Bea Kaye
@bk.drvip.com
🦬 🛼 📺 "While it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions."
Pinned
Bea Kaye
@bk.drvip.com
· 6d
Tired: JD Vance should be excommunicated
Wired: We hired three Etsy witches to curse JD Vance's forehead. If you see it shrinking no you don't
Wired: We hired three Etsy witches to curse JD Vance's forehead. If you see it shrinking no you don't
Joe Rogan: Jesus was born to a virgin.
Me: ...no
Joe Rogan, Who Had A Career Making People Eat Bugs For Money: Computers are also virgins
Me: No.
Proto-Mr. Beast, Without The Burger Chain: That's why Jesus is A.i., if you think about it
Me: CAN you think? Can you breathe without talking?
Me: ...no
Joe Rogan, Who Had A Career Making People Eat Bugs For Money: Computers are also virgins
Me: No.
Proto-Mr. Beast, Without The Burger Chain: That's why Jesus is A.i., if you think about it
Me: CAN you think? Can you breathe without talking?
December 5, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Joe Rogan: Jesus was born to a virgin.
Me: ...no
Joe Rogan, Who Had A Career Making People Eat Bugs For Money: Computers are also virgins
Me: No.
Proto-Mr. Beast, Without The Burger Chain: That's why Jesus is A.i., if you think about it
Me: CAN you think? Can you breathe without talking?
Me: ...no
Joe Rogan, Who Had A Career Making People Eat Bugs For Money: Computers are also virgins
Me: No.
Proto-Mr. Beast, Without The Burger Chain: That's why Jesus is A.i., if you think about it
Me: CAN you think? Can you breathe without talking?
The other day I worked out the Blues Brothers plot hole that you people keep telling me wasn't a plot hole
I'm ready to die now, Lord, and I'm not telling these heathens your divine plan for property taxes before I go 🙏
I'm ready to die now, Lord, and I'm not telling these heathens your divine plan for property taxes before I go 🙏
December 5, 2025 at 5:17 PM
The other day I worked out the Blues Brothers plot hole that you people keep telling me wasn't a plot hole
I'm ready to die now, Lord, and I'm not telling these heathens your divine plan for property taxes before I go 🙏
I'm ready to die now, Lord, and I'm not telling these heathens your divine plan for property taxes before I go 🙏
I have never considered that Dr. John may have been Tom Bombadil
The Meters 1974
YouTube video by FunkensteinJr
youtu.be
December 5, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I have never considered that Dr. John may have been Tom Bombadil
Wow they got WB money but not Third Season money
BREAKING: Netflix has entered into a definitive agreement to buy Warner Bros. in a deal worth $82.7 billion. https://bit.ly/49UVgXb
December 5, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Wow they got WB money but not Third Season money
I will never forget the Chardon survivor who told me this song was on the radio as the shooting happened and she never wanted to hear this song again.
December 5, 2025 at 4:03 AM
I will never forget the Chardon survivor who told me this song was on the radio as the shooting happened and she never wanted to hear this song again.
Today's a good day to remember Niecy Nash exists! 💗
Phew. Flip her over and Niecy will let you know when an hour has passed.
December 5, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Today's a good day to remember Niecy Nash exists! 💗
It's a good day to remember that Toby Keith died young. 🖤
December 4, 2025 at 11:53 PM
It's a good day to remember that Toby Keith died young. 🖤
Reposted by Bea Kaye
no i do not want to give you my email for 10% off. and furthermore, I don’t think i should have to click a button that says “i’m a dumb bitch” to indicate that. you’re a website that sells blankets and you can’t speak to me like that.
December 4, 2025 at 11:01 PM
no i do not want to give you my email for 10% off. and furthermore, I don’t think i should have to click a button that says “i’m a dumb bitch” to indicate that. you’re a website that sells blankets and you can’t speak to me like that.
Thanks to the Converse County Democrats for the gift card, I spent nearly $60 on spicy leftism
Oh, hey. Penzey's has vanilla at 33% off right now. It's still expensive, but better quality than most grocery store varieties, so it might be worth snagging a bottle or two.
www.penzeys.com/shop/spices/...
www.penzeys.com/shop/spices/...
