Jess Crayons
@jesscrayons.bsky.social
Poetess in the PNW. Cat fancier, Anglophile, karaoke queen, arts'n'crafts nerd, Wikipedia browser, vaccine fangirl. Mother to Róisín "Raisin" Friday, a 5yo feral foster rescue tabby girl. 🐈⬛
Look at all this fruit! 🍋🍓🍌🍊🍒🍑🥝🥭
Look at all this fruit! 🍋🍓🍌🍊🍒🍑🥝🥭
Pinned
Jess Crayons
@jesscrayons.bsky.social
· Jan 22
Howdy! I'm Jess Crayons (she/her). Facts:
- biromantic demisexual queer girl
- mental health advocate
- self-published poet
- friend to all #cats
- physical manifestation of a rainbow 🌈
- karaoke enthusiast
- avid collager
- erstwhile Midwesterner/Southerner (OK>NE>OR)
- taker of #terriblepictures
- biromantic demisexual queer girl
- mental health advocate
- self-published poet
- friend to all #cats
- physical manifestation of a rainbow 🌈
- karaoke enthusiast
- avid collager
- erstwhile Midwesterner/Southerner (OK>NE>OR)
- taker of #terriblepictures
Is my 2% milk... fatshaming whole milk??? Is this really what late-stage capitalism has come to?!
December 12, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Is my 2% milk... fatshaming whole milk??? Is this really what late-stage capitalism has come to?!
I need to go to the coast more often. The Oregon Coast is genuinely the most beautiful place I've ever seen or could imagine. Possibly only tied with Every Oregon Forest and All Cascade Mountains. It's pretty here, is my point. 🌊🌲🗻
At Depoe Bay today, with @sallyfisherprice.bsky.social. Aye, it was a feisty ocean beyond the sea wall and the waves were singing the song of rock slaughter, even if it takes a generation, or ten...
December 9, 2025 at 7:22 AM
I need to go to the coast more often. The Oregon Coast is genuinely the most beautiful place I've ever seen or could imagine. Possibly only tied with Every Oregon Forest and All Cascade Mountains. It's pretty here, is my point. 🌊🌲🗻
Oh no Portland, Oregon, is also extremely damp tonight due to an atmospheric river. Basements are flooding! It is Too Much Rain and I LOVE rain (it's one of the main reasons I moved up here bc I'm a gloomy bitch who disdains daylight and sunshine). 🌧️
Britain and Ireland have issued some of their strongest weather warnings as forecasters urged residents to brace for powerful winds and heavy rain from a storm that is expected to lash both countries from Tuesday through Wednesday.
Storm Bram’s Heavy Rain and Strong Winds Could Disrupt Travel Across Ireland and U.K.
Forecasters warned of wind gusts up to 90 miles per hour and more than half a month’s rainfall in less than a day
nyti.ms
December 9, 2025 at 7:17 AM
Oh no Portland, Oregon, is also extremely damp tonight due to an atmospheric river. Basements are flooding! It is Too Much Rain and I LOVE rain (it's one of the main reasons I moved up here bc I'm a gloomy bitch who disdains daylight and sunshine). 🌧️
Reposted by Jess Crayons
Sabrina Carpenter is making up for lost time with Seth Meyers. The "Manchild" singer, who made her first-ever appearance on 'Late Night with Seth Meyers' Monday night is apparently going day drinking with Meyers Tuesday, for a piece that will air next week.
Seth Meyers to Go ‘Day Drinking’ With Sabrina Carpenter
Sabrina Carpenter is making up for lost time with Seth Meyers. The "Manchild" singer, who made her first-ever appearance on 'Late Night with Seth Meyers' Monday night is apparently going day drinking with Meyers Tuesday, for a piece that will air next week.
dlvr.it
December 9, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Sabrina Carpenter is making up for lost time with Seth Meyers. The "Manchild" singer, who made her first-ever appearance on 'Late Night with Seth Meyers' Monday night is apparently going day drinking with Meyers Tuesday, for a piece that will air next week.
idgaf about these two especially, but WHAT is Timmy T wearing bc I swore it was a frying pan at first scroll. I'm torn between princess hand-mirror, a case for one giant lollipop or a decorative paddle.
