Archie Valparaiso
@archiev.bsky.social
Gracelessly aging* writer, copy editor and translator. Curator of #SaveOurSubs. Based on the Continong.
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* No "e" after the "g", eh. Glad we've got that cleared up.
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* No "e" after the "g", eh. Glad we've got that cleared up.
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
If "blackguard" is pronounced "blaggard", why doesn't a guitar have a piggard? #RiddleMeThis
November 9, 2025 at 9:47 AM
If "blackguard" is pronounced "blaggard", why doesn't a guitar have a piggard? #RiddleMeThis
If "blackguard" is pronounced "blaggard", why doesn't a guitar have a piggard? #RiddleMeThis
November 9, 2025 at 9:47 AM
If "blackguard" is pronounced "blaggard", why doesn't a guitar have a piggard? #RiddleMeThis
That NYC and London both have Muslim mayors isn't really the story. That NYC and London both have mayors who are men, yet again and as always, that's the story. The under-representation of women in top jobs is something we take for granted so much it's a scandal not even worth mentioning, it seems.
November 5, 2025 at 10:11 AM
That NYC and London both have Muslim mayors isn't really the story. That NYC and London both have mayors who are men, yet again and as always, that's the story. The under-representation of women in top jobs is something we take for granted so much it's a scandal not even worth mentioning, it seems.
Impressive but not a uniquely British phenomenon. South Madrid Airport went bust only three years after it was built. It's been used ever since to store rusting aircraft being sold off for scrap. The vast infrastructure's failure may have something to do with its location: 125 miles south of Madrid.
My latest: Move over bat tunnel, here’s the wild story of how HS2 were forced to build a multi-million pound bridge for a road that… doesn’t actually exist.
How HS2 built a bridge to nowhere
A state-of-the-art road bridge has been built deep in the heart of rural Buckinghamshire. Designed to carry traffic over the HS2 railway, there's just one tiny problem - there's no actual road.
martinrobbins.substack.com
November 3, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Impressive but not a uniquely British phenomenon. South Madrid Airport went bust only three years after it was built. It's been used ever since to store rusting aircraft being sold off for scrap. The vast infrastructure's failure may have something to do with its location: 125 miles south of Madrid.
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
That's a long time to spend in Cardiff isn't it
October 31, 2025 at 9:31 PM
That's a long time to spend in Cardiff isn't it
"Please do not say 'anymore' any more" -Guardian Style Guide
#SaveOurSubs
#SaveOurSubs
‘I can’t go on anymore’: Mazón resigns as Valencia leader and acknowledges mistakes during deadly 2024 floods – Europe live
‘I can’t go on anymore’: Mazón resigns as Valencia leader and acknowledges mistakes during deadly 2024 floods – Europe live
Mazón faced daily calls for his resignation after flooding in October 2024 killed 229 people
For more on the anger towards Mazón and the calls for consequences after Spain’s worst natural disaster this century, it’s worth reading this report from our Spain correspondent, Sam Jones.
Resigning his post, Mazón said “I can’t go on anymore” as he lamented “brutal” criticism he faced, while “acknowledging” mistakes made in an “unprecedented” situation. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
November 3, 2025 at 11:56 AM
"Please do not say 'anymore' any more" -Guardian Style Guide
#SaveOurSubs
#SaveOurSubs
Yes. See also the "I"-less "love you". Is that an order? Is it compulsory?
I like to sign off emails with “All best”, conveying the twin ideas that I wish the recipient all the best but I am too busy to type “the”.
November 2, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Yes. See also the "I"-less "love you". Is that an order? Is it compulsory?
There's a vast grey area of what places and things are the Windsors' actual property - i.e., what they'd get to keep if we turfed them out - and those they have exclusive, indefinite usufruct of, but only for as long as they are the royal house. I suspect not even they know for sure.
Aside from just having money and owning the Duchy of Lancaster, it seems plausible that having global top level access might conceivably afford one an opportunity for profit.
"Who are you, and why are you so rich?"
"I'm the King, and I'm the King."
"I'm the King, and I'm the King."
