Mr. Ben
@bennybucks.bsky.social
Co-host of the Nonessential Podcast!
https://thenonessential.libsyn.com/
1/2 of the electronic/downtempo chill duo CLaB!
https://allthatclab.bandcamp.com/music
Substack
https://bpmatlock.substack.com
Just a big butthole all around.
https://thenonessential.libsyn.com/
1/2 of the electronic/downtempo chill duo CLaB!
https://allthatclab.bandcamp.com/music
Substack
https://bpmatlock.substack.com
Just a big butthole all around.
Pinned
Mr. Ben
@bennybucks.bsky.social
· Aug 21
You know what the best part of my day is? It's those few moments when I'm sitting on the toilet, and i hit that courtesy flush. Because for that brief moment, i think there's a chance I'm gonna get sucked into my toilet. No "goodbye, see ya later." Just gone with my own shit.
Everybody has their, "who did they sexually assault?" jokes locked and loaded for the presidential turkey pardon.
One is sure to turn the tide.
One is sure to turn the tide.
November 25, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Everybody has their, "who did they sexually assault?" jokes locked and loaded for the presidential turkey pardon.
One is sure to turn the tide.
One is sure to turn the tide.
Reposted by Mr. Ben
BREAKING: Donald Trump is pressuring studios to fund and produce a sequel to Pootie Tang called “2tie Tang”
November 25, 2025 at 7:17 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is pressuring studios to fund and produce a sequel to Pootie Tang called “2tie Tang”
Finally, something for the people!
November 25, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Finally, something for the people!
I am absolutely full of kung fu.
*Explodes after getting hip tossed onto a soft mat*
*Explodes after getting hip tossed onto a soft mat*
November 25, 2025 at 5:33 AM
I am absolutely full of kung fu.
*Explodes after getting hip tossed onto a soft mat*
*Explodes after getting hip tossed onto a soft mat*
Nothing changes with this coaching staff until Lurie and Howie force the issue.
Nick will keep stepping on rakes until then.
Nick will keep stepping on rakes until then.
November 24, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Nothing changes with this coaching staff until Lurie and Howie force the issue.
Nick will keep stepping on rakes until then.
Nick will keep stepping on rakes until then.
Reposted by Mr. Ben
I just found this old picture of a poster that was on the wall at the school my friend taught at and there’s some incredible stuff in there
November 20, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I just found this old picture of a poster that was on the wall at the school my friend taught at and there’s some incredible stuff in there
I obviously don't really understand fashion...but I don't think celebrities and fashion people actually do either.
November 24, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I obviously don't really understand fashion...but I don't think celebrities and fashion people actually do either.
You ever see somebody wear clothes that look really uncomfortable and they fucking lie about it. They say, "no, I'm very comfortable."
You're wearing a sweater for a toddler and your pants have your balls in a triangle choke.
You're wearing a sweater for a toddler and your pants have your balls in a triangle choke.
November 24, 2025 at 6:35 PM
You ever see somebody wear clothes that look really uncomfortable and they fucking lie about it. They say, "no, I'm very comfortable."
You're wearing a sweater for a toddler and your pants have your balls in a triangle choke.
You're wearing a sweater for a toddler and your pants have your balls in a triangle choke.
A kid excitedly running down the stairs to the christmas tree, grabbing the first gift he sees.
"OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS ONE IS!"
And then he throws it into the wall as hard as he can.
"OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS ONE IS!"
And then he throws it into the wall as hard as he can.
November 24, 2025 at 2:58 PM
A kid excitedly running down the stairs to the christmas tree, grabbing the first gift he sees.
"OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS ONE IS!"
And then he throws it into the wall as hard as he can.
"OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS ONE IS!"
And then he throws it into the wall as hard as he can.
Asking AI to "find the good porn" with no further detail given.
November 24, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Asking AI to "find the good porn" with no further detail given.
For all their bright spots (mostly on defense), a loss like that really defines the Eagles this year. You just can't believe in this team in any matchup.
They're conservative offensively. They're soft. It's a fucking chore to watch every week.
Go birds.
They're conservative offensively. They're soft. It's a fucking chore to watch every week.
Go birds.
November 24, 2025 at 12:46 AM
For all their bright spots (mostly on defense), a loss like that really defines the Eagles this year. You just can't believe in this team in any matchup.
