El Gringo
@elgringochorizo.bsky.social
Shitposter, musician, giver of no fuks. *Memes are 99% stolen.
*formerly @GringoBrulee on the bird app
*formerly @GringoBrulee on the bird app
Pinned
El Gringo
@elgringochorizo.bsky.social
· Nov 18
Here was my major contribution to what was. Before the dark times. Before the empire took over. #starwars #humor #marriedlife #jedi
So….this rapture thing still happening? No?
September 23, 2025 at 11:41 PM
So….this rapture thing still happening? No?
*watching a short film
"What are you doing, Step-Bro?!?!"
Me: This is totally unrealistic. Who directed this?
"What are you doing, Step-Bro?!?!"
Me: This is totally unrealistic. Who directed this?
August 4, 2025 at 12:00 PM
*watching a short film
"What are you doing, Step-Bro?!?!"
Me: This is totally unrealistic. Who directed this?
"What are you doing, Step-Bro?!?!"
Me: This is totally unrealistic. Who directed this?
*E-Harmony commercial comes on
Actress 1: I'm looking for something real
Actress 2: I know someone's out there for me.
Wife: These women have never been stuck in a room with a guy like you for 5 hours.
Me: Don't sweet talk me.
Actress 1: I'm looking for something real
Actress 2: I know someone's out there for me.
Wife: These women have never been stuck in a room with a guy like you for 5 hours.
Me: Don't sweet talk me.
March 27, 2025 at 3:54 PM
*E-Harmony commercial comes on
Actress 1: I'm looking for something real
Actress 2: I know someone's out there for me.
Wife: These women have never been stuck in a room with a guy like you for 5 hours.
Me: Don't sweet talk me.
Actress 1: I'm looking for something real
Actress 2: I know someone's out there for me.
Wife: These women have never been stuck in a room with a guy like you for 5 hours.
Me: Don't sweet talk me.
Reposted by El Gringo
Reposted by El Gringo
Can someone tell me why it’s called boob sweat and not humidititties???
March 17, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Can someone tell me why it’s called boob sweat and not humidititties???
I'm a nill'ionaire philanthropist, but I sure can make some fucking memes.
*me reading a story to the wife about how I got nothing done on my day off
*me reading a story to the wife about how I got nothing done on my day off
March 15, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I'm a nill'ionaire philanthropist, but I sure can make some fucking memes.
*me reading a story to the wife about how I got nothing done on my day off
*me reading a story to the wife about how I got nothing done on my day off
*notices wife is looking absolutely smoking
Wife: What? What are you staring at? You wanna fight or something?
Me:
Wife: What? What are you staring at? You wanna fight or something?
Me:
a man is sitting in front of a screen with the number ten on it
ALT: a man is sitting in front of a screen with the number ten on it
media.tenor.com
March 7, 2025 at 2:04 AM
*notices wife is looking absolutely smoking
Wife: What? What are you staring at? You wanna fight or something?
Me:
Wife: What? What are you staring at? You wanna fight or something?
Me:
Reposted by El Gringo
how long does it take for kindness to kill someone ffs.
March 2, 2025 at 2:40 PM
how long does it take for kindness to kill someone ffs.
Things I’d never thought I’d see in my life.
The hot goth friends biddies.
John Cena turn heel.
A million dollars.
Well, one out of three ain’t bad….
The hot goth friends biddies.
John Cena turn heel.
A million dollars.
Well, one out of three ain’t bad….
March 2, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Things I’d never thought I’d see in my life.
The hot goth friends biddies.
John Cena turn heel.
A million dollars.
Well, one out of three ain’t bad….
The hot goth friends biddies.
John Cena turn heel.
A million dollars.
Well, one out of three ain’t bad….
Had a terrible day? Go to the gym and do cardio. Make it fucking worse.
February 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Had a terrible day? Go to the gym and do cardio. Make it fucking worse.
Therapist: What do you hope to accomplish with me?
Me: World Domination?
T: No
Me: Superpowers?
T: No
Me: Use the force?
T: No....
Me: I wanna be happy?
