Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
@johnnymortiz.bsky.social
Just a guy who wants to write creature features. Into monsters, aliens, death metal, collectibles, books, film/tv, and spooky things. IG: iamnotthejuan
Pinned
@shannonandswift.bsky.social Have you seen the Valentine’s Day cards 20th Century is posting about SEND HELP?
Brilliant! Hahahaha
Brilliant! Hahahaha
February 13, 2026 at 5:48 PM
@shannonandswift.bsky.social Have you seen the Valentine’s Day cards 20th Century is posting about SEND HELP?
Brilliant! Hahahaha
Brilliant! Hahahaha
Out today on Hulu/Disney+!
Watch the hell out of it. Then watch it again. And again. And then again.
Want the numbers to shine, because Johnny needs more PREDATOR movies made!
Watch the hell out of it. Then watch it again. And again. And then again.
Want the numbers to shine, because Johnny needs more PREDATOR movies made!
February 12, 2026 at 8:36 PM
Out today on Hulu/Disney+!
Watch the hell out of it. Then watch it again. And again. And then again.
Want the numbers to shine, because Johnny needs more PREDATOR movies made!
Watch the hell out of it. Then watch it again. And again. And then again.
Want the numbers to shine, because Johnny needs more PREDATOR movies made!
🎶 I just wanna kiss my fish, fuck my truck, jizz in beer. I just wanna lick my grass, kick my dog, jerk off some deer… 🎶
February 12, 2026 at 12:30 PM
🎶 I just wanna kiss my fish, fuck my truck, jizz in beer. I just wanna lick my grass, kick my dog, jerk off some deer… 🎶
Secured my tickets to probably one of the coolest baseball promotions ever.
Fact: I was at this game when the incident occurred. I was all of 7 years of age. I was also at the Robin Ventura fight game and his seventh no-hitter game. Man, what a time!
Fact: I was at this game when the incident occurred. I was all of 7 years of age. I was also at the Robin Ventura fight game and his seventh no-hitter game. Man, what a time!
February 11, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Secured my tickets to probably one of the coolest baseball promotions ever.
Fact: I was at this game when the incident occurred. I was all of 7 years of age. I was also at the Robin Ventura fight game and his seventh no-hitter game. Man, what a time!
Fact: I was at this game when the incident occurred. I was all of 7 years of age. I was also at the Robin Ventura fight game and his seventh no-hitter game. Man, what a time!
Physical media haul from over the weekend.
February 10, 2026 at 1:41 AM
Physical media haul from over the weekend.
Fast food burger chains act as if ketchup is a precious commodity they refuse to part with.
How do you not automatically place packets in the bag? I have fries. OF COURSE I WANT THE FUCKING KETCHUP. IT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC.
How do you not automatically place packets in the bag? I have fries. OF COURSE I WANT THE FUCKING KETCHUP. IT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC.
February 9, 2026 at 11:08 PM
Fast food burger chains act as if ketchup is a precious commodity they refuse to part with.
How do you not automatically place packets in the bag? I have fries. OF COURSE I WANT THE FUCKING KETCHUP. IT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC.
How do you not automatically place packets in the bag? I have fries. OF COURSE I WANT THE FUCKING KETCHUP. IT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC.
Reposted by Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
Imagine being upset by this and thinking you’re the good guys.
February 9, 2026 at 2:33 AM
Imagine being upset by this and thinking you’re the good guys.
I’m just gonna have nachos for dinner, because I’m an adult and no one can stop me.
February 8, 2026 at 11:33 PM
I’m just gonna have nachos for dinner, because I’m an adult and no one can stop me.
Launch her and anyone like her into the fucking sun.
fuck this lady, fuck the nyt reporter, fuck all of this. fuck amazon for introducing the KU page read model that makes this possible, fuck our tech overlords.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/08/b...
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/08/b...
The New Fabio Is Claude
www.nytimes.com
February 8, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Launch her and anyone like her into the fucking sun.
My alarm went off this morning and I was still so sleepy I read this as “Repent” and was like, “oh fuck, it’s that time already? I’ll repent later. Snooze.”
February 7, 2026 at 5:35 PM
My alarm went off this morning and I was still so sleepy I read this as “Repent” and was like, “oh fuck, it’s that time already? I’ll repent later. Snooze.”
February 6, 2026 at 5:12 PM
My favorite movie of 2025 starts streaming on HULU/Disney+ February 12th.
If you didn’t watch it on the big screen, now’s your chance to watch it at home. Give it those views!
I need them to keep making more PREDATOR movies!
If you didn’t watch it on the big screen, now’s your chance to watch it at home. Give it those views!
I need them to keep making more PREDATOR movies!
February 5, 2026 at 5:59 PM
My favorite movie of 2025 starts streaming on HULU/Disney+ February 12th.
If you didn’t watch it on the big screen, now’s your chance to watch it at home. Give it those views!
I need them to keep making more PREDATOR movies!
If you didn’t watch it on the big screen, now’s your chance to watch it at home. Give it those views!
