Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
@hazelebaumgartner.bsky.social
Artist, author, musician, witch, and Hot Wheels collector. I make music under the name Hazel Bee and write books under the name Hazel E. Baumgartner, which is also my name.
30, she/they, 99% lesbian, USA 🇺🇸🏳️🌈
Buy my book: https://a.co/d/6Aanpc7
30, she/they, 99% lesbian, USA 🇺🇸🏳️🌈
Buy my book: https://a.co/d/6Aanpc7
Pinned
Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
@hazelebaumgartner.bsky.social
· Aug 19
My pinned post disappeared again so HI! If you like gorey monster stories, suspenseful mysteries, supernatural thrillers, cryptid horror, and books where the killer in the woods is a metaphor for grief, you should check out my debut novel, "The Woods: A Horror Novel", out now!
a.co/d/6dTmubc
a.co/d/6dTmubc
I've said it before I'll say it again. In order to support Trump at this point, you must be either unfathomably evil, or unfathomably stupid, and I don't respect either.
As I’ve said many times, the Deplorables who support a pedophile child rapist don’t even matter. You shouldn’t have a say in how this country is run just based on your naivety and stupidity.
Get fucked, MAGA.
Get fucked, MAGA.
December 30, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I've said it before I'll say it again. In order to support Trump at this point, you must be either unfathomably evil, or unfathomably stupid, and I don't respect either.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
I've updated my blog post on Amazon's new Ask This Book feature. Possibly in response to concerns from the Authors Guild (not to mention widespread media coverage), Amazon has tweaked the feature to be less expansive writerbeware.blog/2025/12/12/k...
Kindle's New Gen AI-Powered "Ask This Book" Feature Raises Rights Concerns - Writer Beware
In a recent press release, Amazon noted that some new features were coming to Kindle. We’re adding new AI-powered reading features that preserve the magic of reading on Kindle. Story So Far lets you c...
writerbeware.blog
December 30, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I've updated my blog post on Amazon's new Ask This Book feature. Possibly in response to concerns from the Authors Guild (not to mention widespread media coverage), Amazon has tweaked the feature to be less expansive writerbeware.blog/2025/12/12/k...
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
December 30, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
People think it's appropriate to tell a 20-something without kids "oh you'll change your mind and want kids someday", but I've never seen someone tell a young mom in her 20s "oh you'll change your mind and not want kids someday."
December 28, 2025 at 4:11 PM
People think it's appropriate to tell a 20-something without kids "oh you'll change your mind and want kids someday", but I've never seen someone tell a young mom in her 20s "oh you'll change your mind and not want kids someday."
She just like me fr
December 28, 2025 at 3:16 PM
She just like me fr
Thanks for 777 followers on here! Just two months after I hit 666 during my Halloween party.
December 27, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Thanks for 777 followers on here! Just two months after I hit 666 during my Halloween party.
Since I don't really write fantasty this feels like cheating, but there's enough fantasy elements to Heliruna that I'll say it counts. Owls and other birds of prey factor heavily into the plot.
It's Animals Week! Tell me about an animal in your world that can fly, #DecemberWorldbuilders! Once again, you define what an animal is for the prompt. If you want to include sapient animal-people or semi-sapient creatures of questionable 'animalhood' that is up to YOU
December 27, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Since I don't really write fantasty this feels like cheating, but there's enough fantasy elements to Heliruna that I'll say it counts. Owls and other birds of prey factor heavily into the plot.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
“Single-issue voters are demanding purity!!1!1!!!”
And the “single-issue” is human rights.
And the “single-issue” is human rights.
December 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
“Single-issue voters are demanding purity!!1!1!!!”
And the “single-issue” is human rights.
And the “single-issue” is human rights.
My hot take for today is that "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley is actually a certified banger and an excellent example of its genre of late '80s new wave radio pop and does not deserve its current meme song status. I was the #1 pop song in the UK in 1987 and charted in the US for a reason.
December 26, 2025 at 4:00 PM
My hot take for today is that "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley is actually a certified banger and an excellent example of its genre of late '80s new wave radio pop and does not deserve its current meme song status. I was the #1 pop song in the UK in 1987 and charted in the US for a reason.
Zero occurrences found.
December 25, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Zero occurrences found.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
New Sky to Bluesky starter tips:
1) As you settle in ask yourself: "does Bluesky suck, or am I just going through stages of Twitter grief & withdrawal?"
2) Twitter Famous™ is non-essential here so feel free to leave it off yr Bsky bio.
3) Resist the urge to self-describe as a "Twitter refugee."
1) As you settle in ask yourself: "does Bluesky suck, or am I just going through stages of Twitter grief & withdrawal?"
2) Twitter Famous™ is non-essential here so feel free to leave it off yr Bsky bio.
3) Resist the urge to self-describe as a "Twitter refugee."
October 11, 2023 at 12:15 PM
New Sky to Bluesky starter tips:
1) As you settle in ask yourself: "does Bluesky suck, or am I just going through stages of Twitter grief & withdrawal?"
2) Twitter Famous™ is non-essential here so feel free to leave it off yr Bsky bio.
3) Resist the urge to self-describe as a "Twitter refugee."