T: Finally. An achievable goal.
Me: By using the force?
T: Get out
Me: World Domination?
T: No
Me: Superpowers?
T: No
Me: Use the force?
T: No....
Me: I wanna be happy?
T: Finally. An achievable goal.
Me: By using the force?
T: Get out
February 27, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Therapist: What do you hope to accomplish with me?
Me: World Domination?
T: No
Me: Superpowers?
T: No
Me: Use the force?
T: No....
Me: I wanna be happy?
T: Finally. An achievable goal.
Me: By using the force?
T: Get out
Me: World Domination?
T: No
Me: Superpowers?
T: No
Me: Use the force?
T: No....
Me: I wanna be happy?
T: Finally. An achievable goal.
Me: By using the force?
T: Get out
Reposted by El Gringo
Them: "What got you into Classical Music?"
Me: ...
Me: ...
February 24, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Them: "What got you into Classical Music?"
Me: ...
Me: ...
Them: So, even tho your mom passed away, do you think she haunts you?
Me: She judges from beyond the Veil. She may be gone but a mother’s guilt is forever.
Me: She judges from beyond the Veil. She may be gone but a mother’s guilt is forever.
February 24, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Them: So, even tho your mom passed away, do you think she haunts you?
Me: She judges from beyond the Veil. She may be gone but a mother’s guilt is forever.
Me: She judges from beyond the Veil. She may be gone but a mother’s guilt is forever.
Reposted by El Gringo
Looking forward to the ultimate weighted blanket, six feet of dirt piled on top of me.
February 23, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Looking forward to the ultimate weighted blanket, six feet of dirt piled on top of me.
Reposted by El Gringo
BlueSky is where all the kids who had their desks moved to the hallway hang out
February 17, 2025 at 8:20 PM
BlueSky is where all the kids who had their desks moved to the hallway hang out
Reposted by El Gringo
roses are red
holy fuck we’re all gonna die
holy fuck we’re all gonna die
February 15, 2025 at 11:22 PM
roses are red
holy fuck we’re all gonna die
holy fuck we’re all gonna die
*shaving beanbag
Wife: You know you’re not getting any for Valentine’s Day right?
Me: *midway holding my leg up
What day?
Wife: You know you’re not getting any for Valentine’s Day right?
Me: *midway holding my leg up
What day?
February 15, 2025 at 12:32 AM
*shaving beanbag
Wife: You know you’re not getting any for Valentine’s Day right?
Me: *midway holding my leg up
What day?
Wife: You know you’re not getting any for Valentine’s Day right?
Me: *midway holding my leg up
What day?
Reposted by El Gringo
🎶One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now cram a live grenade down my throat🎶
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now cram a live grenade down my throat🎶
February 12, 2025 at 3:40 PM
🎶One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now cram a live grenade down my throat🎶
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now cram a live grenade down my throat🎶
Reposted by El Gringo
Wife: I'm pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, l'm dad.
Wife: No, you're not.
Husband: Hi pregnant, l'm dad.
Wife: No, you're not.
February 10, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Wife: I'm pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, l'm dad.
Wife: No, you're not.
Husband: Hi pregnant, l'm dad.
Wife: No, you're not.
Reposted by El Gringo
Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one
Except for February which is just fucked up.
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one
Except for February which is just fucked up.
February 10, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one
Except for February which is just fucked up.
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one
Except for February which is just fucked up.
I hear the way to get Mayo to spoil real fast is to put on a Super Bowl Halftime show they don’t like.
February 10, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I hear the way to get Mayo to spoil real fast is to put on a Super Bowl Halftime show they don’t like.
Coworker: Are you gonna crash out today?
Me: When’s the last time I crashed out?
Coworker: Yesterday
Me: mother fu…
Me: When’s the last time I crashed out?
Coworker: Yesterday
Me: mother fu…
February 8, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Coworker: Are you gonna crash out today?
Me: When’s the last time I crashed out?
Coworker: Yesterday
Me: mother fu…
Me: When’s the last time I crashed out?
Coworker: Yesterday
Me: mother fu…