They're conservative offensively. They're soft. It's a fucking chore to watch every week.
Go birds.
They're conservative offensively. They're soft. It's a fucking chore to watch every week.
Go birds.
Barkley has not looked good since he started kicking it with Trump. The bad vibes really started there.
November 24, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Barkley has not looked good since he started kicking it with Trump. The bad vibes really started there.
21-0 and then they just completely stopped playing.
Now we're tied. Fucking cool.
Now we're tied. Fucking cool.
November 24, 2025 at 12:07 AM
21-0 and then they just completely stopped playing.
Now we're tied. Fucking cool.
Now we're tied. Fucking cool.
The Eagles are really just the most Jekyll and Hyde-ass team I've ever seen.
November 23, 2025 at 11:47 PM
The Eagles are really just the most Jekyll and Hyde-ass team I've ever seen.
Come see the one movie this summer that critics cannot agree on! They are all fucking bickering about it. One of them even pulled a knife!
November 23, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Come see the one movie this summer that critics cannot agree on! They are all fucking bickering about it. One of them even pulled a knife!
Doc, I didn't go against all of your advice to die.
I went against it to find out if I'm really alive.
I went against it to find out if I'm really alive.
November 22, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Doc, I didn't go against all of your advice to die.
I went against it to find out if I'm really alive.
I went against it to find out if I'm really alive.
If I unfollowed you, it's probably all on you, honestly. I was the perfect audience and you let me slip through your fingers.
November 22, 2025 at 7:12 PM
If I unfollowed you, it's probably all on you, honestly. I was the perfect audience and you let me slip through your fingers.
Well with the beef prices today, amirtitititahugbrgarrrhghghg
*Too topical, I drop dead on the spot*
*Too topical, I drop dead on the spot*
November 22, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Well with the beef prices today, amirtitititahugbrgarrrhghghg
*Too topical, I drop dead on the spot*
*Too topical, I drop dead on the spot*
The system is literally just the states sending a bunch of fucking idiots to get together in a big dumb room and vote on stupid, performative bullshit a couple times a month. Thank god for these leaders.
November 21, 2025 at 6:30 PM
The system is literally just the states sending a bunch of fucking idiots to get together in a big dumb room and vote on stupid, performative bullshit a couple times a month. Thank god for these leaders.
Why do we even have a federal government again?
BREAKING: The House of Representatives voted 285–98 in favor of a resolution condemning socialism.
Eighty-six Democrats joined Republicans in supporting the measure, including House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.
Eighty-six Democrats joined Republicans in supporting the measure, including House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.
November 21, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Why do we even have a federal government again?
Reposted by Mr. Ben
I'm Larry the Cable Guy and welcome to Jackass!
*The camera zooms out from his stoic expression. For some reason, he's all wet. And then we realize why when he lights the match*
*The camera zooms out from his stoic expression. For some reason, he's all wet. And then we realize why when he lights the match*
November 21, 2025 at 4:16 AM
I'm Larry the Cable Guy and welcome to Jackass!
*The camera zooms out from his stoic expression. For some reason, he's all wet. And then we realize why when he lights the match*
*The camera zooms out from his stoic expression. For some reason, he's all wet. And then we realize why when he lights the match*
Reposted by Mr. Ben
The dumbest people alive keep advising the Democratic party to throw trans people under the bus whenever possible when all they need to do to glide back to power is go "a McChicken at McDonald's is 4 bucks now, wtf."
November 20, 2025 at 5:28 PM
The dumbest people alive keep advising the Democratic party to throw trans people under the bus whenever possible when all they need to do to glide back to power is go "a McChicken at McDonald's is 4 bucks now, wtf."
Reposted by Mr. Ben
I'm Larry the Cable Guy and welcome to Jackass!
*unzips pants and pulls out a disfigured penis covered in festering insect bites before the feed cuts to a test pattern*
*unzips pants and pulls out a disfigured penis covered in festering insect bites before the feed cuts to a test pattern*
November 19, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I'm Larry the Cable Guy and welcome to Jackass!
*unzips pants and pulls out a disfigured penis covered in festering insect bites before the feed cuts to a test pattern*
*unzips pants and pulls out a disfigured penis covered in festering insect bites before the feed cuts to a test pattern*