Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
@machinegunphilly.bsky.social
✨ I’m Satan ✨
✨ if Satan were neurodivergent ✨
✨ pansexual ✨
✨ and Greek ✨
✨Pro-LGBTQ + women's rights✨
#1 Pearl Jam fan in my household
✨ if Satan were neurodivergent ✨
✨ pansexual ✨
✨ and Greek ✨
✨Pro-LGBTQ + women's rights✨
#1 Pearl Jam fan in my household
Pinned
Ok
I don’t know about you.
But if my name WASN’T on a list with a bunch of pedophiles,
I would just release the fucking list lol
I don’t know about you.
But if my name WASN’T on a list with a bunch of pedophiles,
I would just release the fucking list lol
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
"In some cases, people consider it unsafe."
I'm out of words. The absolute ghouls.
I'm out of words. The absolute ghouls.
January 8, 2026 at 4:04 PM
"In some cases, people consider it unsafe."
I'm out of words. The absolute ghouls.
I'm out of words. The absolute ghouls.
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
F
U
C
K
I
C
E
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
F
U
C
K
I
C
E
January 7, 2026 at 11:54 PM
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
F
U
C
K
I
C
E
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
FUCK ICE
F
U
C
K
I
C
E
Trainwreckords (if you know you know) predictions for 2026:
The Doors - Full Circle
Metallica/Lou Reed - Lulu (I’m cheating, he said it’s being covered)
*sigh* Fall Out Boy - Mania
LeAnn Rimes - Twisted Angel (again, I’m cheating)
Chance - The Big Day
Culture Club - Waking Up with the House on Fire
The Doors - Full Circle
Metallica/Lou Reed - Lulu (I’m cheating, he said it’s being covered)
*sigh* Fall Out Boy - Mania
LeAnn Rimes - Twisted Angel (again, I’m cheating)
Chance - The Big Day
Culture Club - Waking Up with the House on Fire
January 7, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Trainwreckords (if you know you know) predictions for 2026:
The Doors - Full Circle
Metallica/Lou Reed - Lulu (I’m cheating, he said it’s being covered)
*sigh* Fall Out Boy - Mania
LeAnn Rimes - Twisted Angel (again, I’m cheating)
Chance - The Big Day
Culture Club - Waking Up with the House on Fire
The Doors - Full Circle
Metallica/Lou Reed - Lulu (I’m cheating, he said it’s being covered)
*sigh* Fall Out Boy - Mania
LeAnn Rimes - Twisted Angel (again, I’m cheating)
Chance - The Big Day
Culture Club - Waking Up with the House on Fire
Tbf everyone who’s old enough to be an NFL ref can’t identify one either.
Identify an NFL catch
It's 2026.
Things many American school kids probably don't know how to do:
* Dial a rotary telephone
* Tell time from an analog clock
* Read or write cursive
* Decipher Roman numerals
* Navigate with a paper map or use a compass
* Balance a checkbook
(Please add more below)
Things many American school kids probably don't know how to do:
* Dial a rotary telephone
* Tell time from an analog clock
* Read or write cursive
* Decipher Roman numerals
* Navigate with a paper map or use a compass
* Balance a checkbook
(Please add more below)
January 2, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Tbf everyone who’s old enough to be an NFL ref can’t identify one either.
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
Bullshit Newborn Not Even Christ https://theonion.com/bullshit-newborn-not-even-christ/
December 25, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Bullshit Newborn Not Even Christ https://theonion.com/bullshit-newborn-not-even-christ/
Watching Kick-Ass 15 years later:
Man, this is still pretty fun!
Also watching Kick-Ass 15 years later:
Do they REALLY need to have a kid repeatedly blurt out “gay” as an insult every five seconds? Everyone involved is WAY too talented to rely on homophobic punch lines nearly every other scene.
Man, this is still pretty fun!
Also watching Kick-Ass 15 years later:
Do they REALLY need to have a kid repeatedly blurt out “gay” as an insult every five seconds? Everyone involved is WAY too talented to rely on homophobic punch lines nearly every other scene.
December 25, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Watching Kick-Ass 15 years later:
Man, this is still pretty fun!
