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Illoumalnati
@illoumalnati.bsky.social
· May 17
This store just went up and an effete-yet-powerful bald man is about to have a frustrating day
Valentine's tradition achieved
February 14, 2026 at 6:12 PM
Valentine's tradition achieved
Reposted by Illoumalnati
the 100th anniversary. the year of the homeboy
huh i thought "home boy" originated in the 1940s, but heres an instance from a movie in 1926. thats what that says, right?
February 14, 2026 at 4:51 AM
the 100th anniversary. the year of the homeboy
(Kent Brockman voice) The locals call it "County Wicklow," but it also goes by the more frightening name of KILL MOUNTAIN
February 14, 2026 at 11:02 AM
(Kent Brockman voice) The locals call it "County Wicklow," but it also goes by the more frightening name of KILL MOUNTAIN
They should have Ethan Phillips record like 400 hours of dialogue and he just never stops talking the whole game. You're trying to mine resources and quell discontent among the Maquis crew members and Neelix just keeps going, there's no soundtrack, just Neelix talking at you like Abe Simpson.
This game releases in a couple weeks and this seems like a bad review but it’s also kind of exactly what I want from it
February 13, 2026 at 2:29 PM
They should have Ethan Phillips record like 400 hours of dialogue and he just never stops talking the whole game. You're trying to mine resources and quell discontent among the Maquis crew members and Neelix just keeps going, there's no soundtrack, just Neelix talking at you like Abe Simpson.
Dropping off and picking up my daughter and her friend at a disco tonight, what do we think the odds are that either of these young women will be willing to take a coat in the sub-zero national yellow alert freezing weather warning
February 13, 2026 at 7:38 AM
Dropping off and picking up my daughter and her friend at a disco tonight, what do we think the odds are that either of these young women will be willing to take a coat in the sub-zero national yellow alert freezing weather warning
I think it's high time we start expecting dentists to find some non-drill-based solutions to problems.
February 12, 2026 at 1:10 PM
I think it's high time we start expecting dentists to find some non-drill-based solutions to problems.
Chicken thighs, tomatoes, and some orzo in a slow cooker, you're like 90% of the way to an S-tier meal, with tons of options to turn the flavor dial from tangy to savory to spicy.
February 11, 2026 at 4:36 PM
Chicken thighs, tomatoes, and some orzo in a slow cooker, you're like 90% of the way to an S-tier meal, with tons of options to turn the flavor dial from tangy to savory to spicy.
10 year ago my daughter used to watch Sarah and Duck, and now when I slice up shallots I have to whisper "I am NOT a bad person"
February 11, 2026 at 4:21 PM
10 year ago my daughter used to watch Sarah and Duck, and now when I slice up shallots I have to whisper "I am NOT a bad person"
Every couple months an American account discovers the existence of spice bags and becomes a crazy evangelist, pleading with their countrymen to understand how good they are. And they're right. Spice bags are amazing. The Irish have captured a miracle and hoarded it jealously.
While Buffalo wings are now a ubiquitous app all over the country, not every regional food goes national. What cuisine from YOUR region do you most want to share with the country/world?
February 10, 2026 at 8:14 PM
Every couple months an American account discovers the existence of spice bags and becomes a crazy evangelist, pleading with their countrymen to understand how good they are. And they're right. Spice bags are amazing. The Irish have captured a miracle and hoarded it jealously.
I'd be awful at running a nostalgia account because when I try to do a "things only 90s kids remember" bit it's always stuff like "Old El Paso just straight-up lifted a Simpsons bit for an ad campaign, like nobody was gonna notice they stole a joke from one of the most popular shows in the country"
February 10, 2026 at 7:54 PM
I'd be awful at running a nostalgia account because when I try to do a "things only 90s kids remember" bit it's always stuff like "Old El Paso just straight-up lifted a Simpsons bit for an ad campaign, like nobody was gonna notice they stole a joke from one of the most popular shows in the country"
(pulling at tie, flop-sweating) I tell ya, I get no respect. The New York Times ran a story about me being the only guy Epstein told to keep *away* from his island! I told them hey, what about Musk? They said that's right, you don't smell too good either!
