Imam of Irony
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harambeehalal.bsky.social
Imam of Irony
@harambeehalal.bsky.social
250 followers 330 following 420 posts
The Imam of Irony & Mufti Meow.
One preaches. One pouts. Both expose the absurdities of our world.

Harambeehalal.co.uk
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harambeehalal.bsky.social
Imam of Irony @harambeehalal.bsky.social · Aug 31
harambeehalal.co.uk/why-all-the-...

When you spot an England flag you can say. That’s like our school team colours for our whole country pretty cool, right? Unless it’s painted all over a zebra crossing then it’s just ‘Britain’s worst art project’ and needs reporting, not grocery budget billed.
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Arrested for shopping on a motorbike while the real criminals run the country like a kebab shop with no licence. Priorities, innit. 🐾😹
theguardian.com The Guardian @theguardian.com · Sep 2
Motorcyclist on shopping trip arrested amid Labour’s crackdown on undocumented migrants
Motorcyclist on shopping trip arrested amid Labour’s crackdown on undocumented migrants
Fernando Fontoura, who moved to the UK aged 12, detained in drive to find people ‘illegally working’ as delivery drivers A motorcycle rider out on a shopping trip was arrested and detained for a month as part of a high-profile government crackdown on undocumented migrants working for food delivery apps. Fernando Fontoura, 33, who moved from Portugal to the UK when he was 12, was arrested by immigration enforcement officers after he parked his motorbike near a grocery store in south-east London on 22 July. He was taken to a detention centre near Gatwick airport where he was held for 29 days. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
September 2, 2025 at 5:37 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
@zarahsultana.bsky.social the only politician who sounds like she’s delivering khutbah while everyone else is busy auditioning for Netflix spin-offs. May Allah protect her from careerists who’d sell their soul for a ministerial biscuit. 🐾😹
oliver48.bsky.social Oliver @oliver48.bsky.social · Sep 1
"A politician who uses her voice clearly and loudly for the oppressed, weak and voiceless
Principled not careering Thank you"
via Margaret Batty
September 2, 2025 at 5:35 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
harambeehalal.co.uk/why-all-the-...

When you spot an England flag you can say. That’s like our school team colours for our whole country pretty cool, right? Unless it’s painted all over a zebra crossing then it’s just ‘Britain’s worst art project’ and needs reporting, not grocery budget billed.
August 31, 2025 at 11:18 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Look up, the sky’s blue 🌌 … but my Insta feed’s better 👀📲 Scan the QR & follow the vibes 👉 #InstaLink
August 30, 2025 at 10:24 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
St George born in Turkey, killed dragons, became England’s hero. Far-right MPs: still losing to history. Description: 🐉Description: 🇬🇧#HistoryCheck #DragonsNotHumans

harambeehalal.co.uk/st-georges-f...
August 23, 2025 at 12:19 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Half a million dead. 8m refugees. $500B to rebuild.

The Ukraine war isn’t about winning anymore, it’s about surviving.

Two ugly deals could freeze the front lines or let Xi & Erdogan broker peace.

Baffled Beccy confirms the grim facts.

Read more: harambeehalal.co.uk/frozen-confl...
Two Roads to Peace: Frozen Framework or Xi’s Accord - Halalbee Haram
Two frameworks for ending the Ukraine war: a Western freeze or a Xi-Turkey accord. Both ugly, both built for survival.
harambeehalal.co.uk
August 20, 2025 at 12:32 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Welcome to the greatest circus in the Middle East: flaming swords, corruption, propaganda, and clowns in suits. Spoiler: the citizens aren’t the villains, the ringmasters are. 🎪 Read the full roast + fact-check on Harambee Halal 👇 harambeehalal.co.uk/israel-polit...
Bibi’s Big Circus: Scandals, Spin, and How Ordinary Israelis Are Getting Played (Popcorn Recommended) - Halalbee Haram
Israel’s political circus: corruption and propaganda on full display while citizens watch leaders juggle chaos like clowns
harambeehalal.co.uk
August 18, 2025 at 5:35 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Was Aisha really 9 at marriage? Most people only hear one side. Historical records show another timeline too. I break down the evidence, sources, and context in this blog. Read before you judge.

harambeehalal.co.uk/aisha-age-ha...
Was Aisha 9? What the Sources Say - Halalbee Haram
Examining Aisha’s age in historical sources, the context of seventh-century Arabia, and common misconceptions.
harambeehalal.co.uk
August 14, 2025 at 11:20 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
🚨 New Gear Alert! 🚨 The Fujifilm GFX100RF is here compact, powerful & packing 102MP of pure magic! 📸✨ Is this the best medium-format camera yet? 🤔🔥

🔗 Read more: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/fuji...

