Lone Locust
@lonelocust.bsky.social
Primate, whimsy bomber, humanist, cat lover
Insert your own goatse joke
December 11, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Insert your own goatse joke
Reposted by Lone Locust
I’ll be so sad if it turns out jordan peterson is dead
and it’s not for something AT LEAST as funny as the time he flew to Russia to get someone to do put him into a coma so he could sleep through Xanax withdrawal like he did in 2020 www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...
and it’s not for something AT LEAST as funny as the time he flew to Russia to get someone to do put him into a coma so he could sleep through Xanax withdrawal like he did in 2020 www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...
Jordan Peterson seeks 'emergency' drug detox treatment in Russia | CBC News
Jordan Peterson, the polarizing pundit and author, is recovering in a Moscow hospital after seeking "emergency" treatment for dependence on an anti-anxiety medication, his daughter says.
www.cbc.ca
December 11, 2025 at 2:48 AM
I’ll be so sad if it turns out jordan peterson is dead
and it’s not for something AT LEAST as funny as the time he flew to Russia to get someone to do put him into a coma so he could sleep through Xanax withdrawal like he did in 2020 www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...
and it’s not for something AT LEAST as funny as the time he flew to Russia to get someone to do put him into a coma so he could sleep through Xanax withdrawal like he did in 2020 www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...
Reposted by Lone Locust
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
Kristi Noem didn't mention that she only caught the girlfriend of the founder of antifa because we're all in one big polycule.
October 10, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Kristi Noem didn't mention that she only caught the girlfriend of the founder of antifa because we're all in one big polycule.
I can't believe they didn't give the Peace Prize to Hitler's brain in a robot shark body.
October 10, 2025 at 3:48 PM
I can't believe they didn't give the Peace Prize to Hitler's brain in a robot shark body.
Reposted by Lone Locust
You know a lot of people are telling me, Mr. President the ribbon around your neck is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen but we never see you without it. They’re saying we need to know, we deserve to know what you look like without it. It’s true. But I’m not gonna take it off. Maybe I’ll take it off
October 5, 2025 at 3:16 PM
You know a lot of people are telling me, Mr. President the ribbon around your neck is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen but we never see you without it. They’re saying we need to know, we deserve to know what you look like without it. It’s true. But I’m not gonna take it off. Maybe I’ll take it off
Reposted by Lone Locust
Here’s a thought for the press: if the only statement from ICE that you were able to fact check turned out to be a lie, maybe don’t lead with their version of a story requiring them to “defensively” fire bullets at someone.
October 4, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Here’s a thought for the press: if the only statement from ICE that you were able to fact check turned out to be a lie, maybe don’t lead with their version of a story requiring them to “defensively” fire bullets at someone.
I listened to part of Stephen Miller's Charlie Kirk memorial speech that people were saying sounded like Goebbels, and I thought it sounded like an algorithmically-derived Punisher t-shirt.
September 25, 2025 at 5:41 PM
I listened to part of Stephen Miller's Charlie Kirk memorial speech that people were saying sounded like Goebbels, and I thought it sounded like an algorithmically-derived Punisher t-shirt.
I went to my first work conference since I quit tech and became a bartender. You can find as much autism at the bartender con as at the dev/ops con. (complimentary)
September 10, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I went to my first work conference since I quit tech and became a bartender. You can find as much autism at the bartender con as at the dev/ops con. (complimentary)
I found American money in my couch cushions. Apparently a new, immigrant spider has moved in.
September 8, 2025 at 10:53 AM
I found American money in my couch cushions. Apparently a new, immigrant spider has moved in.
The major driver of white males becoming trans is fear of being in the same demographic as Elon Musk.
September 3, 2025 at 4:36 PM
The major driver of white males becoming trans is fear of being in the same demographic as Elon Musk.
It's Fall, bitches.* Time for marzipan and for all the pumpkin sluts to frolic.
*Yes it is.
*Yes it is.
September 1, 2025 at 6:58 PM
It's Fall, bitches.* Time for marzipan and for all the pumpkin sluts to frolic.
*Yes it is.
*Yes it is.
Me: I could never be a parent. I need to sleep in whenever I want to.
Also me: awake on a day off because my cat wants attention.
Also me: awake on a day off because my cat wants attention.
August 18, 2025 at 7:28 AM
Me: I could never be a parent. I need to sleep in whenever I want to.
Also me: awake on a day off because my cat wants attention.
Also me: awake on a day off because my cat wants attention.
Ever put on some swirly goth music and dance swirlishly with your cats and a dangle toy? Ever put on some swirly goth music and dance swirlishly with your cats and a dangle toy... ON WEED?
August 17, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Ever put on some swirly goth music and dance swirlishly with your cats and a dangle toy? Ever put on some swirly goth music and dance swirlishly with your cats and a dangle toy... ON WEED?
One thing that's kinda funny* is that the misapplication of Godwin's Law is like totally dead now.
August 11, 2025 at 3:43 PM
One thing that's kinda funny* is that the misapplication of Godwin's Law is like totally dead now.
Lounged so hard on my days off that my cats got bored of me being in bed and harassed me to get up and play with them. Number one bed rotting champion.
August 7, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Lounged so hard on my days off that my cats got bored of me being in bed and harassed me to get up and play with them. Number one bed rotting champion.
I need someone to come stare at my head until I put away my last 3 boxes and put my table together.
July 22, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I need someone to come stare at my head until I put away my last 3 boxes and put my table together.
Oh yeah it's the 4th of July. And the big 250. What a weird fucking time. Are people actually going to fireworks and shit this year? Is shit fucking crazy in the US? Do you all feel like you're taking crazy pills?
July 4, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Oh yeah it's the 4th of July. And the big 250. What a weird fucking time. Are people actually going to fireworks and shit this year? Is shit fucking crazy in the US? Do you all feel like you're taking crazy pills?
Why is the one time that churches in the US don't get to just break the law because fuck you when they're helping the homeless?
A judge blocked a rural Colorado city from disbanding a church’s homeless encampment. Then the city fired her.
The firing prompted serious concern from church leaders and homeless advocates, who wonder whether the city is stacking the deck against them.
www.denverpost.com
June 16, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Why is the one time that churches in the US don't get to just break the law because fuck you when they're helping the homeless?
Reposted by Lone Locust
giving the witch of the woods 3 stars on Yelp after her love potion only results in a situationship
May 28, 2025 at 6:38 PM
giving the witch of the woods 3 stars on Yelp after her love potion only results in a situationship
Does Elon getting canned from doge count as "Elon/Trump bromance breakup" which I wrote on my 2025 bingo card?
May 9, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Does Elon getting canned from doge count as "Elon/Trump bromance breakup" which I wrote on my 2025 bingo card?
Does anyone want to invest in my chatGPT-powered mecha-Columbus?
Well, you’ll be happy to know, Christopher is going to make a major comeback
April 28, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Does anyone want to invest in my chatGPT-powered mecha-Columbus?
Yasss, my girl @zohnoes.bsky.social has sent me my favorite American trash food.
April 25, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Yasss, my girl @zohnoes.bsky.social has sent me my favorite American trash food.
Does BattleBots count as watching sports?
April 4, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Does BattleBots count as watching sports?