Laurent
@lozzercozzer.bsky.social
Views my own.
Yorkshire/ Around the globe.
If I don't follow back, it's not personal, just cutting down TL scroll addiction.
Yorkshire/ Around the globe.
If I don't follow back, it's not personal, just cutting down TL scroll addiction.
Pinned
Laurent
@lozzercozzer.bsky.social
· Jan 8
This was my last post on Instagram while this unacceptable policy is in place.
App deleted from phone.
Nothing bad happened when I dropped Facebook. Life improved dropping Twitter. Bluesky, you'd better behave.
App deleted from phone.
Nothing bad happened when I dropped Facebook. Life improved dropping Twitter. Bluesky, you'd better behave.
Reposted by Laurent
![[Scene is a MEDIEVAL PLAGUE PIT with all the bodies inside it. On the edge of it is a young peasant woman, in a sack cloth dress, covered in boils. She is lounging glamorously next to the pit. Her boyfriend is standing a few feet away, photographing her with an anachronistic mobile phone]
GIRL:
OK so I'll sit here...
With my hair like this…
Rubbing my cyst with the corpse's hand.
[She produces a whithered severed hand and starts rubbing it on her face.]
[We are treated to a revolting close up of her rubbing the severed hand on her disgusting massive cyst.]
[Her boyfriend takes a photo of her.]
SNAP
GIRL:
OK, now write this:
"Hanging out at the burial pit, rubbing my sebaceous cyst with a severed corpse hand from
#BurtsGraverobbers…”
And then: #selfcare, #metime, #BurtsGraverobbers…
... nails emoji, heart emoji, cyst emoji.
BOYFRIEND:
Um...
Should we really be promoting this?
I mean… does rubbing a corpse's hand on a cyst actually work?
GIRL:
Look, Burt's done research, OK?
And he's paying us four groats.
BOYFRIEND:
Hmm.
[Boyfriend dutifully taps out the post on his phone]
TAP TAP TAP
BOYFRIEND:
Cyst emoji?
GIRL:
Just use a fried egg.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifyvq2vzehtutrj7ild2dd7kkljmkbcby7yompicekbbpa2bqpluq@jpeg)
Reposted by Laurent
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
November 25, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
Reposted by Laurent
I really wish we'd stop calling them climate "skeptics" or "vaccine skeptics", if you jump off a cliff we don't call you a "gravity skeptic"
November 25, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I really wish we'd stop calling them climate "skeptics" or "vaccine skeptics", if you jump off a cliff we don't call you a "gravity skeptic"
Reposted by Laurent
Away with the dotard, to the jail with him!
November 25, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Away with the dotard, to the jail with him!
Amber Alert on Netflix is not without it's degree of stupid, but oof that 2nd half is tense.
November 25, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Amber Alert on Netflix is not without it's degree of stupid, but oof that 2nd half is tense.
Reposted by Laurent
Jumped on a bus after the gym then got me head stuck in my phone, looked up and realised the bus was on diversion and I was heading off to Crystal Palace! Feck. Hopped off and walked down a road I hadn’t been down for ages to get home and spotted some new graff!
November 25, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Jumped on a bus after the gym then got me head stuck in my phone, looked up and realised the bus was on diversion and I was heading off to Crystal Palace! Feck. Hopped off and walked down a road I hadn’t been down for ages to get home and spotted some new graff!
Still very much loving a young band from Barnsley called Maybe Gold that I saw on Saturday night. I think smaller gigs with exciting new discoveries are more fun than big arena gigs by far.
open.spotify.com/track/1P7yAX...
open.spotify.com/track/1P7yAX...
Again
open.spotify.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Still very much loving a young band from Barnsley called Maybe Gold that I saw on Saturday night. I think smaller gigs with exciting new discoveries are more fun than big arena gigs by far.
open.spotify.com/track/1P7yAX...
open.spotify.com/track/1P7yAX...
Reposted by Laurent
This is incredible. How does someone even come up with an idea like this, much less make it work so well?
November 25, 2025 at 3:03 PM
This is incredible. How does someone even come up with an idea like this, much less make it work so well?
