@fcrouter.bsky.social
Baker. I ❤️ glutenin + gliaden. Minnesota launched, Seattle landed.
This is so fucking offensive. I can’t wait until these assholes are out of office. “Democrat-led shutdown,” ha. Your correct hyphenation doesn’t make it any more believable.
November 8, 2025 at 10:48 PM
This is so fucking offensive. I can’t wait until these assholes are out of office. “Democrat-led shutdown,” ha. Your correct hyphenation doesn’t make it any more believable.
So we’ve entered our Entartete Kunst period now
Stephen Miller: "The scandal is how Democrats & the left scarred the landscape of our country w/grotesque so-called modern art that celebrates ugliness ... very importantly, President Trump is making sure it's in the neo-classical design around which our nation's architecture has long been directed"
October 24, 2025 at 9:54 PM
So we’ve entered our Entartete Kunst period now
October 19, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Reposted
Seattle No Kings from the monorail
October 18, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Seattle No Kings from the monorail
October 18, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Ordered the “Benedict special” at a highly regarded Seattle restaurant. They should have called it the EGG Benedict special—singular egg. Charge me more for 2 eggs, for chrissakes, don’t serve me that sad solo egg like you’re doing me a favor. This was a good 15 years ago and I’ve never been back.
What meaningless thing/experience are you still mad about? Like it should not matter at all, DOES not matter at all. But you’re still MAD.
And how long has it been?
I bought some bagels at Hy-Vee four years ago. So bad. Too big. Hard. Bland. WORTHLESS.
I’m still FURIOUS.
And how long has it been?
I bought some bagels at Hy-Vee four years ago. So bad. Too big. Hard. Bland. WORTHLESS.
I’m still FURIOUS.
October 15, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Ordered the “Benedict special” at a highly regarded Seattle restaurant. They should have called it the EGG Benedict special—singular egg. Charge me more for 2 eggs, for chrissakes, don’t serve me that sad solo egg like you’re doing me a favor. This was a good 15 years ago and I’ve never been back.
All the #GestapBros yukking it up
"It's very funny when the government gets to decide who is a Real Jew and who is not! We are all laughing. It is funny, yes."
JD Vance describes Chuck Schumer as "one of the most famous Palestinians in the world"
October 9, 2025 at 5:53 PM
All the #GestapBros yukking it up
Now I want Weird Al to do something with magic beds. Or a song about Weird A.I.
To the Daily Beast staffer who put “79” into this headline, know this:
We salute you.
We salute you.
October 1, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Now I want Weird Al to do something with magic beds. Or a song about Weird A.I.
My god, it’s nice to have some good news.
In reporting this piece on the new trial for a Huntington's treatment, I was struck by one thing in particular:
The joy.
One of my sources wept for joy. He has spent his entire career studying this disease, he said it was the happiest day. www.sciencenews.org/article/hunt...
The joy.
One of my sources wept for joy. He has spent his entire career studying this disease, he said it was the happiest day. www.sciencenews.org/article/hunt...
Huntington's progression slowed by experimental gene therapy
An experimental gene therapy slowed Huntington’s by up to 75 percent in a small clinical trial. While not a cure, it may give patients longer lives.
www.sciencenews.org
September 26, 2025 at 7:38 PM
My god, it’s nice to have some good news.
Hey, @siffnews.bsky.social, can we screen this in Seattle? 🙏
Do you want to screen Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile in your town or city, unlike a cowardly major movie chain?
Email us at jeffreyepstein@theonion.com.
We'll allow you to screen it for free.
Yes, again, this is real.
Email us at jeffreyepstein@theonion.com.
We'll allow you to screen it for free.
Yes, again, this is real.
A very big Onion announcement:
The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.
It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.
It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.
Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.
The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.
It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.
It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.
Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.
September 25, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Hey, @siffnews.bsky.social, can we screen this in Seattle? 🙏
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2 [about]?
September 2, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2 [about]?
Reposted
The largest wildfire burning in the state of Washington is still alive today thanks to brave federal U.S. Border Patrol and ICE agents who arrested firefighters caught in the act of attempting to kill it.
ICE Arrests Firefighters Caught Attempting to Murder Wildfire: tinyurl.com/255zs4c5
August 28, 2025 at 9:33 PM
The largest wildfire burning in the state of Washington is still alive today thanks to brave federal U.S. Border Patrol and ICE agents who arrested firefighters caught in the act of attempting to kill it.
I remember being so bummed in Stranger Than Fiction when Will Ferrell’s character brings flours and Maggie Gyllenhaal was not delighted, as a real baker would be. We would’ve been identifying them! The color, the feel, the taste…
August 29, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I remember being so bummed in Stranger Than Fiction when Will Ferrell’s character brings flours and Maggie Gyllenhaal was not delighted, as a real baker would be. We would’ve been identifying them! The color, the feel, the taste…
(A tangent, I know—but I never want to see this woman’s picture/have to think about her ever again)
Recent panic that the Supreme Court might soon overturn marriage equality is unwarranted—the justices are highly unlikely to take up the case that has people worried. And this freak-out risks diverting attention away from the court's subtler, ongoing attack on gay rights. slate.com/news-and-pol...
