a one-man murdertwunk
@adspexi.bsky.social
gabe • 21+ • he/him • still depressed but v stressed
still doing better than airplane
February 4, 2026 at 2:40 PM
still doing better than airplane
gun might have otherwise gone his whole life without knowing about funishment spankings and what kind of a life to lead is that
February 4, 2026 at 2:33 AM
gun might have otherwise gone his whole life without knowing about funishment spankings and what kind of a life to lead is that
tinn did not ask to be inducted into Baby-Top Boot Camp but it is happening regardless. it'll be good for him. probably
February 4, 2026 at 2:31 AM
tinn did not ask to be inducted into Baby-Top Boot Camp but it is happening regardless. it'll be good for him. probably
are you about to be sucked into a dusty tome on a back shelf full of fairy tales and talking animals
February 4, 2026 at 1:32 AM
are you about to be sucked into a dusty tome on a back shelf full of fairy tales and talking animals
also. whisper. perhaps cherry magic. achi got married like five seconds after he found out he was gay, he deserves to suck on some titties on a relaxing country vacation
February 3, 2026 at 6:55 PM
also. whisper. perhaps cherry magic. achi got married like five seconds after he found out he was gay, he deserves to suck on some titties on a relaxing country vacation
of course my first thought was akk/ayan but there are so many boys who could use a little discipline. so many colleges that could have done an ecological trip outing up north,
February 3, 2026 at 7:01 AM
of course my first thought was akk/ayan but there are so many boys who could use a little discipline. so many colleges that could have done an ecological trip outing up north,
the thing about thousand buddies is phupha and tian should absolutely be one of those couples who just.... periodically Host other couples. show them around town. have some very friendly conversations. introduce the younger guys to the daddy experience
February 3, 2026 at 6:57 AM
the thing about thousand buddies is phupha and tian should absolutely be one of those couples who just.... periodically Host other couples. show them around town. have some very friendly conversations. introduce the younger guys to the daddy experience
also my uncles keep their hair for too long to pass for english aristos. it's like buckingham palace contractually mandates them to have to have the world's ugliest combover by 38
February 3, 2026 at 6:42 AM
also my uncles keep their hair for too long to pass for english aristos. it's like buckingham palace contractually mandates them to have to have the world's ugliest combover by 38
oh fuck yeah. the specific satisfying smack of one of those things dropping on a desk
February 3, 2026 at 6:34 AM
oh fuck yeah. the specific satisfying smack of one of those things dropping on a desk
my chattiest uncle would always say there was a royal bastard shipped abroad to avoid disgracing the throne but I feel like you need more data than ginger and beaky to go making wild claims
Genuinely curious: If your family is American, what brought them here?
Mine: religious nuttery & primogeniture
Mine: religious nuttery & primogeniture
February 3, 2026 at 6:31 AM
my chattiest uncle would always say there was a royal bastard shipped abroad to avoid disgracing the throne but I feel like you need more data than ginger and beaky to go making wild claims
man I do love my city and when I've lived in places with less strong winters I got so mad I couldn't dress properly but I reeeeeally needed that vacation. did you know there are places where the sun doesn't set at 5:30
February 2, 2026 at 7:45 AM
man I do love my city and when I've lived in places with less strong winters I got so mad I couldn't dress properly but I reeeeeally needed that vacation. did you know there are places where the sun doesn't set at 5:30
fingers crossed!
February 1, 2026 at 5:20 AM
fingers crossed!
Reposted by a one-man murdertwunk
this “chicago bail fund” and the entire network of newly registered bail funds are all scams. illinois made cash bail illegal in 2023 thanks to the incredibly hard work of many people, some of whom i know personally, so this is especially stupid
@forensicgarlic.bsky.social [@]chicagobailfund.bsky.social registered on Bluesky 20 days ago.
As did these "bail funds" for Boston, Seattle, and Portland.
Do you know if they are authentic?
idk the other followers. But could be sus also.
As did these "bail funds" for Boston, Seattle, and Portland.
Do you know if they are authentic?
idk the other followers. But could be sus also.