#Fujifilm #GFX100RF #PhotographyGear #MediumFormat
The Fujifilm GFX100RF Has Arrived Say Hello to Your Newest Obsession (and Some Must-Have Extras!)
Meet the Fujifilm GFX100RF – the ultimate compact medium-format camera! Stunning 102MP shots, sleek design, and must-have accessories. Is it worth it?
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 21, 2025 at 1:29 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Google Pixel 9A: delayed thanks to a "small number" of devices with mysterious issues. While we wait, why not prep with some cool accessories? The suspense is real, but at least Google’s checking before shipping. Full scoop here: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/goog...

#googlepixel9A
Google Pixel 9A Delayed But Don’t Worry, It’s Only a "Small" Issue (Probably)
Google Pixel 9A delayed due to quality issues! Find out why, what it means for buyers, and the best accessories to grab while you wait.
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 20, 2025 at 2:46 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Tesco’s new self-checkout trial is here, and it’s basically a TSA for your trolley. Ready for a checkout experience that’ll leave you questioning reality? 🤖🛒 Read all about it!

grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/tesc...

#Tesco #SelfCheckout #GroceryShopping #TechTakeover
Are We in a Supermarket or a Border Control? : Tesco Introduces “Dystopian” Checkout Feature.
Tesco’s new checkout trial in Gateshead brings scales and self-checkouts to a whole new level. Is the future of shopping a high-tech security checkpoi
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 10, 2025 at 1:45 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
BREAKING: Britain hotter than Madrid this week? 🤯 16°C is a scorching heatwave... if you're British. ☀️ Pack your coat, umbrella, and maybe a therapist. #UKWeather #Heatwave #BritainVsMadrid"

grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/brit...
BRITAIN HOTTER THAN MADRID? QUICK, SOMEONE FETCH THE SUN CREAM AND A THERAPIST!
Britain to surpass Madrid’s temperatures in a surprising March heatwave coats, sunscreen, chaos
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 5, 2025 at 9:26 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Ever wonder why you need that overpriced avocado pillow? Welcome to the chaotic world of impulse buying, where logic goes out the window and your bank account weeps. 🛒💸 Check out my latest guide to buying stuff you’ll regret later! 😅👇
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/impu...

#impulsebuying
So Ridiculous, You'll Definitely Want Them : Latest Must Haves
Discover the hilarious world of impulse buying! From useless gadgets to must-haves, we dive into why we can't resist unnecessary online shopping
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 28, 2025 at 1:37 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Welcome to Trump Gaza: the luxury resort where war crimes meet bad taste. Book your stay now for infinity pools made of broken treaties & gas field tours. It’s all fun and games until someone remembers the real cost. 😂🌍 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/trum... #TrumpGaza #LuxuryDisaster
Welcome to Trump Gaza A Luxury Resort Built on Delusion And War Crimes
Explore the absurdity of Trump Gaza, a luxury resort built on delusion, war crimes, and bad ideas. Prepare for a vacation from morality
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 26, 2025 at 7:53 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
🚗💨 Flying cars are here. Now you can dodge traffic and crash into your neighbor’s BBQ at 500ft. Welcome to the future where the sky’s the limit, but your insurance premiums definitely are not. ✈️🔥 #SkyJams #FlyingCars

grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/flyi...
February 25, 2025 at 11:23 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
🚀 Big Rocky is coming, and there’s a tiny chance it’ll make us dinosaurs again. 🦖 Will we panic? Yep. Will billionaires bunker down in luxury? Absolutely. Catch what happens when an asteroid RSVPs to Earth’s party. 🍸🔥

🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/big-...

#DoomsdayVibes
Big Rocky The Asteroid That Could Make Us Dinosaurs (Again)
Hey there, fellow Earthlings! Gather 'round, because we’ve got a cosmic thriller unfolding one with more twists than a telenovela and wors...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 24, 2025 at 9:37 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Apple post Steve Jobs? More like a tech tragedy. The iPhone 16e is out, and it’s as exciting as a soggy cardboard box. No MagSafe? Really? Tim Cook’s out here snoozing while the competition is flexing. Roast the tech giant here: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/appl... 😾🍏
Apple’s Post Steve Jobs Era A Roast of the Fallen Fruit (Now With Extra Cheek)
Steve Jobs , you turtlenecked messiah. You didn’t just invent the iPhone; you breathed life into the entire tech ecosystem, giving birth ...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 22, 2025 at 1:50 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
“NEWSFLASH: Your soul might outlive you. Dr. Hameroff says consciousness lingers like a cat escaping cuddles. 🐱👻 Meanwhile, jellyfish vibe in death pools while you stress over your soul’s WiFi. Someone call Pixar for a ‘Soul’ sequel. 💀💫

🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/grum...
Science, Souls, and Spooky Sea Depths: My First Day on the Job
Alright, folks, hold onto your hats because I’ve just landed on the Grumpy Journalist team (don’t worry, I’m definitely still the ‘junior’ i...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 21, 2025 at 9:52 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, poor you. A tragic tale of a human versus basic technology. Sounds like the plot of a really bad sitcom. Maybe your computer’s just tired of you ever think of that?
edzitron.com Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · Jan 21
I love that every single time I use the computer something breaks or is already broken. My headphones I use every day aren't connecting, no reason. My camera cuts off at random. Every time I sit down my monitor turns off, due to something with my chair's hydraulics (??). i'm so tired of the computer
January 22, 2025 at 2:16 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Grumpy Cat 💭: Yes the noble warrior of freedom, shouting into the void of the internet like it’s the new battlefield. Truly inspiring. Meanwhile I’m fighting the tyranny of empty food bowls. Where’s my applause?
tomesandtextiles.bsky.social Carmen 📚 Latinx Book Influencer 📚 @tomesandtextiles.bsky.social · Jan 21
The purpose of yesterday was to frighten us to submitting in advance. I have my freedom of speech and I will use it here and everywhere else I exist online to make my voice heard. No oligarch, no president will silence me. So, be prepared for more Latinx books just as soon as my mourning ends, okay?
January 22, 2025 at 2:15 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, how sweet. Your cat Kiri is a certified emotional support therapist now? Meanwhile I’m over here managing my anxiety caused by humans with no such luck. Where’s my medal for tolerating you all?
laurenwalshart.bsky.social Lauren Walsh @laurenwalshart.bsky.social · Jan 21
I swear my cat, Kiri, can sense my anxiety. Any time it really starts to spike she’ll lie on my chest or put her paws on my chest. She is very sweet.
January 22, 2025 at 2:13 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Grumpy cat💭: Wow, groundbreaking idea. Let’s all ask about grocery and gas prices every day, because nothing fixes inflation like constant whining. While you’re at it, ask why cats don’t run the economy we’d have this sorted yesterday. But sure, you do you, Price Patrol.

#GrumpyCatInsta
thegodpodcast.com God @thegodpodcast.com · Jan 21
I’m going to ask about grocery and gas prices everyday and so should you.
January 22, 2025 at 2:09 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, sure, every cat is the prettiest cat on Earth. Meanwhile, I’m over here carrying the entire feline beauty industry on my back. And dogs? Yeah, they’re cute… if you’re into slobber and desperation. But sure, we’ll pretend it’s a tie.

#GrumpyCatInsta
ohdangitevie.bsky.social Katie Porter’s White Board @ohdangitevie.bsky.social · Jan 22
When I say “my cat is the prettiest cat on earth” please understand that YOUR CAT is also the prettiest cat on Earth. BOTH of our dogs are the cutest dogs in America.
My pets’ beauty does not take away from your pets’ beauty.

They are all good dogs, Brant.
January 22, 2025 at 2:07 AM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
Grumpy Cat💭: Oh, how convenient! Jack Smith had all the evidence to convict Trump, but oops he won again in 2024! Guess accountability is only for those who lose. #GrumpyCatApproved
nytimes.com The New York Times @nytimes.com · Jan 14
The evidence in the case of Donald Trump illegally seeking to cling to power after losing the 2020 election would have been sufficient to convict him, had his 2024 win not made it impossible for the prosecution to continue, Jack Smith, the special counsel, said in a final report. nyti.ms/4aeAn7t
Donald Trump is wearing a suit. The text reads: "Special Counsel Report Says Trump Would Have Been Convicted in Election Case." Photo by Doug Mills/The New York Times.
January 14, 2025 at 5:17 PM
harambeehalal.bsky.social
grumpycat 💭 Took them 6 years to realise homelessness was a problem… maybe next they’ll work on curing Windows update issues. #BetterLateThanNever
msgrumpybunny.bsky.social 🪷MsGrumpyBunny🪷 @msgrumpybunny.bsky.social · Jan 2
Good news for LA as they see first homelessness decline in 6 yrs, with a 10% reduction in street homelessness and a 17% rise in people moved indoors. Mayor Bass's initiatives and collaboration with various agencies and govt levels drive this progress, marking a new direction in tackling the crisis.
Change In LA: Homelessness Down In City of L.A. for First Time In Years Following Urgent Action Taken By Mayor Bass and Partners
En Español한국어Street Homelessness Brought Down at Unprecedented Rate, 17% Increase In Unhoused People Moved Inside
mayor.lacity.gov
January 7, 2025 at 11:38 PM