Reposted by Laurent
November 25, 2025 at 3:22 PM
"they're so clever"
No love, feel bad for you but that is the dumbest shit I've read (so far today)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
No love, feel bad for you but that is the dumbest shit I've read (so far today)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
'How I lost £80K to fake Jason Momoa Facebook scammers'
www.bbc.co.uk
November 25, 2025 at 1:05 PM
"they're so clever"
No love, feel bad for you but that is the dumbest shit I've read (so far today)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
No love, feel bad for you but that is the dumbest shit I've read (so far today)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Swan and heron outside our office in Leeds
November 25, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Swan and heron outside our office in Leeds
Reposted by Laurent
Someone should do a spin on the I, Robot trope where a human is partnered with a robot he resents because a robot killed his partner, but instead of the robot eventually proving itself it's just confidently saying incorrect things and killing people through simple mistakes the entire movie
November 24, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Someone should do a spin on the I, Robot trope where a human is partnered with a robot he resents because a robot killed his partner, but instead of the robot eventually proving itself it's just confidently saying incorrect things and killing people through simple mistakes the entire movie
Reposted by Laurent
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
November 25, 2025 at 2:11 AM
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
Reposted by Laurent
TRUMP COMMENTS ON THE DOCUMENT THAT INFORMED THE KING OF ENGLAND THAT WE WERE IN REBELLION.
November 24, 2025 at 1:14 PM
TRUMP COMMENTS ON THE DOCUMENT THAT INFORMED THE KING OF ENGLAND THAT WE WERE IN REBELLION.
Reposted by Laurent
We started showing our 8yo Back to the Future tonight. My Spanish wife texted her aunt about it & she said she never heard of it. Then she said do you mean Back to the Past which is its Spanish title.
Shouldn’t be surprised by the literalness as Knight Rider is called The Fantastic Car over there.
Shouldn’t be surprised by the literalness as Knight Rider is called The Fantastic Car over there.
November 24, 2025 at 10:13 PM
We started showing our 8yo Back to the Future tonight. My Spanish wife texted her aunt about it & she said she never heard of it. Then she said do you mean Back to the Past which is its Spanish title.
Shouldn’t be surprised by the literalness as Knight Rider is called The Fantastic Car over there.
Shouldn’t be surprised by the literalness as Knight Rider is called The Fantastic Car over there.
Reposted by Laurent
A good thing about the napkin holder is it lets you take out your preferred number of napkins so long as you want either 800 napkins or a 3cm shard of one napkin.
November 25, 2025 at 7:10 AM
A good thing about the napkin holder is it lets you take out your preferred number of napkins so long as you want either 800 napkins or a 3cm shard of one napkin.
I asked MollyGPT the LLM (loving licky mutt) about Elon and she said he's a twat
November 24, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I asked MollyGPT the LLM (loving licky mutt) about Elon and she said he's a twat
Reposted by Laurent
Holly shit, just had 2 Apaches fly low past my house. Stupid phone camera not doing justice to how low they were
November 24, 2025 at 9:54 AM
Holly shit, just had 2 Apaches fly low past my house. Stupid phone camera not doing justice to how low they were
Reposted by Laurent
Reposted by Laurent
Still reeling from the Stanford report on Brexit. Reduced GDP by up to 8% and investment by as much as 18%. The UK Treasury would have £40 billion more each year if Britain had remained in the EU. Devastating self-immolation.
The Economic Impact of Brexit
Other
siepr.stanford.edu
November 24, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Still reeling from the Stanford report on Brexit. Reduced GDP by up to 8% and investment by as much as 18%. The UK Treasury would have £40 billion more each year if Britain had remained in the EU. Devastating self-immolation.
Holly shit, just had 2 Apaches fly low past my house. Stupid phone camera not doing justice to how low they were
November 24, 2025 at 9:54 AM
Holly shit, just had 2 Apaches fly low past my house. Stupid phone camera not doing justice to how low they were
Reposted by Laurent
WHY NO SECONDS. VERY HUNGRY
November 23, 2025 at 2:45 AM
WHY NO SECONDS. VERY HUNGRY
Reposted by Laurent
Labour deserve to lose the next election but collectively we don't deserve Farage as our PM.
How the hell to we deal with that?
How the hell to we deal with that?
November 23, 2025 at 10:17 AM
Labour deserve to lose the next election but collectively we don't deserve Farage as our PM.
How the hell to we deal with that?
How the hell to we deal with that?
Why does the snail in the Red Bull ad have its shell on back to front?
Follow me for other vital observations.
Follow me for other vital observations.
November 23, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Why does the snail in the Red Bull ad have its shell on back to front?
Follow me for other vital observations.
Follow me for other vital observations.