The Sudden Panic That SCOTUS Might Overturn Marriage Equality Misses the Real Threat
Kim Davis’ case will not be the vehicle the court uses to eradicate the equal dignity of same-sex couples.
slate.com
August 13, 2025 at 8:36 PM
(A tangent, I know—but I never want to see this woman’s picture/have to think about her ever again)
Reposted
I never cease to be impressed by the public administration of certain band and tribal governments. There's a tsunami heading this way -- and it comes during the big intertribal paddle 'festival' with dozens of First Nations canoes and hundreds of paddlers on the ocean right now.
July 30, 2025 at 3:23 AM
I never cease to be impressed by the public administration of certain band and tribal governments. There's a tsunami heading this way -- and it comes during the big intertribal paddle 'festival' with dozens of First Nations canoes and hundreds of paddlers on the ocean right now.
This is as close to a “the emperor’s got no clothes!” moment as we’ve gotten yet. Thanks, Chairman Powell.
This exchange between Trump and Jerome Powell is like a TV sitcom.
Trump quotes a new figure for the renovations at the Fed. Powell shakes his head. Trump shows him the paper and says "it just came out." Powell explains that Trump added an irrelevant building... that was built five years ago.
Trump quotes a new figure for the renovations at the Fed. Powell shakes his head. Trump shows him the paper and says "it just came out." Powell explains that Trump added an irrelevant building... that was built five years ago.
July 25, 2025 at 5:36 AM
This is as close to a “the emperor’s got no clothes!” moment as we’ve gotten yet. Thanks, Chairman Powell.
Reposted
Recent profiles in courage:
1) Jerome Powell, with reminder of how rare, virtually unknown, it is for people to call BS on Trump *to his face.* Toadying by Tim Scott in that encounter is what we've gotten used to
2) South Park!!! OMG. I assume people around Trump will keep him from ever seeing it
1) Jerome Powell, with reminder of how rare, virtually unknown, it is for people to call BS on Trump *to his face.* Toadying by Tim Scott in that encounter is what we've gotten used to
2) South Park!!! OMG. I assume people around Trump will keep him from ever seeing it
July 25, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Recent profiles in courage:
1) Jerome Powell, with reminder of how rare, virtually unknown, it is for people to call BS on Trump *to his face.* Toadying by Tim Scott in that encounter is what we've gotten used to
2) South Park!!! OMG. I assume people around Trump will keep him from ever seeing it
1) Jerome Powell, with reminder of how rare, virtually unknown, it is for people to call BS on Trump *to his face.* Toadying by Tim Scott in that encounter is what we've gotten used to
2) South Park!!! OMG. I assume people around Trump will keep him from ever seeing it
You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature?
I’d recreate a first date at the Grand theater: Harold and Maude and A Clockwork Orange. (College towns! The best!)
I’d recreate a first date at the Grand theater: Harold and Maude and A Clockwork Orange. (College towns! The best!)
July 21, 2025 at 3:32 AM
You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature?
I’d recreate a first date at the Grand theater: Harold and Maude and A Clockwork Orange. (College towns! The best!)
I’d recreate a first date at the Grand theater: Harold and Maude and A Clockwork Orange. (College towns! The best!)
“I feel a little discombobulated.”
(To which any fan of Mystery Train will answer, “I knowwww the feelin!”)
(To which any fan of Mystery Train will answer, “I knowwww the feelin!”)
What's the most random/obscure thing you quote?
In "The Stand' by Stephen King (complete/uncut ed iirc), a character called The Kid would sometimes say "how do you like that happy crappy?" and I often say that to myself/out loud for various reasons lol.
In "The Stand' by Stephen King (complete/uncut ed iirc), a character called The Kid would sometimes say "how do you like that happy crappy?" and I often say that to myself/out loud for various reasons lol.
July 18, 2025 at 6:51 AM
“I feel a little discombobulated.”
(To which any fan of Mystery Train will answer, “I knowwww the feelin!”)
(To which any fan of Mystery Train will answer, “I knowwww the feelin!”)
Our Regional Meat Sandwich choice this summer was the muffuletta. (Previous years: Philly-style roast pork, Chicago beef, and last August was lobster rolls).
July 7, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Our Regional Meat Sandwich choice this summer was the muffuletta. (Previous years: Philly-style roast pork, Chicago beef, and last August was lobster rolls).
25 years ago, I cut out this headline and mailed it to my now-husband. “In Madrid, There's No Such Thing as Too Much Ham.”
Still haven’t made that particular pilgrimage.
Still haven’t made that particular pilgrimage.
July 5, 2025 at 3:49 PM
25 years ago, I cut out this headline and mailed it to my now-husband. “In Madrid, There's No Such Thing as Too Much Ham.”
Still haven’t made that particular pilgrimage.
Still haven’t made that particular pilgrimage.
Sticker seen in a Minnesota parking lot this week.
I told my spouse, “You need Imperialist measures for that.”
I told my spouse, “You need Imperialist measures for that.”
June 21, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Sticker seen in a Minnesota parking lot this week.
I told my spouse, “You need Imperialist measures for that.”
I told my spouse, “You need Imperialist measures for that.”
Reposted
There are no distractions. It's all bad. Systematically stripping trans people of their rights, guys in balaclavas shoving any brown person with a tattoo into a ummarked vans, ending healthcare for millions. It's all in service of fascism and technofeudalism. It's all one thing. That's the point.
June 18, 2025 at 5:52 PM
There are no distractions. It's all bad. Systematically stripping trans people of their rights, guys in balaclavas shoving any brown person with a tattoo into a ummarked vans, ending healthcare for millions. It's all in service of fascism and technofeudalism. It's all one thing. That's the point.