kelliebob
@kelliebob.bsky.social
Bee wrangler, profanity enthusiast, chaos gremlin, hockey fanatic. Everything always works out the way it’s supposed to.
You. Are. Not. Prepared.
Look guys I’ve spent the last day playing this over and over again. Don’t read the comments first and stick it through to the second verse. It is in fact one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 11, 2025 at 1:08 AM
You. Are. Not. Prepared.
The number of all caps texts I got from the kid about this 🤣🤣🤣
(Yes I requested time off and we’re planning on going since he’ll be home from school)
(Yes I requested time off and we’re planning on going since he’ll be home from school)
DALLAS, here we go! 🗣️
The 2025-26 PWHL Takeover Tour presented by BJ's Wholesale Club is stopping by American Airlines Center on December 28.
➡️ thepwhl.com/en/takeover-tour
The 2025-26 PWHL Takeover Tour presented by BJ's Wholesale Club is stopping by American Airlines Center on December 28.
➡️ thepwhl.com/en/takeover-tour
November 10, 2025 at 5:56 PM
The number of all caps texts I got from the kid about this 🤣🤣🤣
(Yes I requested time off and we’re planning on going since he’ll be home from school)
(Yes I requested time off and we’re planning on going since he’ll be home from school)
Reposted by kelliebob
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
It’s 8:52pm and I’m going to bed YOLO 🙌
November 9, 2025 at 2:54 AM
It’s 8:52pm and I’m going to bed YOLO 🙌
FUCK YEAH COCAINE HIPPOS! Also: do yourself a favor and look up the plan to populate the Gulf coast with hippos IT WAS A REAL THING it’s not the bourbon talking I promise
November 9, 2025 at 2:33 AM
FUCK YEAH COCAINE HIPPOS! Also: do yourself a favor and look up the plan to populate the Gulf coast with hippos IT WAS A REAL THING it’s not the bourbon talking I promise
Fuck yeah let’s watch Danny Trejo explain quasi scientific mysteries! The world is cool as heck.
November 9, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Fuck yeah let’s watch Danny Trejo explain quasi scientific mysteries! The world is cool as heck.
Bourbon is so tasty. (Your mileage may vary. You do you.)
November 9, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Bourbon is so tasty. (Your mileage may vary. You do you.)
I don’t want to brag but I’m AMAZING at fro-yo. You do your whatever makes you happy and all but woooooow I’m great at this. Just wonderful.
Sweet jeebus my infants weighed less than this cup of of Cinnamon Toast Crunch-cheesecake flavored froyo-pumpkin pie flavored fro yo-carmel sauce-toasted coconut dessert
I’m being taken to FROYO!! This will bankrupt us. I have zero self control around TOPPINGS.
November 9, 2025 at 1:54 AM
I don’t want to brag but I’m AMAZING at fro-yo. You do your whatever makes you happy and all but woooooow I’m great at this. Just wonderful.
Being an adult is the most fun shit EVER. I know some of it sucks, yeah. That’s the trade off for getting to choose fun whenever possible.
November 9, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Being an adult is the most fun shit EVER. I know some of it sucks, yeah. That’s the trade off for getting to choose fun whenever possible.
Sweet jeebus my infants weighed less than this cup of of Cinnamon Toast Crunch-cheesecake flavored froyo-pumpkin pie flavored fro yo-carmel sauce-toasted coconut dessert
I’m being taken to FROYO!! This will bankrupt us. I have zero self control around TOPPINGS.
November 9, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Sweet jeebus my infants weighed less than this cup of of Cinnamon Toast Crunch-cheesecake flavored froyo-pumpkin pie flavored fro yo-carmel sauce-toasted coconut dessert
I’m being taken to FROYO!! This will bankrupt us. I have zero self control around TOPPINGS.
November 9, 2025 at 1:14 AM
I’m being taken to FROYO!! This will bankrupt us. I have zero self control around TOPPINGS.
Ok that could very well be Acclaimed ActorJohn Goodman we will never know
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hubs thinks the man behind me is Legendary Thespian John Goodman and I’m sorry but I’m blind in one eye now.
It could be.
It could be Dakota Fanning.
I’m shithoused, babe.
It could be.
It could be Dakota Fanning.
I’m shithoused, babe.
Sweet Jesus this is a rocks glass of straight gin. The pasta is the best I’ve ever had in my LIFE.
November 9, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Ok that could very well be Acclaimed ActorJohn Goodman we will never know
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hubs thinks the man behind me is Legendary Thespian John Goodman and I’m sorry but I’m blind in one eye now.
It could be.
It could be Dakota Fanning.
I’m shithoused, babe.
It could be.
It could be Dakota Fanning.
I’m shithoused, babe.
Sweet Jesus this is a rocks glass of straight gin. The pasta is the best I’ve ever had in my LIFE.
I ordered another and they petted my shoulder and said, “of course, baby” and I have no idea what fresh hell to expect (I will be grateful)
November 9, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Hubs thinks the man behind me is Legendary Thespian John Goodman and I’m sorry but I’m blind in one eye now.
It could be.
It could be Dakota Fanning.