Spices | Penzeys
www.penzeys.com
December 4, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Thanks to the Converse County Democrats for the gift card, I spent nearly $60 on spicy leftism
*cracks knuckles* Time for that stand-alone Ororo movie
December 4, 2025 at 9:15 PM
*cracks knuckles* Time for that stand-alone Ororo movie
It's just a weird time when the special guest of your Christmas event is a Navy bomb tech and that's supposed to be the draw
December 4, 2025 at 8:59 PM
It's just a weird time when the special guest of your Christmas event is a Navy bomb tech and that's supposed to be the draw
"Israel, a longtime military ally of the U.S., has spent more than two years now fixated on how to fight tunnels in Gaza."
Well now I'm sold. If Israel thinks it's a good way to blow shit up, then Chumlee is right to talk about it
Well now I'm sold. If Israel thinks it's a good way to blow shit up, then Chumlee is right to talk about it
Palmer Luckey Wants to Take War Beneath the Earth's Crust https://gizmodo.com/palmer-luckey-wants-to-take-war-beneath-the-earths-crust-2000695764
Palmer Luckey Wants to Take War Beneath the Earth's Crust
"People think it's some kind of crazy, crazy, nutty thing," said Luckey.
gizmodo.com
December 4, 2025 at 8:49 PM
"Israel, a longtime military ally of the U.S., has spent more than two years now fixated on how to fight tunnels in Gaza."
Well now I'm sold. If Israel thinks it's a good way to blow shit up, then Chumlee is right to talk about it
Well now I'm sold. If Israel thinks it's a good way to blow shit up, then Chumlee is right to talk about it
Here's a novel idea: How about the tenth richest guy in the world and his Ronald McDonald bride go ahead and just pay some fucking taxes
Michael and Susan Dell commit $6.25 billion for investment accounts for kids
Michael and Susan Dell are donating $6.25 billion to fund "Trump Accounts" for 25 million U.S. children. The gift would put $250 into each eligible child's account.
www.npr.org
December 4, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Here's a novel idea: How about the tenth richest guy in the world and his Ronald McDonald bride go ahead and just pay some fucking taxes
Sincerest apologies to @safety.bsky.app for calling you fashy, I didn't realize you'd accidentally fed Stephen Miller after midnight and all hell was breaking loose
Holy shit.
Reuters reporting that new admin instructions on visas are if you worked at a platform in trust & safety or content moderation or on fact checking or online safety at an platform you *and your loved ones* are ineligible for H-1B visa.
www.reuters.com/world/us/tru...
Reuters reporting that new admin instructions on visas are if you worked at a platform in trust & safety or content moderation or on fact checking or online safety at an platform you *and your loved ones* are ineligible for H-1B visa.
www.reuters.com/world/us/tru...
December 4, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Sincerest apologies to @safety.bsky.app for calling you fashy, I didn't realize you'd accidentally fed Stephen Miller after midnight and all hell was breaking loose
There's discussion about the overall dangers of wood smoke inhalation, but I still think pellet stoves are cool, and almost all modern pellet stoves have wireless smart controls now. It's not like you have to get up at 3 am and adjust the hopper.
Wood burning stoves in residential areas are horrible for health, but just try passing any bylaws about it in a small Canadian town and you'll quickly learn how whiny folks can be about clearly harmful practices.
it is MIRACULOUS that we got rid of lead paint and asbestos when we did. if we had tried that today, there would be people whining about how we're restricting their rights.
December 4, 2025 at 7:48 PM
There's discussion about the overall dangers of wood smoke inhalation, but I still think pellet stoves are cool, and almost all modern pellet stoves have wireless smart controls now. It's not like you have to get up at 3 am and adjust the hopper.
Reposted by Bea Kaye
I wrote a bit for McSweeney's about Isaac Chotiner interviewing Santa Claus. Just a little something for the holiday season. Enjoy!
The New Yorker’s Isaac Chotiner Interviews Santa Claus
For several centuries, Santa Claus has been one of the most prolific mythical gift-givers in the world. Formerly known as Saint Nicholas of Myra, a...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I wrote a bit for McSweeney's about Isaac Chotiner interviewing Santa Claus. Just a little something for the holiday season. Enjoy!
