Amelie Calamity
@ameliecalamity.bsky.social
Middle aged peri-menopausal woman who loves pop music, Liverpool FC, reading, my spaniel and #TheArchers
You know when a storyline is terrible when Plop becomes the voice of reason: get a life Ruth and leave Leonard alone
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
November 14, 2025 at 3:51 PM
You know when a storyline is terrible when Plop becomes the voice of reason: get a life Ruth and leave Leonard alone
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
Reposted by Amelie Calamity
In these challenging times someone might need one of them:
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
September 16, 2025 at 5:19 PM
In these challenging times someone might need one of them:
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
Pip, I have a solution. Stella will leave you and live happily with her lovely dog
#TheArcherd
#TheArcherd
September 11, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Pip, I have a solution. Stella will leave you and live happily with her lovely dog
#TheArcherd
#TheArcherd
How far were Brad and Amber walking? One minute he’s walking her back from the cricket and the next he’s starting at the moon
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
September 8, 2025 at 12:23 PM
How far were Brad and Amber walking? One minute he’s walking her back from the cricket and the next he’s starting at the moon
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
This may be the most British post ever, but I am starting a jigsaw. It is from the USA and I am trying to find the edges to set the border. Why do Americans have to do things in such a weird way? Standard jigsaw pieces are perfectly acceptable and don’t need chopping into bizarre geometric shapes
September 7, 2025 at 12:34 PM
This may be the most British post ever, but I am starting a jigsaw. It is from the USA and I am trying to find the edges to set the border. Why do Americans have to do things in such a weird way? Standard jigsaw pieces are perfectly acceptable and don’t need chopping into bizarre geometric shapes
Zainab, you threw the contents of a glass of orange in his face. You didn’t smash the glass against the table and stick it in his throat. Calm down.
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
September 5, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Zainab, you threw the contents of a glass of orange in his face. You didn’t smash the glass against the table and stick it in his throat. Calm down.
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
Reposted by Amelie Calamity
Danish activists have been painting their flag on roundabouts. Either that or British 'patriots' are a bunch of thick twats, which I find hard to believe.
August 23, 2025 at 7:35 AM
Danish activists have been painting their flag on roundabouts. Either that or British 'patriots' are a bunch of thick twats, which I find hard to believe.
Is this the way that Carpet exits? Fallon has an affair with Chris?
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
August 22, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Is this the way that Carpet exits? Fallon has an affair with Chris?
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
No Ed, Fallon isn’t all right. She doesn’t really fancy a swim after being submerged underwater for an agonising period of time
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
August 19, 2025 at 7:06 PM
No Ed, Fallon isn’t all right. She doesn’t really fancy a swim after being submerged underwater for an agonising period of time
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
I’m not sure why, but I imagined Martyn Gibson to be of slender build, rather than needing a ‘generous’ cut for his golf shirts
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
August 19, 2025 at 7:05 PM
I’m not sure why, but I imagined Martyn Gibson to be of slender build, rather than needing a ‘generous’ cut for his golf shirts
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
I feel the need to share this:
Today I went to the Doctors and was prescribed HRT.
The events that led up to it are not so good and included me telling a women in a car park to ‘go and fuck herself’ in front of her child and elderly mother.
However, I am now hopeful that the rage will subdue
#HRT
Today I went to the Doctors and was prescribed HRT.
The events that led up to it are not so good and included me telling a women in a car park to ‘go and fuck herself’ in front of her child and elderly mother.
However, I am now hopeful that the rage will subdue
#HRT
August 15, 2025 at 9:49 PM
I feel the need to share this:
Today I went to the Doctors and was prescribed HRT.
The events that led up to it are not so good and included me telling a women in a car park to ‘go and fuck herself’ in front of her child and elderly mother.
However, I am now hopeful that the rage will subdue
#HRT
Today I went to the Doctors and was prescribed HRT.
The events that led up to it are not so good and included me telling a women in a car park to ‘go and fuck herself’ in front of her child and elderly mother.
However, I am now hopeful that the rage will subdue
#HRT
So, thanks to Trump banging on about how unfair it was that medicine is cheaper in other countries, the cost of my Mounjaro is increasing next month by 170%
I already pay £140 a month so that would take it to a completely unaffordable level.
