@emilyorates.bsky.social
I almost peed laughing
A local artist traded me some odd objects for some of my art. One was a soup bomb. I assumed ”bomb” meant it was for the bath, maybe a little vegetal. My mom LOVES baths.
Turns out it was soup. In a ball. And my mom had to call for help to get out of the bathtub.
Turns out it was soup. In a ball. And my mom had to call for help to get out of the bathtub.
November 25, 2025 at 3:20 AM
I almost peed laughing
I wrote a song inspired by a true story. To the tune of Popular: Baklava! You're gonna eat baklava!
November 25, 2025 at 1:32 AM
I wrote a song inspired by a true story. To the tune of Popular: Baklava! You're gonna eat baklava!
Wallace Shawn was canvassing for Zohran yesterday in my neighborhood and I missed it. Inconceivable!
November 3, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Wallace Shawn was canvassing for Zohran yesterday in my neighborhood and I missed it. Inconceivable!
"You need to arrive 15 minutes before your appointment time". I chose my 3:00 appointment time because that's when I can arrive, now you tell me to arrive at 2:45. So 2:45 is really my appointment time. Maybe you all should factor in those 15 minutes into your appointments, because this is silly.
September 22, 2025 at 6:27 PM
"You need to arrive 15 minutes before your appointment time". I chose my 3:00 appointment time because that's when I can arrive, now you tell me to arrive at 2:45. So 2:45 is really my appointment time. Maybe you all should factor in those 15 minutes into your appointments, because this is silly.
It's begun. I just heard a christmas song in an ad. Can I fast forward to January please?
September 17, 2025 at 3:24 PM
It's begun. I just heard a christmas song in an ad. Can I fast forward to January please?
Reposted
Hi. Hey. Mike here. When media companies cancel Late Night shows to appease fascist presidents, America fucking ends.
July 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Hi. Hey. Mike here. When media companies cancel Late Night shows to appease fascist presidents, America fucking ends.
How would you react if you walked into a bagel shop and they asked you to wait outside because they open at 7am and it's 6:58?
June 18, 2025 at 3:05 PM
How would you react if you walked into a bagel shop and they asked you to wait outside because they open at 7am and it's 6:58?
Reposted
History has its eyes on you.
June 8, 2025 at 5:34 AM
History has its eyes on you.
The clue for 7 across in the NYT mini for today is "What Santa, Gandalf and Dumbledore each have". 5 letters and somehow "elves" isn't the answer but it's totally true. (Also boo JK Rowling.)
June 8, 2025 at 4:34 AM
The clue for 7 across in the NYT mini for today is "What Santa, Gandalf and Dumbledore each have". 5 letters and somehow "elves" isn't the answer but it's totally true. (Also boo JK Rowling.)
I can't sleep so instead my brain reminded me of that time at a middle school dance when I asked a boy to dance and he said no and a minute later I heard him say to a friend, "You'll never guess who just asked me to dance" and then he realized I heard him. Thanks brain!
May 27, 2025 at 10:08 AM
I can't sleep so instead my brain reminded me of that time at a middle school dance when I asked a boy to dance and he said no and a minute later I heard him say to a friend, "You'll never guess who just asked me to dance" and then he realized I heard him. Thanks brain!
@cignahealthcare.bsky.social continues to make me miserable and waste my time and energy. That's the update.
May 5, 2025 at 3:05 PM
@cignahealthcare.bsky.social continues to make me miserable and waste my time and energy. That's the update.
My least favorite kind of Teams message: "I just emailed you, can you check it when you get a chance?"
That was already my plan, in fact!
That was already my plan, in fact!
April 15, 2025 at 2:40 PM
My least favorite kind of Teams message: "I just emailed you, can you check it when you get a chance?"
That was already my plan, in fact!
That was already my plan, in fact!
Reposted
More of this, please. A LOT more of this, please.
Chatterbox Jazz Club in Indianapolis is the place to be! Be certain you stop by and support them!
chatterboxjazz.com
chatterboxjazz.com
March 17, 2025 at 4:17 PM
More of this, please. A LOT more of this, please.
British coworker: can you send this request? If I do it, I'll get shot.
Me: I don't know, as an American, I'm way more likely to get shot.
Too dark?
Me: I don't know, as an American, I'm way more likely to get shot.
Too dark?
March 10, 2025 at 3:05 PM
British coworker: can you send this request? If I do it, I'll get shot.
Me: I don't know, as an American, I'm way more likely to get shot.
Too dark?
Me: I don't know, as an American, I'm way more likely to get shot.
Too dark?
This whole covid has killed my senses of taste and smell thing is so odd. What do I want for dinner? Chewy and wet no flavor? Soft and cold nothing?
February 20, 2025 at 11:22 PM
This whole covid has killed my senses of taste and smell thing is so odd. What do I want for dinner? Chewy and wet no flavor? Soft and cold nothing?
Reposted
Your IKEA product name is your name spelled backwards with an umlaut.
I am YLÏMË, a bookshelf with many spots for tchotchkes.
I am YLÏMË, a bookshelf with many spots for tchotchkes.
Your IKEA product name is your name spelled backwards with an umlaut.
I'm AHSÄS, a humidifier.
I'm AHSÄS, a humidifier.
Your IKEA product name is your name spelled backwards with an umlaut.
I'm CRÄM, a storage system.
I'm CRÄM, a storage system.
November 29, 2024 at 10:20 AM
Your IKEA product name is your name spelled backwards with an umlaut.
I am YLÏMË, a bookshelf with many spots for tchotchkes.
I am YLÏMË, a bookshelf with many spots for tchotchkes.