Pinned
Jay Tee Lan
@jayteelan.bsky.social
· Dec 28
welp, i guess i've settled in here, so here's how i can be pigeonholed:
- plant nerd
- mycophile
- grew up on IRC and Usenet
- really big faggot
- he/him/they/them
- polyglot (primarily 國語/Mandarin, English, Español)
- recovering pastry chef
- offal enthusiast
- music and audio geek
- weird-brained
- plant nerd
- mycophile
- grew up on IRC and Usenet
- really big faggot
- he/him/they/them
- polyglot (primarily 國語/Mandarin, English, Español)
- recovering pastry chef
- offal enthusiast
- music and audio geek
- weird-brained
73%of New Yorkers' reputation for walking quickly is because we're holding it in. A legit life skill is knowing the cheapest item on the menu of a restaurant so you can get the bathroom code on your receipt.
Mayor Zohran Mamdani and City Council Speaker Julie Menin on Saturday announced an initiative to install more public bathrooms across the city.
January 11, 2026 at 8:26 PM
73%of New Yorkers' reputation for walking quickly is because we're holding it in. A legit life skill is knowing the cheapest item on the menu of a restaurant so you can get the bathroom code on your receipt.
Lukewarm take: it's okay to taste the vegetables in a salad instead of just straight dressing
January 11, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Lukewarm take: it's okay to taste the vegetables in a salad instead of just straight dressing
My Problem With Pop Culture is how heavily "the 90s" leans on Y2K-iMac-teen-pop touchstones instead of flannel-beige-new-jack-swing.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
January 10, 2026 at 5:56 PM
My Problem With Pop Culture is how heavily "the 90s" leans on Y2K-iMac-teen-pop touchstones instead of flannel-beige-new-jack-swing.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
Reposted by Jay Tee Lan
This is not who we are. I became an ICE agent because I truly believed in the value of getting a $50,000 signing bonus to violently assault and terrorize anyone I wanted while never getting in trouble for anything. Being held accountable conflicts strongly with my deeply-held personal beliefs
January 7, 2026 at 10:15 PM
This is not who we are. I became an ICE agent because I truly believed in the value of getting a $50,000 signing bonus to violently assault and terrorize anyone I wanted while never getting in trouble for anything. Being held accountable conflicts strongly with my deeply-held personal beliefs
At last, a jackoff sleeve for dolphins!
Here’s their paper! www.mdpi.com/2077-1312/13...
www.mdpi.com
January 7, 2026 at 11:39 AM
At last, a jackoff sleeve for dolphins!
who are YouTube Playables for? who is actually out there scrolling their feed with too many damn Shorts and podcast clips and taking a sidebar to play some Cut The Rope or Drag Queen Makeover on goddamn *YouTube*?
January 4, 2026 at 11:12 PM
who are YouTube Playables for? who is actually out there scrolling their feed with too many damn Shorts and podcast clips and taking a sidebar to play some Cut The Rope or Drag Queen Makeover on goddamn *YouTube*?
Went to bed before midnight on NYE again even though my natural bedtime is usually around 1-2a. Hell yeah.
January 1, 2026 at 1:38 PM
Went to bed before midnight on NYE again even though my natural bedtime is usually around 1-2a. Hell yeah.
About a year ago, I converted one of my masala dabbas from Indian spices to ones I use in my typical cooking: fennel, coriander, Mexican oregano, chiltepines, star anise, cumin, bay leaf.
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
December 31, 2025 at 3:01 AM
About a year ago, I converted one of my masala dabbas from Indian spices to ones I use in my typical cooking: fennel, coriander, Mexican oregano, chiltepines, star anise, cumin, bay leaf.
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
Sweet, I love waking up to fraudulent activity on my bank card.
December 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Sweet, I love waking up to fraudulent activity on my bank card.
Michael Cera sat at the table next to me and my now-husband on one of our first dates
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 30, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Michael Cera sat at the table next to me and my now-husband on one of our first dates
Adding this to my underappreciated vegetables series
#CruciferCrew
#CruciferCrew
For some of us, every year is the year of the cabbage. Please reply with the best cabbage dish you ate (restaurant or cooked at home) in 2025! www.businessinsider.com/year-of-the-...
