Archie Valparaiso
archiev.bsky.social
Archie Valparaiso
@archiev.bsky.social
Gracelessly aging* writer, copy editor and translator. Curator of #SaveOurSubs. Based on the Continong.
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* No "e" after the "g", eh. Glad we've got that cleared up.
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
I know a great El Greco joke, but you may find it a bit too long.
January 3, 2026 at 1:40 PM
Hugo is the secret love child of David Cameron and Piers Morgan. HE DAY-UD. #TheTraitors
January 1, 2026 at 8:47 PM
Where Cuddly Alan Carr? Where's hoozit her from Hull? Where's that history bloke? WTF is going on? #TheTraitors
January 1, 2026 at 8:32 PM
Oh, go on, then. If only to have a timeline here that makes any sense for the rest of the evening, I'll join yiz and watch them The Traitors.
January 1, 2026 at 7:41 PM
I've just seen the latest trailer for The Odyssey, Christopher Nolan's upcoming film version of Homer's classic. I was particularly struck by the cinematography. For reasons not explained, it looks as though he's set it not in the Mediterranean but in the Baltic.
December 26, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Last night my totally irrational but decades-long aversion to Leonardo Di Caprio was finally cured. He didn't spoil for me but even elevated what, right at the death, has become my favourite film of the year: One Battle After Another. Just so well done and enjoyable in every department.
December 26, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Roses are red
A thief is a filcher
December 22, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
December 20, 2025 at 12:07 AM
In those emails headed "Our Holiday Gift to You!", is the gift ever anything other than a piddling 10-15% discount on something you'd never dream of buying anyway? #RhetoricalQuestions
December 18, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I think I've just triggered its "Daisy Daisy" moment.
My prompt (via @ryanshirlow.bsky.social : "Create an infographic of the most popular British Leyland vehicles".
Gemini:
December 17, 2025 at 9:44 PM
If anyone else wants to play, just go to gemini.google.com, click on "Image", and use the prompt: "Create an infographic of [something you know a tiny bit about]"
‎Google Gemini
Meet Gemini, Google’s AI assistant. Get help with writing, planning, brainstorming, and more. Experience the power of generative AI.
gemini.google.com
December 17, 2025 at 9:07 PM
In case football isn't Gemini's forte, I asked it to show me the key Romantic composers. Liszt was a sprightly 775 years old when he died. Puccini lived backwards, dying 334 years before he was born. Verdi and Brahms were Russian.
December 17, 2025 at 9:04 PM
These, according to Gemini, are the wearers of Manchester United's legendary number 7 shirt:
December 17, 2025 at 8:46 PM
We're reaching the point, if we haven't reached it already, where DNA is the only evidence we can take on trust as being real. The reliability of phone, CCTV, dashcam and bodycam footage has become so compromised that any posted to social media should be assumed by default to have been faked.
An image of a man being made-up with fake blood has been shared with claims it shows a ‘crisis actor’ at the Bondi Beach shooting.

But this picture is AI and not real. Arsen Ostrovsky was treated in hospital for his genuine injuries from the attack.
Fake AI image of Bondi Beach victim having blood applied circulates online – Full Fact
The AI generated picture has been circulating widely on social media alongside completely false claims the man pictured was a ‘crisis actor’ and never really injured.
fullfact.org
December 17, 2025 at 8:33 PM
THE ESSENCE, the new novel by @hutchinsondave.bsky.social, is utterly and absolutely excellent. A tungsten-strong recommend. #InDepthReviews
December 16, 2025 at 8:26 PM
WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE?
December 14, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
I GOT BAD FOOT.
December 14, 2025 at 6:39 PM
@hutchinsondave.bsky.social I see the lawfare, probably inevitably, has already begun:
December 12, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Roses are red
A tenant's a renter...
December 11, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
Getting a burner phone so you can get into Disneyworld.
December 10, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
When my kids test my patience in the run-up to Christmas, it's very cathartic to pop this on once a day. It's my dad-vent colander.
December 9, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Roses are red;
A voyeur's a peeper...
December 9, 2025 at 3:35 PM
December 9, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Reposted by Archie Valparaiso
Marvelling at the range of involuntary noises “one” finds “oneself” emitting in middle age:

*Standing up - dying manatee winched from mineshaft
*Sitting down - air escaping from punctured pouffe
*Bending over - concussed bison wrestled into sack
*Sneezing - final roar of once-proud warrior race
December 6, 2025 at 11:09 PM