𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝑲𝒊𝒓𝒌𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅
@buggeredoff.bsky.social
𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚. | nullul.straw.page
Pinned
𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝑲𝒊𝒓𝒌𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅
@buggeredoff.bsky.social
· Feb 11
♡ ∩_∩
╭ („• ֊ •„)♡ ୨୧ ┈┈ • ┈╮
U U
𝑵𝒚𝒐!𝑬𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 ♡
𝒎𝒅𝒏𝒊 ♡
𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒑 ♡
╰┈ • ┈ ┈ ୨୧ ┈┈ • ┈╯
╭ („• ֊ •„)♡ ୨୧ ┈┈ • ┈╮
U U
𝑵𝒚𝒐!𝑬𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 ♡
𝒎𝒅𝒏𝒊 ♡
𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒑 ♡
╰┈ • ┈ ┈ ୨୧ ┈┈ • ┈╯
I am happy. I don't need a relationship to be happy. Have you ever considered I might be aromantic?
[ laughing as he lets go ]
I just want ye tae always be happy.
I just want ye tae always be happy.
Eugh! Gross!
[ Smacks his arm before stepping away. ]
That's not real. I'm happy enough as it is.
[ Smacks his arm before stepping away. ]
That's not real. I'm happy enough as it is.
February 2, 2026 at 4:16 AM
I am happy. I don't need a relationship to be happy. Have you ever considered I might be aromantic?
Eugh! Gross!
[ Smacks his arm before stepping away. ]
That's not real. I'm happy enough as it is.
[ Smacks his arm before stepping away. ]
That's not real. I'm happy enough as it is.
Sibling telepathy. I know everything, even when ye leave only one scone fer me at tea.
[ blowing a raspberry on her cheek ]
Meat sweats meat sweats
[ blowing a raspberry on her cheek ]
Meat sweats meat sweats
How do you know I'm not happy?
[ Rolling her eyes. ]
You smell like meat.. Go get in the bath.
[ Rolling her eyes. ]
You smell like meat.. Go get in the bath.
February 2, 2026 at 3:56 AM
Eugh! Gross!
[ Smacks his arm before stepping away. ]
That's not real. I'm happy enough as it is.
[ Smacks his arm before stepping away. ]
That's not real. I'm happy enough as it is.
How do you know I'm not happy?
[ Rolling her eyes. ]
You smell like meat.. Go get in the bath.
[ Rolling her eyes. ]
You smell like meat.. Go get in the bath.
I say raaahh
[ pressing their temples together ]
I know i act like a right bastard, but i do care aboot ye.
[ pressing their temples together ]
I know i act like a right bastard, but i do care aboot ye.
Who says I'm not happy?
[ Reluctantly enduring his bear trap of a hug. ]
[ Reluctantly enduring his bear trap of a hug. ]
February 2, 2026 at 3:51 AM
How do you know I'm not happy?
[ Rolling her eyes. ]
You smell like meat.. Go get in the bath.
[ Rolling her eyes. ]
You smell like meat.. Go get in the bath.
Who says I'm not happy?
[ Reluctantly enduring his bear trap of a hug. ]
[ Reluctantly enduring his bear trap of a hug. ]
Aliiiiice you deserve tae be happyyyy
[ squeezing her in a hug while rocking her back and forth ]
Listen tae yer big brooooo
[ squeezing her in a hug while rocking her back and forth ]
Listen tae yer big brooooo
I'll take my chances forever alone.
February 1, 2026 at 12:38 PM
Who says I'm not happy?
[ Reluctantly enduring his bear trap of a hug. ]
[ Reluctantly enduring his bear trap of a hug. ]
I'll take my chances forever alone.
A hunch isnt much evidence, Alice. Give the poor bastard a chance at least
It's just a hunch.
February 1, 2026 at 12:09 PM
I'll take my chances forever alone.
It's just a hunch.
No? Why not? She’s lovesick, sure, but it’s not like he’s plotting world domination
I don't think I could handle Francis, if I'm honest.
