Stop Domestic Violence
@enddv.bsky.social
Spreading awareness and standing up to domestic violence #JusticeForAll
Pinned
when an abuser claims that the abuse that happened was too long ago to matter and refuses to take accountability--thats how you know they haven't changed. no amount of time undoes abuse, and someone who has genuinely changed would see that.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
It is not selfish to prioritize your own needs and well-being.
December 7, 2024 at 6:37 PM
It is not selfish to prioritize your own needs and well-being.
when an abuser claims that the abuse that happened was too long ago to matter and refuses to take accountability--thats how you know they haven't changed. no amount of time undoes abuse, and someone who has genuinely changed would see that.
December 7, 2024 at 2:29 PM
when an abuser claims that the abuse that happened was too long ago to matter and refuses to take accountability--thats how you know they haven't changed. no amount of time undoes abuse, and someone who has genuinely changed would see that.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
At first, it felt like love—attention, concern, care.
But slowly, things started to change.
Your friends became “bad influences.” Your actions were always “wrong.” Your feelings didn’t matter.
But slowly, things started to change.
Your friends became “bad influences.” Your actions were always “wrong.” Your feelings didn’t matter.
December 7, 2024 at 1:09 PM
At first, it felt like love—attention, concern, care.
But slowly, things started to change.
Your friends became “bad influences.” Your actions were always “wrong.” Your feelings didn’t matter.
But slowly, things started to change.
Your friends became “bad influences.” Your actions were always “wrong.” Your feelings didn’t matter.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
If you have experienced economic abuse, you are not alone. We’ve gathered information on a range of organisations that can support you with everything from mental health to housing.
Find the support you need - survivingeconomicabuse.org/...
Find the support you need - survivingeconomicabuse.org/...
December 6, 2024 at 9:34 AM
If you have experienced economic abuse, you are not alone. We’ve gathered information on a range of organisations that can support you with everything from mental health to housing.
Find the support you need - survivingeconomicabuse.org/...
Find the support you need - survivingeconomicabuse.org/...
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
There are numerous misleading and inaccurate "facts" that many survivors believe as as true, and these beliefs often keep them trapped in unsafe, abusive relationships.
#16days
#16days
December 6, 2024 at 7:27 AM
There are numerous misleading and inaccurate "facts" that many survivors believe as as true, and these beliefs often keep them trapped in unsafe, abusive relationships.
#16days
#16days
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
I don't want you comparing your trauma recovery to anyone else's-- including mine-- unless it's to adapt a tool they've used to your own needs.
The comparison game is an old Trauma Brain trap. It's recovery poison. Redirect your focus as many times as you need to to avoid it.
The comparison game is an old Trauma Brain trap. It's recovery poison. Redirect your focus as many times as you need to to avoid it.
December 6, 2024 at 3:44 PM
I don't want you comparing your trauma recovery to anyone else's-- including mine-- unless it's to adapt a tool they've used to your own needs.
The comparison game is an old Trauma Brain trap. It's recovery poison. Redirect your focus as many times as you need to to avoid it.
The comparison game is an old Trauma Brain trap. It's recovery poison. Redirect your focus as many times as you need to to avoid it.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
The secret to MY happy marriage:
1. Make sure your spouse knows every day how much you love, value and respect them
2. Don't do things that you would be ashamed to tell your spouse about
3. Be present for your spouse
4. Apologize when you do stupid things
5. Make them laugh when you can
1. Make sure your spouse knows every day how much you love, value and respect them
2. Don't do things that you would be ashamed to tell your spouse about
3. Be present for your spouse
4. Apologize when you do stupid things
5. Make them laugh when you can
What’s the secret to a happy marriage?
December 6, 2024 at 1:11 AM
The secret to MY happy marriage:
1. Make sure your spouse knows every day how much you love, value and respect them
2. Don't do things that you would be ashamed to tell your spouse about
3. Be present for your spouse
4. Apologize when you do stupid things
5. Make them laugh when you can
1. Make sure your spouse knows every day how much you love, value and respect them
2. Don't do things that you would be ashamed to tell your spouse about
3. Be present for your spouse
4. Apologize when you do stupid things
5. Make them laugh when you can
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Impostor syndrome: “I don't know what I'm doing. It's only a matter of time until everyone finds out."
Growth mindset: "I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only a matter of time until I figure it out."
The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn.
Growth mindset: "I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only a matter of time until I figure it out."
The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn.
December 5, 2024 at 1:44 PM
Impostor syndrome: “I don't know what I'm doing. It's only a matter of time until everyone finds out."