February 10, 2026 at 3:09 PM
(pulling at tie, flop-sweating) I tell ya, I get no respect. The New York Times ran a story about me being the only guy Epstein told to keep *away* from his island! I told them hey, what about Musk? They said that's right, you don't smell too good either!
Reposted by Illoumalnati
I have never once thought through or about a post
February 9, 2026 at 8:54 PM
I have never once thought through or about a post
I feel like if Eurovision was even slightly on America's radar, the Doctor Who Eurovision episode would be seen as a permanent embarrassment, up there with Discovery repeatedly glazing Elon Musk.
February 9, 2026 at 9:16 AM
I feel like if Eurovision was even slightly on America's radar, the Doctor Who Eurovision episode would be seen as a permanent embarrassment, up there with Discovery repeatedly glazing Elon Musk.
Is this because of the one Epstein joke that got some traction in Bluewavetown
February 9, 2026 at 7:29 AM
Is this because of the one Epstein joke that got some traction in Bluewavetown
Okay come on now
Jeffrey Epstein died on August 10th. In the Epstein files, there is what appears to be a draft DOJ press release announcing his death that is dated August 9th.
(It’s here: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)
(It’s here: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)
The release on Saturday, August 10th appears to have two differences. The date, and the addition of “of an apparent suicide” www.justice.gov/usao-sdny/pr...
February 8, 2026 at 5:41 PM
Okay come on now
Reposted by Illoumalnati
the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style
MY KIDS: so why are there muppets in the AUDIENCE
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
February 8, 2026 at 6:22 AM
the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style
I'd be the worst drug addict. I took codeine for like two days because of my root canal, and I'm like "ohhhh my tummy hurts"
February 8, 2026 at 12:16 PM
I'd be the worst drug addict. I took codeine for like two days because of my root canal, and I'm like "ohhhh my tummy hurts"
Reposted by Illoumalnati
Watching Bake-Off as a Yank is so awesome. You can understand what they call pudding, biscuits, etc. but suddenly they’re saying, “Toby’s cake will have all the classic Gingham Day flavors, in the form of Swat the Grump,” and then they make like a carnival game where you shoot lobsters with a cannon
December 11, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Watching Bake-Off as a Yank is so awesome. You can understand what they call pudding, biscuits, etc. but suddenly they’re saying, “Toby’s cake will have all the classic Gingham Day flavors, in the form of Swat the Grump,” and then they make like a carnival game where you shoot lobsters with a cannon
I know this isn't an actual proposal, it's the head of a trade association saying this would kick ass, but he's correct, this would kick ass.
Chris Williamson proposes Neom-informed Loop to connect northern British cities
Chris Williamson has proposed linking nine northern British cities with The Loop – a raised high-speed railway informed by Neom's megacity The Line.
www.dezeen.com
February 7, 2026 at 9:23 PM
I know this isn't an actual proposal, it's the head of a trade association saying this would kick ass, but he's correct, this would kick ass.
I love this bag so much
February 7, 2026 at 4:48 PM
I love this bag so much
The Trump formula is 40% Adolf Hitler/40% Joan Rivers/20% Charles Foster Kane
Acive duty military are being ordered to buy a ticket to Melania and watch it, whether they want to, or not. www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/mil...
Military Pressured to See ‘Melania’ Against Their Will
A military group has evidence of troops being ordered into theater—the movie theater.
www.thedailybeast.com
February 7, 2026 at 11:27 AM
The Trump formula is 40% Adolf Hitler/40% Joan Rivers/20% Charles Foster Kane
Reposted by Illoumalnati
nice to meet you held in contempt, I’m dad
February 6, 2026 at 8:46 PM
nice to meet you held in contempt, I’m dad
I love watching three blind European guys feel their way around then try to describe the food they're pretty sure you get in America
February 6, 2026 at 6:23 PM
I love watching three blind European guys feel their way around then try to describe the food they're pretty sure you get in America
Enjoying some dark fantasy
February 6, 2026 at 12:40 PM
Enjoying some dark fantasy