maybe *don't* assault your private chef
@billsallak.bsky.social
music prof, percussionist, audio engineer, music technologist, vcv addict, coffee dork, scotchologist, liverpool fc, generally has good ideas, sometimes not
Fast attack: email
Main attack: mic cable garotte
Heavy attack: GGGRRRAAANNNUUULLLAAARRR TTTIIIMMMEEESSSTTTRRREEETTTCCCHHH
Self-heal: Hario V60 pour-over (decaf if after 1pm)
Idle animation: removing reading glasses, squinting at something, putting reading glass on again
Main attack: mic cable garotte
Heavy attack: GGGRRRAAANNNUUULLLAAARRR TTTIIIMMMEEESSSTTTRRREEETTTCCCHHH
Self-heal: Hario V60 pour-over (decaf if after 1pm)
Idle animation: removing reading glasses, squinting at something, putting reading glass on again
Fast attack: make a weird little noise
Main attack: over-explain
Heavy attack: ART SONG BLAST
Self-heal: 2-4 little beverages appear in my vicinity
Idle animation: putting hands in pockets, looking briefly confused, pulling out whatever random shit I left in my pocket, shrugging, putting it back
Main attack: over-explain
Heavy attack: ART SONG BLAST
Self-heal: 2-4 little beverages appear in my vicinity
Idle animation: putting hands in pockets, looking briefly confused, pulling out whatever random shit I left in my pocket, shrugging, putting it back
okay, I need a reprieve. you are a videogame character, what are your verbs. mine:
fast attack: Post
main attack: Blood Reference
heavy attack: Whale Metaphor
self-heal: [hits my weed vape]
idle animation: [checks my nails, polishes my glasses] and, if you wait a while, hermes appears to bother you
fast attack: Post
main attack: Blood Reference
heavy attack: Whale Metaphor
self-heal: [hits my weed vape]
idle animation: [checks my nails, polishes my glasses] and, if you wait a while, hermes appears to bother you
January 10, 2026 at 1:58 AM
Fast attack: email
Main attack: mic cable garotte
Heavy attack: GGGRRRAAANNNUUULLLAAARRR TTTIIIMMMEEESSSTTTRRREEETTTCCCHHH
Self-heal: Hario V60 pour-over (decaf if after 1pm)
Idle animation: removing reading glasses, squinting at something, putting reading glass on again
Main attack: mic cable garotte
Heavy attack: GGGRRRAAANNNUUULLLAAARRR TTTIIIMMMEEESSSTTTRRREEETTTCCCHHH
Self-heal: Hario V60 pour-over (decaf if after 1pm)
Idle animation: removing reading glasses, squinting at something, putting reading glass on again
ever since i was a young boy
i saw the dankest memes
[windmill guitar strum]
i saw the dankest memes
[windmill guitar strum]
when i was
a young boy
my father
took me into the shitposts
to see the dankest memes
a young boy
my father
took me into the shitposts
to see the dankest memes
January 9, 2026 at 5:55 PM
ever since i was a young boy
i saw the dankest memes
[windmill guitar strum]
i saw the dankest memes
[windmill guitar strum]
<walter white yelling> i am the one who treads
ICE agent Jonathan Ross, who shot and killed an unarmed civilian, flew a don't-tread-on-me Gadsden flag at his house, per the Daily Mail.
January 9, 2026 at 5:51 PM
<walter white yelling> i am the one who treads
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
No I said don’t tread on *me*. You can get treaded on.
January 9, 2026 at 3:17 PM
No I said don’t tread on *me*. You can get treaded on.
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
"our job is to shoot you in the face if you fail to do as you're told; your job is to thank us for it" is quite the value proposition
January 8, 2026 at 9:31 PM
"our job is to shoot you in the face if you fail to do as you're told; your job is to thank us for it" is quite the value proposition
i plan to abide by the bluesky terms of service
January 7, 2026 at 8:56 PM
i plan to abide by the bluesky terms of service
As a former faculty Kent State faculty member, and as a human being in general, it really f***ing sucks to see that the regime is apparently going to do stochastic protestor shootings.
January 7, 2026 at 5:20 PM
As a former faculty Kent State faculty member, and as a human being in general, it really f***ing sucks to see that the regime is apparently going to do stochastic protestor shootings.
The Americans
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 7, 2026 at 2:29 AM
The Americans
biscuits and gravy is a canapé
suggestion: zero sides is irrelevant, but 1 side is a canapé
January 7, 2026 at 12:11 AM
biscuits and gravy is a canapé
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
kind of darkly funny that "gender studies" is the stereotypical "useless degree" because gender studies will help you understand a large and important chunk of the current psychosis in american life
January 6, 2026 at 2:00 AM
kind of darkly funny that "gender studies" is the stereotypical "useless degree" because gender studies will help you understand a large and important chunk of the current psychosis in american life
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
i would venture to say there is no meaningful organizing work that does not require patience and emotional regulation to do effectively
January 5, 2026 at 3:56 AM
i would venture to say there is no meaningful organizing work that does not require patience and emotional regulation to do effectively
Ruin 2 bands by combining them
Kajagoogoodolls
Kajagoogoodolls
My Bloody Diamond
Ruin 2 bands by combining them
Revolting Nine Inch Cocks
Revolting Nine Inch Cocks
January 4, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Ruin 2 bands by combining them
Kajagoogoodolls
Kajagoogoodolls
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
Seems like you mismanaged your little country here by failing to provide the required taste to myself and my business partners
January 3, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Seems like you mismanaged your little country here by failing to provide the required taste to myself and my business partners
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
This current protein craze is ridiculous. No, I don’t want protein in my coffee. Thank you.