Growth mindset: "I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only a matter of time until I figure it out."
The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn.
Growth mindset: "I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only a matter of time until I figure it out."
The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Yeah. It can feel like dire risks for trauma survivors to say "no" to people & situations we hate-- & "yes" to people & situations we're interested in. Regulating ourselves while we take those risks requires seriously intentional self-talk, mental focus, & use of our physiology.
December 5, 2024 at 5:20 PM
Yeah. It can feel like dire risks for trauma survivors to say "no" to people & situations we hate-- & "yes" to people & situations we're interested in. Regulating ourselves while we take those risks requires seriously intentional self-talk, mental focus, & use of our physiology.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Remember: the bullies' & abusers' voices that populate our emotional & behavioral "autopilot" want us to stay small & scared & stuck. If they want or don't want us to do a thing, it's a pretty good bet that the exact opposite of what they're urging is the actual path to freedom.
December 5, 2024 at 6:13 PM
Remember: the bullies' & abusers' voices that populate our emotional & behavioral "autopilot" want us to stay small & scared & stuck. If they want or don't want us to do a thing, it's a pretty good bet that the exact opposite of what they're urging is the actual path to freedom.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
One phrase that is very triggering to abuse survivors is, “I would never have put up with that.”
It makes them feel they were weak for having endured it. It also implies they are partly to blame for ‘allowing’ themselves to be abused.
It makes them feel they were weak for having endured it. It also implies they are partly to blame for ‘allowing’ themselves to be abused.
December 5, 2024 at 7:56 PM
One phrase that is very triggering to abuse survivors is, “I would never have put up with that.”
It makes them feel they were weak for having endured it. It also implies they are partly to blame for ‘allowing’ themselves to be abused.
It makes them feel they were weak for having endured it. It also implies they are partly to blame for ‘allowing’ themselves to be abused.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
💰 #DomesticAbuse funding continues to decline sharply whilst cases continue to rise.
📢 Longer-term funding would provide stability, positively impacting frontline staff and survivors on their journey to safety and recovery.
#16Days #NoExcuse #VAWG #InvestInIdvas #Idva #Idaa
📢 Longer-term funding would provide stability, positively impacting frontline staff and survivors on their journey to safety and recovery.
#16Days #NoExcuse #VAWG #InvestInIdvas #Idva #Idaa
December 5, 2024 at 10:42 AM
💰 #DomesticAbuse funding continues to decline sharply whilst cases continue to rise.
📢 Longer-term funding would provide stability, positively impacting frontline staff and survivors on their journey to safety and recovery.
#16Days #NoExcuse #VAWG #InvestInIdvas #Idva #Idaa
📢 Longer-term funding would provide stability, positively impacting frontline staff and survivors on their journey to safety and recovery.
#16Days #NoExcuse #VAWG #InvestInIdvas #Idva #Idaa
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
They spread lies about the survivor with the aim of socially isolating them and eliminating any support the survivor has from friends and family. Often, the survivor is unaware of these lies. One such lie is the assertion that you cannot move on, a tactic used to depict the survivor as crazy
#16days
#16days
December 5, 2024 at 7:26 AM
They spread lies about the survivor with the aim of socially isolating them and eliminating any support the survivor has from friends and family. Often, the survivor is unaware of these lies. One such lie is the assertion that you cannot move on, a tactic used to depict the survivor as crazy
#16days
#16days
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
You are allowed to choose yourself over someone who makes you feel small.
You are allowed to prioritize your mental health.
You are allowed to leave a situation that hurts you, even if it means disappointing others.
you are worthy of a life filled with peace and respect.
You are allowed to prioritize your mental health.
You are allowed to leave a situation that hurts you, even if it means disappointing others.
you are worthy of a life filled with peace and respect.
December 5, 2024 at 12:33 PM
You are allowed to choose yourself over someone who makes you feel small.
You are allowed to prioritize your mental health.
You are allowed to leave a situation that hurts you, even if it means disappointing others.
you are worthy of a life filled with peace and respect.
You are allowed to prioritize your mental health.
You are allowed to leave a situation that hurts you, even if it means disappointing others.
you are worthy of a life filled with peace and respect.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
I don't recommend thinking in terms of getting back to "who you were" before the trauma. I say think in terms of who you can be. A life & career & relationship that can realistically meet your needs & keep you interested-- now.
Don't look back. We're not going that way.
Don't look back. We're not going that way.
