Best Egg
@egglandsbestegg.bsky.social
Space enthusiast 🪐 • Proud dad 👶🏼 • Trekkie 🖖 • Software engineer 👨💻 • Ok-ish husband 🤡 • Machine hunter 🏹 • Not a real egg 🥚 • Opinions are my own 💭
Also the guy behind SpaceDashboard.com (@spacedashboard.com) and @CloseApproaches.com
Also the guy behind SpaceDashboard.com (@spacedashboard.com) and @CloseApproaches.com
I think our tv might not be big enough
November 11, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I think our tv might not be big enough
She had pancakes– pray for our plumbing
November 9, 2025 at 1:34 PM
She had pancakes– pray for our plumbing
Guys, I figured it out! I know how to enjoy food without the heartburn.
You chew it up, enjoying and savoring the wonderful flavors. Just when you’re about done you simply spit it out.
Heartburn avoided!
You chew it up, enjoying and savoring the wonderful flavors. Just when you’re about done you simply spit it out.
Heartburn avoided!
November 2, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Guys, I figured it out! I know how to enjoy food without the heartburn.
You chew it up, enjoying and savoring the wonderful flavors. Just when you’re about done you simply spit it out.
Heartburn avoided!
You chew it up, enjoying and savoring the wonderful flavors. Just when you’re about done you simply spit it out.
Heartburn avoided!
He’s planning something, I can feel it.
October 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
He’s planning something, I can feel it.
4-year-old Egg was trash talking during Mario Kart and said he was going to chainsaw me.
a cartoon of ralph from the simpsons sits in an orange seat in front of an emergency exit sign
ALT: a cartoon of ralph from the simpsons sits in an orange seat in front of an emergency exit sign
media.tenor.com
October 28, 2025 at 11:07 PM
4-year-old Egg was trash talking during Mario Kart and said he was going to chainsaw me.
Apple should make it possible, for a very small fee, to request a physical version of movies purchased through them. I feel myself aging every day and all I want is the ability to watch a movie I bought without the need for internet should I choose 👴🏻
October 28, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Apple should make it possible, for a very small fee, to request a physical version of movies purchased through them. I feel myself aging every day and all I want is the ability to watch a movie I bought without the need for internet should I choose 👴🏻
She’s being especially hurtful this morning and giving me her pancakes she couldn’t finish.
She knows I love pancakes, and sHe KnOWs oF mY AFFLICTIONS!
🚫👅
🚫👃
🚫👂
She knows I love pancakes, and sHe KnOWs oF mY AFFLICTIONS!
🚫👅
🚫👃
🚫👂
October 22, 2025 at 11:29 AM
She’s being especially hurtful this morning and giving me her pancakes she couldn’t finish.
She knows I love pancakes, and sHe KnOWs oF mY AFFLICTIONS!
🚫👅
🚫👃
🚫👂
She knows I love pancakes, and sHe KnOWs oF mY AFFLICTIONS!
🚫👅
🚫👃
🚫👂
There’s a new 8 legged body in the basement that I will not be telling her about.
Happy spooky season!
Happy spooky season!
October 19, 2025 at 1:53 AM
There’s a new 8 legged body in the basement that I will not be telling her about.
Happy spooky season!
Happy spooky season!
Oh, I forgot I swindled my way into getting a brand new upper torque mount for my old car, what am I gonna do with this upper torque mount now? Anyone need an upper torque mount for an old Volvo XC60?
October 10, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Oh, I forgot I swindled my way into getting a brand new upper torque mount for my old car, what am I gonna do with this upper torque mount now? Anyone need an upper torque mount for an old Volvo XC60?
Last day to get your $7500 tax credit for qualifying electric vehicle purchases!
September 30, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Last day to get your $7500 tax credit for qualifying electric vehicle purchases!
I am old, I made the oldest person mistake, I butt dialed someone and didn’t notice until three minutes into the call.
Send me to a home already
Send me to a home already
September 27, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I am old, I made the oldest person mistake, I butt dialed someone and didn’t notice until three minutes into the call.
Send me to a home already
Send me to a home already
Baby Egg keeps calling Jar Jar Binks “Tuba” and when I asked why he said “it’s his middle name”.
So it’s official, his full name is Jar Jar Tuba Binks.
So it’s official, his full name is Jar Jar Tuba Binks.
September 27, 2025 at 12:02 PM
Baby Egg keeps calling Jar Jar Binks “Tuba” and when I asked why he said “it’s his middle name”.
So it’s official, his full name is Jar Jar Tuba Binks.
So it’s official, his full name is Jar Jar Tuba Binks.
Reposted by Best Egg
my parenting secret is Big Cardboard Box. are your kids grumpy? bored? on their toddler bullshit? ask if Big Cardboard Box is right for your family
September 25, 2025 at 2:00 PM
my parenting secret is Big Cardboard Box. are your kids grumpy? bored? on their toddler bullshit? ask if Big Cardboard Box is right for your family
I just watched a video on how to make the perfect Pinewood Derby car that is guaranteed to win every time. This is what all dads do, right?
September 25, 2025 at 2:17 AM
I just watched a video on how to make the perfect Pinewood Derby car that is guaranteed to win every time. This is what all dads do, right?
I do not like iOS‘s new automatic grocery list categorization.
September 17, 2025 at 1:17 PM
I do not like iOS‘s new automatic grocery list categorization.
how to turn off the glass
September 16, 2025 at 12:07 AM
how to turn off the glass
Reposted by Best Egg
A casting choice that sounds weird but I think would really work is if you made a Winnie the Pooh movie and cast Willem Dafoe as Rabbit
September 8, 2025 at 9:59 PM
A casting choice that sounds weird but I think would really work is if you made a Winnie the Pooh movie and cast Willem Dafoe as Rabbit
Me, getting crushed by life’s problems, just trying to keep it together.
September 7, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Me, getting crushed by life’s problems, just trying to keep it together.
Reposted by Best Egg
MAMA
Be quiet Freddie
JUST KILLED A MAN
As your lawyer I-
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD
Just-
PULLED THE TRIGGER-
We plead guilty, Your Honor
Be quiet Freddie
JUST KILLED A MAN
As your lawyer I-
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD
Just-
PULLED THE TRIGGER-
We plead guilty, Your Honor
August 25, 2025 at 6:07 PM
MAMA
Be quiet Freddie
JUST KILLED A MAN
As your lawyer I-
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD
Just-
PULLED THE TRIGGER-
We plead guilty, Your Honor
Be quiet Freddie
JUST KILLED A MAN
As your lawyer I-
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD
Just-
PULLED THE TRIGGER-
We plead guilty, Your Honor
I would love to get Southwest on a conference call with Expedia so they can tell each other to go contact the other for help until they're both blue in the face and I emerge as the victor.
September 3, 2025 at 1:52 AM
I would love to get Southwest on a conference call with Expedia so they can tell each other to go contact the other for help until they're both blue in the face and I emerge as the victor.
Our boy is unintentionally the funniest person I know
Lil Parm calls Ninja Turtles “Engine Turtles” so that’s what we all call them now
August 29, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Our boy is unintentionally the funniest person I know
what the actual 🖕🏼
The FDA approved the next round of COVID vaccines, but is restricting them to people at high risk for COVID complications.
The latest COVID vaccines come with new FDA limits
The Food and Drug Administration approved the next round of COVID-19 vaccines, but is restricting them to people at high risk for COVID complications.
n.pr
August 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
what the actual 🖕🏼
Uh oh, I’m thinking about them again
August 24, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Uh oh, I’m thinking about them again
Man, them Romans made some really cool stuff.
August 22, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Man, them Romans made some really cool stuff.