Also watching Kick-Ass 15 years later:
Do they REALLY need to have a kid repeatedly blurt out “gay” as an insult every five seconds? Everyone involved is WAY too talented to rely on homophobic punch lines nearly every other scene.
Man, this is still pretty fun!
Also watching Kick-Ass 15 years later:
Do they REALLY need to have a kid repeatedly blurt out “gay” as an insult every five seconds? Everyone involved is WAY too talented to rely on homophobic punch lines nearly every other scene.
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
A bunch of snot-nosed kids under Elon Musk taking a chainsaw to our government systems and randomly firing experienced federal workers. What could go wrong?
December 24, 2025 at 9:34 PM
A bunch of snot-nosed kids under Elon Musk taking a chainsaw to our government systems and randomly firing experienced federal workers. What could go wrong?
Anyone else think Erika Kirk’s way of mourning her ex-husband is.. kinda fucking weird?
It looks like she’s celebrating.
It looks like she’s celebrating.
December 23, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Anyone else think Erika Kirk’s way of mourning her ex-husband is.. kinda fucking weird?
It looks like she’s celebrating.
It looks like she’s celebrating.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EDDIE VEDDER!
a man with long curly hair is wearing a blue sweatshirt
ALT: a man with long curly hair is wearing a blue sweatshirt
media.tenor.com
December 22, 2025 at 11:42 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EDDIE VEDDER!
Are there people who DON’T feel like this about Eagles fans?
Nick Sirianni To Eagles Fans: ‘I Hate All Of You, Fuck You’ https://theonion.com/nick-sirianni-to-eagles-fans-i-hate-all-of-you-fuck-you/
December 22, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Are there people who DON’T feel like this about Eagles fans?
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
Between the severely upsetting deaths and the lack of basically anything great musically and.. you know who else.. 2025 is up there with the worst years on record.
Personally, fuck you, 2025. You’re a horrible year and I judge you without compassion. Just end already.
Personally, fuck you, 2025. You’re a horrible year and I judge you without compassion. Just end already.
December 21, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Between the severely upsetting deaths and the lack of basically anything great musically and.. you know who else.. 2025 is up there with the worst years on record.
Personally, fuck you, 2025. You’re a horrible year and I judge you without compassion. Just end already.
Personally, fuck you, 2025. You’re a horrible year and I judge you without compassion. Just end already.
Spoiler:
They’re all REALLY really fucking bad.
They’re all REALLY really fucking bad.
December 21, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Spoiler:
They’re all REALLY really fucking bad.
They’re all REALLY really fucking bad.
“I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states.”
Underrated quote tbh
Underrated quote tbh
December 21, 2025 at 12:13 AM
“I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states.”
Underrated quote tbh
Underrated quote tbh
Ok
I don’t know about you.
But if my name WASN’T on a list with a bunch of pedophiles,
I would just release the fucking list lol
I don’t know about you.
But if my name WASN’T on a list with a bunch of pedophiles,
I would just release the fucking list lol
December 20, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Ok
I don’t know about you.
But if my name WASN’T on a list with a bunch of pedophiles,
I would just release the fucking list lol
I don’t know about you.
But if my name WASN’T on a list with a bunch of pedophiles,
I would just release the fucking list lol
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
"Did you redact the Epstein Files?"
"Sure did boss, real fucking suspicious just like you asked."
"What."
"Sure did boss, real fucking suspicious just like you asked."
"What."
December 20, 2025 at 3:47 AM
"Did you redact the Epstein Files?"
"Sure did boss, real fucking suspicious just like you asked."
"What."
"Sure did boss, real fucking suspicious just like you asked."
"What."
I feel like if you use words like subjectivity and objectivity A LOT, then you’re probably annoying.
December 19, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I feel like if you use words like subjectivity and objectivity A LOT, then you’re probably annoying.
In terms of situational awareness Sam Darnold is dumber than a sack of particularly stupid rocks.
December 19, 2025 at 4:32 AM
In terms of situational awareness Sam Darnold is dumber than a sack of particularly stupid rocks.
It’s official
I watch too much stuff
@shadowtodd.bsky.social’s content is basically crack - in the good way!
Also: credit to @hbomberguy.bsky.social for making long(ish) videos that I never want to pause. The LeBron James of content creation.