January 2, 2026 at 10:12 PM
This current protein craze is ridiculous. No, I don’t want protein in my coffee. Thank you.
Terrible decision by CSU. Too many of these short-sighted corporate university admins think that everything is like a flower bed: rip it out one year, replant it the next, hard to tell the difference.
Institutions-within-institutions are not flowers; they're trees. It would be stupid for...(1/2)
Institutions-within-institutions are not flowers; they're trees. It would be stupid for...(1/2)
"There was no emergency or misconduct requiring an officer in a doorway. Just a deliberate administrative decision, filtered through the lens of a nonsensical perspective that burying a half-century of music and counterculture is somehow good for its students and the community it served."
The Rock and Roll Capital Killed Its College Radio Station for 24/7 Jazz and the Students Are Fighting Back
The white ON AIR light was still glowing when the cops walked in. A tiny bulb in a dirty old studio, shining on as if it had no idea its world was about to chan
www.spin.com
January 2, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Terrible decision by CSU. Too many of these short-sighted corporate university admins think that everything is like a flower bed: rip it out one year, replant it the next, hard to tell the difference.
Institutions-within-institutions are not flowers; they're trees. It would be stupid for...(1/2)
Institutions-within-institutions are not flowers; they're trees. It would be stupid for...(1/2)
for 2026 i've resolved to let eurorack obsession completely monopolize my personality
it's hard to describe on its own but i did learn that if you add an infinite number of them together, one at each integer multiple of the lowest frequency, you get an auld lang sawtooth
January 1, 2026 at 4:09 PM
for 2026 i've resolved to let eurorack obsession completely monopolize my personality
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
can we make resolutions for other people
January 1, 2026 at 3:23 PM
can we make resolutions for other people
Playing my voice memos back at 3x speed, just to squeal something
Painting the walls, just to teal something
Playing the glocken, just to spiel something
December 31, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Playing my voice memos back at 3x speed, just to squeal something
This thread is mainly about history in higher ed, but it contains big issues that a lot of university music departments should be opening to discussing.
But the field also just moved on from the kind of high-level intellectual history that he did. People wanted to ask different kinds of questions, study different things. That happens in every field. and it's normal that he was unhappy about it. It will happen to all of us eventually.
December 31, 2025 at 5:00 PM
This thread is mainly about history in higher ed, but it contains big issues that a lot of university music departments should be opening to discussing.
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
Here's screenshots of full statement to make it easier to read...
December 30, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Here's screenshots of full statement to make it easier to read...
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
Statement Re: OU Discrimination Investigation
Today, my client, Mel Curth, submitted her appeal of the University's Institutional Equity Office finding that she engaged in arbitrary and capricious grading of a student's assignment in violation of that student's religious liberty.
Today, my client, Mel Curth, submitted her appeal of the University's Institutional Equity Office finding that she engaged in arbitrary and capricious grading of a student's assignment in violation of that student's religious liberty.
December 30, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Statement Re: OU Discrimination Investigation
Today, my client, Mel Curth, submitted her appeal of the University's Institutional Equity Office finding that she engaged in arbitrary and capricious grading of a student's assignment in violation of that student's religious liberty.
Today, my client, Mel Curth, submitted her appeal of the University's Institutional Equity Office finding that she engaged in arbitrary and capricious grading of a student's assignment in violation of that student's religious liberty.
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
Ms. Curth fully denies that she engaged in any discriminatory behavior. It is her position that the investigation was flawed, failed to consider all possible motives and issues, and that new evidence has come to light that undermines the investigation's conclusion.
December 30, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Ms. Curth fully denies that she engaged in any discriminatory behavior. It is her position that the investigation was flawed, failed to consider all possible motives and issues, and that new evidence has come to light that undermines the investigation's conclusion.
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
In this case, the complaining student sent an email to OU to institute the complaint against Ms. Curth while cc'ing overtly political actors, such as disgraced former Oklahoma Superintendent Ryan Walters, who is known for his virulent anti-LGBTQ positions.
December 30, 2025 at 4:36 PM
In this case, the complaining student sent an email to OU to institute the complaint against Ms. Curth while cc'ing overtly political actors, such as disgraced former Oklahoma Superintendent Ryan Walters, who is known for his virulent anti-LGBTQ positions.
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
Despite this fact, investigators failed to examine whether the student may have had an ulterior motive in pursuing such a complaint.
December 30, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Despite this fact, investigators failed to examine whether the student may have had an ulterior motive in pursuing such a complaint.
Reposted by maybe *don't* assault your private chef
Furthermore, the University has continued to issue public statements regarding the investigation, despite confidentiality rules that kept Ms. Curth from being able to discuss any details of the situation, while the student was going on a circuit of local and national television interviews.
December 30, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Furthermore, the University has continued to issue public statements regarding the investigation, despite confidentiality rules that kept Ms. Curth from being able to discuss any details of the situation, while the student was going on a circuit of local and national television interviews.