I need them to keep making more PREDATOR movies!
Hey, it’s rough out there. Have to keep all my options open.
February 3, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Hey, it’s rough out there. Have to keep all my options open.
Wish I had ordered this sooner for the really cold freeze we had here, but glad to finally have it. Thanks, @cavitycolors.com
February 3, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Wish I had ordered this sooner for the really cold freeze we had here, but glad to finally have it. Thanks, @cavitycolors.com
Another day of recovery, another day of gaming.
February 1, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Another day of recovery, another day of gaming.
Due to my illness, I unfortunately could not make it to the theater this weekend. But if you, dear friends, have the energy and means, go support this original horror right now!
I’m sure @shannonandswift.bsky.social would be eternally grateful for your support.
I’m sure @shannonandswift.bsky.social would be eternally grateful for your support.
February 1, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Due to my illness, I unfortunately could not make it to the theater this weekend. But if you, dear friends, have the energy and means, go support this original horror right now!
I’m sure @shannonandswift.bsky.social would be eternally grateful for your support.
I’m sure @shannonandswift.bsky.social would be eternally grateful for your support.
Reposted by Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
BREAKING: Democrat Christian Menefee wins special election for Texas U.S. House seat, narrowing GOP's slim majority.
Democrat Christian Menefee wins election for US House, narrowing GOP's slim majority
Democrat Christian Menefee has won a Texas U.S. House seat in a special election that will narrow Republicans’ already-slim majority.
bit.ly
February 1, 2026 at 4:06 AM
BREAKING: Democrat Christian Menefee wins special election for Texas U.S. House seat, narrowing GOP's slim majority.
Oh, cool, so my shithead of a MAGA neighbor can just call on me because I’m brown and he hates my fucking guts.
Nice. Very nice.
America is Nazi Germany.
Nice. Very nice.
America is Nazi Germany.
January 31, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Oh, cool, so my shithead of a MAGA neighbor can just call on me because I’m brown and he hates my fucking guts.
Nice. Very nice.
America is Nazi Germany.
Nice. Very nice.
America is Nazi Germany.
I may not be good at golf, but at least I have a Predator club cover.
January 31, 2026 at 2:01 AM
I may not be good at golf, but at least I have a Predator club cover.
Reposted by Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
As good an illustration as any that "woke" for these folks just means "non-white people are allowed to exist."
Tuberville: "Unfortunately we've got the Woke Bowl, because we're getting more and more woke. We got Bad Bunny or Bad Rabbit at halftime. I'll be watching the TPUSA halftime show. It's just unfortunate we've gotten to this point."
January 29, 2026 at 10:49 PM
As good an illustration as any that "woke" for these folks just means "non-white people are allowed to exist."
Bahahahahahahaha!
This is the funniest shit! I needed this chuckle. Marshawn (BEASTMODE) Lynch & Squire Cuz need a Game of Thrones spinoff.
Source:
www.instagram.com/beastmode?ig...
Source:
www.instagram.com/beastmode?ig...
January 30, 2026 at 3:25 PM
Bahahahahahahaha!
THE WITCHER 3 sure is a long game.
January 30, 2026 at 3:44 AM
THE WITCHER 3 sure is a long game.
Reposted by Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
The people defending the murder of Alex Pretti are Exhibit A of why you can never appeal to MAGA’s sense of humanity. It doesn’t exist.
January 26, 2026 at 1:15 AM
The people defending the murder of Alex Pretti are Exhibit A of why you can never appeal to MAGA’s sense of humanity. It doesn’t exist.
Reposted by Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
The killing of Alex Pretti is a heartbreaking tragedy. It should also be a wake-up call to every American, regardless of party, that many of our core values as a nation are increasingly under assault.
January 25, 2026 at 5:39 PM
The killing of Alex Pretti is a heartbreaking tragedy. It should also be a wake-up call to every American, regardless of party, that many of our core values as a nation are increasingly under assault.
Reposted by Juan (Johnny) Ortiz
Let me preface this by saying I'm fine and all I need is ibuprofen, but today I have had:
- an ambulance
- two ECGs
- an x-ray
- four blood tests
over the course of about five hours, on a Sunday, for zero pounds (£0). Thank you, the NHS: everyone should have healthcare this good, free at delivery.
- an ambulance
- two ECGs
- an x-ray
- four blood tests
over the course of about five hours, on a Sunday, for zero pounds (£0). Thank you, the NHS: everyone should have healthcare this good, free at delivery.
January 25, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Let me preface this by saying I'm fine and all I need is ibuprofen, but today I have had:
- an ambulance
- two ECGs
- an x-ray
- four blood tests
over the course of about five hours, on a Sunday, for zero pounds (£0). Thank you, the NHS: everyone should have healthcare this good, free at delivery.
- an ambulance
- two ECGs
- an x-ray
- four blood tests
over the course of about five hours, on a Sunday, for zero pounds (£0). Thank you, the NHS: everyone should have healthcare this good, free at delivery.