December 9, 2025 at 7:13 AM
idgaf about these two especially, but WHAT is Timmy T wearing bc I swore it was a frying pan at first scroll. I'm torn between princess hand-mirror, a case for one giant lollipop or a decorative paddle.
This administration is going full Ebenezer Scrooge with its cravenness & greed. I bet most of the secular and Christian populace watches a version of A Christmas Carol every December, but do they take it to heart? "If they would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population."
November 9, 2025 at 11:15 PM
This administration is going full Ebenezer Scrooge with its cravenness & greed. I bet most of the secular and Christian populace watches a version of A Christmas Carol every December, but do they take it to heart? "If they would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population."
bless this ridiculous city. only Portland could decide that the best response to the current administration is to rally everyone to ride around nude to scare away the National Guard/ICE. honestly surprised it didn't happen sooner. #worldnakedbikeride #pdx
October 1, 2025 at 11:53 PM
bless this ridiculous city. only Portland could decide that the best response to the current administration is to rally everyone to ride around nude to scare away the National Guard/ICE. honestly surprised it didn't happen sooner. #worldnakedbikeride #pdx
Reposted by Jess Crayons
I actually respect hating Andrew Cuomo so much that you call a press conference to explain how much you hate him
NYC Mayor Eric Adams: I want to be clear with you: Andrew Cuomo is a snake and a liar. I am in this race, and I'm the only one that can beat Mamdani.
September 5, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I actually respect hating Andrew Cuomo so much that you call a press conference to explain how much you hate him
I have not heard a good Ween song yet, I'm sorry
September 6, 2025 at 8:09 AM
I have not heard a good Ween song yet, I'm sorry
so entertained by the Wuthering Heights debate bc the movie just feels like what we deserve in 2025 to me. like yeah, we have radioactive wasp nests and negative employment and an unvaccinated Florida so we have well & truly earned Wuthering Brat Summer starring Jacob Elordi. #wutheringheights
September 6, 2025 at 8:07 AM
so entertained by the Wuthering Heights debate bc the movie just feels like what we deserve in 2025 to me. like yeah, we have radioactive wasp nests and negative employment and an unvaccinated Florida so we have well & truly earned Wuthering Brat Summer starring Jacob Elordi. #wutheringheights
the dopamine hit I'm gonna get when I finally untangle this skein of yarn & wind it all up into this tidy little ball. 🧶
August 12, 2025 at 9:01 AM
the dopamine hit I'm gonna get when I finally untangle this skein of yarn & wind it all up into this tidy little ball. 🧶
Chuck Schumer's imaginary friends "The Baileys" sound like a D&D character that someone's been workshopping to perfection for 20 years.
August 11, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Chuck Schumer's imaginary friends "The Baileys" sound like a D&D character that someone's been workshopping to perfection for 20 years.
The Battle of Britpop (14 August 1995 - 11 July 2025) was a 29-year cold war between the English bands Blur and Oasis. Blur won the initial battle, but leader Damon Albarn finally conceded defeat after three decades of simmering mutual resentment.
Damon Albarn "happy to concede defeat" in legendary Britpop rivalry: "Oasis won the battle, the war, the campaign, everything"
Damon Albarn has happily conceded defeat in the great battle between Oasis and Blur amid the Gallagher brothers' massive reunion.
www.nme.com
July 15, 2025 at 8:06 AM
The Battle of Britpop (14 August 1995 - 11 July 2025) was a 29-year cold war between the English bands Blur and Oasis. Blur won the initial battle, but leader Damon Albarn finally conceded defeat after three decades of simmering mutual resentment.
As an avid U2 fan of 25 years (I'm only 39; got into them as early as I could have with "Beautiful Day"), I'm forever asking people what their favorite band is and the most common answer, to my chagrin, is "I don't have one." I just don't understand how it's possible. I have favorite everythings.