December 5, 2024 at 12:28 AM
I don't recommend thinking in terms of getting back to "who you were" before the trauma. I say think in terms of who you can be. A life & career & relationship that can realistically meet your needs & keep you interested-- now.
Don't look back. We're not going that way.
Don't look back. We're not going that way.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Toxic positivity gives me the absolute ick
It's okay to not feel positive about every single little thing in life. It's as bad as being constantly negative.
Like actual shit happens in life and it's okay to NOT look for a positive outlook every single time. It's fine to be sad or down or angry.
It's okay to not feel positive about every single little thing in life. It's as bad as being constantly negative.
Like actual shit happens in life and it's okay to NOT look for a positive outlook every single time. It's fine to be sad or down or angry.
December 4, 2024 at 12:34 PM
Toxic positivity gives me the absolute ick
It's okay to not feel positive about every single little thing in life. It's as bad as being constantly negative.
Like actual shit happens in life and it's okay to NOT look for a positive outlook every single time. It's fine to be sad or down or angry.
It's okay to not feel positive about every single little thing in life. It's as bad as being constantly negative.
Like actual shit happens in life and it's okay to NOT look for a positive outlook every single time. It's fine to be sad or down or angry.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
This entire thread is great and genuine (read up) but I want to highlight this—this is a fundamental of abuse and trauma recovery. You get your power back when you stop trying to satisfy people who don’t care about you. When you stop playing the game their way.
I have been there. And trust me, anyone who needs to be convinced that you’re a human being will be unconvinced the moment it fits their narrative.
November 24, 2024 at 2:09 AM
This entire thread is great and genuine (read up) but I want to highlight this—this is a fundamental of abuse and trauma recovery. You get your power back when you stop trying to satisfy people who don’t care about you. When you stop playing the game their way.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Normalize trusting your intuition. When your body says no to a situation, person, or place – trust it and leave immediately.
December 4, 2024 at 2:11 PM
Normalize trusting your intuition. When your body says no to a situation, person, or place – trust it and leave immediately.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Abusers manipulate victims into believing that they’re responsible for the abuser's actions. But the abuser’s actions are always a conscious choice made by them. In a healthy relationship when one partner feels can compromise without resorting to actions that harm the other person.
#16days
#16days
December 4, 2024 at 7:12 AM
Abusers manipulate victims into believing that they’re responsible for the abuser's actions. But the abuser’s actions are always a conscious choice made by them. In a healthy relationship when one partner feels can compromise without resorting to actions that harm the other person.
#16days
#16days
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
It's not a coincidence that a big part of our trauma conditioning is devoted to keeping us unaware & afraid of our anger. If we're in touch w/ it, unafraid of it, & skilled at managing it, anger is an irreplaceable recovery tool-- one that "they" don't want us to have access to.
December 3, 2024 at 10:25 PM
It's not a coincidence that a big part of our trauma conditioning is devoted to keeping us unaware & afraid of our anger. If we're in touch w/ it, unafraid of it, & skilled at managing it, anger is an irreplaceable recovery tool-- one that "they" don't want us to have access to.
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Reminder that some of the hotlines people are sharing for crisis conversations 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐬, regardless of what your wishes are.
These ones won't.
Add'l notes in the 🧵
These ones won't.
Add'l notes in the 🧵
November 6, 2024 at 5:28 PM
Reminder that some of the hotlines people are sharing for crisis conversations 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐬, regardless of what your wishes are.
These ones won't.
Add'l notes in the 🧵
These ones won't.
Add'l notes in the 🧵
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Reposted by Stop Domestic Violence
Can Anything Persuade Abusive Men to Give Up Coercive Control?
Read my new Substack article dremmakatz.substack.com/p/abusive-me...
🧵
#domesticviolence #coercivecontrol
Read my new Substack article dremmakatz.substack.com/p/abusive-me...
🧵
#domesticviolence #coercivecontrol
December 3, 2024 at 12:16 PM
Can Anything Persuade Abusive Men to Give Up Coercive Control?
Read my new Substack article dremmakatz.substack.com/p/abusive-me...
🧵
#domesticviolence #coercivecontrol
Read my new Substack article dremmakatz.substack.com/p/abusive-me...
🧵
#domesticviolence #coercivecontrol
while a victim is never at fault for the abuse they suffer, building a healthy relationship with oneself is the most reliable way to protect yourself from future abuse
December 4, 2024 at 1:29 AM
while a victim is never at fault for the abuse they suffer, building a healthy relationship with oneself is the most reliable way to protect yourself from future abuse