February 1, 2026 at 11:35 AM
It's just a hunch.
I don't think I could handle Francis, if I'm honest.
Franny’s always propositioned…
There’s gotta be someone out there for you
There’s gotta be someone out there for you
If there was someone who would date me, I think we would be dating by now. How long have I lived, single? We would have found each other by now.
February 1, 2026 at 11:14 AM
I don't think I could handle Francis, if I'm honest.
If there was someone who would date me, I think we would be dating by now. How long have I lived, single? We would have found each other by now.
Still, ye’re a bonnie lass. There’s got tae be someone who’d date ye
It's not that simple. Not everyone is a lovable fat oaf.
February 1, 2026 at 6:36 AM
If there was someone who would date me, I think we would be dating by now. How long have I lived, single? We would have found each other by now.
I see how it is. Alasdair hates me and wants me to hex myself.
January 31, 2026 at 2:45 PM
I see how it is. Alasdair hates me and wants me to hex myself.
It's not that simple. Not everyone is a lovable fat oaf.
Alice for the love of god please get a date
Its human grade.
January 31, 2026 at 2:08 PM
It's not that simple. Not everyone is a lovable fat oaf.
Its human grade.
Who the fuck is eating dog food
January 31, 2026 at 12:16 PM
Its human grade.
Rude.
I wouldn't be able to tell
I don't make them with dog food for other people.
January 31, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Rude.
I don't make them with dog food for other people.
This is another reason why I dun eat at Alice's house
January 31, 2026 at 4:49 AM
I don't make them with dog food for other people.
I just use canned dog food as a cheap alternative for my meat pies.
January 30, 2026 at 11:49 PM
I just use canned dog food as a cheap alternative for my meat pies.
First thing in the morning this man is thinking about dicks. Typical 😒
January 10, 2026 at 6:50 PM
First thing in the morning this man is thinking about dicks. Typical 😒
You couldn't seduce me to do anything if you tried.
Well I can’t seduce you into being quick
Stop messing up my plans.
December 14, 2025 at 6:37 AM
You couldn't seduce me to do anything if you tried.
Stop messing up my plans.
You’re not the only magic person I know
[ Eyeroll. ]
Wait until after Christmas.
Wait until after Christmas.
December 14, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Stop messing up my plans.
[ Eyeroll. ]
Wait until after Christmas.
Wait until after Christmas.
Because I didn’t have feelings then!
I understand that. But, she was big before. Why didn't you woo her then?
December 14, 2025 at 6:15 AM
[ Eyeroll. ]
Wait until after Christmas.
Wait until after Christmas.
[ In the confessional booth, staring at the camera, arms crossed. ]
I know how to change her back. I'm not saying how though.
I know how to change her back. I'm not saying how though.
December 14, 2025 at 6:08 AM
[ In the confessional booth, staring at the camera, arms crossed. ]
I know how to change her back. I'm not saying how though.
I know how to change her back. I'm not saying how though.
I understand that. But, she was big before. Why didn't you woo her then?
She literally said to put any wooing or marriage requests on hold until she’s normal size!
Trying? She's not that hard to woo.
December 14, 2025 at 6:05 AM
I understand that. But, she was big before. Why didn't you woo her then?
Trying? She's not that hard to woo.
I’ve been trying to for a while now
Me, literally a second ago. Woo her some other time.
December 14, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Trying? She's not that hard to woo.
Me, literally a second ago. Woo her some other time.
Says who?! I’m trying to woo her dammit!
No, I need her that small.
December 14, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Me, literally a second ago. Woo her some other time.
No, I need her that small.
ALICE! TURN THAT PRETTY MAPLE LEAF BACK INTO NORMAL SIZE!
December 14, 2025 at 5:01 AM
No, I need her that small.
Exactly. You know the drill.
Gotcha, gotcha. Being sneaky. Being covert. Incognito
Possibly.
December 14, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Exactly. You know the drill.
Possibly.
Are you the one I paid to cast a spell on a certain person obsessed with their brother
And she's me.
December 14, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Possibly.