#Mounjaro
I already pay £140 a month so that would take it to a completely unaffordable level.
#Mounjaro
August 15, 2025 at 5:38 AM
So, thanks to Trump banging on about how unfair it was that medicine is cheaper in other countries, the cost of my Mounjaro is increasing next month by 170%
I already pay £140 a month so that would take it to a completely unaffordable level.
#Mounjaro
I already pay £140 a month so that would take it to a completely unaffordable level.
#Mounjaro
And another thing, how can the shop not afford to pay a fee at the church? They are all volunteers. That’s 75k a year saved in wages, so how are they making such little money?
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
August 14, 2025 at 9:18 PM
And another thing, how can the shop not afford to pay a fee at the church? They are all volunteers. That’s 75k a year saved in wages, so how are they making such little money?
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
I’m not an expert in the world of commercial insurance but surely the shop has business interruption insurance that will help cover any costs included in having to relocate the business temporarily.
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
August 14, 2025 at 9:16 PM
I’m not an expert in the world of commercial insurance but surely the shop has business interruption insurance that will help cover any costs included in having to relocate the business temporarily.
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
Reposted by Amelie Calamity
Tonight on #TheArchers - Brian makes a shocking discovery.
August 8, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Tonight on #TheArchers - Brian makes a shocking discovery.
Reposted by Amelie Calamity
If Alice takes over at Home Farm it will be a huge slap in the face to Lilian who fought tooth and nail with Justin to keep her job open and take her back at the stables.
Also, how long has Stella worked there? Can she take him to a tribunal. I certainly would.
#TheArchers
Also, how long has Stella worked there? Can she take him to a tribunal. I certainly would.
#TheArchers
August 9, 2025 at 11:18 AM
If Alice takes over at Home Farm it will be a huge slap in the face to Lilian who fought tooth and nail with Justin to keep her job open and take her back at the stables.
Also, how long has Stella worked there? Can she take him to a tribunal. I certainly would.
#TheArchers
Also, how long has Stella worked there? Can she take him to a tribunal. I certainly would.
#TheArchers
Sometimes Soosan’s wittering really gets on my nerves
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
August 7, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Sometimes Soosan’s wittering really gets on my nerves
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
After listening to the last couple of episodes of #TheArchers please can we have an entire episode of just Jakob in the queue at the Village shop / hall
August 6, 2025 at 6:52 AM
After listening to the last couple of episodes of #TheArchers please can we have an entire episode of just Jakob in the queue at the Village shop / hall
Because all the senior managers have decided to go on holiday on the same week, me and my manager have just had to take it in turns to do a 12 hour shift each so the other can have a day off this week. I am absolutely knackered and a little bit cross about the whole thing if I’m being honest
July 30, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Because all the senior managers have decided to go on holiday on the same week, me and my manager have just had to take it in turns to do a 12 hour shift each so the other can have a day off this week. I am absolutely knackered and a little bit cross about the whole thing if I’m being honest
Went to the pub today with the dog and he managed to settle in and make himself at home right away.
July 29, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Went to the pub today with the dog and he managed to settle in and make himself at home right away.
Reposted by Amelie Calamity
Hacked the Ambridge servers to get that licence plate. #TheArchers
July 29, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Hacked the Ambridge servers to get that licence plate. #TheArchers
I was a Samaritan and I recommend reading this
#Samaritans
#Samaritans
I was a Samaritan – I love Samaritans. But for the sake of all who take those calls, it must change course | Peter Ormerod www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
I was a Samaritan – I love Samaritans. But for the sake of all who take those calls, it must change course | Peter Ormerod
Branches to close, volunteers in ‘regional hubs’, some working from home. It will be bad for them and for the desperate people seeking help, says journalist Peter Ormerod
www.theguardian.com
July 29, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I was a Samaritan and I recommend reading this
#Samaritans
#Samaritans
Reposted by Amelie Calamity
"My dog's learning to speak a foreign language."
"Español?"
"No, he's a labrador."
"Español?"
"No, he's a labrador."
July 29, 2025 at 9:59 AM
"My dog's learning to speak a foreign language."
"Español?"
"No, he's a labrador."
"Español?"
"No, he's a labrador."