November 1, 2025 at 12:25 PM
There's a vast grey area of what places and things are the Windsors' actual property - i.e., what they'd get to keep if we turfed them out - and those they have exclusive, indefinite usufruct of, but only for as long as they are the royal house. I suspect not even they know for sure.
"Their Majesties wish to make clear that their thoughts and utmost sympathies have been, and will remain with, the victims and survivors of any and all forms of abuse."
This is an absolute disgrace. That second comma should go after "remain", not "with". #SaveOurSubs
This is an absolute disgrace. That second comma should go after "remain", not "with". #SaveOurSubs
October 30, 2025 at 10:49 PM
"Their Majesties wish to make clear that their thoughts and utmost sympathies have been, and will remain with, the victims and survivors of any and all forms of abuse."
This is an absolute disgrace. That second comma should go after "remain", not "with". #SaveOurSubs
This is an absolute disgrace. That second comma should go after "remain", not "with". #SaveOurSubs
The latest additions to my mute list are "Cuomo" and "Mamdani" (and I'm someone who doesn't even mute "GBBO" or "TOTP"). Enough.
October 29, 2025 at 1:23 PM
The latest additions to my mute list are "Cuomo" and "Mamdani" (and I'm someone who doesn't even mute "GBBO" or "TOTP"). Enough.
I must admit I'm finding it hard to keep up with all the twists and turns of the New York mayoral election. Mind you, I'm still struggling to process the Beame-Koch handover. Aren't we all?
October 29, 2025 at 12:57 PM
I must admit I'm finding it hard to keep up with all the twists and turns of the New York mayoral election. Mind you, I'm still struggling to process the Beame-Koch handover. Aren't we all?
Has he ever accused anyone of being "low IQ" who wasn't black or Hispanic? #RhetoricalQuestion
Trump: "They have Jasmine Crockett -- a low IQ person. AOC is low IQ. Have her pass the exams I decided to take when I was at Walter Reed. They're cognitive tests. Let AOC go against Trump. Let Jasmine go against Trump. The first couple questions are easy -- a tiger, an elephant, a giraffe ... "
October 27, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Has he ever accused anyone of being "low IQ" who wasn't black or Hispanic? #RhetoricalQuestion
My old school now has a "head of futures" who specialises in "upskilling" Fothering-Thomas Minor with strategies for addressing the further-education challenges to come. In my day we had a woodwork master who'd rap your knuckles with a set square if you ballsed up your spice rack. #CountrysGone
October 27, 2025 at 12:48 PM
My old school now has a "head of futures" who specialises in "upskilling" Fothering-Thomas Minor with strategies for addressing the further-education challenges to come. In my day we had a woodwork master who'd rap your knuckles with a set square if you ballsed up your spice rack. #CountrysGone
Why abolish the House of Lords when we could demolish it and build a beautiful grand ballroom?
October 23, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Why abolish the House of Lords when we could demolish it and build a beautiful grand ballroom?
The Nonce, and Future King.
October 22, 2025 at 9:42 AM
The Nonce, and Future King.
Ah. yes, of course. Balimmoral.
King Charles may be planning to send Prince Andrew to a castle in the Scottish Highlands, according to reports 👀
Prince Andrew faces exile to Highland town amid pressure to give up mansion
www.thenational.scot
October 22, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Ah. yes, of course. Balimmoral.
Haaland is a bit absolutely terrifying, isn't he.
October 21, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Haaland is a bit absolutely terrifying, isn't he.
I have two firmly held beliefs about refereeing.
1. A foul is a foul wherever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a penalty.
2. A yellow-card foul is a yellow-card foul whenever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a sending-off.
1. A foul is a foul wherever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a penalty.
2. A yellow-card foul is a yellow-card foul whenever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a sending-off.
October 21, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I have two firmly held beliefs about refereeing.