I watch too much stuff
@shadowtodd.bsky.social’s content is basically crack - in the good way!
Also: credit to @hbomberguy.bsky.social for making long(ish) videos that I never want to pause. The LeBron James of content creation.
December 16, 2025 at 8:32 PM
It’s official
I watch too much stuff
@shadowtodd.bsky.social’s content is basically crack - in the good way!
Also: credit to @hbomberguy.bsky.social for making long(ish) videos that I never want to pause. The LeBron James of content creation.
I watch too much stuff
@shadowtodd.bsky.social’s content is basically crack - in the good way!
Also: credit to @hbomberguy.bsky.social for making long(ish) videos that I never want to pause. The LeBron James of content creation.
Trump is subhuman garbage
Can’t wait until his final TMZ announcement
Can’t wait until his final TMZ announcement
December 15, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Trump is subhuman garbage
Can’t wait until his final TMZ announcement
Can’t wait until his final TMZ announcement
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
I interviewed Rob Reiner as one of the bonuses for the @criterion.bsky.social BluRay of SPINAL TAP. We talked for an hour about the movie and his career and then they shut off the cameras and we talked about movies for another hour. A delightful, unhurried genius.
December 15, 2025 at 5:51 AM
I interviewed Rob Reiner as one of the bonuses for the @criterion.bsky.social BluRay of SPINAL TAP. We talked for an hour about the movie and his career and then they shut off the cameras and we talked about movies for another hour. A delightful, unhurried genius.
RIP to an absolute legend…
I’m shocked and devastated
I’m shocked and devastated
The run that Rob Reiner went on between 1984 and 1992 is one of the most amazing hot streaks any director has ever had. Legendary stuff
December 15, 2025 at 3:38 AM
RIP to an absolute legend…
I’m shocked and devastated
I’m shocked and devastated
Just watched two BIG movies:
One Battle After Another, which is a masterpiece
And Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man, which is.. fine
One Battle After Another, which is a masterpiece
And Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man, which is.. fine
December 14, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Just watched two BIG movies:
One Battle After Another, which is a masterpiece
And Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man, which is.. fine
One Battle After Another, which is a masterpiece
And Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man, which is.. fine
Just finished this now
Being a Bob Dylan obsessive (meant in a flattering way 😂) sounds.. kind of fun! And possibly maddening.
I like this one - a lot!
Being a Bob Dylan obsessive (meant in a flattering way 😂) sounds.. kind of fun! And possibly maddening.
I like this one - a lot!
For @theringer.com.web.brid.gy I was pleased to be given a lot of (too much?) space to write about Bob Dylan's ongoing ROUGH & ROWDY WAYS tour, the strangest, most singular, and most predictable/unpredictable musical experience of the decade.
www.theringer.com/2025/12/12/m...
www.theringer.com/2025/12/12/m...
The Rough and Rowdy Way of Life
Bob Dylan is entering his fifth straight year of playing the same setlist devoid of his hits and largely derived from his 2020 album. How did the most predictable show in live music become the strange...
www.theringer.com
December 12, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Just finished this now
Being a Bob Dylan obsessive (meant in a flattering way 😂) sounds.. kind of fun! And possibly maddening.
I like this one - a lot!
Being a Bob Dylan obsessive (meant in a flattering way 😂) sounds.. kind of fun! And possibly maddening.
I like this one - a lot!
Reposted by Machine Gun Rivers Cuomo
Japanese Monk Racks
Brain For Haiku That Will Knock
Them On Their Asses
https://theonion.com/japanese-monk-racksbrain-for-haiku-that-will-knockthem-on-their-asses/
Brain For Haiku That Will Knock
Them On Their Asses
https://theonion.com/japanese-monk-racksbrain-for-haiku-that-will-knockthem-on-their-asses/
December 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Japanese Monk Racks
Brain For Haiku That Will Knock
Them On Their Asses
https://theonion.com/japanese-monk-racksbrain-for-haiku-that-will-knockthem-on-their-asses/
Brain For Haiku That Will Knock
Them On Their Asses
https://theonion.com/japanese-monk-racksbrain-for-haiku-that-will-knockthem-on-their-asses/