June 28, 2025 at 9:14 PM
As an avid U2 fan of 25 years (I'm only 39; got into them as early as I could have with "Beautiful Day"), I'm forever asking people what their favorite band is and the most common answer, to my chagrin, is "I don't have one." I just don't understand how it's possible. I have favorite everythings.
The right would love it if you would just do whatever they tell you to do: get & stay married at all costs, procreate no matter whether you want to, de-transition, suppress your true feelings, obey, obey, obey. It's a very uncool mindset to have.
this comment just made all of conservatives’ weird and conflicting attitudes towards sex make sense to me
June 28, 2025 at 8:46 PM
The right would love it if you would just do whatever they tell you to do: get & stay married at all costs, procreate no matter whether you want to, de-transition, suppress your true feelings, obey, obey, obey. It's a very uncool mindset to have.
Been seeing some Christian-right conversion therapy malarkey in the news. I'm an atheist, but I don't think Jesus Christ was discriminatory. He made a whole thing out of accepting people as they are. The logical conclusion to draw from the Bible is that Jesus accepts the queers, too. Don't change.
June 28, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Been seeing some Christian-right conversion therapy malarkey in the news. I'm an atheist, but I don't think Jesus Christ was discriminatory. He made a whole thing out of accepting people as they are. The logical conclusion to draw from the Bible is that Jesus accepts the queers, too. Don't change.
June 28, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Reposted by Jess Crayons
Watching vevo90s and I can't believe whoever wrote "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" (would bet money that Diane Warren was involved) allowed Steven Tyler to make the screeching caterewauls he made on it. It's musically a pretty song. I heard it too much 26 years ago. But now I'm just like... the VOICE
June 11, 2025 at 10:37 AM
Watching vevo90s and I can't believe whoever wrote "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" (would bet money that Diane Warren was involved) allowed Steven Tyler to make the screeching caterewauls he made on it. It's musically a pretty song. I heard it too much 26 years ago. But now I'm just like... the VOICE
This is not a big issue at all right now, but I feel personally affronted every time the Sauvage cologne ad with everyone's least-favorite erstwhile faux-pirate in it airs. I don't want to look at that greasy asshole. How is he supposed to sell me something that theoretically smells GOOD?
June 11, 2025 at 10:30 AM
This is not a big issue at all right now, but I feel personally affronted every time the Sauvage cologne ad with everyone's least-favorite erstwhile faux-pirate in it airs. I don't want to look at that greasy asshole. How is he supposed to sell me something that theoretically smells GOOD?
I think the thing that frustrates me about TikTok dances is that it feels like we constantly have a new "Macarena" to learn as a culture and I think that's fine once in a while, but it's an endless stream of 8 moves to do in order.
May 23, 2025 at 8:35 AM
I think the thing that frustrates me about TikTok dances is that it feels like we constantly have a new "Macarena" to learn as a culture and I think that's fine once in a while, but it's an endless stream of 8 moves to do in order.
omg "Fish Doorbell" needs to be up on Spotify. I want to sing it at karaoke. Thank you, Mario, for this heartfelt gift. #mario #lwt #fishdoorbell #johnoliver
Here’s R&B icon Mario helping set the mood for spawning fish in the Netherlands. Now you can do your part to bring fish together at showmeyournetherlands.com.
April 30, 2025 at 8:56 AM
omg "Fish Doorbell" needs to be up on Spotify. I want to sing it at karaoke. Thank you, Mario, for this heartfelt gift. #mario #lwt #fishdoorbell #johnoliver
Reposted by Jess Crayons
Sometimes you don’t find your spirit animal as much as it finds you
April 30, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Sometimes you don’t find your spirit animal as much as it finds you
Things I love to do: listen to INXS late at night & lament that I'll never see them live bc I was born too late & all my fangirling over Michael Hutchence, the world's sexiest & most vocally gifted frontman ever (I will not argue with you about this firmly-held opinion), is just cast into the void.
April 24, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Things I love to do: listen to INXS late at night & lament that I'll never see them live bc I was born too late & all my fangirling over Michael Hutchence, the world's sexiest & most vocally gifted frontman ever (I will not argue with you about this firmly-held opinion), is just cast into the void.