1) As you settle in ask yourself: "does Bluesky suck, or am I just going through stages of Twitter grief & withdrawal?"
2) Twitter Famous™ is non-essential here so feel free to leave it off yr Bsky bio.
3) Resist the urge to self-describe as a "Twitter refugee."
The right: "The left is declaring war on christmas!"
Also the right:
Also the right:
December 25, 2025 at 6:50 PM
The right: "The left is declaring war on christmas!"
Also the right:
Also the right:
Merry Christmas! Does a little bit of snow on the mountaintops I can see from my kitchen window count as a white Christmas or no? Because there's a high of 68 today.
December 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Merry Christmas! Does a little bit of snow on the mountaintops I can see from my kitchen window count as a white Christmas or no? Because there's a high of 68 today.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
just been down a not-so-festive rabbit hole on wikipedia and now i'm scared of everything. umbrellas. hickeys. sharp toast. fucking everything. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
List of unusual deaths in the 21st century - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
December 25, 2025 at 4:50 AM
just been down a not-so-festive rabbit hole on wikipedia and now i'm scared of everything. umbrellas. hickeys. sharp toast. fucking everything. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
Reportedly, the Epstein files include allegations that Donald Trump personally killed a baby. Not a fetus but a living, breathing, fully born baby. If this turns out to be true, I need every Republican to shut the fuck up about abortion forever.
Jesus H Christ, EVERY accusation is a confession.
Jesus H Christ, EVERY accusation is a confession.
December 25, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Reportedly, the Epstein files include allegations that Donald Trump personally killed a baby. Not a fetus but a living, breathing, fully born baby. If this turns out to be true, I need every Republican to shut the fuck up about abortion forever.
Jesus H Christ, EVERY accusation is a confession.
Jesus H Christ, EVERY accusation is a confession.
I mean the classic is
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you stuffed it under your floorboards until the ever-present sound of its beating drove you into madness"
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you stuffed it under your floorboards until the ever-present sound of its beating drove you into madness"
QUESTION FOUR
Write new lines for this song to make it (more) horror.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…”
Warning: If you play the original song for inspiration, you’ll be Whammed. I don't make the rules. Be careful out there folks.
---
I’ll post the outro in 10 mins #HorrorWritersChat…
Write new lines for this song to make it (more) horror.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…”
Warning: If you play the original song for inspiration, you’ll be Whammed. I don't make the rules. Be careful out there folks.
---
I’ll post the outro in 10 mins #HorrorWritersChat…
December 24, 2025 at 8:16 PM
I mean the classic is
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you stuffed it under your floorboards until the ever-present sound of its beating drove you into madness"
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you stuffed it under your floorboards until the ever-present sound of its beating drove you into madness"
In honor of the Trump/Epstein Files being released, I've decided to leak the first chapter of my novel. Enjoy.
December 24, 2025 at 8:14 PM
In honor of the Trump/Epstein Files being released, I've decided to leak the first chapter of my novel. Enjoy.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
You will be visited by three spirits
The spirits:
The spirits:
December 24, 2025 at 2:36 PM
You will be visited by three spirits
The spirits:
The spirits:
"I voted for Trump because I don't want men in women's bathrooms" ~ the stupidest person you know
December 24, 2025 at 5:41 PM
"I voted for Trump because I don't want men in women's bathrooms" ~ the stupidest person you know
CNN is compromised. "Bible based gender essay" is a really weird way to misspell "hate speech".
(The Bible says exactly 0 things about trans people btw)
(The Bible says exactly 0 things about trans people btw)
Bending your institution to meet the prejudices of your dumbest, meanest students is a surefire way to destroy a university.
Now any student can just scrawl “the Bible says this is wrong” on any test and skate to an A at the Oklahoma Football Outlet and Diploma Factory.
Now any student can just scrawl “the Bible says this is wrong” on any test and skate to an A at the Oklahoma Football Outlet and Diploma Factory.
The University of Oklahoma has removed an instructor who was accused by a student of religious discrimination over a failing grade on a psychology paper in which she cited the Bible and argued that promoting a “belief in multiple genders” was “demonic.” https://cnn.it/4b6g3rd
December 24, 2025 at 4:25 PM
CNN is compromised. "Bible based gender essay" is a really weird way to misspell "hate speech".
(The Bible says exactly 0 things about trans people btw)
(The Bible says exactly 0 things about trans people btw)
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
Everyone deserves stable housing, not being a cash cow for lazy landlords. Homes should be for living and ownership, not endless rent extraction. A system that prioritizes first-time buyers, social housing, and limits speculation beats one where landlords and corporations hoard shelter for profit.
December 24, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Everyone deserves stable housing, not being a cash cow for lazy landlords. Homes should be for living and ownership, not endless rent extraction. A system that prioritizes first-time buyers, social housing, and limits speculation beats one where landlords and corporations hoard shelter for profit.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner - Author of "The Woods: A Horror Novel"
Was a big fan of the monolith from 2001, had no idea it visited Epstein Island. Donating my Blu-Ray to charity.
December 19, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Was a big fan of the monolith from 2001, had no idea it visited Epstein Island. Donating my Blu-Ray to charity.