February 1, 2026 at 2:34 AM
this “chicago bail fund” and the entire network of newly registered bail funds are all scams. illinois made cash bail illegal in 2023 thanks to the incredibly hard work of many people, some of whom i know personally, so this is especially stupid
my mother didn't cook a single dish at christmas dinner this year, and I do enjoy cooking a lot more than she does and she did offer to help, but I knew as soon as I booked the tickets how it was going to go down
January 31, 2026 at 8:02 PM
my mother didn't cook a single dish at christmas dinner this year, and I do enjoy cooking a lot more than she does and she did offer to help, but I knew as soon as I booked the tickets how it was going to go down
ahhhhhhhh yes I know this dance
January 31, 2026 at 8:01 PM
ahhhhhhhh yes I know this dance
the bug is transforming into a stick insect
January 31, 2026 at 7:59 PM
the bug is transforming into a stick insect
you got your skewers!
January 31, 2026 at 7:00 AM
you got your skewers!
fingers crossed for you
January 31, 2026 at 6:57 AM
fingers crossed for you
the federal government has a list of subjects it doesn't want colleges teaching and some colleges have agreed to purge those subjects
January 31, 2026 at 4:21 AM
the federal government has a list of subjects it doesn't want colleges teaching and some colleges have agreed to purge those subjects
a dactyl, by the way, is a poetic foot where the first syllable is stressed and the next two are unstressed. you draw it, or at least my teacher drew it, like this: /◡◡
which, if you're fourteen and trying to study, is close enough to a pterodactyl's big pointy head and flappy wings to remember
which, if you're fourteen and trying to study, is close enough to a pterodactyl's big pointy head and flappy wings to remember
January 31, 2026 at 2:49 AM
a dactyl, by the way, is a poetic foot where the first syllable is stressed and the next two are unstressed. you draw it, or at least my teacher drew it, like this: /◡◡
which, if you're fourteen and trying to study, is close enough to a pterodactyl's big pointy head and flappy wings to remember
which, if you're fourteen and trying to study, is close enough to a pterodactyl's big pointy head and flappy wings to remember
lugging my brick-ass norton anthology of poetry to class in full 1pm sun and attempting to comprehend dactyls as if I weren't baking alive while the ancient a/c glugged out no more than a strongly worded suggestion of breeze didn't much endear me to wordsworth but it sure did build character
January 31, 2026 at 2:43 AM
lugging my brick-ass norton anthology of poetry to class in full 1pm sun and attempting to comprehend dactyls as if I weren't baking alive while the ancient a/c glugged out no more than a strongly worded suggestion of breeze didn't much endear me to wordsworth but it sure did build character
when I tell you in one semester I took fencing pottery and intro to sustainability I need you to understand portions of our walls were tarped off because some students had done murals in what was now known to be lead paint and the building was too old and shitty to be worth remediating
January 31, 2026 at 2:32 AM
when I tell you in one semester I took fencing pottery and intro to sustainability I need you to understand portions of our walls were tarped off because some students had done murals in what was now known to be lead paint and the building was too old and shitty to be worth remediating
looking at my college transcript is depressing me when I think about how many of those courses are probably banned now so how about high school courses instead
these do make me sound like a private-school brat, which I am not. they just put the money towards teacher salaries instead of ceiling tiles
these do make me sound like a private-school brat, which I am not. they just put the money towards teacher salaries instead of ceiling tiles
January 31, 2026 at 2:29 AM
looking at my college transcript is depressing me when I think about how many of those courses are probably banned now so how about high school courses instead
these do make me sound like a private-school brat, which I am not. they just put the money towards teacher salaries instead of ceiling tiles
these do make me sound like a private-school brat, which I am not. they just put the money towards teacher salaries instead of ceiling tiles
that's twink cousin not twin cousin
January 30, 2026 at 11:06 PM
that's twink cousin not twin cousin
cucked incessantly by your [redacted] while your fetching twousin is convinced you're somehow both gay as hell and still trying to be dl about it
January 30, 2026 at 11:06 PM
cucked incessantly by your [redacted] while your fetching twousin is convinced you're somehow both gay as hell and still trying to be dl about it