John Moynes
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johnmoynes.bsky.social
John Moynes
@johnmoynes.bsky.social
Poet, comedian, tall
If you watch the Rumble in the Jungle backwards it's an unboxing video.
January 3, 2026 at 1:49 PM
The correct term is "evidence."
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella says people should move beyond calling AI 'slop'

"We need to get beyond the arguments of slop vs sophistication and develop a new equilibrium ... that accounts for humans being equipped with these new cognitive amplifier tools as we relate to each other"
January 3, 2026 at 9:53 AM
I hate waking up with a hangover and getting an email saying I bet $200,000 on an invasion of Venezuela.
January 3, 2026 at 9:33 AM
Dry January is offensive to fish.
January 3, 2026 at 9:26 AM
Reposted by John Moynes
Here’s to pulling out by the roots all that doesn’t nourish. May we garden our lives to bloom.
January 2, 2026 at 9:44 PM
This this this is why I paint toy soldiers.
I say this often but it bears repeating: if you make your money from creating art then you NEED to find an art or craft where you just do it for fun and don't try to be perfect or make any money from it, and when anyone tells you to monetise it you say 'No', because otherwise your soul will die.
Have needle. Have thread. Have scraps of paper. Have free will. Have made a notebook.
January 2, 2026 at 9:47 PM
FACT: Early cameras required up to 15 minutes exposure under legislation to prevent early upskirt pics.
January 2, 2026 at 9:10 PM
You'll be the next Bernard Manning.
Forget insults, what’s the most unhinged *compliment* you’ve ever received?
January 2, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Yesterday I heard a man, who I know for a fact is not a vegetarian, say that he doesn't eat sausages. Any kind, ever. That is deeply weird.
January 2, 2026 at 3:56 PM
It's amazing to think that over a thousand years ago the Chinese could make a road out of silk.
January 2, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Remember when Budweisser did the wassuuppp ad and it was so annoying you can't get Budweisser on tap in Ireland anymore?
January 2, 2026 at 2:57 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
Es ist wieder soweit! It's time to take down and responsibly dispose of your xmas tree. Please consider the Christmas tree cannon
January 2, 2026 at 12:42 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
New line of iced kittens available in Tesco apparently 😉
January 1, 2026 at 9:32 PM
They should upgrade Tuesdays to Tuesday 2.0, a much more efficient day.
January 2, 2026 at 1:32 PM
My grandfather used to love bringing his cattle to the Data Fair.
"it's essential to rural Ireland" has become a floating signifier you can use to argue against anything, no matter how nonsensical. Banning fox hunting, doing anything at all for the environment, regulating short-term rental

I'm sure we'll hear that data centres are essential to rural Ireland soon
Healy-Rae urges ‘serious rethink’ of planned short-term lets crackdown
January 2, 2026 at 1:14 PM
Experts now believe that neolithic people built large stone circles because they were idiots.
January 2, 2026 at 1:07 PM
Even if you could travel back in time how would you recognise baby Hitler without the moustache? In this TED Talk I will...
January 2, 2026 at 12:47 PM
If you're new to conspiracy theories it's best to start small. Try claiming that only one of the moon landings was faked.
January 2, 2026 at 11:59 AM
January 2, 2026 at 11:11 AM
Strewth, would you look at the time. The middle of the summer and not a Matilda in the house waltzed.
January 2, 2026 at 11:08 AM
Reposted by John Moynes
1892! That must be one of the oldest vape shops in the UK.
January 2, 2026 at 10:58 AM
Reposted by John Moynes
January 2, 2026 at 10:51 AM
In my day flightless birds had the decency to feel embarrassed about their failure.
January 2, 2026 at 10:55 AM
An app that connects your kindle to the weather forecast so the last paragraph of The Dead accurately describes the weather in Ireland at the time of reading.
It's what Joyce would have wanted.
January 2, 2026 at 10:49 AM
When emailing a ransom note I go to a newspaper's website and copy and paste all the words I need.
January 2, 2026 at 10:25 AM