Hawk Gates
@gateshawk.bsky.social
I finished an entire can of 7 up
Author of "Johnny's Brand New Big Boy Bike"
https://www.amazon.com/Johnnys-Brand-New-Big-Bike/dp/1724177753/ref=sr_1_1?crid=B1PA7IB9GNB0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-H_-htHgrzs2Acf0daTDiXB
Author of "Johnny's Brand New Big Boy Bike"
https://www.amazon.com/Johnnys-Brand-New-Big-Bike/dp/1724177753/ref=sr_1_1?crid=B1PA7IB9GNB0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-H_-htHgrzs2Acf0daTDiXB
Reposted by Hawk Gates
when the sun peeks out from behind a cold winter cloud that’s the real me
November 11, 2025 at 3:52 PM
when the sun peeks out from behind a cold winter cloud that’s the real me
Just remembered I had a roommate who wanted me to join his pyramid scheme and I promised I'd look over the materials. I was sitting there on the couch flipping through this book about a health drink so fast he thought I had super intelligence like Good Will Hunting. Had to admit I was just skimming
Obviously we had performative reading discourse thousands of times on twitter but I even feel like this is like the third time since I’ve been on Bluesky. I guess the situation is always evolving
November 11, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Just remembered I had a roommate who wanted me to join his pyramid scheme and I promised I'd look over the materials. I was sitting there on the couch flipping through this book about a health drink so fast he thought I had super intelligence like Good Will Hunting. Had to admit I was just skimming
(person who has complained before) This is the first time I've ever complained
November 11, 2025 at 4:47 PM
(person who has complained before) This is the first time I've ever complained
Some of these screenshots are lowkey interesting
November 11, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Some of these screenshots are lowkey interesting
I encouraged my wife to go psycho mode at work about a table outside her office that suddenly disappeared and she doesn't know who moved/took it or to where
November 11, 2025 at 4:00 PM
I encouraged my wife to go psycho mode at work about a table outside her office that suddenly disappeared and she doesn't know who moved/took it or to where
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Frown face emoji is my only friend. Oh, and melting head emoji too. And money tongue.
October 30, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Frown face emoji is my only friend. Oh, and melting head emoji too. And money tongue.
I feel like firing from the hip with some replies today. Watch this space
November 11, 2025 at 1:27 PM
I feel like firing from the hip with some replies today. Watch this space
If you don’t have something nice to post….. you’ve come to the right place 🤘
November 11, 2025 at 1:15 PM
If you don’t have something nice to post….. you’ve come to the right place 🤘
These are the group chats of our lives
November 11, 2025 at 1:10 PM
These are the group chats of our lives
“Any Given Day That Ends In Y”
Al Pacino: We’re gonna fight for every inch. Whether it’s Sunday, Monday, Thursday, or sometimes Saturday!
Al Pacino: We’re gonna fight for every inch. Whether it’s Sunday, Monday, Thursday, or sometimes Saturday!
November 11, 2025 at 5:07 AM
“Any Given Day That Ends In Y”
Al Pacino: We’re gonna fight for every inch. Whether it’s Sunday, Monday, Thursday, or sometimes Saturday!
Al Pacino: We’re gonna fight for every inch. Whether it’s Sunday, Monday, Thursday, or sometimes Saturday!
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Go to emojis and scroll right. If you hit the weird faces you’ve gone too far
November 10, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Go to emojis and scroll right. If you hit the weird faces you’ve gone too far
One day my guests were commenting constantly about my tea and the rest is history
November 11, 2025 at 3:59 AM
One day my guests were commenting constantly about my tea and the rest is history
They’re saying this post is going to get 7 likes
November 11, 2025 at 3:27 AM
They’re saying this post is going to get 7 likes
They’re awarding me a rich inner life
November 10, 2025 at 7:46 PM
They’re awarding me a rich inner life
If you ask a question that’s more like a comment you should immediately get awarded a bachelor’s degree
November 10, 2025 at 6:54 PM
If you ask a question that’s more like a comment you should immediately get awarded a bachelor’s degree
Anyone want to buy some crypto off me? Good news: it was once owned by Rob Schneider. Bad news: it expires tomorrow so there’s not a lot of time left to use it
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Anyone want to buy some crypto off me? Good news: it was once owned by Rob Schneider. Bad news: it expires tomorrow so there’s not a lot of time left to use it
I favor the both and approach
November 10, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I favor the both and approach
me: (attempting to shame the long-winded "question askers" at the academic conference) Why?
presenter: Why what?
me: (panicking) Where?
presenter: Why what?
me: (panicking) Where?
November 10, 2025 at 5:12 PM
me: (attempting to shame the long-winded "question askers" at the academic conference) Why?
presenter: Why what?
me: (panicking) Where?
presenter: Why what?
me: (panicking) Where?
Do NOT purchase crypto from Rob Schneider! It's probably expired!
November 10, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Do NOT purchase crypto from Rob Schneider! It's probably expired!
How am I or who am I? Oh, I’m good. And this is the Hague and I’m the judge who will be overseeing your trial for crimes against humanity. I understand you are representing yourself?
November 10, 2025 at 3:24 PM
How am I or who am I? Oh, I’m good. And this is the Hague and I’m the judge who will be overseeing your trial for crimes against humanity. I understand you are representing yourself?
Shrink: You coulda mopped da floahs anywaah, but you rode da train foahty minutes to mop da floahs at da greatest educational institution known to man called Hhhhhhhaaaaavad
Will Hunting: They put da chockbowad in the hallway
Will Hunting: They put da chockbowad in the hallway
November 10, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Shrink: You coulda mopped da floahs anywaah, but you rode da train foahty minutes to mop da floahs at da greatest educational institution known to man called Hhhhhhhaaaaavad
Will Hunting: They put da chockbowad in the hallway
Will Hunting: They put da chockbowad in the hallway
Harvard’s just a pile of bricks with an endowment. And a world class higher ed curriculum
November 10, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Harvard’s just a pile of bricks with an endowment. And a world class higher ed curriculum
(Guy who thinks socialist is another word for extrovert) Socialism has never worked for me
November 10, 2025 at 1:53 AM
(Guy who thinks socialist is another word for extrovert) Socialism has never worked for me
Williams, Williams, Williams & Williams is being sued for nepotism
November 10, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Williams, Williams, Williams & Williams is being sued for nepotism
Weekends are a time to eat so poorly you begin to question the fundamental principles of our existence
November 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Weekends are a time to eat so poorly you begin to question the fundamental principles of our existence