At this point Trump dozing off and farting in his sleep are the only normal things about him
Certainly, there are other parts of his behavior and general well-being that concern me more. He's 80 whatever years old. Of course he's taking naps at any given moment. My dad's a decade younger and will fall asleep if he's in the same chair for more than 20 minutes.
December 4, 2025 at 4:36 PM
At this point Trump dozing off and farting in his sleep are the only normal things about him
Reposted by Bea Kaye
Reposted by Bea Kaye
Butlerian Jihad, now more than ever.
"In a very short timeframe, AI has become the high-fructose corn syrup of the digital realm: It’s now in everything, even if you don’t want it there." www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
The time has come to declare war on AI
"It's now in everything, even if you don't want it there."
www.sfgate.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Butlerian Jihad, now more than ever.
There were people whining. In The Blues Brothers (1980) (Pope's favorite movie) they brag about how the Bluesmobile doesn't have a catalytic converter.
Also there are still people protesting seatbelts. They cut them out of their cars.
Also there are still people protesting seatbelts. They cut them out of their cars.
it is MIRACULOUS that we got rid of lead paint and asbestos when we did. if we had tried that today, there would be people whining about how we're restricting their rights.
Bring back residential-use lead paint, you cowards.
December 4, 2025 at 2:37 PM
There were people whining. In The Blues Brothers (1980) (Pope's favorite movie) they brag about how the Bluesmobile doesn't have a catalytic converter.
Also there are still people protesting seatbelts. They cut them out of their cars.
Also there are still people protesting seatbelts. They cut them out of their cars.
He read an open letter written by @lesbrary.bsky.social, that was sent to him by a friend who has a trans child, and thought "Why does that matter? Hope JKR is having a good day!"
Fucking Boomers, man. @clairewilliams.bsky.social
Fucking Boomers, man. @clairewilliams.bsky.social
John Lithgow on the Dumbledore backlash: ‘I wonder how JK Rowling copes’
The star is the target of hate campaigners after joining the new Harry Potter TV show — he’s no stranger to controversial children’s authors, playing Roald Dahl in Giant on stage
www.thetimes.com
December 4, 2025 at 1:24 AM
He read an open letter written by @lesbrary.bsky.social, that was sent to him by a friend who has a trans child, and thought "Why does that matter? Hope JKR is having a good day!"
Fucking Boomers, man. @clairewilliams.bsky.social
Fucking Boomers, man. @clairewilliams.bsky.social
In Soviet America, the oil lasts for 10 nights and we only drink Baja Blast
A quick tip: AI is notably bad at menorahs.
(Special mention for the blue glasses of Traditional Hanukkah Beverage)
(Special mention for the blue glasses of Traditional Hanukkah Beverage)
December 4, 2025 at 12:58 AM
In Soviet America, the oil lasts for 10 nights and we only drink Baja Blast
Sad:
This is what I do (minus the satire) and have done for nearly 30 years. Their six month fellowship is offering more than I make now or have ever made in a year.
I guess I should have switched to Fake News, it pays better.
This is what I do (minus the satire) and have done for nearly 30 years. Their six month fellowship is offering more than I make now or have ever made in a year.
I guess I should have switched to Fake News, it pays better.
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Fellowship
theonion.com
December 4, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Sad:
This is what I do (minus the satire) and have done for nearly 30 years. Their six month fellowship is offering more than I make now or have ever made in a year.
I guess I should have switched to Fake News, it pays better.
This is what I do (minus the satire) and have done for nearly 30 years. Their six month fellowship is offering more than I make now or have ever made in a year.
I guess I should have switched to Fake News, it pays better.
I bring you only the worthiest reels from the hellscape of MetaFace
December 3, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I bring you only the worthiest reels from the hellscape of MetaFace
Just watched a Facebook reel from a mom explaining how she calms her kids down during a storm...
when they're on their yacht...
...she writes her phone number on their arm in Sharpie
💕 Mom of the year 💕
when they're on their yacht...
...she writes her phone number on their arm in Sharpie
💕 Mom of the year 💕
December 3, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Just watched a Facebook reel from a mom explaining how she calms her kids down during a storm...
when they're on their yacht...
...she writes her phone number on their arm in Sharpie
💕 Mom of the year 💕
when they're on their yacht...
...she writes her phone number on their arm in Sharpie
💕 Mom of the year 💕