bouncer.
A shady cabal is secretly spreading negative propaganda about high seas plundering.
(Piracy cons theory.)
(Piracy cons theory.)
November 5, 2025 at 6:38 AM
A shady cabal is secretly spreading negative propaganda about high seas plundering.
(Piracy cons theory.)
(Piracy cons theory.)
There are too many songs about love and not enough songs about crisps.
November 4, 2025 at 7:52 AM
There are too many songs about love and not enough songs about crisps.
If you do a long and energetic dance routine for a cat, and she hisses at you... that's just her way of showing her appreciation, correct?
October 31, 2025 at 5:26 PM
If you do a long and energetic dance routine for a cat, and she hisses at you... that's just her way of showing her appreciation, correct?
I mean, who beeps you on a zebra crossing?
Not a rhetorical question - I want names and addresses.
Not a rhetorical question - I want names and addresses.
October 30, 2025 at 7:51 AM
I mean, who beeps you on a zebra crossing?
Not a rhetorical question - I want names and addresses.
Not a rhetorical question - I want names and addresses.
It's the last day of my 30s so I'm imbuing everything I do with a weird unearned significance.
Just did my last poo, for instance.
Just did my last poo, for instance.
October 25, 2025 at 4:48 PM
It's the last day of my 30s so I'm imbuing everything I do with a weird unearned significance.
Just did my last poo, for instance.
Just did my last poo, for instance.
Got a new conspiracy theory for you!
Those family treee places where you send them your DNA to analyse and they post back a load of graphs of your ethnic breakdown and stuff?
THEY MAKE IT ALL UP.
Those family treee places where you send them your DNA to analyse and they post back a load of graphs of your ethnic breakdown and stuff?
THEY MAKE IT ALL UP.
October 25, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Got a new conspiracy theory for you!
Those family treee places where you send them your DNA to analyse and they post back a load of graphs of your ethnic breakdown and stuff?
THEY MAKE IT ALL UP.
Those family treee places where you send them your DNA to analyse and they post back a load of graphs of your ethnic breakdown and stuff?
THEY MAKE IT ALL UP.
Mint flavour shower soap is all fun and games until you decide to eat a bit as a little treat.
Turns out it doesn't actually taste like After Eights.
Turns out it doesn't actually taste like After Eights.
October 22, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Mint flavour shower soap is all fun and games until you decide to eat a bit as a little treat.
Turns out it doesn't actually taste like After Eights.
Turns out it doesn't actually taste like After Eights.
Things I would buy if they were sold separately:
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a peanut packet
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a cereal packet
• The delicious briney juice inside a packet of halloumi
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a peanut packet
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a cereal packet
• The delicious briney juice inside a packet of halloumi
October 21, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Things I would buy if they were sold separately:
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a peanut packet
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a cereal packet
• The delicious briney juice inside a packet of halloumi
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a peanut packet
• The delicious dust at the bottom of a cereal packet
• The delicious briney juice inside a packet of halloumi
Oh bums, just realised I've got a week left of being a thirtysomething. Need to get my life sorted out! AND FAST!
October 19, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Oh bums, just realised I've got a week left of being a thirtysomething. Need to get my life sorted out! AND FAST!
I don't know who needs to know this but I think I might be part worm.
October 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
I don't know who needs to know this but I think I might be part worm.
Some advice I'd like to bestow upon my younger self: spend less time worrying about your hair and more time working on your personality.
Actually that's not bad advice for my present day self.
Actually that's not bad advice for my present day self.
September 28, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Some advice I'd like to bestow upon my younger self: spend less time worrying about your hair and more time working on your personality.
Actually that's not bad advice for my present day self.
Actually that's not bad advice for my present day self.
The music that plays when Sonic the Hedgehog is about to drown is also the music that plays in my head when I really desperately need a poo.
September 27, 2025 at 5:38 AM
The music that plays when Sonic the Hedgehog is about to drown is also the music that plays in my head when I really desperately need a poo.
Exciting news, I am now available in 3D.
September 20, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Exciting news, I am now available in 3D.
Reposted by Matt Cornah
When will people learn that free speech means I have the right to say whatever I want, not other people?
September 15, 2025 at 3:40 PM
When will people learn that free speech means I have the right to say whatever I want, not other people?
Turning off that-thing-that-makes-the-framerate-go-all-wrong-on-modern-tellys in hotel rooms is doing god's work.
September 11, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Turning off that-thing-that-makes-the-framerate-go-all-wrong-on-modern-tellys in hotel rooms is doing god's work.
Even my opinions about people with received opinions are received.
September 5, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Even my opinions about people with received opinions are received.
IT'S CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAS!
September 1, 2025 at 6:35 AM
IT'S CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAS!
I like to point at random objects and say, in an angry tone, "I hope that's not what I think it is".
August 27, 2025 at 4:36 PM
I like to point at random objects and say, in an angry tone, "I hope that's not what I think it is".
For simplicity I have renamed peanut butter "butter". The substance formerly known as butter will now be referred to as "non-peanut butter".
August 20, 2025 at 9:27 AM
For simplicity I have renamed peanut butter "butter". The substance formerly known as butter will now be referred to as "non-peanut butter".
Gonna name my first child Nominative Determinism Cornah. Just to see how they turn out.
August 16, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Gonna name my first child Nominative Determinism Cornah. Just to see how they turn out.
I like small speakers, I like tall speakers. But which one is the best?
August 11, 2025 at 1:24 PM
I like small speakers, I like tall speakers. But which one is the best?