1. A foul is a foul wherever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a penalty.
2. A yellow-card foul is a yellow-card foul whenever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a sending-off.
1. A foul is a foul wherever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a penalty.
2. A yellow-card foul is a yellow-card foul whenever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a sending-off.
Contrary to popular belief because of the battle, Cape Trafalgar isn't wild and rocky at all. It barely even qualifies as a cape; it's just a little promontory with golden beaches on either side of it and gently rolling lowlands behind it. It's usually warm and sunny in October (22ºC right now).
October 21, 2025 at 9:03 AM
Contrary to popular belief because of the battle, Cape Trafalgar isn't wild and rocky at all. It barely even qualifies as a cape; it's just a little promontory with golden beaches on either side of it and gently rolling lowlands behind it. It's usually warm and sunny in October (22ºC right now).
I'm struggling to come to terms with my concurrent firmly held views that, on the one hand, sumo wrestling at the Albert Hall is something there should definitely be more of while, on the other, Barcelona playing a league game in Miami is the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it.
October 19, 2025 at 11:15 AM
I'm struggling to come to terms with my concurrent firmly held views that, on the one hand, sumo wrestling at the Albert Hall is something there should definitely be more of while, on the other, Barcelona playing a league game in Miami is the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it.
If anyone claims Pynchon's novels bear no relation to real life, point to any of these actual things:
Four Seasons Total Landscaping fiasco
Rudy's rivulets of hair dye
South Lawn turned into a Tesla showroom
Weirdass names (Elon Musk, Melania Trump)
Weirdass acronyms (MAGA, ICE)
AI shit-bomb slop
Four Seasons Total Landscaping fiasco
Rudy's rivulets of hair dye
South Lawn turned into a Tesla showroom
Weirdass names (Elon Musk, Melania Trump)
Weirdass acronyms (MAGA, ICE)
AI shit-bomb slop
October 19, 2025 at 9:48 AM
If anyone claims Pynchon's novels bear no relation to real life, point to any of these actual things:
Four Seasons Total Landscaping fiasco
Rudy's rivulets of hair dye
South Lawn turned into a Tesla showroom
Weirdass names (Elon Musk, Melania Trump)
Weirdass acronyms (MAGA, ICE)
AI shit-bomb slop
Four Seasons Total Landscaping fiasco
Rudy's rivulets of hair dye
South Lawn turned into a Tesla showroom
Weirdass names (Elon Musk, Melania Trump)
Weirdass acronyms (MAGA, ICE)
AI shit-bomb slop
So Disney+ is going up to €16 a month - a 14% hike when inflation here is under 3%? That'll be a fuck right off. Cancelled.
October 17, 2025 at 8:26 PM
So Disney+ is going up to €16 a month - a 14% hike when inflation here is under 3%? That'll be a fuck right off. Cancelled.
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
Window that opens onto my fire escape is broken, can't be opened easily. My landlord told me his guy is on vacation; he'll fix it in two weeks.
Me: Let's hope I don't die in a fire before then. Bad for both of us.
Him: Ah, don't worry about it. No way I'm going to have two buildings burn down.
Me: Let's hope I don't die in a fire before then. Bad for both of us.
Him: Ah, don't worry about it. No way I'm going to have two buildings burn down.
October 16, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Window that opens onto my fire escape is broken, can't be opened easily. My landlord told me his guy is on vacation; he'll fix it in two weeks.
Me: Let's hope I don't die in a fire before then. Bad for both of us.
Him: Ah, don't worry about it. No way I'm going to have two buildings burn down.
Me: Let's hope I don't die in a fire before then. Bad for both of us.
Him: Ah, don't worry about it. No way I'm going to have two buildings burn down.
Ob-Ese-Di, Ob-Ese-Da
Flabby Road
etc., etc.
Flabby Road
etc., etc.
October 16, 2025 at 10:31 AM
Ob-Ese-Di, Ob-Ese-Da
Flabby Road
etc., etc.
Flabby Road
etc., etc.
Mick Herron has irreversibly jumped the shark with Clown Town. Discuss (without any big spoilers if poss., for anyone yet to read it).
October 15, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Mick Herron has irreversibly jumped the shark with Clown Town. Discuss (without any big spoilers if poss., for anyone yet to read it).