2026 will be the year of the cabbage
High-fiber, cheap, and a vessel for flavor, the humble cabbage is popping up on menus and in Pinterest searches.
www.businessinsider.com
December 29, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Adding this to my underappreciated vegetables series
#CruciferCrew
#CruciferCrew
I used to lament the frustrations of being a bottom who's also an ass man, but it turns out I was just looking for my tribe.
December 28, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I used to lament the frustrations of being a bottom who's also an ass man, but it turns out I was just looking for my tribe.
Streaming is for convenience; it's just an open-ended rental. If you haven't downloaded a DRM-free digital file (or acquired physical media that can be ripped to make the same), you don't own shit.
December 27, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Streaming is for convenience; it's just an open-ended rental. If you haven't downloaded a DRM-free digital file (or acquired physical media that can be ripped to make the same), you don't own shit.
When you let all the blood drain out both of your brain cells into your dick at the same time
Reasons why I won't date beige men. I'm not your danger fantasy.
December 27, 2025 at 7:25 PM
When you let all the blood drain out both of your brain cells into your dick at the same time
I'm not a Christmas music person, but I *am* a terrible music person
December 25, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I'm not a Christmas music person, but I *am* a terrible music person
Happy Retail-Workers-Being-Told-They-Shouldn't-Have-To-Work-On-Christmas-By-The-Very-Customers-Patronizing-Their-Place-Of-Work Day to all who celebrate
December 25, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Happy Retail-Workers-Being-Told-They-Shouldn't-Have-To-Work-On-Christmas-By-The-Very-Customers-Patronizing-Their-Place-Of-Work Day to all who celebrate
This is the kind of celebrity content that should be filling up social media, not #ads #sponsored influencer crap
Don’t wanna brag but I’ve made a really phenomenal gravy
December 25, 2025 at 1:55 PM
This is the kind of celebrity content that should be filling up social media, not #ads #sponsored influencer crap
30-minute version of title track say what?
December 24, 2025 at 11:21 PM
30-minute version of title track say what?
They're onto us
✂️ a very specific gay porn site
34 seconds · Clipped by jayteelan · Original video "Stavvy's World #160 - Oops All Santas! Christmas Special w/ Mike Mitchell, Zach Cherry & Jon Gabrus" by Stavvy's World
youtube.com
December 24, 2025 at 10:28 PM
They're onto us
A gangbang porn, but nobody does the tally marks right
December 24, 2025 at 1:50 AM
A gangbang porn, but nobody does the tally marks right
yanno, it feels kinda awesome when het coworkers you've never talked queer shit with still use they/them when referring to you in case notes you'd likely never read.
is this gender euphoria?
is this gender euphoria?
December 22, 2025 at 4:52 PM
yanno, it feels kinda awesome when het coworkers you've never talked queer shit with still use they/them when referring to you in case notes you'd likely never read.
is this gender euphoria?
is this gender euphoria?
Love Is Blind, but there's a glory hole
December 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Love Is Blind, but there's a glory hole
SNL dropping Björk, Kate Bush, and Yoko Ono impressions in 2025 is exactly why we needed gays in the writers' room
Random Duet Christmas Spectacular - SNL
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
youtu.be
December 21, 2025 at 12:49 PM
SNL dropping Björk, Kate Bush, and Yoko Ono impressions in 2025 is exactly why we needed gays in the writers' room
Today's underappreciated vegetable: the parsnip
The carrot's heartier cousin, still with a lovely sweetness. I love 'em roasted with a little maple and whole grain mustard, but they're also great boiled and mashed with other root veg - keep it chunky so they don't all turn into an even mush!
The carrot's heartier cousin, still with a lovely sweetness. I love 'em roasted with a little maple and whole grain mustard, but they're also great boiled and mashed with other root veg - keep it chunky so they don't all turn into an even mush!
December 19, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Today's underappreciated vegetable: the parsnip
The carrot's heartier cousin, still with a lovely sweetness. I love 'em roasted with a little maple and whole grain mustard, but they're also great boiled and mashed with other root veg - keep it chunky so they don't all turn into an even mush!
The carrot's heartier cousin, still with a lovely sweetness. I love 'em roasted with a little maple and whole grain mustard, but they're also great boiled and mashed with other root veg - keep it chunky so they don't all turn into an even mush!
Slimes + mosses = happy
Slime mold, Physarum rubiginosum on moss. NWT, Canada. #slime #fungifriends
December 19, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Slimes + mosses = happy