A. Parise
jerseyoutwest.bsky.social
A. Parise
@jerseyoutwest.bsky.social
I like soup. Sci-fi writer. Data architect. BLM. ACAB includes AI. Plants, rocks, cats, occasional hiking pics. He/him. Located in sunny NE Portland, OR.

Also I wrote this li’l thing: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CKXS61S
A couple years ago i did a full, step-by-step “how to make a turducken” post on facebook, with pictures of every step of the gross process. They’re not hard, just time consuming, and they are *delicious*. If you’ve wanted to make one: www.facebook.com/share/17duYJ...
November 15, 2025 at 6:05 PM
One the one hand its sad to see a long-running local brand die a sudden death, on the other hand their beer blew/contained chunks.
November 14, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Alright. I’m happy with my Songs About Boats playlist now. Took a couple passes to get even the whiff of yacht rock out of it. Here are two different providers:

open.spotify.com/playlist/6nN...

youtube.com/playlist?lis...
November 14, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Back on my bullshit (showing up at a chili cookoff with hotdogs).
November 14, 2025 at 1:10 AM
God i love this city. Gorgeous. Unstoppable. Unmatched.
November 14, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Alright here’s what i’ve got so far, what should i add? I’m not puttin goddamn “i’m on a boat” on it.

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Downeaster Alexa
Barrett’s Privateers
Sloop John B
Wellerman
Southern Cross
Christian Island
Bonnie Ship The Diamond
Wooden Ships
Fisherman’s Blues
Orinoco Flow
I think i need a “songs about boats for adults” playlist. I wonder if one exists.
November 13, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I know i’m not really going out on a limb here, but i’m listening to a lot of Gordon Lightfoot today and he really is at his best when he’s writing about forms of transportation. Even his love songs that involve trains are better than the ones without.
November 13, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Reposted by A. Parise
if you're cool and you live in san francisco and your name is k wilson- your time is now
San Francisco needs to step up and get on the west coast k wilson train
November 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
After a couple days of hippies not stealing those amanita muscarias under cover of night, i decided, hey, i’m hippie!

But i grabbed some to make spore prints, because that’s more fun than gettin blitzed. I think i left them too long, but its still pretty.
November 13, 2025 at 8:24 AM
Reposted by A. Parise
I really need to get to bed, but I just poked my head out the back door again. This is the view from my deck. All of this is looking south. When the geomagnetic storms are like this, the oval overshoots me and stretches into the US, which is why so many are seeing it tonight. #aurora
November 12, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Jesus christ one of my new teammates just casually mentioned he gave gab money in 2020 and showed off his “the media is the virus” t-shirt in a multi-person meeting.

I cannot.
November 11, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Some weird synthesis of the four in the bottom left corner. I guess i’m… well, not triangulating, more like quadrangulating on something.
Turns out the real political spectrum is just how people feel about free parking 😂

Tag yourself!
November 11, 2025 at 4:08 AM
I hope Schumer steps on a physical rake to match the metaphorical one he just smashed.
November 10, 2025 at 4:04 AM
I missed skeeting for kickoff because i was holding a baby but GO THORNS!!!
November 9, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Reposted by A. Parise
40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion
November 8, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Drove all the way to gd mollalla to a gd dairy that claimed on their website to make butter from gd jersey cow milk and walked in to be told “oh we don’t sell butter” by a surly teen standing under a big sign that said BUTTER.

Its ironic i wanted unsalted butter because I am gd SALTY rn.
November 9, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Reposted by A. Parise
[On the bench today ⚒️ #BehindTheScenes]

Finishing up some #Voyager space probe pendants in sterling silver today 🛰️

Two of these beauties are still unsold and will ship out quickly if you grab one:

🔗 sciencesocks.co/coll...

🔭🧪🐡🎨
November 8, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Its pretty easy to figure out, ever since Woke it’s impossible to get cattle into the ring.
Paul Krugman he ain’t
November 7, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I remember very little from reading James Watson’s memoir except he referred to his college hobby of “birdwatching” many, many times without describing any birds, and it took until maybe the third reference for me to realize he was laughing about being a creepy, creepy creeper.
November 7, 2025 at 9:29 PM
“I, a leopard, would never have imagined that I would eat my own face.”
White House economic ‌adviser Kevin Hassett tells Fox Business that the impact of the government shutdown is far ​worse than expected.
November 7, 2025 at 6:24 PM
“We are pleased to announce the winners of our Mindfulness Competition” i’m sorry i just cannot with this right now
November 7, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Cesar Chavez was quiet, does anyone know how the other schools fared?
November 6, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Reposted by A. Parise
Rep. Yassamin Ansari has set up a table and this sign outside Speaker Johnson’s office.
November 6, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Tl;dr:

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!

GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 6, 2025 at 7:31 PM