Brooke
@babblinbrooke.bsky.social
Staffed comedy writer, home owner in Los Angeles and total liar.
I want a man as reliable as Disney Parks’ annual price increases.
October 27, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I want a man as reliable as Disney Parks’ annual price increases.
I’m running out of scrabble tiles and things are looking pretty grum
September 17, 2025 at 5:09 AM
I’m running out of scrabble tiles and things are looking pretty grum
Oh, you’re a spiritual medium? Well I’m a secular 2XL.
September 17, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Oh, you’re a spiritual medium? Well I’m a secular 2XL.
The medical scheduler just asked me if my physical therapy for cervical disc herniation was for my neck or my “other” cervix, so I would say healthcare in the US is on par with everything else here.
August 25, 2025 at 11:03 PM
The medical scheduler just asked me if my physical therapy for cervical disc herniation was for my neck or my “other” cervix, so I would say healthcare in the US is on par with everything else here.
The emperor’s new clothes are 20/30 mmHg compression socks.
July 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
The emperor’s new clothes are 20/30 mmHg compression socks.
Reposted by Brooke
A conservative horror film where a patient escapes from a hospital and goes to a nearby town, but instead of murder he just makes people woke
July 11, 2025 at 5:11 PM
A conservative horror film where a patient escapes from a hospital and goes to a nearby town, but instead of murder he just makes people woke
Happy rotten jacaranda blossom season to all who celebrate.
July 12, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Happy rotten jacaranda blossom season to all who celebrate.
Don’t forget to leave out cookies and milk for Obama tonight.
July 4, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Don’t forget to leave out cookies and milk for Obama tonight.
You tell the waiter you’ll have what I’m having, but it’s an existential crisis.
July 3, 2025 at 2:03 AM
You tell the waiter you’ll have what I’m having, but it’s an existential crisis.
I’m a bombshell in the way that I’m shaped like a grenade.
July 3, 2025 at 12:53 AM
I’m a bombshell in the way that I’m shaped like a grenade.
He may have been sleepy, but at least we were able to sleep.
May 23, 2025 at 6:39 PM
He may have been sleepy, but at least we were able to sleep.
Does low hanging fruit count toward my ten servings a day?
May 15, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Does low hanging fruit count toward my ten servings a day?
Would a mistake on a breast exam be considered a mammogrammatical error?
April 26, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Would a mistake on a breast exam be considered a mammogrammatical error?
I put the mid in mid forties.
April 23, 2025 at 7:37 AM
I put the mid in mid forties.
You’re excited to show him your new bikini, I’m excited to show him my new CPAP mask. We are not the same.
April 16, 2025 at 1:23 AM
You’re excited to show him your new bikini, I’m excited to show him my new CPAP mask. We are not the same.
Reposted by Brooke
Me: The jorts stay ON during sex
Her: Do you even know what sex is
Me: I do not
Her: Do you even know what sex is
Me: I do not
April 12, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Me: The jorts stay ON during sex
Her: Do you even know what sex is
Me: I do not
Her: Do you even know what sex is
Me: I do not
Performing Gotye at karaoke, but only so I can correct it to “Somebody WHO I Used to Know”.
April 12, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Performing Gotye at karaoke, but only so I can correct it to “Somebody WHO I Used to Know”.
Mixed martial arts implies the existence of mixed martial crafts.
April 10, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Mixed martial arts implies the existence of mixed martial crafts.
Some people learn through trial and error. Me? Error and error. And error. And error.
April 9, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Some people learn through trial and error. Me? Error and error. And error. And error.
Reposted by Brooke
Nicely done @keating.house.gov @billkeating.bsky.social in the Europe Subcommittee of the Committee on Foreign Affairs today.
The chairman was out of line. Shame on keith self.
www.instagram.com/reel/DHE3VgZ...
#USpol
The chairman was out of line. Shame on keith self.
www.instagram.com/reel/DHE3VgZ...
#USpol
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March 12, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Nicely done @keating.house.gov @billkeating.bsky.social in the Europe Subcommittee of the Committee on Foreign Affairs today.
The chairman was out of line. Shame on keith self.
www.instagram.com/reel/DHE3VgZ...
#USpol
The chairman was out of line. Shame on keith self.
www.instagram.com/reel/DHE3VgZ...
#USpol
Hey dudes. Here’s proof I can dance a little bit. Can you go vote for me to be Ciara’s next dance icon? It comes with a spot in one of her videos and a $20k prize which would help a *lot* right now. Thanks! It’s free to vote.
danceicon.org/2025/brooke-...
danceicon.org/2025/brooke-...
March 12, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Hey dudes. Here’s proof I can dance a little bit. Can you go vote for me to be Ciara’s next dance icon? It comes with a spot in one of her videos and a $20k prize which would help a *lot* right now. Thanks! It’s free to vote.
danceicon.org/2025/brooke-...
danceicon.org/2025/brooke-...
I bought the Hailey Bieber Skin Smoothie at Erewhon today, and I’ll be honest. I don’t think it had ANY of her skin in it.
February 11, 2025 at 5:40 AM
I bought the Hailey Bieber Skin Smoothie at Erewhon today, and I’ll be honest. I don’t think it had ANY of her skin in it.
Upside, we are no longer living in unprecedented times. Downside, the precedent is the 1940s.
January 23, 2025 at 6:10 AM
Upside, we are no longer living in unprecedented times. Downside, the precedent is the 1940s.
There but by the dumb of luck go I.
January 13, 2025 at 3:06 PM
There but by the dumb of luck go I.