I’m shithoused, babe.
It could be.
It could be Dakota Fanning.
I’m shithoused, babe.
Sweet Jesus this is a rocks glass of straight gin. The pasta is the best I’ve ever had in my LIFE.
I ordered another and they petted my shoulder and said, “of course, baby” and I have no idea what fresh hell to expect (I will be grateful)
Best night ever, istg
November 9, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Sweet Jesus this is a rocks glass of straight gin. The pasta is the best I’ve ever had in my LIFE.
I ordered another and they petted my shoulder and said, “of course, baby” and I have no idea what fresh hell to expect (I will be grateful)
Best night ever, istg
Found a neighborhood Italian place for dinner. I ordered a G&T and the server of indeterminate gender and age patted my shoulder and said “I like you, honey.” then proudly brought me the most gawdawful gin and allegedly-tonic I’ve ever had.
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
November 9, 2025 at 12:26 AM
I ordered another and they petted my shoulder and said, “of course, baby” and I have no idea what fresh hell to expect (I will be grateful)
Best night ever, istg
Found a neighborhood Italian place for dinner. I ordered a G&T and the server of indeterminate gender and age patted my shoulder and said “I like you, honey.” then proudly brought me the most gawdawful gin and allegedly-tonic I’ve ever had.
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
November 9, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Best night ever, istg
Found a neighborhood Italian place for dinner. I ordered a G&T and the server of indeterminate gender and age patted my shoulder and said “I like you, honey.” then proudly brought me the most gawdawful gin and allegedly-tonic I’ve ever had.
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
November 9, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Found a neighborhood Italian place for dinner. I ordered a G&T and the server of indeterminate gender and age patted my shoulder and said “I like you, honey.” then proudly brought me the most gawdawful gin and allegedly-tonic I’ve ever had.
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
Now they’re discussing life trauma with a table behind us
OMG I took a wrong turn on the way to a different museum and found a DOG ADOPTION FAIR the universe loves me and wants me to tell all these dogs how much I love them.
They’re all so good 💜
They’re all so good 💜
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
OMG I took a wrong turn on the way to a different museum and found a DOG ADOPTION FAIR the universe loves me and wants me to tell all these dogs how much I love them.
They’re all so good 💜
They’re all so good 💜
First stop: Dallas Museum of Art!
November 8, 2025 at 4:44 PM
First stop: Dallas Museum of Art!
Reposted by kelliebob
Happy 3rd Publish-iversary to my first book, Viviana Valentine Gets Her Man! It has been a wild (and stressful) past three years. I didn't have as much time as I wanted to debut Viv to the world, but I'm glad there are people who love her as much as I do! www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/711852...
November 8, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Happy 3rd Publish-iversary to my first book, Viviana Valentine Gets Her Man! It has been a wild (and stressful) past three years. I didn't have as much time as I wanted to debut Viv to the world, but I'm glad there are people who love her as much as I do! www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/711852...
Thinking about taking a ride into Dallas today and puttering around. What’s good? How’s the art museum? I’ve got 4-5 hours to kill.
November 8, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Thinking about taking a ride into Dallas today and puttering around. What’s good? How’s the art museum? I’ve got 4-5 hours to kill.
Being a parent means sometimes you get texts that say, “Does this look like it needs to be glued shut?”and you know it’s going to be gross but you HAVE to look because it’s your JOB.
November 8, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Being a parent means sometimes you get texts that say, “Does this look like it needs to be glued shut?”and you know it’s going to be gross but you HAVE to look because it’s your JOB.
Ok I left the mall after an hour and went back to the room to finish a file due Tuesday.
But that means I earned logging off at 4, getting a mimosa from downstairs, and taking a bubble bath in this fuck-off huge tub 😍🛀🍾
But that means I earned logging off at 4, getting a mimosa from downstairs, and taking a bubble bath in this fuck-off huge tub 😍🛀🍾
November 7, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Ok I left the mall after an hour and went back to the room to finish a file due Tuesday.
But that means I earned logging off at 4, getting a mimosa from downstairs, and taking a bubble bath in this fuck-off huge tub 😍🛀🍾
But that means I earned logging off at 4, getting a mimosa from downstairs, and taking a bubble bath in this fuck-off huge tub 😍🛀🍾
Omg fine I’ll go to the mall (anything is better then work when I’m theoretically off)
November 7, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Omg fine I’ll go to the mall (anything is better then work when I’m theoretically off)
I’m in Irving/ Farmers Branch (not Dallas proper) and was planning on dropping Hubs off then exploring the area but the most exciting thing I can find to do is go back to the hotel and work remotely.
We have plenty of Ultas and Marshalls in the suburb I live in, thanks ☹️
We have plenty of Ultas and Marshalls in the suburb I live in, thanks ☹️
November 7, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I’m in Irving/ Farmers Branch (not Dallas proper) and was planning on dropping Hubs off then exploring the area but the most exciting thing I can find to do is go back to the hotel and work remotely.
We have plenty of Ultas and Marshalls in the suburb I live in, thanks ☹️
We have plenty of Ultas and Marshalls in the suburb I live in, thanks ☹️